Treatment from those in your old country.

[Old Dominion 26]

Canada is a nice country. So?

[SCFsnoopy 0]

It's funny though because we all joke that my American friends and I are the 'uncultured American swine' which is totally a joke because we're all pretty well educated and knowledgeable about world politics, culture, etc. It's just a joke - one which might offend some people, but I absolutely know my German family loves me and say this in absolute jest.

A bit like my host dad calling me a "stupid Aussie!" whenever I said something he didn't understand, haha. We both knew he was just joking, you can't be offended by everything

As for the South American clash we've got going on... remember that every person will have a different experience, and this goes for forming an opinion on cultural norms too. If you know SA couples that are all fantastic, good for you. If you know a lot of SA couples that are not so nice, well, that's life. Either way it's going to influence what you think about the culture in general. How many times have I insisted that kangaroos DON'T jump down the street in Australia, only to have it happen right in front of my fiance when he came to visit? Now he tells everyone, "yes, kangaroos DO jump down the street over there!" and it reinforces the stereotype. It can only take one experience to forever alter your view about something or someone. If you two have had different experiences, so be it, it's nothing to be offended about.

[Nik+Heather 121]

The US in a conflict with Canada? Over what? ..............I suppose if the Letters E & H were in short supply, we may have a reason to attack.

Oh no! I need TWO every time I spell my name! If they start rationing, I'd have to be Heatr or Ather! or Hater! Eeww! I know I already replied to this thread, but I just had to get that out of my system!

I'm the USC, Chaz... and I have heard EVERYTHING from my family against Riggs.

"He's rude", (he's English, and honest, what do you expect?!?)

"He's unemployed, and making your life difficult" (You know... If I wasn't with anyone, it doesn't matter that I'm not getting a second income, and my life would be SOO much worse without him in it)

"It would be so much nicer if you just went and found a rich American. Things would be so much easier for you."

I don't want easy! lol... I want Riggs!

His family understands why he wants to go. He has many more opportunities in America with me, than he does in England. I would love to get rich some day, and own a home in both countries... someday, we could get there.

But this choice of ours, this long hard road we have to walk... its not because we want the easy way, Its because we're in love! Nothing will stand in our way!.... well.... maybe the government could.... but we won't talk about that...

My mother loves Nik. Any time she's around when someone asks me about him, she jumps in with how helpful he was when he was visiting, and the only thing she could complain about is that sometimes he speaks very softly. In my experience, Nik is probably one of the MOST polite people I know, so I'm not sure it's required of the English to be bluntly honest even when it is rude. Though Nik also has a customer service back ground, so he's painfully aware of how he treats people...

My dad was a little worried about the unemployment (he was laid off for some time while we were dating - enabled us to spend 3 months together!), but once Nik got and held a good job for more than a year, he settled down about that, and hearing that Nik is putting off his arrival to work as late as possible has reeeeally helped. If he's worried about the post arrival unemployment, he hasn't said anything.

My friends (Americans) are the ones who have been asking, "Why can't you move there?? We could come visit you" and "If you don't take this opportunity to get dual citizenship, I'll keeeeeel you!!"

I pinged Nik about what others have said, and mostly there's just interest in his plans, and "you must be excited" His boss said that he hasn't stopped smiling since he told everyone that he's moving here to get married!

[Kil 0]

My wonderful wife is from Peru. And while I have met Peruvian men who are good family men, there are many many men that are still happy to be pracitcing Machistas. In fact, I was quite shocked how how bad it is. I know American men can be that way too but.... wow And women are told, thats the way it is you will have to put up with it.

I have been to Peru 5 times and everytime we go my wife's girl friends are quite amazed when she tells them that I think nothing of doing housework. They are always asking me if I have friends they can meet.

[TBoneTX 46,173]

The American family love me being here. My British family do not. They offered a lot of criticism about my move

They're probably still seething because the Colonies broke away. They'll get over it in another few centuries, si man.

[TBoneTX 46,173]

The US in a conflict with Canada? Over what? ..............I suppose if the Letters E & H were in short supply, we may have a reason to attack.

That's true, si man, eh (found some!). I personally think that the Canadians are hostile due to routinely experiencing withdrawal symptoms because the U.S. doesn't have Tim Horton's.... or, because they hunger for moose brisket and little is to be found in the U.S., si man, eh (found more!).

And, as a TOS-conforming modification of what got yanked out of proportion, my wife's family & friends are uniformly pleased and often amazed to hear of the egalitarian cultural differences around the home and how I treat her. Let's see who can misinterpret THAT, si man.

[TwoTravelers 0]

they are still envious.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, eh. My wife is currently back in Ecuador for her first visit since emigrating (I will join her soon on a brief trip); her friends are most interested in how I treat her in the marriage. In her country (and much of South & Central America), men are "machistas," meaning that they exhibit macho behavior -- the ultimate double standard. The men can stay out all night with their friends, cheat with mistresses, not lift a finger to help around the home, and (yes) punish their wives if the wives dare take a night "off" to go out with their girlfriends, for example: "Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? You were cheating on me!" It's a facet of society there. My wife's girlfriends are fascinated that I will do laundry & dishes, for example -- a new concept, eh.

Here we go with stereotypes again ... is it possible for people to write without making stupid generalizations?

I don't know anything about you and your relationship, but just because you are married to an Ecuadorian does not give you the right (or the knowledge) to trash Ecuadorian (and South American) men in general. Maybe men in her family are like you say, but that does not make all South Americans what you want to qualify them.

I know plenty of South American families and in none of them the husband is a "machista" who stays out at night cheating while their wives are punished if they take a night off. That happens only in your dreams. In fact, if we want to continue with generalizations, these South American husbands are a lot better than most USC husbands that I know (who do indeed go out to drink with their buddies at night while their wives are at home caring of their children).

How about that?

Well, how about that! You just argued a stereotype (which wasn't actually a stereotype) with a stereotype! Way to go!!

The guy was simply describing his personal story, not stereotyping.

You know, you are going to find "machistas", or whatever stereotype you choose, all over the world. But I gotta say I'm a USC and do not know one guy that treats his wife poorly in any way... 50/50.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

As an example of what a stereotype can do, I remember the reaction of the father of my girlfriend the day I asked for permission to take her to Barbados (a country that does not require a visa to visit -> especially important due to the difficulties that Russian women have to get almost any visa).

Her father completely refused my idea, because "if she went with me to Barbados she was going to disappear forever and be chopped in pieces, in order for me to sell her organs around." That was a lost battle from the beginning

It did not matter how well her father knew me (I had spent one month in their city and had had plenty of interesting conversations with him). The moment I mentioned Barbados (the Caribbean) he changed his tuned and did not trust me anymore, until my mother went to Russia to visit with me.

Was his fear warranted?

This is why I do not like partial truths.

[Tinkerbell TX 0]

It's funny though because we all joke that my American friends and I are the 'uncultured American swine' which is totally a joke because we're all pretty well educated and knowledgeable about world politics, culture, etc. It's just a joke - one which might offend some people, but I absolutely know my German family loves me and say this in absolute jest.

A bit like my host dad calling me a "stupid Aussie!" whenever I said something he didn't understand, haha. We both knew he was just joking, you can't be offended by everything

As for the South American clash we've got going on... remember that every person will have a different experience, and this goes for forming an opinion on cultural norms too. If you know SA couples that are all fantastic, good for you. If you know a lot of SA couples that are not so nice, well, that's life. Either way it's going to influence what you think about the culture in general. How many times have I insisted that kangaroos DON'T jump down the street in Australia, only to have it happen right in front of my fiance when he came to visit? Now he tells everyone, "yes, kangaroos DO jump down the street over there!" and it reinforces the stereotype. It can only take one experience to forever alter your view about something or someone. If you two have had different experiences, so be it, it's nothing to be offended about.

LOL, I'm the "Yank" when I go over there to visit. (going over in Oct for a visit and can't wait!)

[trillium13 84]

I personally think that the Canadians are hostile due to routinely experiencing withdrawal symptoms because the U.S. doesn't have Tim Horton's....

Sorry for mild threadjack...

Did you know that there are some Tim Horton's in Upstate NY?

[TBoneTX 46,173]

Did you know that there are some Tim Horton's in Upstate NY?

In Canandaigua?! If so, I'm there, eh!

[Mrs.J06 4]

Haven't heard anything negative, either, lots of jokes about stereotypes of course, but from people who know they are just that - stereotypes.

My sister calls my husband her "yankie brother", and people who have not travelled to the US yet are just really curious and ask tons of questions all the time. However, everybody in my family and almost all of my friends had already been here for visits before I moved, so it's not such a big deal for them.

[trillium13 84]

Did you know that there are some Tim Horton's in Upstate NY?

In Canandaigua?! If so, I'm there, eh!

LOL! I went to there website and looked this up-and yes-there are actually 2 Tim Horton's in Canandaigua NY.

[TBoneTX 46,173]

LOL! I went to there website and looked this up-and yes-there are actually 2 Tim Horton's in Canandaigua NY.

TWO Tim Horton's, and no need to go to Canada... heaven, si man. I hope that the teeming population of the Canandaiguan Metroplex can sustain two Tim Horton's, si man. The larger question is: Why would you actually perform research purely to answer my stoopid question, huh man? Do you lack better things to do? Edited August 5, 2009 by TBoneTX

[Sandrila 1]

In my husband's country of Morocco, he told me that people were jealous of him coming to America.

i.e...giving the evil eye (cursing him) and even the potential of someone stealing his documents (passport) or harming him.

Most of his contacts are not from good financial situations and to see someone get out just makes them

realize it is one less person to share their despairity with.

There were rumors going around that he was in jail over there, not here as they had been told.

These guys don't believe that he could have had a geuine chance to get out.

A couple laughed and told him not to return looking like refridgerator....lol cuz they know the

obesity epidemic looming in the United States.

Edited August 6, 2009 by Sandrila