my wife wants to file a divorce

[stone123 0]

I entered the US thru K1 visa, after a couple of months my adjustment of status had been approved.

My wife told me that i only used her for GC, and it hurts me a lot when she said it.She is very suspicious that,she thinks that i have other girl.

She always saying bad words toward me.She is very demanding, and i cant take it anymore.

i gave all my immigration documents to her, so that she will think that i did not used her for greencard.

She told me that she will file a divorce, so i said its up to her.We always fight everyday, so i decided to go back to my country.

I just feel so sad and depressed about the outcome of my marriage.

Edited August 2, 2009 by stone123

[Dakine 26]

I entered the US thru K1 visa, after a couple of months my adjustment of status had been approved.

My wife told me that i only used her for GC, and it hurts me a lot when she said it.She is very suspicious that,she thinks that i have other girl.

She always saying bad words toward me.She is very demanding, and i cant take it anymore.

i gave all my immigration documents to her, so that she will think that i did not used her for greencard.

She told me that she will file a divorce, so i said its up to her.We always fight everyday, so i decided to go back to my country.

I just feel so sad and depressed about the outcome of my marriage.

At least you have your act together and won't put up with a bunch of ####### just for the GC. There's plenty fish in the sea. Move on and apply what you've learned for the next time.

Good Luck.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I entered the US thru K1 visa, after a couple of months my adjustment of status had been approved.

My wife told me that i only used her for GC, and it hurts me a lot when she said it.She is very suspicious that,she thinks that i have other girl.

She always saying bad words toward me.She is very demanding, and i cant take it anymore.

i gave all my immigration documents to her, so that she will think that i did not used her for greencard.

She told me that she will file a divorce, so i said its up to her.We always fight everyday, so i decided to go back to my country.

I just feel so sad and depressed about the outcome of my marriage.

I'm so sorry this is happening. As much as it hurts now, everything happens for a reason. I wish you luck and happiness in the future.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Moved from AOS to Effects

[Milan Kudrak 1]

Moved from AOS to Effects

you don't have to leave!

As soon as divorce is final you can file I-751 waiver based. Mine got approved.

[Calypso 464]

Do you have a job there? Perhaps your wife is just using her "suspicions" to start arguing with you daily. Her allegations that you have someone else could be a false reason. It may also be possible that she is feeling financially burdened by your presence but can't say it directly to you and she's using her allegations to cover up the truth. I don't mean to make you feel bad but let's be straightforward.

Why don't you try talking things over with her? Your wife is acting strangely. Marriage isn't a flat iron that when you touch its base and you feel burnt, you could pull away your hand too easily.

If you have no job yet, that's not your fault. When she initiated the petition of bringing you to the U.S., she should have foreseen the possibility that you couldn't work immediately. Or was she just daydreaming of a fairytale when she invited you there? Tell me, in the first place, were you the one who insisted of taking yourself to the States?

If you have a job and money is not a problem, there could be other reasons of her irrationality and irritability. Maybe she has discovered that you are not the person she once thought you were. Or perhaps she's the one who has somebody else and is making an escape by placing the blame on you.

Reflect, pray, and do something if you want to save your marriage.

[soniew910 0]

bon voyage.

[jeff's bride 0]

Hi Stone,

Sorry to hear about your problems, I hope everything works out. I was wondering though, maybe you could give us some advice, did you find that your wife was different after you arrived than who you thought she was when you met? Did she portray herself differently during your communications before you got here than she really is?

I worry that things are sometimes sugarcoated for my fiancee before he gets here and he'll have a bit of a shock once he's here.

Again, I wish you the best, keep us updated.

[Canadian/American 3]

Hi Stone,

Sorry to hear about your problems, I hope everything works out. I was wondering though, maybe you could give us some advice, did you find that your wife was different after you arrived than who you thought she was when you met? Did she portray herself differently during your communications before you got here than she really is?

I worry that things are sometimes sugarcoated for my fiancee before he gets here and he'll have a bit of a shock once he's here.

Again, I wish you the best, keep us updated.

Hi there,

If you worry that things are sugarcoated for your fiancee ask yourself why would that be? Are you not being yourself when you talk? You need to talk about all subjects. Ask and answer questions like "What makes you mad?" and "How do you react when something upsets you?". Ask TONS of questions. Be yourself, be honest. Even about things like, when I'm in traffic and someone cuts me off I react like "xxxx".

I am now married and moved to the US with my husband and there were no surprises. We talked so much and really got to know each other before I moved here and married. We also had quite a few personal visits and we made sure we did lots of things, like met friends and family, not just the two of us. You can tell a lot about another person when they are hanging out with their friends and/or the other person is meeting people. Talk about situations and what if's.

Just because Stone's situation did not work out does not reflect on how these situations work out. There are many happy marriages from these visas.

As for Stone, I suggest that marriage is something that needs to be lovingly tended to. Go see a councellor if she will. She may be covering up that she has a lover or it may just be stress of a new marriage. Ask yourself what you do or say to make her feel that way. It may be nothing, but it always takes 2! Ask her to be honest and have mediation so you can talk.

Stay if you like it here and you can do so or go home if that's where you want to be and your friends and family (support system) are. Make the decision based on what YOU want. You went to a lot of trouble to get here and so did she, so remember why you first did this and see if anything can be salvaged.

People do sometimes keep a happy smiley face on when you first meet and pretend to be someone they aren't, but it can only stay on for a certain amount of time and then their true character comes through. Trust your gut feelings and instincts.

I wish you luck.

[stone123 0]

Do you have a job there? Perhaps your wife is just using her "suspicions" to start arguing with you daily. Her allegations that you have someone else could be a false reason. It may also be possible that she is feeling financially burdened by your presence but can't say it directly to you and she's using her allegations to cover up the truth. I don't mean to make you feel bad but let's be straightforward.

Why don't you try talking things over with her? Your wife is acting strangely. Marriage isn't a flat iron that when you touch its base and you feel burnt, you could pull away your hand too easily.

If you have no job yet, that's not your fault. When she initiated the petition of bringing you to the U.S., she should have foreseen the possibility that you couldn't work immediately. Or was she just daydreaming of a fairytale when she invited you there? Tell me, in the first place, were you the one who insisted of taking yourself to the States?

If you have a job and money is not a problem, there could be other reasons of her irrationality and irritability. Maybe she has discovered that you are not the person she once thought you were. Or perhaps she's the one who has somebody else and is making an escape by placing the blame on you.

Reflect, pray, and do something if you want to save your marriage.

Yes I have a job there.I been working as an RN(registered Nurse) in the hospital and in the Nursing home.

Just an update:

my wife is now here in the Philippines, I was surprised last night .

Yes, you are right we really need to talk and solve the problems.

For all the advices, thank you

[MikenKyhen 0]

Sooo I take it you moved back to the Philippines and now your wife just showed up there out of the blue wanting to work things out? What is exactly the status of your relationship now? Perhaps there is hope after all.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Hi Stone,

Sorry to hear about your problems, I hope everything works out. I was wondering though, maybe you could give us some advice, did you find that your wife was different after you arrived than who you thought she was when you met? Did she portray herself differently during your communications before you got here than she really is?

I worry that things are sometimes sugarcoated for my fiancee before he gets here and he'll have a bit of a shock once he's here.

Again, I wish you the best, keep us updated.

Hi there,

If you worry that things are sugarcoated for your fiancee ask yourself why would that be? Are you not being yourself when you talk? You need to talk about all subjects. Ask and answer questions like "What makes you mad?" and "How do you react when something upsets you?". Ask TONS of questions. Be yourself, be honest. Even about things like, when I'm in traffic and someone cuts me off I react like "xxxx".

I am now married and moved to the US with my husband and there were no surprises. We talked so much and really got to know each other before I moved here and married.

This was VERY helpful to us as well. no suprises to date.....

to the OP,

Im sorry, I hope you guys can sort through this and if not that you can heal and move on in a healthy way. Good Luck