What do you do if you are in my situation?

[hopelesswoman 0]

Hi to all,

I need some advices, suggestions or what you can do if you are in my situation. I came from another country, I have been here in America for almost 3 years now and I am not happy and missing my family so bad. I have lots of regrets for my decision and because of the guy's promises and everything, I thought he was my soulmate and a nice guy that you can live forever. I thought he was the one, for his sweet words and being a God believer. When I got in America everything's change, he wasn't the man I was talking to. I had a strong faith in God, I grew up believing in God and praying for a good husband, until now I am always asking myself why me Lord. I am very disappointed for coming over here. And it's even more hard for me because I didn't grew up calling me crazy, evil woman that you know in your hearts that you are just seeking all the truth, I am very devastated. I left him many times already and he ask many chances, for my stupidity I came back, I was really value the marriage but until now I am not happy with him at all. I wanna leave him so bad but I have my baby which is really hard for me to leave that easy. I open to him everything, and he said he didn't say that, this, nor didn't do anything. I had to go back forcely with a reason that He left us in the other county because his kid wasn't there for us and he thought too that back year 2008 the world is coming to an end and he needs spend time with his kid and his family, so I had to find a place to live and I went to another state and I brought the baby, I don't have idea this law even friends, we don't have idea. He filed me child abduction, so I had to go back or i'm going to prison, I can't fight, I don't have nothing as in zero, I don't have friends that we can stay, or otherwise I can lose my baby. And my friends told me, we cannot help you financially, you don't have choice you have to go back. I was very sad, very devastated, don't know what to do.

I am trying to be happy everyday, but it's just gonna explode anytime. Ever since, he never there for me, I have been telling him that I missed my family so much and the lifestyle I used to have, all his saying that what starts, all of a sudden you are in tears, there is really something wrong with you, he never there for me when I am down. I don't know why I came back, I should not coming back to him anymore.

I have a question for everybody, man or woman. "When your wife giving birth in the hospital and the baby just born that day, and your wife asking, can you stay for couple hours, i need your help with the baby co'z I had c-section and at the same time breastfeeding the baby, I was begging him to stay and even in tears, he has a kid from his second marriage, and then "he said I can't stay with you because my son it's gonna get jealous and I wanna spend time with him" this words tearing me apart, it was killing me, he was the only husband/person in this country that I can rely on." Until right now I am still devastated to think what I've been through with this man.

I have been asking for divorce many times and I think he don't want it because mostly of the stuff in the house it's in my name, eg. electricity, bank (any bank denied him to open), etc. I don't know exactly what's the reason, he never tell me.

He had a lot of lies, he deceived me so I will come in this country. I found out that this guy is very screwed up, with his past marriages, lots of debts. I have been trying to ask him for a divorce, he don't want too even if he knew that I don't love him anymore. He is hurting me so bad through lies, emotional and verbal. One time, we had argument and this time, I have lots of anger with him and hurts, and he called me I am a devil woman after I said I hate his kid and he called to his friends, and they all talk and he spray an oil on me and saying stop devil right now, I was crying so hard like a baby, a husband that don't understand your feelings of what I've been through, it was killing, tearing me apart.

He has a kid from his previous marriages and this kid drives me crazy everyday, i am an adult but this kid is just very bad all the time, because in the first beginning this kid grew up without discipline and he put his kid priority all the time and even harmful to our baby, it's not nice to hate people and I hate this kid with a passion, he knows how to lie to death just like his father. This kid I caught him peeing on the baby's mouth, forcing to put food on the mouth, put coins in his mouth, gush!

Right now, my greencard expired soon and he don't wanna file taxes and I need that for my immigration and I am thinking that to do it myself but he insist, no don't do that, I will do that.

My life is so complicated and miserable, if you are in this situation, what do you do including a baby? what legal actions you can do? Plans?

I am so hopeless right now, devastated, I don't have peace in my mind everyday, I have been very very very sad, how to fight this challenge of mine and get up again.

Please open your opinion for me and thanks so much in advance whoever leave a feedback on my post.

God Bless to All!!!

[TBoneTX 46,173]

Speak with an attorney who has experience with immigration and family law -- or, one attorney with experience in each area. If you can't afford one, Catholic Charities is said to be able to refer you to one. Otherwise, seek help at a women's shelter. We here cannot be of any meaningful assistance to you besides giving you this advice. Please follow it, and good luck.

Edited August 1, 2009 by TBoneTX

[sasha414 0]

to answer your question, if i were in your place, i would leave him and file for child support. good luck.

[Brian&Naty 0]

Hi to all,

I need some advices, suggestions or what you can do if you are in my situation. I came from another country, I have been here in America for almost 3 years now and I am not happy and missing my family so bad. I have lots of regrets for my decision and because of the guy's promises and everything, I thought he was my soulmate and a nice guy that you can live forever. I thought he was the one, for his sweet words and being a God believer. When I got in America everything's change, he wasn't the man I was talking to. I had a strong faith in God, I grew up believing in God and praying for a good husband, until now I am always asking myself why me Lord. I am very disappointed for coming over here. And it's even more hard for me because I didn't grew up calling me crazy, evil woman that you know in your hearts that you are just seeking all the truth, I am very devastated. I left him many times already and he ask many chances, for my stupidity I came back, I was really value the marriage but until now I am not happy with him at all. I wanna leave him so bad but I have my baby which is really hard for me to leave that easy. I open to him everything, and he said he didn't say that, this, nor didn't do anything. I had to go back forcely with a reason that He left us in the other county because his kid wasn't there for us and he thought too that back year 2008 the world is coming to an end and he needs spend time with his kid and his family, so I had to find a place to live and I went to another state and I brought the baby, I don't have idea this law even friends, we don't have idea. He filed me child abduction, so I had to go back or i'm going to prison, I can't fight, I don't have nothing as in zero, I don't have friends that we can stay, or otherwise I can lose my baby. And my friends told me, we cannot help you financially, you don't have choice you have to go back. I was very sad, very devastated, don't know what to do.

I am trying to be happy everyday, but it's just gonna explode anytime. Ever since, he never there for me, I have been telling him that I missed my family so much and the lifestyle I used to have, all his saying that what starts, all of a sudden you are in tears, there is really something wrong with you, he never there for me when I am down. I don't know why I came back, I should not coming back to him anymore.

I have a question for everybody, man or woman. "When your wife giving birth in the hospital and the baby just born that day, and your wife asking, can you stay for couple hours, i need your help with the baby co'z I had c-section and at the same time breastfeeding the baby, I was begging him to stay and even in tears, he has a kid from his second marriage, and then "he said I can't stay with you because my son it's gonna get jealous and I wanna spend time with him" this words tearing me apart, it was killing me, he was the only husband/person in this country that I can rely on." Until right now I am still devastated to think what I've been through with this man.

I have been asking for divorce many times and I think he don't want it because mostly of the stuff in the house it's in my name, eg. electricity, bank (any bank denied him to open), etc. I don't know exactly what's the reason, he never tell me.

He had a lot of lies, he deceived me so I will come in this country. I found out that this guy is very screwed up, with his past marriages, lots of debts. I have been trying to ask him for a divorce, he don't want too even if he knew that I don't love him anymore. He is hurting me so bad through lies, emotional and verbal. One time, we had argument and this time, I have lots of anger with him and hurts, and he called me I am a devil woman after I said I hate his kid and he called to his friends, and they all talk and he spray an oil on me and saying stop devil right now, I was crying so hard like a baby, a husband that don't understand your feelings of what I've been through, it was killing, tearing me apart.

He has a kid from his previous marriages and this kid drives me crazy everyday, i am an adult but this kid is just very bad all the time, because in the first beginning this kid grew up without discipline and he put his kid priority all the time and even harmful to our baby, it's not nice to hate people and I hate this kid with a passion, he knows how to lie to death just like his father. This kid I caught him peeing on the baby's mouth, forcing to put food on the mouth, put coins in his mouth, gush!

Right now, my greencard expired soon and he don't wanna file taxes and I need that for my immigration and I am thinking that to do it myself but he insist, no don't do that, I will do that.

My life is so complicated and miserable, if you are in this situation, what do you do including a baby? what legal actions you can do? Plans?

I am so hopeless right now, devastated, I don't have peace in my mind everyday, I have been very very very sad, how to fight this challenge of mine and get up again.

Please open your opinion for me and thanks so much in advance whoever leave a feedback on my post.

God Bless to All!!!

[Brian&Naty 0]

Hi to all,

I need some advices, suggestions or what you can do if you are in my situation. I came from another country, I have been here in America for almost 3 years now and I am not happy and missing my family so bad. I have lots of regrets for my decision and because of the guy's promises and everything, I thought he was my soulmate and a nice guy that you can live forever. I thought he was the one, for his sweet words and being a God believer. When I got in America everything's change, he wasn't the man I was talking to. I had a strong faith in God, I grew up believing in God and praying for a good husband, until now I am always asking myself why me Lord. I am very disappointed for coming over here. And it's even more hard for me because I didn't grew up calling me crazy, evil woman that you know in your hearts that you are just seeking all the truth, I am very devastated. I left him many times already and he ask many chances, for my stupidity I came back, I was really value the marriage but until now I am not happy with him at all. I wanna leave him so bad but I have my baby which is really hard for me to leave that easy. I open to him everything, and he said he didn't say that, this, nor didn't do anything. I had to go back forcely with a reason that He left us in the other county because his kid wasn't there for us and he thought too that back year 2008 the world is coming to an end and he needs spend time with his kid and his family, so I had to find a place to live and I went to another state and I brought the baby, I don't have idea this law even friends, we don't have idea. He filed me child abduction, so I had to go back or i'm going to prison, I can't fight, I don't have nothing as in zero, I don't have friends that we can stay, or otherwise I can lose my baby. And my friends told me, we cannot help you financially, you don't have choice you have to go back. I was very sad, very devastated, don't know what to do.

I am trying to be happy everyday, but it's just gonna explode anytime. Ever since, he never there for me, I have been telling him that I missed my family so much and the lifestyle I used to have, all his saying that what starts, all of a sudden you are in tears, there is really something wrong with you, he never there for me when I am down. I don't know why I came back, I should not coming back to him anymore.

I have a question for everybody, man or woman. "When your wife giving birth in the hospital and the baby just born that day, and your wife asking, can you stay for couple hours, i need your help with the baby co'z I had c-section and at the same time breastfeeding the baby, I was begging him to stay and even in tears, he has a kid from his second marriage, and then "he said I can't stay with you because my son it's gonna get jealous and I wanna spend time with him" this words tearing me apart, it was killing me, he was the only husband/person in this country that I can rely on." Until right now I am still devastated to think what I've been through with this man.

I have been asking for divorce many times and I think he don't want it because mostly of the stuff in the house it's in my name, eg. electricity, bank (any bank denied him to open), etc. I don't know exactly what's the reason, he never tell me.

He had a lot of lies, he deceived me so I will come in this country. I found out that this guy is very screwed up, with his past marriages, lots of debts. I have been trying to ask him for a divorce, he don't want too even if he knew that I don't love him anymore. He is hurting me so bad through lies, emotional and verbal. One time, we had argument and this time, I have lots of anger with him and hurts, and he called me I am a devil woman after I said I hate his kid and he called to his friends, and they all talk and he spray an oil on me and saying stop devil right now, I was crying so hard like a baby, a husband that don't understand your feelings of what I've been through, it was killing, tearing me apart.

He has a kid from his previous marriages and this kid drives me crazy everyday, i am an adult but this kid is just very bad all the time, because in the first beginning this kid grew up without discipline and he put his kid priority all the time and even harmful to our baby, it's not nice to hate people and I hate this kid with a passion, he knows how to lie to death just like his father. This kid I caught him peeing on the baby's mouth, forcing to put food on the mouth, put coins in his mouth, gush!

Right now, my greencard expired soon and he don't wanna file taxes and I need that for my immigration and I am thinking that to do it myself but he insist, no don't do that, I will do that.

My life is so complicated and miserable, if you are in this situation, what do you do including a baby? what legal actions you can do? Plans?

I am so hopeless right now, devastated, I don't have peace in my mind everyday, I have been very very very sad, how to fight this challenge of mine and get up again.

Please open your opinion for me and thanks so much in advance whoever leave a feedback on my post.

God Bless to All!!!

Oh, Sorry guys, I posted before I put a reply on the first one. Anyway, Lets just do it this way. FACT: The other child is dangerous to your child's safety and health. FACT: You are miserable and depressed. SO you need to leave with the baby and do it in one swift motion. Put all the emotional ramifications to the side for now. You need clarity in your thinking. This is an issue best served by someone that is in your local area and can actually help you. I am sure there are Local, county, and state organizations that have dealt with circumstances such as yours. This is a dangerous situation with the other child doing these things to the baby. Make calls now. Everyone here is going to say more or less the same thing. Just get the hell out of there.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

I had a strong faith in God, I grew up believing in God and praying for a good husband, until now I am always asking myself why me Lord.

I am going to get some disagreement for what I am going to write, but I feel that I have to say it:

First, you need to stop asking why you. That will only make you a victim and will not help you move forward with your life. Nobody can make you feel happy or sad. You are the only one who can control your feelings. Once you stop feeling like a victim, you can take actions to solve your dilemma.

Second, find professional help. This is a situation that requires guidance from somebody who knows what s/he is doing. You may not be successful doing this alone, especially when in your thoughts you keep asking why you. There are women shelters in every state who are more than happy to help.

Third, do not worry about immigration. Your first worry must be to get away from his negative environment once and for all. It is not an easy thing to do, but you must go through with it. Immigration will fall into place at the right time.

Fourth, try to find a job. It is not easy for a single mother with a baby, but you have to find a way to provide for yourself and your baby. Do not expect any support from the man. Even if you get a judgment against him, I am very sure that he will not pay. Therefore, find a way to depend on yourself.

Fifth, gather yourself up and make the decision about staying or leaving only after your legal situation is resolved. You do not want anybody going after you for making decisions without legal backing.

Keep us posted. I hope this helps, even though it sounds a little cold and callous. Good luck!

[hopelesswoman 0]

Thanks guys, I would definitely seek some legal actions and find an attorney. Sometimes in our life when trouble comes we don't know what to do, no matter how strong you are and needs someone to say to you, C'mon! be strong, wake up, GET UP! no matter how many times you fail, we have to accept and face the consequences, things just happen that we don't expect. So I am not just gonna feel down no matter how hard it is but I'll keep my head up and I will just put into God's hands together with my work. I passed my driving test (behind the wheel) today so I can go somewhere and find work, go to school for different career and do something more interesting. While we are still alive, we still have hope, so now and then I have to think positive all the time and face whatever circumstances coming.

I would like to thank the person who said (clueless), "Never expect a man's support". I learned on that one Thank YOU!

Take care and May God Bless You all......

[Sandrila 1]

I hope GOD will give you the strength you need to take care of yourself and your baby and

get out of there. I know it seems hopeless to you but anything is possible with GOD.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Your husband is not treating you nicely. Your thoughts are with your family, and they all are in your home country. Your heart is not here, but also in your home country.

You deserve to live where you feel good and are treated with respect. Go home, whereever that is, and don't waste another thought on your husband. Don't waste time or money on an attorney. Just go home as soon as possible, and just before you do, cancel everything that's in your name.

[Mike and Yan 0]

You know an open forum is gonna support you...take that with a grain of salt.

On the converse all responders should know we are getting only 1/2 of the truth. AT BEST. Usually the truth is the 3rd story.

Cheap advice.

My $2 is:

Advice for a divorce is sickening. however crummy your situation, your child is more important. your job is to keep that soul and raise the small person into a valuable contribution in our society.

The 'grass is greener' on the divorced side? NOT!

Having screwed it up myself, I can attest both paths are not easy. But it is worse for divorced immigrants' children.

How does husband like his situation?

You want to end the arguments? Buy a video camera and record your "events". Then watch them and see how foolish the both of you are. A camera is a heartless friend. You will both equally hate it.

It is a powerful tool and cheaper than a counselor or shyster lawyer x 2

BTW forget the lord, look for your bootstraps,

best wishes

[NArocks 13]

Contact Catholic Charities for help if you cannot afford an attorney. You need to straighten out this situation as it affects you it affects the child you have even more. Get off the pity pot and get yourself in a good place........

[Giskat09 2]

im sorry to hear this but i know that GOD is still there for you - protecting you and guiding you. Im here in USA for almost a month now and i hope and i pray also that my husband wont change.. we always pray and kneel down together (weve been praying even online since 2006) and still its the same.. just be strong. Thats all i can advise.. if u are not strong - you will not be able to do what you need to do. Be wise and start calling someone who can be a great potential help like a pastor or from any organization that is related to women and child stuffs..

God bless you and may the Lord touch the heart of your husband

Hi to all,

I need some advices, suggestions or what you can do if you are in my situation. I came from another country, I have been here in America for almost 3 years now and I am not happy and missing my family so bad. I have lots of regrets for my decision and because of the guy's promises and everything, I thought he was my soulmate and a nice guy that you can live forever. I thought he was the one, for his sweet words and being a God believer. When I got in America everything's change, he wasn't the man I was talking to. I had a strong faith in God, I grew up believing in God and praying for a good husband, until now I am always asking myself why me Lord. I am very disappointed for coming over here. And it's even more hard for me because I didn't grew up calling me crazy, evil woman that you know in your hearts that you are just seeking all the truth, I am very devastated. I left him many times already and he ask many chances, for my stupidity I came back, I was really value the marriage but until now I am not happy with him at all. I wanna leave him so bad but I have my baby which is really hard for me to leave that easy. I open to him everything, and he said he didn't say that, this, nor didn't do anything. I had to go back forcely with a reason that He left us in the other county because his kid wasn't there for us and he thought too that back year 2008 the world is coming to an end and he needs spend time with his kid and his family, so I had to find a place to live and I went to another state and I brought the baby, I don't have idea this law even friends, we don't have idea. He filed me child abduction, so I had to go back or i'm going to prison, I can't fight, I don't have nothing as in zero, I don't have friends that we can stay, or otherwise I can lose my baby. And my friends told me, we cannot help you financially, you don't have choice you have to go back. I was very sad, very devastated, don't know what to do.

I am trying to be happy everyday, but it's just gonna explode anytime. Ever since, he never there for me, I have been telling him that I missed my family so much and the lifestyle I used to have, all his saying that what starts, all of a sudden you are in tears, there is really something wrong with you, he never there for me when I am down. I don't know why I came back, I should not coming back to him anymore.

I have a question for everybody, man or woman. "When your wife giving birth in the hospital and the baby just born that day, and your wife asking, can you stay for couple hours, i need your help with the baby co'z I had c-section and at the same time breastfeeding the baby, I was begging him to stay and even in tears, he has a kid from his second marriage, and then "he said I can't stay with you because my son it's gonna get jealous and I wanna spend time with him" this words tearing me apart, it was killing me, he was the only husband/person in this country that I can rely on." Until right now I am still devastated to think what I've been through with this man.

I have been asking for divorce many times and I think he don't want it because mostly of the stuff in the house it's in my name, eg. electricity, bank (any bank denied him to open), etc. I don't know exactly what's the reason, he never tell me.

He had a lot of lies, he deceived me so I will come in this country. I found out that this guy is very screwed up, with his past marriages, lots of debts. I have been trying to ask him for a divorce, he don't want too even if he knew that I don't love him anymore. He is hurting me so bad through lies, emotional and verbal. One time, we had argument and this time, I have lots of anger with him and hurts, and he called me I am a devil woman after I said I hate his kid and he called to his friends, and they all talk and he spray an oil on me and saying stop devil right now, I was crying so hard like a baby, a husband that don't understand your feelings of what I've been through, it was killing, tearing me apart.

He has a kid from his previous marriages and this kid drives me crazy everyday, i am an adult but this kid is just very bad all the time, because in the first beginning this kid grew up without discipline and he put his kid priority all the time and even harmful to our baby, it's not nice to hate people and I hate this kid with a passion, he knows how to lie to death just like his father. This kid I caught him peeing on the baby's mouth, forcing to put food on the mouth, put coins in his mouth, gush!

Right now, my greencard expired soon and he don't wanna file taxes and I need that for my immigration and I am thinking that to do it myself but he insist, no don't do that, I will do that.

My life is so complicated and miserable, if you are in this situation, what do you do including a baby? what legal actions you can do? Plans?

I am so hopeless right now, devastated, I don't have peace in my mind everyday, I have been very very very sad, how to fight this challenge of mine and get up again.

Please open your opinion for me and thanks so much in advance whoever leave a feedback on my post.

God Bless to All!!!

[L179 1]

sorry to hear about your situation, but listen and follow your heart!

[verunka 0]

To OP. I am sorry for what's happing to you. Your baby is the most important person in your life. I do not know much about charity and church help, from time to time I read here that if one has problems they can contact some church and people there will guide them to help. Try to go to as many churches as you can, people there are nice and will help you to find what you need, possibly some place to stay until you will be able to live on your own. Or you can go back to your home country. You are strong, you can do ti on your own!!!

I understand how hard it is to stay with person you married no matter what. But now you have your baby, new life. Do it for yourself and your safety. You will be happy again.

I came here too, believing in marriage and to my husband, we do not have kids, for many reasons, he wants divorce, I strongly disagree, but now I know that he really does not want to be with me. It hurts a lot, my heart is about to explode, marriage means everything to me. Well, it is his choice. After he applied for divorce he really got greedy, taking more than he had, all we made together, all I worked for so hard. But there is nothing I can do. I just believe I will be happy again with somebody who really believe in marriage, not just say it. And I am going home, to be with my family and friends.

You can make it!