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Polyamory: The Next Sexual Revolution?

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As I said, business contracts have a very clear, easily expressed goals and moreover the business exists 'outside of' the contract - marriages have multiple goals that are difficult to express and the marriage is the contract.

As far as the law is concerned, marriages do not have "multiple goals". Marriage is a legal

contract that confers a number of clearly defined benefits, including health-care benefits,

social security, pension benefits, tax advantages, hospital visitation rights, inheritance,

custody of children, etc., all of which could be extended to polyamorous marriages.

What he said, MC...

I agree with the bolded of course, but I don't really see how these benefits can be simply and easily transferred into the multi partner concept.

A marriage between two people is necessarily narrowly defined as the two people equally agree that this is the partner that they wish to enter into the contract with and that contract between the two people can not change in character because entering into this contract necessarily exludes any other party entering the contract (legally).

However, as soon as there are multiple partners the balance of the contract fundamentally changes. If there are for example 3 partners who enter into a 'contract' the first decision they have to make is a totally new one, does this contract dissolve automatically should one or more of the 3 partners choose to involve one or more extra partners into the marriage? Is there a limit to how many partners can enter the contract? How is that decided? As I see it, in order to preserve the integrity of the idea that the contract allows for all permeatations, the door must necessarily remain open to allow for additions/subtractions from the contract but how can this be legally allowed for while giving each partner equal rights to preserve the character of the contract when each addition/subtraction necessarily changes the dynamic of the relationship?

I just don't see how you can maintain, legally, equality for all parties. In other words the option to agree/disagree to each new addition/subtraction from the contract and keep all the participants equally satisfied with the resulting contract. It presupposes a level of agreement that is rarely, if ever, demonstrated.

Refusing to use the spellchick!

I have put you on ignore. No really, I have, but you are still ruining my enjoyment of this site. .

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Agreed, with corporations the expectations are fully tangible - making money (for the most part - of course there are non-profits but those also have one very clear goal).

Marriage means so many different things to different people. Managing the expectations and goals of two people is hard enough, how much harder to manage that of a group? There are so many permutations possible and for every new person brought into the marriage there are new expectations and a change in obligations. How for example does one define when a new person can enter into the 'marriage'. Can all parties only enter at the beginning of the contract (as with traditional two person marriage contracts) or can 'new' members arrive and leave at any time? Do all partners have an equal footing in the contract? Is that necessarily so? With a two person contract that is relatively simple to express and enforce but with more than two it's almost impossible to quantify.

While an open ended relationship is perfectly possible and acceptable - there are many models to choose from - the legal contract that is marriage is not so flexible.

I don't see any easy way to make it so either.

MC I hope you will forgive me for disagreeing but....

I have known of and I am sure others have too, people who going into business for many reasons and money is not always it.

Take two people who open a cozy cafe' often this little place is an expression of themselves and their talent.

Money simply measures "if" they can continue on in this hobby.

I have known of other business partners who had conflicts as one person was so committed to quality, it often times became a drain on the bottom line... and the business relationship... though I have known this combination of seemingly clashing personalities to be good as it brought balance.....just like it does in many marriages :)

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"Those people who will not be governed by God


will be ruled by tyrants."



William Penn

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Agreed, with corporations the expectations are fully tangible - making money (for the most part - of course there are non-profits but those also have one very clear goal).

Marriage means so many different things to different people. Managing the expectations and goals of two people is hard enough, how much harder to manage that of a group? There are so many permutations possible and for every new person brought into the marriage there are new expectations and a change in obligations. How for example does one define when a new person can enter into the 'marriage'. Can all parties only enter at the beginning of the contract (as with traditional two person marriage contracts) or can 'new' members arrive and leave at any time? Do all partners have an equal footing in the contract? Is that necessarily so? With a two person contract that is relatively simple to express and enforce but with more than two it's almost impossible to quantify.

While an open ended relationship is perfectly possible and acceptable - there are many models to choose from - the legal contract that is marriage is not so flexible.

I don't see any easy way to make it so either.

MC I hope you will forgive me for disagreeing but....

I have known of and I am sure others have too, people who going into business for many reasons and money is not always it.

Take two people who open a cozy cafe' often this little place is an expression of themselves and their talent.

Money simply measures "if" they can continue on in this hobby.

I have known of other business partners who had conflicts as one person was so committed to quality, it often times became a drain on the bottom line... and the business relationship... though I have known this combination of seemingly clashing personalities to be good as it brought balance.....just like it does in many marriages :)

Partnerships really don't work. I have started half a dozen bussinesses, all successful. The first five I had to either shut down, or walk away, because my partner either had cold feet, or took a path I considered unethical. My latest venture has been going 16 years, as a sole proprietor. Nobody to blame but myself.

Back on topic, personal relationships work best when parties are free to come and go without commitment, and for multiple partners, that almost has to be axiomatic. This whole marriage thing is still new to me, and I haven't quite accepted it in my mind completely yet, even with the piece of paper. But the wife is devoted, and that will make it work, at least for now.

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping. But there is a legal way to swap wives, you divorce yours, and she divorces hers, and you two get married. Done all the time.

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping. But there is a legal way to swap wives, you divorce yours, and she divorces hers, and you two get married. Done all the time.

True unless you owe the government! :devil:

"I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."- Ayn Rand

“Your freedom to be you includes my freedom to be free from you.”

― Andrew Wilkow

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I saw something on this polyamory thing before.

I think there is no reason and no need to change current laws to allow all of them to marry each other. They're already paired off and married for the most part so they're already getting the benefits that come with legal marriage, as were the people I read about the first time I read about it. Why change what works for them and us?

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping.

You thought wrong.

Never tell a person what's wrong without telling them, what's right. Is it a form of a community life where everything is shared, including your partner? Still messing around in my book.

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Legal issues aside, how do you properly nurture a relationship with more than one person? It takes a conscious effort to nurture just one relationship, I don't see how you can do that with more than one person. Unless it's all about sex and then the people involved think "it is love"

"shivers at the thought of doing laundry for more than one man* :help:

:dead:

Saludos,

Caro

:lol:

Caro needs to attend Len's School of Wifely Emancipation .... no such thing as doing the laundry :no:

Even if we take turns, some day it would be my turn and that would be the suck :P

Unless they are all my laundry making- house cleaning - dish washing slaves...who also have good jobs and buy me stuff all the time...

wait a minute, this could work :devil:

Saludos,

Caro

***Justin And Caro***
Happily married and enjoying our life together!

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping.

You thought wrong.

Never tell a person what's wrong without telling them, what's right. Is it a form of a community life where everything is shared, including your partner? Still messing around in my book.

It's not "messing around", Nick, if you're in a committed relationship with more than one person.

Polyamory is defined as living by the principle that it is possible to love more than one person

at a time without deception or betrayal.

Many people find this concept difficult to swallow because our culture generally holds the belief

that having a sexual partner in addition to your spouse is "betrayal."

biden_pinhead.jpgspace.gifrolling-stones-american-flag-tongue.jpgspace.gifinside-geico.jpg
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Legal issues aside, how do you properly nurture a relationship with more than one person? It takes a conscious effort to nurture just one relationship, I don't see how you can do that with more than one person. Unless it's all about sex and then the people involved think "it is love"

"shivers at the thought of doing laundry for more than one man* :help:

:dead:

Saludos,

Caro

:lol:

Caro needs to attend Len's School of Wifely Emancipation .... no such thing as doing the laundry :no:

Even if we take turns, some day it would be my turn and that would be the suck :P

Unless they are all my laundry making- house cleaning - dish washing slaves...who also have good jobs and buy me stuff all the time...

wait a minute, this could work :devil:

Saludos,

Caro

you'd just need a bigger bed. and maybe a walker :lol:

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

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USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping.

You thought wrong.

Never tell a person what's wrong without telling them, what's right. Is it a form of a community life where everything is shared, including your partner? Still messing around in my book.

It's not "messing around", Nick, if you're in a committed relationship with more than one person.

Polyamory is defined as living by the principle that it is possible to love more than one person

at a time without deception or betrayal.

Many people find this concept difficult to swallow because our culture generally holds the belief

that having a sexual partner in addition to your spouse is "betrayal."

Exactly.

Allow me to get on a pedestal just for a moment to say:

most people are too petty and close minded (aka frightened to death of anything different) to even begin to comprehend such consenting arrangements between progressive people.

It's the (insert expletive here) church that decided people (a man and a woman) should marry and then at some point state (aka government) took it on as well.

Women were property, don't ya know?!!

And still....hahaha!

(Please do read some Emma Goldman and so many others....if anyone is truly interested.)

Dowries, lands, etc....it was a business transaction and a family (aka lots of children were encouraged) starting transaction.

Oh yes we've come a long way, baby, and that road is always being fought for.

It's all so silly really.

All of it.

Being married and/or not being married and having multiple partners.

Whatevah!

In then end we're all in the same place: dead.

Did you enjoy life while you were here?

And did you do it without hurting anyone (aka being malicious/calculating/conniving/etc.)?

That's the point.

Enjoy each day,

Look at your own life and what you want to create.

Leave others be.

Yes....great advice for me and all of you.

:star:

SpiritAlight edits due to extreme lack of typing abilities. :)

You will do foolish things.

Do them with enthusiasm!!

Don't just do something. Sit there.

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Tied the knot (legal ceremony, part one) – January 26th, 2008 (kinda spontaneous)

AOS: Mailed V-Day; received February 15th, 2007 – phew!

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Over & out, Spirit

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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping.

You thought wrong.

Never tell a person what's wrong without telling them, what's right. Is it a form of a community life where everything is shared, including your partner? Still messing around in my book.

It's not "messing around", Nick, if you're in a committed relationship with more than one person.

Polyamory is defined as living by the principle that it is possible to love more than one person

at a time without deception or betrayal.

Many people find this concept difficult to swallow because our culture generally holds the belief

that having a sexual partner in addition to your spouse is "betrayal."

Exactly.

Allow me to get on a pedestal just for a moment to say:

most people are too petty and close minded (aka frightened to death of anything different) to even begin to comprehend such consenting arrangements between progressive people.

It's the (insert expletive here) church that decided people (a man and a woman) should marry and then at some point state (aka government) took it on as well.

Women were property, don't ya know?!!

And still....hahaha!

(Please do read some Emma Goldman and so many others....if anyone is truly interested.)

Dowries, lands, etc....it was a business transaction and a family (aka lots of children were encouraged) starting transaction.

Oh yes we've come a long way, baby, and that road is always being fought for.

It's all so silly really.

All of it.

Being married and/or not being married and having multiple partners.

Whatevah!

In then end we're all in the same place: dead.

Did you enjoy life while you were here?

And did you do it without hurting anyone (aka being malicious/calculating/conniving/etc.)?

That's the point.

Enjoy each day,

Look at your own life and what you want to create.

Leave others be.

Yes....great advice for me and all of you.

:star:

:thumbs::dance:

biden_pinhead.jpgspace.gifrolling-stones-american-flag-tongue.jpgspace.gifinside-geico.jpg
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The act of polyamory has changed into a legal subject? Thought it was just messing around like wife swapping.

You thought wrong.

Never tell a person what's wrong without telling them, what's right. Is it a form of a community life where everything is shared, including your partner? Still messing around in my book.

It's not "messing around", Nick, if you're in a committed relationship with more than one person.

Polyamory is defined as living by the principle that it is possible to love more than one person

at a time without deception or betrayal.

Many people find this concept difficult to swallow because our culture generally holds the belief

that having a sexual partner in addition to your spouse is "betrayal."

Exactly.

Allow me to get on a pedestal just for a moment to say:

most people are too petty and close minded (aka frightened to death of anything different) to even begin to comprehend such consenting arrangements between progressive people.

It's the (insert expletive here) church that decided people (a man and a woman) should marry and then at some point state (aka government) took it on as well.

Women were property, don't ya know?!!

And still....hahaha!

(Please do read some Emma Goldman and so many others....if anyone is truly interested.)

Dowries, lands, etc....it was a business transaction and a family (aka lots of children were encouraged) starting transaction.

Oh yes we've come a long way, baby, and that road is always being fought for.

It's all so silly really.

All of it.

Being married and/or not being married and having multiple partners.

Whatevah!

In then end we're all in the same place: dead.

Did you enjoy life while you were here?

And did you do it without hurting anyone (aka being malicious/calculating/conniving/etc.)?

That's the point.

Enjoy each day,

Look at your own life and what you want to create.

Leave others be.

Yes....great advice for me and all of you.

:star:

Sounds like a wonderful life, but facts are what they are and they indicate ... while you are "enjoying" your freedom of different women, the kids from those relationships are much more likely to pay and pay and pay.

Now tell me Free-Spirit, of all the countries in the world, which one best represents your ideas of how this should all work?

type2homophobia_zpsf8eddc83.jpg




"Those people who will not be governed by God


will be ruled by tyrants."



William Penn

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Sounds like a wonderful life, but facts are what they are and they indicate ... while you are "enjoying" your freedom of different women, the kids from those relationships are much more likely to pay and pay and pay.

Those are not "facts" - it's your closed mind talking.

biden_pinhead.jpgspace.gifrolling-stones-american-flag-tongue.jpgspace.gifinside-geico.jpg
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