Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part17)

[NatPatBen 3]

Bunz, why don't you like the term dating?

Quana, I'm glad you asked if I'm going to the courthouse. I want to get married by one of my church's pastors. I got the # of the lady who schedules weddings for them & need to call her... But if tey don't have availability, then I'll go to the courthouse.

Ells, I DEFINITELY understand your annoyance about the carelessness. Especially with things such as the keys & address & phone numbers, because then your safety is in potential jeopardy. I know Quana is saying to have lots of patience, but there has to be some way to (hypnosis??) to minimize that characteristic trait. It's one thing to lose something in the house, but quite another to leave important, identifying things (documents, keys) out in the World.

[sus 70]

easy my gyal lol.. but i still woulda been mad.. uh can they leave a msg instead of calling 100 times???

Exactly my point - I rarely use the cards anyway, and pay it in full when I do - Obviously something is out of the norm if I am late - just leave a message and I will fix it!

[*JG* 2]

All day today my cell has been ringing with an unknown number - So I googled it, and came up with one of my credit cards, and reports of it being a telemarketer for them - It just rang again, same number, and I answered it, ready to rip for a telemarketer calling me - Stupid me, forgot to pay my bill!

You just joined the forgetful club!

[sus 70]

All day today my cell has been ringing with an unknown number - So I googled it, and came up with one of my credit cards, and reports of it being a telemarketer for them - It just rang again, same number, and I answered it, ready to rip for a telemarketer calling me - Stupid me, forgot to pay my bill!

You just joined the forgetful club!

LOL, Forget to pay bills = yes, guilty - Lose things - Not me!

[DaDa 1]

Ok VJers.. I have a question that has been lurking on my mind (hope it hasn't been asked and if it has, please lead me to the page):

How hard would you think it would be or has it been for your SO to get accustomed to living in a town/city that is predominantly white? I ask this because I was talking w/ my hubby about living in such an area and he states that he doesn't know if he could. Now he did say that since he loved me, he would live there, but he strongly thinks he'd try to convince me to move. It is a culture shock for them to move to another country in itself, but to also move to where there are very very few minorities. Have any of you experienced such a thing??

*sidenote:

I am in no way, shape or form racist and I do not ask this to hurt feelings or cause drama. Just a curious mind is all I have,

Well I don’t know about your hubby but I for one live in a predominately white city all my life and I am looking for the day to move to a city that is more diverse. Atlanta would be my dream place to live. I love it down there because to me it’s evenly populated or AA tips the scale. It s was so nice being in a city where AA people were doing great. Here in my city it’s shame but to find majority of AA you find them in he rougher parts of the town where public housing is more popular. When you go out in our suburbs where the nicer houses and cars are its mainly all white and if you are AA and move out there you get into big drama. T o me my city is still quite racist. When I went to ATL I was in culture shock seeing AA people driving fancy cars and living in fancy homes. It was so uplifting. My city is currently trying to think of ways to increase the AA population because most of them are moving to other cities that are more diverse.

I fell in love with JA because it s mainly all black I love it so like you said for him to move here and now you want to seclude him man oh man I think that is asking a bit much but in the end you have to do what you have to do.

Hey Sus what kind of law office do you work for?

[^KK^ 3]

Ok VJers.. I have a question that has been lurking on my mind (hope it hasn't been asked and if it has, please lead me to the page):

How hard would you think it would be or has it been for your SO to get accustomed to living in a town/city that is predominantly white? I ask this because I was talking w/ my hubby about living in such an area and he states that he doesn't know if he could. Now he did say that since he loved me, he would live there, but he strongly thinks he'd try to convince me to move. It is a culture shock for them to move to another country in itself, but to also move to where there are very very few minorities. Have any of you experienced such a thing??

*sidenote:

I am in no way, shape or form racist and I do not ask this to hurt feelings or cause drama. Just a curious mind is all I have,

It was apparently VERY hard in my case....

why do you say it was hard? were people being mean? or it was hard for him to finally adjust to the town.

Never mean...in fact I notice up here that white people actually go out of their way to say hi and be friendly to blacks. Not a word to me, but a hi or hello to him. It was apparently more of an issue within himself and not being comfortable in his own skin....

I wonder why they felt they had to go out of the way to say hi. was it because he was new to the town? or black?

I do however think it is a good way to make him "feel" accepted by white people saying hi.

For my own personal experience, the best situation for me is when there is a nice diverse setting (either work, school, or neighborhood). I grew up in majority black elementary and middle school. For high school, I got this idea that I wanted to go to a different school than my friend or neighbors. I went to a majority white school. I still had majority black friends. All of my friends (mainly black) were not in honors classes. I asked the guidance counselor to downgrade me to regular so that I could have classes with my friends. She called my parents on me (that snitch) and I wasn't allowed to get out of the honors classes. I was all the only black person in my classes. Except when I took electives and even sometimes I was the only black (no counting the teacher) as none of my friend thought Accounting in high school was fun. No one was mean to me...but I felt sooo out of place and really didn't enjoy my high school days to the fullest. But at home and work, I was never the only black.

I went to a majority black college....LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! I met all kinds of people mixed, carribbean, african, students from Texas, New Orleans, Cali, NYC, Philly, and of course Florida. It was just nice to meet all of these black people but we were still culturely different. I admit I was nervous entering in the Corporate environment. We had a session at school to address the cultural shock (that's what they called it).

I have notice about myself that if I'm the only black (lets say in a training class) and there are other minorities , Indians and hispanics...I usually feel more comfortable..even forget the fact that I'm the only sista in there.

I know I kinda went out to the right with this subject...but what can I say...I felt I could/should share my thought....

[Islandwoman 0]

All day today my cell has been ringing with an unknown number - So I googled it, and came up with one of my credit cards, and reports of it being a telemarketer for them - It just rang again, same number, and I answered it, ready to rip for a telemarketer calling me - Stupid me, forgot to pay my bill!

Ooopss.....

and thats it island.. altho i would not prefer it, heck we can do just about anything if we TRY..u have to roll up ur sleeves and just make it work..

Amen Sister! That's my motto...I can do anything I put my mind to.

[sus 70]

Hey Sus what kind of law office do you work for?

I don't anymore - I work in a Corporate Law Dept - I used to do Personal Injury work, fire subrogation, medical malpractice, ......

Now I just deal with angry customers and class actions, lol

[^KK^ 3]

Ok VJers.. I have a question that has been lurking on my mind (hope it hasn't been asked and if it has, please lead me to the page):

How hard would you think it would be or has it been for your SO to get accustomed to living in a town/city that is predominantly white? I ask this because I was talking w/ my hubby about living in such an area and he states that he doesn't know if he could. Now he did say that since he loved me, he would live there, but he strongly thinks he'd try to convince me to move. It is a culture shock for them to move to another country in itself, but to also move to where there are very very few minorities. Have any of you experienced such a thing??

*sidenote:

I am in no way, shape or form racist and I do not ask this to hurt feelings or cause drama. Just a curious mind is all I have,

Well I don’t know about your hubby but I for one live in a predominately white city all my life and I am looking for the day to move to a city that is more diverse. Atlanta would be my dream place to live. I love it down there because to me it’s evenly populated or AA tips the scale. It s was so nice being in a city where AA people were doing great. Here in my city it’s shame but to find majority of AA you find them in he rougher parts of the town where public housing is more popular. When you go out in our suburbs where the nicer houses and cars are its mainly all white and if you are AA and move out there you get into big drama. T o me my city is still quite racist. When I went to ATL I was in culture shock seeing AA people driving fancy cars and living in fancy homes. It was so uplifting. My city is currently trying to think of ways to increase the AA population because most of them are moving to other cities that are more diverse.

I fell in love with JA because it s mainly all black I love it so like you said for him to move here and now you want to seclude him man oh man I think that is asking a bit much but in the end you have to do what you have to do.

Hey Sus what kind of law office do you work for?

DaDa - I was reading this article how only 5% of churches are racially integrated.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/0...days/index.html

Yardies - What do you think? Is this wrong? Right? Okay?

[MRStee 19]

omg.. AMAZING.. is exactly what it was.. i've always thought sex was very much a mental act as sexual and the idea of being w/ ur husband or wife SET IT OFF for us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plus ending the drought...................

lol @ that smiley

[phillyfashionista 8]

no it wasn't, we just NEEDED to meet up it was bout time LOL.. i haven't told jahlove yet LOL.. mrs buggy knew LOL and dada knew..

its not many details...we had been considering it, cuz another trip to JA for me looked like it wasn't gonna happen ANY time soon, altho that was our dream.. roger was just overcome w/ emotion one day, i don't know what came over him.. he said that he loved me so much and wanted to marry me that same night if he could, he wanted me to be mrs roger..

so now i was overcome like WHOA are u serious?? and i said.. okay lets do it!!!!!!!!

so we filed the paperwork and friday went in w/ my girls.. we were in just regular church clothes, but he looked SOOOOOOOOO fine, and i was ravishing also of course..

i think we must have been the only ones getting married that day and we were just hamming it up.. taking pics in the lobby like it was a real wedding or something everyone joined in smiling at us and taking our pics for us since we didn't have anybody with us..

we went into the judge's ofc and i was mad, like THIS is where u gonna do it..but the judge gave us like a mini counseling session.. he made us think and LAUGH.. he was a VERY nice gentleman and very WISE.. my girls signed as our witnesses..

we didn't hve rings cuz it was so last min, but the judge had some lil keepsake rings for us, that we have worn like it was 24 kt gold and 5 kt diamonds.. WE LOVE OUR RINGS..

we walked into the room and there was actually a lil ARCH w/ flowers.. i WAS SOOOO HAPPY.. the judge took pictures of us AS HE DID our vows.. photographer/minister.. what to do u think bout that!!!

we had cheesecake and strawberry champagne back at home that afternoon, after visiting my mom, who wanted to make it, but she couldnt' get off w/ such short notice..

she was very against it, but she knows my mind is set and she always respects my decisions and is loving w/ roger, even if she thinks i should be w/ someone w/ money and more stability..

soooo.. it was a BEAUTIFUL DAY and we will go to jamaica hopefully next year and do it big..

Oh Quanna this is so sweet! I love that your girls signed as witnesses. How are they now that Roger is Step Daddy and not just a visitor. Are you going to so something special just the 2 of you in a form of a honeymoon, maybe a sexy party LOL

kk. we are gonna file the AOS from here.. hopefully i can get the money to get his medical done in the next 2 weeks and maybe get the filing done next mnth.. i hope

I luv it this is so perfect, also you can provide insight from filing on the other side and your journey

I still can't stop smiling LOL

[IrieCat 2]

Ok VJers.. I have a question that has been lurking on my mind (hope it hasn't been asked and if it has, please lead me to the page):

How hard would you think it would be or has it been for your SO to get accustomed to living in a town/city that is predominantly white? I ask this because I was talking w/ my hubby about living in such an area and he states that he doesn't know if he could. Now he did say that since he loved me, he would live there, but he strongly thinks he'd try to convince me to move. It is a culture shock for them to move to another country in itself, but to also move to where there are very very few minorities. Have any of you experienced such a thing??

*sidenote:

I am in no way, shape or form racist and I do not ask this to hurt feelings or cause drama. Just a curious mind is all I have,

Well I don’t know about your hubby but I for one live in a predominately white city all my life and I am looking for the day to move to a city that is more diverse. Atlanta would be my dream place to live. I love it down there because to me it’s evenly populated or AA tips the scale. It s was so nice being in a city where AA people were doing great. Here in my city it’s shame but to find majority of AA you find them in he rougher parts of the town where public housing is more popular. When you go out in our suburbs where the nicer houses and cars are its mainly all white and if you are AA and move out there you get into big drama. T o me my city is still quite racist. When I went to ATL I was in culture shock seeing AA people driving fancy cars and living in fancy homes. It was so uplifting. My city is currently trying to think of ways to increase the AA population because most of them are moving to other cities that are more diverse.

I fell in love with JA because it s mainly all black I love it so like you said for him to move here and now you want to seclude him man oh man I think that is asking a bit much but in the end you have to do what you have to do.

Hey Sus what kind of law office do you work for?

DaDa - I was reading this article how only 5% of churches are racially integrated.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/0...days/index.html

Yardies - What do you think? Is this wrong? Right? Okay?

I am sending Tierra to Bible Camp this week. I was so happy to see all the brown kids that were there monday morning. I wish there were more integrated churches here. Tierra's father sang in the church choir down in MD, had a CD released and everything... I can't find a church ANYWhere in Maine that has a kids choir. I hate to say it but "white" church is boring.. I actually enjoyed going to church with Tierra's dad. I was the only white person there and NEVER felt out of place.

[NatPatBen 3]

Like NeNe says...communication is key to long marriage. kikikik...Nene from Real Housewives of Atlanta

@ quoting Real Housewives of Atlanta for keys to long marriage.

MrsBuggy, I'd prefer to live in a diverse neighborhood. My first neighborhood in New Orleans was all Black. When I lived in Austin, Texas, I wondered if there were ANY Black people. I like Houston because it is very diverse. I just got back from a Toastmaters meeting at work & there were people from Pakistan, Nigeria, India, as well as America.

nope.....and would never subject hubby, myself nor my child to such living...

I finesse

ells - i'm with you....i'd be annoyed

its definately annoying i agree, i annoy my dyam self!

That's funny.

[Islandwoman 0]

For my own personal experience, the best situation for me is when there is a nice diverse setting (either work, school, or neighborhood). I grew up in majority black elementary and middle school. For high school, I got this idea that I wanted to go to a different school than my friend or neighbors. I went to a majority white school. I still had majority black friends. All of my friends (mainly black) were not in honors classes. I asked the guidance counselor to downgrade me to regular so that I could have classes with my friends. She called my parents on me (that snitch) and I wasn't allowed to get out of the honors classes. I was all the only black person in my classes. Except when I took electives and even sometimes I was the only black (no counting the teacher) as none of my friend thought Accounting in high school was fun. No one was mean to me...but I felt sooo out of place and really didn't enjoy my high school days to the fullest. But at home and work, I was never the only black.

I went to a majority black college....LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! I met all kinds of people mixed, carribbean, african, students from Texas, New Orleans, Cali, NYC, Philly, and of course Florida. It was just nice to meet all of these black people but we were still culturely different. I admit I was nervous entering in the Corporate environment. We had a session at school to address the cultural shock (that's what they called it).

I have notice about myself that if I'm the only black (lets say in a training class) and there are other minorities , Indians and hispanics...I usually feel more comfortable..even forget the fact that I'm the only sista in there.

But why do you feel uncomfortable KK? Is it because they MAKE you feel uncomfortable or is it just your own perception? For instance, when I went to a Jamaican club in NYC and it starts filling up and me and there are only like 4 white people there, I'm totally fine with it. My best friend was like we gotta go. The way I look at it is we are people....we can't change the skin we were born it like we can change our hair....just love who you are and be the best person you are. I hate the fact that people still pay attention to the "differences"....

[dancehallquana 5]

hey ells.. PLEASE know i don't mean disregard his behavior, i just mean that if it continues, it is something u will have to learn to deal with or u will be miserable fussing all the time..

that will help ur own sanity i think.. if its not a dealbreaker (reason for divorce) then sometimes u gotta just grin and bear it...AFTER u get in his rass a few times LMAO

kk.. ur comment is relevant to the discussion, i enjoyed hearing ur take.. i went to an ALL black skool in elementary and then multicultural in middle and highskool, but still mostly black..

college was the CULTURE SHOCK.. i think its why i went from honor student to mediocre student.. i didn't enjoy going to a skool w/ VERY few blacks.. even tho it had indians, white, asian.. i went nevertheless...