PREGNANT , HUSBAND DOESNT LIKE IT..

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Heck, if the husband loves the wife, then there's no need to run away. In fact, running away gives the father more benefits because he's not paying child support.

I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, a relationship is about responsibilities as well. If the father doesn't want to responsible for the kid, then he's a 50 year old scumbag who just like to stick his ####### into holes and expect nothing to happen.

don't bet on that.

If she moves to another country? Can she still be paid child support? I don't know that's why I'm asking.

yes. is someone worried about those previous trips of sowing their wild oats in cambodia now?

[Niels Bohr 72]

Heck, if the husband loves the wife, then there's no need to run away. In fact, running away gives the father more benefits because he's not paying child support.

I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, a relationship is about responsibilities as well. If the father doesn't want to responsible for the kid, then he's a 50 year old scumbag who just like to stick his ####### into holes and expect nothing to happen.

don't bet on that.

If she moves to another country? Can she still be paid child support? I don't know that's why I'm asking.

yes. is someone worried about those previous trips of sowing their wild oats in cambodia now?

No. I'm a human rights activist, really.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Pleasant Day Everyone!

This is my friends problem, She was pregnant and her husband didnt like it, She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship.and besides my friend said that her husband is in late mid 50's so its kind a awkward for him to see a little kid around him..They have an argument that if she want to get pregnant she should divorced him and find another man. She just got her two year conditional green card. Her husband didnt know that she is pregnant yet. She didnt get pregnant on purpose, She plan to go back to her country if her husband got pissed at her being pregnant.. Any advice?..

First, your friend needs to talk to her husband and make sure this is how he feels before she starts planning running away with the baby (This is real life, not the 5 o'clock soap opera ). the husband may change his mind when he realizes this is not just "A" baby, but his son or daughter.

If in fact the husband wants nothing to do with the baby and wants to divorce her for being pregnant, then leaving the country may not be such a good idea. Enforcing child support internationally may be too difficult and messy. She may be able to lift conditions on her own proving she entered the marriage in good faith (I don't think she would have any issues here), request alimony backed by the affidavit of support, and child support.

Saludos,

Caro

[spookyturtle 9,465]

If he doesn't want a child then he shouldn't be banging her.

[Marilyn. 340]

If he doesn't want a child then he shouldn't be banging her.

yeah the only sure fire way of not getting pregnant is abstinence, vasectomy for the man or tubal ligation for the woman..

even with birth control or condoms there still is a chance a woman could get pregnant..

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

If he doesn't want a child then he shouldn't be banging her.

[marien 0]

thats a problem of marrying an old fart

[Nik+Heather 121]

I'm not sure we know all the facts here. What if the woman said she was on birth control and then stopped taking it? While I do agree that it is the responsibility of both parties to plan together based on what they have agreed, if one is lying, how is it the honest one's fault?

Wife and I would love to have a baby, met a couple of years too late, something about an early menopause. Damn, those that don't want a child get one, and those that do, don't. Bringing a child into this world that is half hers and half you is a true seal of love.

If he doesn't want his own baby, we would take it, but maybe not, if the kid turns out like him, would be selfish and self-centered, could be in for a miserable life.

I'm not sure that not wanting a baby at 50 is selfish and self centered....holy hell, that kid will be still asking for college tuition when the guy is 72!!! Doesn't the guy have the right to want retirement and less responsibility?? There's a time in life for everything...

A child is a major commitment and should be planned for. It is unfair of one party to expect to surprise the other with a pregnancy when the other has expressed an opposite position. There are effective ways not to get pregnant and they should be followed until the couple agrees it is the right time. If the couple can't agree on having children they should consider ending the relationship. Many abused children started off as surprises for their parents. At this point there are abortion and adoption as options.

I agree. Whether or not to have children is pretty much a deal breaker if the couple can't agree. If they didn't talk about this before they married, I'm very sorry for them...if they did and she still married him knowing his wishes, but still wanted one for herself, I think that is very foolish. Just an example of love NOT conquering all...

I feel mostly sorry for the kid as well. Wasn't it's fault that it was conceived, but he or she will probably feel the brunt of this...

[chizkeyk 0]

Alright, tell your friend I'l take the child right after birth if they don't want or not ready to raise him/her...

PM me if okay.

[Danno 1,228]

I think given a little time, the husband will learn to accept the situation he set himself up for.

For him to talk her into an abortion would probably destroy both the unborn and their relationship.

[NutMagnet 2]

If he doesn't want a child then he shouldn't be banging her.

yeah the only sure fire way of not getting pregnant is abstinence, vasectomy for the man or tubal ligation for the woman..

even with birth control or condoms there still is a chance a woman could get pregnant..

Hardly sure fire. Have known three situations, 2 men and one woman whose tubes somehow found their way back together within 5 years of their procedures. Both men, tested clear at all post-op spuz tests. DNA confirmed fathers. Bummer, eh?

[-Cinnamon- 0]

Hmmmm. .

Just keep in mind that a CHILD is a gift from GOD.

God bless us.

xoxo

[NickD 202]

thats a problem of marrying an old fart

Placing an "old" adjective in front of fart is age discrimination, there are farts of all ages. Knew many that would put having a Harley or chrome mufflers on a pickup truck ahead of having a child. It's their choice, what really seems to be common today is the "single mom". If this couple can't work out their differences, she would be better to stay here and get child support, no way to get out of that. And having a child certainly shows good intent with the USCIS.

Can also opt to have that child legally put to death, but marriages don't last very long if one parent wants to keep that child with huge feelings of guilt. Also know guys that get jealous of their own kids because, the mom can't give them the attention with kids running around, so they go out to play. Real crime in this is against th taxpayer having to support these kids.

If this guy made it clear, he didn't want kids and she skipped the pill, maybe she was thinking some kind of miracle would happen, rarely works out that way, marriage does not change people. But have seen couples get back together after a divorce because of a kid. For her, this will be a very stressful period.

[thongd4me 69]

thats a problem of marrying an old fart

Not so.

Young farts are more prone to this disease.

This case is an abberation.

If the old guy has any sense he should.

1) Have enough maturity (obviously he is "acting" young, not old) to do the right thing.

2) Be able to support a wife & the kids they may make.

3) Also be mature enough that it takes 2 to make kids and his share of the blame is a full one.

4) Go back to high school and re-take elementary sex ed.

5) Watch at least one "chick flick" - he won't learn anything but maybe he'll get the idea

that women do have feelings.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around,

and don't let anybody tell you different.

Be careful what you pretend to be

because you are what you pretend to be.

-Kurt Vonnegut

[GabiandVi 34]

If he really didn't want to have another child he should have made sure that they were using proper birth control or he had had a vasectomy.

I don't know the age of the wife, and I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me, but I think it is selfish of an older man who already has a child to marry a younger woman who has never had a child if he doesn't want to have any more children. Especially a younger woman from a country where children are revered and it is rare to meet a woman who does not want to have one. Yes, she should not have married him if he told her he did not want any children and she has to lie in the bed she has made, yadah, yadah, yadah. But really, he can't have been thinking about her feelings or what would make her happy or what is best for her in the first place. He (he being a general man in this situation, not necessarily the subject of this discussion as I don't know all the facts) wanted a young, beautiful wife, and he didn't really care what she wanted. This smacks of a "wife is chatel" attitude.