Scared/sad/excited...

[Cristy 4]

Now that we are in the system and on our way to being together it is really hitting me. I am leaving my home, my family, my country, all I have known.

It is so exciting to think of a new life with my husband and how wonderful it will be. I am so happy to be starting our new lives together.

At the same time I will miss my family, my kids will miss their grandma.

And I will miss my country. I have a great deal of pride saying I am Canadian. There are so many wonderful things about Canada that I will miss. Healthcare is a biggie, I am freaked out about the American health care system.

I won't miss the winters, that is a huge bonus to moving to Arizona! lol

It scares me a bit coming from a small city and moving to the Phoenix area. So many people, so many streets to get lost on lol.

I am not sure how often I will get home, maybe every 2 yrs, that makes me sad.

Has or is anyone else going through these feelings?

[Fandango 1,440]

Christy, I'm sure everyone who has ever made this move has felt the way you do....it's completely natural.

I myself moved short-time over to England for a few years, and I felt the same way...even though my move was only temporary.

The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time, try to focus on what you are gaining rather than what you are giving up. There will be a huge period of adjustment!

And who knows, maybe Grandma can get a winter home by you or something....with Love, all things are possible.

Good luck!

[Marilyn. 340]

yup, I did...

I moved from a small town to Los Angeles... that was a big adjustment that I am still adjusting too

I really miss my family back home and it was really hard to leave them, specially my younger sibs who I helped raise a bit.... But I was soo ready to move here to be with my hubby.... I haven't seen my family in about a year but hopefully in April we are going to go for a visit....

I miss Canada but I love that there are so many places to go and things to do around here.....

there is one thing I don't like... when we start having kids, our kids won't get to know my parents very well.... that makes me sad... I know my dad really wants to be a grandpa and I think he is going to be a great one and I would love our future kids to get to know all thier grandparents... I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it

Edited February 13, 2006 by MarilynP

[Oly 0]

Hi Cristy, im feeling exactly the same now that im so close to leave my country and family, of course i want to be with my love and start a new life with him but at the same im afraid i could get depressed for being far away from my family, i love them so much, specially one of my nieces that i raised I just hope i could be strong enough to leave them. I know my fiance will support me too, i think his love will help me.

OLY AND DIDIER

[Cristy 4]

Only 3 people? lol

Thanks for sharing, I am glad I am not alone.

[aussiewench 9]

Only 3 people? lol

Thanks for sharing, I am glad I am not alone.

hahahahaha nah you are not alone cristy, I hear ya too. My leaving is getting closer all the time and the closer it gets the more I think about leaving my kids and my grandkids, as well as the rest of my family. I have gown up in a huge family (64 first cousins on my moms side alone) and we are all very close. Gonna miss it all like crazy. Yep I know there will be an adjustment and hubby knows that too. Still scary though.

[arwensun1965 1]

I have just 2 weeks left here in England and yes it is so scary, when you have been in one place for so many years it is hard to even think about giving it all up, but isn't that what we do when we start this journey of ours? I am leaving behind 3 kids who really do not want to come with me who are happy in there lives, i've started to cry more often, worry more often, stressing myself out more often then i've ever done before, i've involved them in every part of this journey, they have met Jon and love him to bits and will be joining us once or twice a year depending on what they want to do. We all have this fear of the unknown in us and I expect that to be there for quite a while. Once we have gotten used to our surroundings that will go (I hope it does anyway). I will keep intouch with my family daily, Jon know's this, Jon also know's that I will need a lot of Love and support which he already give's to me. I have questioned on weather I am doing the right thing or not, I have spoken to the children about it especially my eldest, they have all said go for it mum, we know where you are and who you are with lol made me feel like the child, infact if I think about it they are being more adult about this then I am. I know it is still going to hurt very much when I do go but I also know I will be seeing everyone again.

Janice

[aussiewench 9]

I am waiting to see what my eldest daughter does this time around. She is 28 but a big kid at heart and when I left to go to the US this time last year she had a terrible fear I wasnt coming back. She was holding me so tight at the airport and I was saying 'are you ok' and I'd get a little shake of the head. I finally got her to let go about 5 mins before I had to board. The next thing she had dropped to the floor and was clinging to my legs hahahaha I had to drag her across the floor. She didnt care if she was making a complete spectacle of herself, only that her momma was leaving. Hopefully we have moved past that

[dmd01708 3]

I am leaving the UK in 5 weeks today and I am moving from a london borough with about 260k people in it to a place about the same size with only 2k people in it.

I am leaving my sister and her new baby (who wont know me this time next year) and a nan who is 86 years old and in poor health.

I know that when I get on that plane in March that I am taking my son away from everyone that loves him and I could possibly be seeing my nan for the last time.

I am lucky that my mum and dad have a business in the US so they will be visiting me 4 times a year but it just aint the same.

I know that I am doing the right thing though as I love my husband and I know in my heart that once we have got settled it will be like home.

My husband has informed me that the whole village are looking forward to our arrival and that his family are just as excited as we are that we chose to live there in NY.

Daily phone calls and emails are something I have made my family promice not to do as I know that if they call every day I wont be able to get on with making our house a home, so I have told them everyother day I will call one of them and drop the others a quick "hello" email.

The fact that we have sorted my sons schooling out (he is 13) before we leave for the US will help him be more at home as he wont have time to ponder, plus his best NY mate will be in his grade.

I hope that your life in the US is a happy one

Donna

[ktun 0]

Oh Cristy....and everyone else who faces the BIG MOVE soon. Good luck. Yes it will be hard, but mostly it gets easier.

I've been here for 5 months now moving from greater London to a town on the Iowa/Nebraska borders. It is a big change and at times I've hated it, but as time goes on and I know how to get to stores and such like by myself it has become easier. I'm fortunate to has been welcomed very well by my husband's friends and family and we go out to lunch every Saturday with friends, sampling different Omaha restaurants. That has really helped make me feel more 'human' too. I was very fortunate that I was able to visit for 3 months last spring, and got to know the place and people a bit then. I returned to England at the end of May and Craig joined me there on 4th July. We stayed there until September. I do feel blessed that we had this time as I was able to get used to the idea of moving to America and Craig was able to get to know my family and appreciate what I was having to leave behind. Like someone else said, I'm leaving grandparents in their late 80s behind who are in poor health and I dont know if I'll see them again. We visited my Grandma a couple of days before we left and she and I were both in tears, an emotional goodbye indeed as we've always been very close. We both prefer England, but finances dictated being here ie. we have a house here, and dont in England amongst other things.

Leaving my Mum and Dad at the airport in September was the most awful experience. My Mum waited in the car as she couldnt bear to see me go and my Dad (who is a strong man) was welling up, and I was sobbing. But Craig was a pillar of support and got me onto the plane. His Dad met us at the airport in Omaha which really helped too. He was pleased to see us back, and our friends took us out for lunch a couple of days after we arrived which helped get over the shell-shock a bit.

The phone and computer have really been a godsend in keeping in touch. My parents came to Chicago after Christmas and we had a great time with them there. We'll be going back to England in April for a couple of weeks, so I'm delighted about that and we'll be able to see everyone.

I was getting along pretty well until this past weekend when I spoke to my Mum and it turns out that they are selling their house and moving out of the London area. It was the house I grew up in from the age of 4, and I suddenly found myself overcome with emotion. I guess it hit me that next time we go back. I wont be "going home" but going to a strange place and house. My childhood bedroom wont be there anymore (not that I really liked it or anything) and it has really upset me. Kinda stupid I guess.

Well good luck to everyone, it is hard, but you're not alone here. That's the great thing about VJ, you know that other people really do understand what you're going through since they are there, or have been there, themselves.

Kate

[munchkins 0]

I remember when my daughter made the move to be with her USC hubby and it just about broke my heart, only good thing was I lost loads of weight with fretting

Anyway now it is going to be our turn and after 19 years of missing her like crazy we will be as a family again, when we make the move. Only trouble is my son, who has returned from Australia with his partner and the new baby, well he's one now, are living in the south of England, about 300 miles from us but it will be so hard to leave because of them.

It will also be hard to leave my brothers who are older than me and one is nearly 70!! , he thinks he is never going to see me again

After 60 years in the Uk it has always been home no matter where I have travelled too and yet I can't wait, easier to say than do I suppose but I think once we are finally on the plane and have left the ground, the great adventure will begin, and what an age to start one

Hope you all settle and have wonderful new lives, after all, with airflight now, it's not as though anyone is a million miles away (although I know at times it will feel like it) Take each day as it comes and you will all be fine

[savagehagan 0]

Hey I just wanted to add, I'm feeling a mixture of excitement and fear as well. I'm leaving central London in three months for Portland, Oregon and at some points I can't wait to go and start our new life and get things moving, find a place to live, get new furniture, settle into our new home etc. At other times, I can't help but think of all the things I'm going to miss, my friends, family, knowing where to go for what I want and need. I know I'm going to feel totally helpless to start with, the language (well, accent!) barrier to overcome searching for clothes stores I like, figuring out where's the best place to get food, drink, books, music etc. But I guess the whole thing is part of the great adventure and at least I have my husband to lean on and help me out - when he moved to London, he didn't know a soul here, so he learned everything the hard way! He didn't know he'd be staying quite this long though

Just to let you know there's this forum which is run by a US/UK couple and although they also offer good advice and guidance for the visa process, there's also a lot of information about moving to, and setting up in the US, and cultural differences. And they're a great bunch who are always quick with a kind word for anyone who's feeling down

[Kajikit 65]

I'm sure everyone wrestles with feelings like that before the big move... it's a huge change to make in your life. But if you ask people a few years later, almost everyone would say it was worth it

[Cdnwmn 0]

I'm going to sound like a downer. You can skip over my post if you want. I've been on here a few times mentioning how I've felt.

I've been here just over 3 1/2 years now. Other than the job situation in this state and in my opinion a little backwards in the way of thinking, it's not all that bad living here. I find most of the people here very friendly and polite. I've been to the dentists and doctors here - level of care has been wonderful, no complaints. My husband has a good job in government.

Back to family issue. I miss my daughters very much. They are back in Canada - ages 23 and 26 now. I was very close to them and before meeting my husband, I had been a single parent for several years. My parents are back there too and not getting any younger. They have no one to take care of them should anything happen healthwise as my daughters live in other cities and need to live their own life. We all live 2200 miles apart from each other.

The healthcare issue: My husband has coverage through his job but it still costs a fair amount of $$$s out of pocket. Should either of us or my son become seriously ill, we are basically screwed.

As I've mentioned in the past on here, I'm hoping my husband will consider the move back to Canada when he retires in 6 years time. He has nothing to keep him here after that. He has no children from a previous marriage and he's not close to his two brothers.

My son and I cannot afford to fly back home each year. We didn't make it to Ontario until July of last year and that was after I had been married for 3 years. I don't know when we'll get back again.

What you are feeling right now is normal. There are those that can adjust, those that will never adjust. In my case, I miss my family dreadfully and I worry about paying for healthcare later on down the road if we run into serious problems.

That's just me though. Good luck on your move and in future.

[almaty 19]

I'm going to sound like a downer. You can skip over my post if you want. I've been on here a few times mentioning how I've felt.

I've been here just over 3 1/2 years now. Other than the job situation in this state and in my opinion a little backwards in the way of thinking, it's not all that bad living here. I find most of the people here very friendly and polite. I've been to the dentists and doctors here - level of care has been wonderful, no complaints. My husband has a good job in government.

Back to family issue. I miss my daughters very much. They are back in Canada - ages 23 and 26 now. I was very close to them and before meeting my husband, I had been a single parent for several years. My parents are back there too and not getting any younger. They have no one to take care of them should anything happen healthwise as my daughters live in other cities and need to live their own life. We all live 2200 miles apart from each other.

The healthcare issue: My husband has coverage through his job but it still costs a fair amount of $$$s out of pocket. Should either of us or my son become seriously ill, we are basically screwed.

As I've mentioned in the past on here, I'm hoping my husband will consider the move back to Canada when he retires in 6 years time. He has nothing to keep him here after that. He has no children from a previous marriage and he's not close to his two brothers.

My son and I cannot afford to fly back home each year. We didn't make it to Ontario until July of last year and that was after I had been married for 3 years. I don't know when we'll get back again.

What you are feeling right now is normal. There are those that can adjust, those that will never adjust. In my case, I miss my family dreadfully and I worry about paying for healthcare later on down the road if we run into serious problems.

That's just me though. Good luck on your move and in future.