VJers who have outstayed their welcome

[CanAmCharlotte 0]

I know this should probably go in the rant and vent thread but it seems important enough to post seperately. Have you noticed there are a few VJers who lurk on this website and contribute only nasty or negative comments to those who have problems and really need guidance? It's really starting to piss me off. Some of these jerks (and I haven't noticed them in the Canadian sub-forum) are already naturalized for crying out loud. I find that a bit odd. No offense duckies but once I'm naturalized, I'll wish everyone a sincere good luck and goodbye and then I'm outta here! (Now if someone wants to stick around out of the goodness of their heart and offer sage and accurate advice, I think that's admirable). The negative stuff happened to me only at the very beginning of my immigration journey and it got so bad with one particular member that I sent him a private message and asked him in no uncertain terms to disregard any further postings from me.

Is there someone to whom we should report these bad apples?

[Aniomaman 0]

I thought I was the only one who seemed to notice these people, they seem to loose their head once they have gone through the process and are so condescending. They will of course come here to defend their actions but it's very bad if you just make assumption and belittle people just to make yourself feel good,people come here for help and not for you to pass judgements on their relationships or assume they are at fault because their visas have been refused.I try to avoid them as much as possible and am glad am not the only one who seemed to notice this.

[thetreble 19]

Ok.

[Inky 1,111]

Im not sure if it works or if anyone looks at them but there is a Report button underneath the persons post usually on the left side of the screen there, you could try reporting whoever leaves nasty comments on your questions, other then that maybe find out who the mods are and send one a PM thing if its really bad.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Yes, there are some bad apples on VJ and some of them are old timers who are now using Visa Journey as their social network site rather than for the immigration purposes. I too wish there were some way to remind them of what it was like when they were on their own Visa Journey but they seem to have short memories - either that, or they just don't care.

The best thing you can do when you find these people being disruptive is to report them. If there is an actual post that is disruptive, use the report key on the post and it will go to the moderators and to administration. We then get a chance to look at the situation and hopefully find some way to deal with it or resolve it. If someone is sending you disruptive PMs, definitely report those as well to one of the moderators. Forward the post to us by PM. TOS violations can happen in private messages as well as on the site.

If you feel someone is being deliberately provocative or trying to push 'buttons', ignore them and report them. "Baiting" for some type of an emotional response is also a TOS violation and it seems quite popular with some individuals. They seem to get some sort of thrill out of the drama that they instigate.

The most unfortunate part of much of this is that those people who are often most in need of VJs wonderful weath of information are put off by such treatment and behaviour that they leave or don't participate even if they have questions or problems of their own. I am glad you persevered in spite of being treated badly. I wish there was a better way for us to protect the legitimate users of VJ from those who think it is their personal playground and seem to get vicarious thrills out of bullying, insulting, picking on and baiting other members.

Use the report button!

(Depending on the responses you get here I may move this to the Site Discussion forum instead. I will leave it here for the time being, though).

Edited August 4, 2009 by Kathryn41

[Jenn! 918]

Is there someone to whom we should report these bad apples?

Reports of specific posts can be made my using the report button. This will send a report to the moderators and site admin.

If you have more general concerns regarding specific members, you can privately message Captain Ewok directly.

To be honest, such members are usually not "removed" from the community, unless the behavior is really OTT. However, Captain Ewok has recently addressed the community regarding "off-topic" behavior in the immigration forums.

Also, the ignore feature is really quite useful and not utilized nearly enough.

ETA: Yeah, what Kathryn said!

Edited August 4, 2009 by Jenn!

[TayRivers 4]

I thought I was the only one who seemed to notice these people, they seem to loose their head once they have gone through the process and are so condescending. They will of course come here to defend their actions but it's very bad if you just make assumption and belittle people just to make yourself feel good,people come here for help and not for you to pass judgements on their relationships or assume they are at fault because their visas have been refused.I try to avoid them as much as possible and am glad am not the only one who seemed to notice this.

Sadly for some, VJ has become a place for fun and entertainment at others expense. Some members look apon it as their place for socializing but they are no longer interested in helping others with their immigration journeys..

The answer to this problem, I do not know!!

[Danu 19]

The great thing is we have a wonderful and caring mod team, but they do need help now and then as they can't be all over the whole board at once. I've noticed this type of behaviour from several people, and really the best way is to report the thread/post as that way they know where its happening. I would hope that if its becoming a consistant issue and that the people are not taking the warnings given to them that at some point something will be done, but at least the mods usually clean things up to remove the posts that really don't help anyone.

I know its hard, I have been there, but every time I am just about to give up I remember that I'm not just here for me. I'm here to support others by cheering them on, giving them the help and the info they need, just as others did for me. Definately report any PM's that are personal attacks, you can also block people from PMing you if that should become an issue, but hit that report button if you see something out of line. I know a few people can be reminded that what they say comes off as harsh, and I don't think some of the members who do this realize what they are doing, as they usually calm down and get back to the subject after a gentle nudge (even by people like you or me).

*hugs* for you.

[CanAmCharlotte 0]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I personally haven't had any "attacks" lately but I have noticed some very unhelpful and condescending remarks from a few others recently. Because these reponses weren't in answer to any of my own posts, I guess I was feeling reluctant to report them. On the other hand, I feel protective of the newbies who can be overwhelmed (as I certainly was at the outset of this journey). If I now read something that an only be deemed hurtful/sarcastic/nasty/racist, I will definitely report it whether it's directed at me or not.

Thanks again. You guys rock!

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I know this should probably go in the rant and vent thread but it seems important enough to post seperately. Have you noticed there are a few VJers who lurk on this website and contribute only nasty or negative comments to those who have problems and really need guidance? It's really starting to piss me off. Some of these jerks (and I haven't noticed them in the Canadian sub-forum) are already naturalized for crying out loud. I find that a bit odd. No offense duckies but once I'm naturalized, I'll wish everyone a sincere good luck and goodbye and then I'm outta here! (Now if someone wants to stick around out of the goodness of their heart and offer sage and accurate advice, I think that's admirable). The negative stuff happened to me only at the very beginning of my immigration journey and it got so bad with one particular member that I sent him a private message and asked him in no uncertain terms to disregard any further postings from me.

Is there someone to whom we should report these bad apples?

Left click on their name (on the post) and select "- Report Member"

You can also "X Ignore member"

and if you think someone is doing a good job select "+ Praise Member"

[The_Dude 1,142]

I think there are some people who go to far, myself being one of them, but I only do it in the OT section, which has nothing really to do with the immigration process. Being mean and snide in the immigration related forums is poor form.

I frequently see people who join, do no research of their own, disregard the guides, and just go straight to posting their direct question. If they had done a simple search or read the guides as they are supposed to, this would save a lot of grief and provide not only pertinent information, but relateable stories from others who have gone through the same thing.

[warlord 73]

I'm probably way over welcomed then. Honestly though I come here because it's interesting seeing how others are doing going through the entire process. Mine was different then most, so it is interesting.

I also tend to help out more when you have the odd person that is actually doing the marriage based thing on TN or other statuses or visas that are not the usual K-1. People find it helpful hearing from someone who has done it. Plus immigration law and discussions interest me, I get to learn more about it and so it is kind of fun.

I definatly do like the fun threads too, just things that I can recall from living in Canada or differeneces between the two countries and the like.

It also gives me something fun to do at work when I need a mental break.

But the things like TN status marriages or people who are in the N-400 to citizenship stage and have questions about things, I like to help as I know quite a bit about the processes.

In fact I joined this board researching something from another immigration website where many people have long gotten their citizenships and are on there debating immigration law with people that are presently going through it. I was already a citizen I think when I found the Canada forum. I got hooked when I saw a few posts by people confused about the whole TN to marriage to Green Card thing.

Anyways that's just me...

[trailmix 77]

Personally I say stay as long as you like!

I get what you are saying about people being jerks - I mean they are here (not in the Canada forum) - but I think that is beside the point as to where they are in their immigration journey.

Aside from being an immigration forum, this is also a social forum.

[thetreble 19]

Personally I say stay as long as you like!

I get what you are saying about people being jerks - I mean they are here (not in the Canada forum) - but I think that is beside the point as to where they are in their immigration journey.

Aside from being an immigration forum, this is also a social forum.

Exactly.

People are going to be jerks everywhere, though. Whether it's here, out on the street or another form. Just gotta ignore it or roll with it.

[ddartt1 2]

I know this should probably go in the rant and vent thread but it seems important enough to post seperately. Have you noticed there are a few VJers who lurk on this website and contribute only nasty or negative comments to those who have problems and really need guidance? It's really starting to piss me off. Some of these jerks (and I haven't noticed them in the Canadian sub-forum) are already naturalized for crying out loud. I find that a bit odd. No offense duckies but once I'm naturalized, I'll wish everyone a sincere good luck and goodbye and then I'm outta here! (Now if someone wants to stick around out of the goodness of their heart and offer sage and accurate advice, I think that's admirable). The negative stuff happened to me only at the very beginning of my immigration journey and it got so bad with one particular member that I sent him a private message and asked him in no uncertain terms to disregard any further postings from me.

Is there someone to whom we should report these bad apples?

VJers can stay for as long as they like because this is also a social site but they should avoid nasty comments.