Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part17)

[moni_calla 0]

I have never felt so much in a partnership with any other man I have dated before A. I know I worried a lot of you when I made the statement about taking more than the recommended dosage of meds to stop the pain. I appreciate the prayers, and I am starting to feel more like my happy jubilant self again because of all of your love and support.

I am still in pain...but now I'm about to cry out in prayer. You guys gave me back the strength to pray, and I love each of you for it.

Back to A. I told him what I posted when he called and I just started crying and told him that I was so tired...just tired. He got angry at first and started preaching at me...then it hit him and he started crying. He told me baby just hold on...I'm coming home...we will fight this together. You are not alone...this is our fight together until one of us gets called home the right way...by God. He told me that he will get as many jobs as he has to if I have to take disability...he just doesn't want me to think about leaving him and our kids.

He asked me not to ever say something like that again because it was selfish...and I wasn't thinking about how much pain those people that love me would be in if something happened to me. He cried so hard that he ended up getting a headache.

I called him back last night and told him thank you for letting me know that we truly are a team and it is not a one-sided relationship where the woman is responsible for holding things together. He told me that love doesn't require a thank you.

I also wanted to apologize to JaPrincess publicly. I could have done this through PM, but I wanted to let all of you know that I am capable of admitting my mistakes. I think that you are a wonderful person, full of joy and optimism. I pray that your relationship is ordained and blessed by the most High. I have to be mindful of my friends' feelings, even in my truth. I wasn't trying to question your relationship, but in hindsight I realized that I basically called you a liar. For that, I am sorry.

When I thought about what Mr. JaP told you...I found it unbelievable...but I didn't consider that not everyone is going to be the best poet. What matters is what feelings he was expressing to you. Most of my friends are males, and most are not eloquent in their normal conversations...so that's why I thought the poet in you cleaned it up to reflect what he was trying to express to you.

I myself am guilty of being a person that is in love with being in love...until I get bored. I am a hopeless romantic realist. My self discovery allowed me to see that in my past relationships, I wasn't truly in love with the man I was with...but more in love with the newness of the love relationship...the untapped possibilities. It explained why it was always so easy for me to walk away unscathed. Yeah, I shed a few tears...but nothing that would cause me to loose myself in another person. I have managed to stay friends with several of the guys I dated. I feel blessed that my eldest son's father respects me enough to alter his entire life to take care of me and my boys since October 2008.

All this to say, I am still a work in progress. I strongly believe in "to thine ownself be true"...but I could have approached this situation between me and JaP another way if I had questions about certain things. I hope that you can forgive me.

Jawi

Very nice post, did you find your phone?

[moni_calla 0]

i am trying to hang in there. i haven't spoken to her tonight and she knows to stay away. i have been crying a lot tonightg and have just been in my room thinking about what i can do to change her behavior.

Dillon, she's been through a lot since you started this process too. She went from being the center of your attention to not in a pretty short time. She has this new man in her life when she hasn't really known a father figure in her life, right? And, now the little boy. It's a lot for a child to take in all at once.

You need to just keep reinforcing that you love her and how important she will always be to you and the family. But, also how important Mikel and his son are as well. And, you do have to continue to punish her for bad behavior. She has to know what is unacceptable.

If all else fails, you may have to get her a little therapy to deal with it all.

I'm sorry, girlie. I wish you only the best here.

I agree, also alone time with just you and her with help ease much of the anger/confusion she is feeling as well.

Life is tough, there is always something new thrown into the mix.

Edited August 12, 2009 by moni_calla

[dancehallquana 5]

Princess, what a cutie!!

Dillon, so sorry to hear you are having problems - My friend recommends this book:

http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/ecom.../mode/view/id/1

You find out who your friends are, Sus.

I only asked cause I never heard you say "his friend" or anything like that. Knowing all the stuff you have told me he's done for his friends, I think that's a load of BS that they aren't there for him.

That's what I have been saying all along, JG - think it's finally sinking in - His one friend is the ONLY one I count as a true friend - he would do anything - When we had all the car problems back in Jan, he came from Kingston, picked us up in Negril and took us to Ochi to get the car back - on his one day off from work.

sus.. some ppl just have to be SHOWN.. all the talking in the world won't sink in.. sorry DJ had to realize this way.. i hope somebody is able to come and help out a bit.. maybe even teenage relatives??? skool hasn't started yet.

[dillon 6]

I just want to thank everyone for their support. I am going to order the book sus...thanks.

Finesse I am going to link you later in the afternoon...you will have to let me know what worked and what doesn't work for you guys.

JAP- thanks so much for your prayers and finding info for me. I know it is a big change in her life and I knew it was not going to be all roses all the time...but going through this day in and day our truely is a challenge and I was really worn out with it all yesterday.

JG....thanks girl for your words...I just have to remember that she is a child and it takes time.

Today is a new day!

JAP...how did you do with dropping him off? Did you cry? Pictures of him in his classroom please!

[sus 70]

sus.. some ppl just have to be SHOWN.. all the talking in the world won't sink in.. sorry DJ had to realize this way.. i hope somebody is able to come and help out a bit.. maybe even teenage relatives??? skool hasn't started yet.

Unfortunately, no teenage relatives - we will work it out, I am not too stressed about it - I just want to be sure he is okay and taken care of, and that someone is cooking him regular HEALTHY meals -

[dancehallquana 5]

i am trying to hang in there. i haven't spoken to her tonight and she knows to stay away. i have been crying a lot tonightg and have just been in my room thinking about what i can do to change her behavior.

Dillon, she's been through a lot since you started this process too. She went from being the center of your attention to not in a pretty short time. She has this new man in her life when she hasn't really known a father figure in her life, right? And, now the little boy. It's a lot for a child to take in all at once.

You need to just keep reinforcing that you love her and how important she will always be to you and the family. But, also how important Mikel and his son are as well. And, you do have to continue to punish her for bad behavior. She has to know what is unacceptable.

If all else fails, you may have to get her a little therapy to deal with it all.

I'm sorry, girlie. I wish you only the best here.

I agree, also alone time with just you and her with help ease much of the anger/confusion she is feeling as well.

Life is tough, there is always something new thrown into the mix.

dill pickle.. im praying for u to have peace in the storm.. i know its upsetting..

my girls are too indifferent.. they act like roger is not there.. not intentionally i know.. he understood at first, but now it kind of hurts his feelings.. if they come into a room he's in and don't speak, or even worse speak to me and ignore him..

i have talked w /them but its a habit and hard to break.. i will say "hi roger???" or "am i the only person in the room"

stay encouraged mami.. we all in this together

[*JG* 2]

This made me crack up this morning.......

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stor...42?OpenDocument

Anyone need a good laugh?

[dancehallquana 5]

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

[*JG* 2]

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

Ha ha.........First thing to go, Quana!

Anyone watching hurricane developments.......This current storm will probably be a named storm in a few days. Looks like it's weak and will die out to sea. It's well north east of Jamaica.

New wave off the coast of Africa came up yesterday. This one they are saying should be watched more closely. And, heading further south. Jamaica would at the very least get some rain if it develops.

I'm sort of a weather groupie during hurricane season if you all can't tell!

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

He's got to make it through this school year first.

[jawi876 2]

Dillon, she's been through a lot since you started this process too. She went from being the center of your attention to not in a pretty short time. She has this new man in her life when she hasn't really known a father figure in her life, right? And, now the little boy. It's a lot for a child to take in all at once.

You need to just keep reinforcing that you love her and how important she will always be to you and the family. But, also how important Mikel and his son are as well. And, you do have to continue to punish her for bad behavior. She has to know what is unacceptable.

If all else fails, you may have to get her a little therapy to deal with it all.

I'm sorry, girlie. I wish you only the best here.

Right on the money JG. Dills, Marley had her own personality back when I met her at age 2. Give her time...children really can't process that the world does not revolve around them in their little minds. Right now, she knows that her world has been turned upside down and inside out...and mommie's covers were moving. Try not to get frustrated with her...she is trying to show discontent with HER new WORLD...I really don't think she is personally trying to be disrespectful.

jawi.. dats why u my girl!

one more week.. i can't wait to see the arrival pics.. PLEASSEE tell me u will put at least one on VJ.. i don't have FB..

I will try to send one to your email address. But, I honestly feel that VJ has served its purpose for me.

Respect, Jawi! Always, Respect!!!!!!

For you too my friend.

Jawi, you have a wonderful man - I can just imagine the amount of pain you are in, and my neck injury was no where near the level of yours - Hang in there and stay strong, one more week until your love is home!!

I'm still in constant pain...the meds are doing nothing but making me depressed. I'm excited about him coming even though I don't know what we will do about eating everyday since he can't cook. LOL

Very nice post, did you find your phone?

Yeah...forgot to mention that. It was hiding under my sunglasses on the passenger seat of my car.

[sus 70]

This made me crack up this morning.......

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stor...42?OpenDocument

Anyone need a good laugh?

LMAO, that's hysterical

I'm still in constant pain...the meds are doing nothing but making me depressed. I'm excited about him coming even though I don't know what we will do about eating everyday since he can't cook. LOL

That is exactly why God invented Takeout!

[moni_calla 0]

Dillon, she's been through a lot since you started this process too. She went from being the center of your attention to not in a pretty short time. She has this new man in her life when she hasn't really known a father figure in her life, right? And, now the little boy. It's a lot for a child to take in all at once.

You need to just keep reinforcing that you love her and how important she will always be to you and the family. But, also how important Mikel and his son are as well. And, you do have to continue to punish her for bad behavior. She has to know what is unacceptable.

If all else fails, you may have to get her a little therapy to deal with it all.

I'm sorry, girlie. I wish you only the best here.

Right on the money JG. Dills, Marley had her own personality back when I met her at age 2. Give her time...children really can't process that the world does not revolve around them in their little minds. Right now, she knows that her world has been turned upside down and inside out...and mommie's covers were moving. Try not to get frustrated with her...she is trying to show discontent with HER new WORLD...I really don't think she is personally trying to be disrespectful.

jawi.. dats why u my girl!

one more week.. i can't wait to see the arrival pics.. PLEASSEE tell me u will put at least one on VJ.. i don't have FB..

I will try to send one to your email address. But, I honestly feel that VJ has served its purpose for me.

Respect, Jawi! Always, Respect!!!!!!

For you too my friend.

Jawi, you have a wonderful man - I can just imagine the amount of pain you are in, and my neck injury was no where near the level of yours - Hang in there and stay strong, one more week until your love is home!!

I'm still in constant pain...the meds are doing nothing but making me depressed. I'm excited about him coming even though I don't know what we will do about eating everyday since he can't cook. LOL

Very nice post, did you find your phone?

Yeah...forgot to mention that. It was hiding under my sunglasses on the passenger seat of my car.

Ok good, happy you found it!

[dancehallquana 5]

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

Ha ha.........First thing to go, Quana!

Anyone watching hurricane developments.......This current storm will probably be a named storm in a few days. Looks like it's weak and will die out to sea. It's well north east of Jamaica.

New wave off the coast of Africa came up yesterday. This one they are saying should be watched more closely. And, heading further south. Jamaica would at the very least get some rain if it develops.

I'm sort of a weather groupie during hurricane season if you all can't tell!

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

He's got to make it through this school year first.

oh my bad.. eyes AND mind gone!!

[finesse 3]

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

Ha ha.........First thing to go, Quana!

Anyone watching hurricane developments.......This current storm will probably be a named storm in a few days. Looks like it's weak and will die out to sea. It's well north east of Jamaica.

New wave off the coast of Africa came up yesterday. This one they are saying should be watched more closely. And, heading further south. Jamaica would at the very least get some rain if it develops.

I'm sort of a weather groupie during hurricane season if you all can't tell!

congrats jg on ur oldest graduation..

and im sure there was something else i meant to comment on but i can't remember sorry..

He's got to make it through this school year first.

jg reporting live from st. louis

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

jawi.. dats why u my girl!

one more week.. i can't wait to see the arrival pics.. PLEASSEE tell me u will put at least one on VJ.. i don't have FB..

I will try to send one to your email address. But, I honestly feel that VJ has served its purpose for me.

what you tyna say jawi.

you not coming here anymore?