PREGNANT , HUSBAND DOESNT LIKE IT..

[Danno 1,228]

If he really didn't want to have another child he should have made sure that they were using proper birth control or he had had a vasectomy.

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah. But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.

Guys just can't win.

IF he doesn't want kids the wife is Chatel *Spelling)

If he does, he is treating her like a Broodmare.

[GabiandVi 34]

If he really didn't want to have another child he should have made sure that they were using proper birth control or he had had a vasectomy.

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah. But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.

Guys just can't win.

IF he doesn't want kids the wife is Chatel *Spelling)

If he does, he is treating her like a Broodmare.

If she wants children anyone calling her a broodmare is ignoring reality or intentionally insulting her.

[trillium13 84]

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah. But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.

It says right in the OP "She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship." So how is he being selfish? If he told her right up front that he didn't want to have any more children, and she married him anyway, that's her problem, not his. You can't say he wasn't considering her feelings if he told her his wishes from the beginning. If she didn't feel that was what would make her happy or be what was "best for her" then it was her responsibility to speak up when she had the chance. I don't see where in the OP it says that he doesn't care how she feels. He's been honest at least. If she wanted kids then she should have been honest, too. I don't see it mentioned anywhere that she was forced to marry this man, or that he in any way misrepresented himself.

[GabiandVi 34]

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah.[/color] But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.

It says right in the OP "She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship." So how is he being selfish? If he told her right up front that he didn't want to have any more children, and she married him anyway, that's her problem, not his. You can't say he wasn't considering her feelings if he told her his wishes from the beginning. If she didn't feel that was what would make her happy or be what was "best for her" then it was her responsibility to speak up when she had the chance. I don't see where in the OP it says that he doesn't care how she feels. He's been honest at least. If she wanted kids then she should have been honest, too. I don't see it mentioned anywhere that she was forced to marry this man, or that he in any way misrepresented himself.

Please read above.

[andana_dj 0]

Do u mind me asking how old is the woman?....does she have any children yet?

Because if she is a lot younger than him and also no babies yet..... he could be considered a very selfish person ....to take that happiness away from her and only thinking of his own position....

But as many people here stated earlier.....ite their own business.....every couple has its perks i guess....

Good luck

[DanielParul 50]

A child is a major commitment and should be planned for. It is unfair of one party to expect to surprise the other with a pregnancy when the other has expressed an opposite position. There are effective ways not to get pregnant and they should be followed until the couple agrees it is the right time. If the couple can't agree on having children they should consider ending the relationship. Many abused children started off as surprises for their parents. At this point there are abortion and adoption as options.

Wish life was this simple. He had a choice before - NOT TO GET HER PREGNANT. Now he only has 1 option - Man up to it and be a good father to their child.

[Nessa 23]

dump him and move back to your country

[trillium13 84]

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah.[/color] But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.

It says right in the OP "She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship." So how is he being selfish? If he told her right up front that he didn't want to have any more children, and she married him anyway, that's her problem, not his. You can't say he wasn't considering her feelings if he told her his wishes from the beginning. If she didn't feel that was what would make her happy or be what was "best for her" then it was her responsibility to speak up when she had the chance. I don't see where in the OP it says that he doesn't care how she feels. He's been honest at least. If she wanted kids then she should have been honest, too. I don't see it mentioned anywhere that she was forced to marry this man, or that he in any way misrepresented himself.

Please read above.

I read it, I addressed it in my first post. What's your point? That you're saying you're not talking about this man specifically? Not sure what I'm missing.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

dump him and move back to your country

or just give bj's in the future.

[NatPatBen 3]

50% of the situation is his. If he really didn't want to have another child he should have made sure that they were using proper birth control or he had had a vasectomy. He can't blame her for getting pregnant - after all, he was involved too. As an older individual I would actually expect him to take even more responsibility for preventing a pregnancy if he didn't want a child. Since there now is a child, he can't run away and pretend it is all her fault or she is to blame. She is his wife - for better or for worse - not 'for as long as you don't have a child even though we will have sex'. These are things he should have thought about before getting involved with a younger woman. He needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility. If she wants to leave him and take the child to go back home, that is one thing but she shouldn't leave because she is afraid of his 'displeasure'.

100%

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

Alright, tell your friend I'l take the child right after birth if they don't want or not ready to raise him/her...

PM me if okay.

Wth? That sounds so dodgy.

[spookyturtle 9,465]

dump him and move back to your country

or just give bj's in the future.

Bj's and #######, the safest bet.

[trillium13 84]

Bj's and #######, the safest bet.

[baron555 934]

[/font]

Pleasant Day Everyone!

This is my friends problem, She was pregnant and her husband didnt like it, She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship.and besides my friend said that her husband is in late mid 50's so its kind a awkward for him to see a little kid around him..They have an argument that if she want to get pregnant she should divorced him and find another man. She just got her two year conditional green card. Her husband didnt know that she is pregnant yet. She didnt get pregnant on purpose, She plan to go back to her country if her husband got pissed at her being pregnant.. Any advice?..

It is his fault. He is responsible for the child and MUST own up the responsibility. If your friend thinks that he is not capable of this, then she should divorce the loser and move on with her life.

Good luck to her and welcome to America.

[Nessa 23]

Bj's and #######, the safest bet.

lol