Strip bar- how would you react??

[gimygirl 0]

I would be irate if he was staring at another woman fully clothed...

I hate the idea of my husband looking at other women semi-naked. Because I have such low self-esteem about my own body, I'd worry for weeks afterwards that he would be thinking of them every time something intimate happened. Be it porn, a stripper or a hot, fully clothes woman walking down the street. It's not that I don't trust him 109%, but I don't have that personal level of security which allows me to be ok with that.

i'm sorry that you feel like this about yourself, christina ... but it's really not healthy to try and control someone with your insecurities. your husband married you because he loves you and everything about you!

[ChristinaM 0]

I know Monique, and I know that my husband loves me. Since he's not a fan of strip clubs (gets embarrassed, doesn't know where to look, that kinda thing!) it's not an issue in our relationship and I have never tried to manipulate him or control his behaviour. It just makes me very uncomfortable thinking about it.

Putting on 50 pounds in the last year hasn't helped either

[Anyta Holland 1]

I know Monique, and I know that my husband loves me. Since he's not a fan of strip clubs (gets embarrassed, doesn't know where to look, that kinda thing!) it's not an issue in our relationship and I have never tried to manipulate him or control his behaviour. It just makes me very uncomfortable thinking about it.

Putting on 50 pounds in the last year hasn't helped either

I know exactly how you feel... I have put about 30 myself....

Does not do any good on your self esteem...

[gwenneh 7]

I've put on enough over the past few summers; yeah, it does do a number on one's self esteem. I do find it a shame that women feel that they are somehow being compared to strippers-which are an illusory construct of a woman, paid to be ideal and guaranteed average off the stage-and coming up short. You guys are real. The strippers are paid to be fake. Saphyre, Raevyn, and Ysobelle (or whomever) are all personas, they don't exist outside of that square of stage, they're not someone your husband can take home and cuddle, and-I GUARANTEE this-not as beautiful as any of you. Period.

[YnaYeBa0808 0]

i dont mind he can look all he wants. the strip bar scenario over here is way too tame compared to the stripbars from where my fiance lives in. even massages there have happy endings... i really dont mind if he goes with friends then im pretty much okay have fun and let me know what happens. i get funny stories when he comes back. it's really not his cup of tea (stripbars) but he goes along with friends once in a while...

i know im not perfect and i know for a fact that my physical aspects arent even at par with the strippers. it's eye candy... that's all there is to it... i trust my fiance and he knows that i do, that's what's important.

[Isabel 0]

I think most men do it (if in a relationship) to have some fun with their buddies. That is sort of theri entertainment from the past. Feel like a single man again. HAha....as I said men are weird.

I

[gwenneh 7]

I've put on enough over the past few summers; yeah, it does do a number on one's self esteem. I do find it a shame that women feel that they are somehow being compared to strippers-which are an illusory construct of a woman, paid to be ideal and guaranteed average off the stage-and coming up short. You guys are real. The strippers are paid to be fake. Saphyre, Raevyn, and Ysobelle (or whomever) are all personas, they don't exist outside of that square of stage, they're not someone your husband can take home and cuddle, and-I GUARANTEE this-not as beautiful as any of you. Period.

[*Robert* 2]

This would be grounds for a divorce for me.

I love my husband too much to end it over something so stupid.

I'm glad to see that!

To get divorced over something as trivial as that, means you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. My God!

As for strip clubs, they are overrated, overpriced, and don't do anything for me at all. I went to them when I was younger with my Navy buddies, and a couple after getting out ot the Navy, but that's it, and that was a LONG time ago. You wouldn't catch me dead in one today.

With that said, I know for a fact my wife wouldn't have a problem if I did go, which is to her credit. She is secure in the fact that I love her and would never do anything to hurt her or cheat on her, as I feel the same about her.

I would be irate if he was staring at another woman fully clothed...

Or in this case... A LOT!!!

Sounds like someone has some MAJOR issues...

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

As for strip clubs, they are overrated, overpriced, and don't do anything for me at all.

Definitely concur on them being overpriced. As for doing anything for me, when I was much younger (18-20), they were amazing, LOL. When I went a few times with friends in my upper 20s, pretty boring .. except for that one time in a strip club in Cancun... that was awesome.

[*Robert* 2]

As for strip clubs, they are overrated, overpriced, and don't do anything for me at all.

Definitely concur on them being overpriced. As for doing anything for me, when I was much younger (18-20), they were amazing, LOL. When I went a few times with friends in my upper 20s, pretty boring .. except for that one time in a strip club in Cancun... that was awesome.

hahahah Same here. It's funny how as you get older certain things don't have the same affect!

[luvaLimey 0]

I would be irate if he was staring at another woman fully clothed...

erm... just because a man is looking at another woman doesn't mean he wants to f#ck her.

[Veiled Princess 1]

To get divorced over something as trivial as that, means you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. My God!

With that said, I know for a fact my wife wouldn't have a problem if I did go, which is to her credit. She is secure in the fact that I love her and would never do anything to hurt her or cheat on her, as I feel the same about her.

Sounds like someone has some MAJOR issues...

It has nothing to do with me trusting him or being afraid he would cheat on me or that he may think those women are more attractive than me or any of that stuff. I'm not insecure about myself and I know my husband chose me when he married me and why. However, it is MY view that going to a strip club and looking at naked women is not something trivial. It is something very bad and I wouldn't stand for it. I also wouldn't go to look at naked men. This isn't something that is likely to come up in our marriage so it's not a problem.

[gwenneh 7]

It has nothing to do with me trusting him or being afraid he would cheat on me or that he may think those women are more attractive than me or any of that stuff. I'm not insecure about myself and I know my husband chose me when he married me and why. However, it is MY view that going to a strip club and looking at naked women is not something trivial. It is something very bad and I wouldn't stand for it. I also wouldn't go to look at naked men. This isn't something that is likely to come up in our marriage so it's not a problem.

You keep saying it's "bad". What you don't say, which would help us all understand your point of view, is why you think that.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

It has nothing to do with me trusting him or being afraid he would cheat on me or that he may think those women are more attractive than me or any of that stuff. I'm not insecure about myself and I know my husband chose me when he married me and why. However, it is MY view that going to a strip club and looking at naked women is not something trivial. It is something very bad and I wouldn't stand for it. I also wouldn't go to look at naked men. This isn't something that is likely to come up in our marriage so it's not a problem.

You keep saying it's "bad". What you don't say, which would help us all understand your point of view, is why you think that.

Gwen,

We're all entitled to our beliefs. And you know as well as I do that allowing yourself to fall into the trap of justifying your personal beliefs and choices on VJ is... well, bad

[Veiled Princess 1]

You keep saying it's "bad". What you don't say, which would help us all understand your point of view, is why you think that.

I think it's a pretty well known fact "why"