The thread locking is out of control

[Y's_habibitk 2]

There was a thread a few years ago about wearing wedding rings to the AOS interview - whether or not NOT having rings would be bad. The poster in that case did not own a ring.

I made a rather innocuous comment about if they were worried about it, just go to a pawn shop for a set of rings which could be returned later. My thoughts (thought police reference of yours) were simply about budgeting.

Yodrak made a rather abrupt comment about my suggesting illegal behaviors. I then had to explain myself, which he accepted but still pointed out to me that I should be careful what I suggest.

In other words - you never know who is reading and what they will take from discussions. I was mildly alarmed at the tone of our discussion the other day. I realize we can't turn off peoples brains, but I see no reason to give them 'something to think about'. I feel this way because of the lesson taught to me.

Strange lesson to learn. Anyone who thought that was illegal should have their head examined, and it's incredibly unfortunate that this incident had any impact whatsoever on the advice you hand out. It's actually pretty good advice, and if I ever run across the question I'll probably suggest it myself. (I'll credit you if you like ) It's not illegal, and it is at worst a slight bit of misdirection, which--let's face it--sometimes is necessary in this process. And if the interviewer were to say "hey nice rings, where'd you get them?" then you certainly wouldn't be lying by saying that you bought them at the pawn shop.

IMHO, people shouldn't be taught on VJ. People should learn to think for themselves. Sort bad advice from good, learn the good members from the bad, get to know what works and what doesn't. To call into question something as simple as a suggestion to buy some rings from a pawn shop before AOS is just disengaging the thought process and turning one's brain off.

I was thinking the same.

well put.

[scandal 951]

Scandal? thought you waz in Brazil?

had to add something here

Yep. I am in Brazil. VJ madness reaches all the way down here too

[NArocks 13]

Scandal? thought you waz in Brazil?

had to add something here

Yep. I am in Brazil. VJ madness reaches all the way down here too

How are the kids? Hope all is well, I am learning so much from these informative posts. We lock certain threads however then some are left open with major baiting ( usually by the same person ) , sometimes it hard not to take the bait that is for sure. I do enjoy VJ and would never want the job of a Mod cause they is always getting slammed. I take my licks and keep going though.

Go hang out with the kids Scandal. When do you come back??

[rebeccajo 14]

There was a thread a few years ago about wearing wedding rings to the AOS interview - whether or not NOT having rings would be bad. The poster in that case did not own a ring.

I made a rather innocuous comment about if they were worried about it, just go to a pawn shop for a set of rings which could be returned later. My thoughts (thought police reference of yours) were simply about budgeting.

Yodrak made a rather abrupt comment about my suggesting illegal behaviors. I then had to explain myself, which he accepted but still pointed out to me that I should be careful what I suggest.

In other words - you never know who is reading and what they will take from discussions. I was mildly alarmed at the tone of our discussion the other day. I realize we can't turn off peoples brains, but I see no reason to give them 'something to think about'. I feel this way because of the lesson taught to me.

Strange lesson to learn. Anyone who thought that was illegal should have their head examined, and it's incredibly unfortunate that this incident had any impact whatsoever on the advice you hand out. It's actually pretty good advice, and if I ever run across the question I'll probably suggest it myself. (I'll credit you if you like ) It's not illegal, and it is at worst a slight bit of misdirection, which--let's face it--sometimes is necessary in this process. And if the interviewer were to say "hey nice rings, where'd you get them?" then you certainly wouldn't be lying by saying that you bought them at the pawn shop.

IMHO, people shouldn't be taught on VJ. People should learn to think for themselves. Sort bad advice from good, learn the good members from the bad, get to know what works and what doesn't. To call into question something as simple as a suggestion to buy some rings from a pawn shop before AOS is just disengaging the thought process and turning one's brain off.

Yodrak knew what he was talking about. So did I.

[TBoneTX 46,474]

We bought our wedding rings "early" in Ecuador (for proper use later, of course), and paid less for both than I had paid for C.'s puny engagement ring in the U.S. Pawn shops, consignment shops, and resale stores of all types can render fantastic bargains, for sure.

Back more to the topic, I believe that the moderators do an outstanding job individually and collectively, and that we "regular" members have no clue what is really involved. The times when I've overreacted in a "report" to them, I received probing questions to get to the root of my beef (which helped clarify my thoughts for me), and I came to the conclusion that action by the moderators would be overkill. The method was very Socratic, and I appreciate such an approach. My point is that NO moderator has EVER flown off the handle, to my observation; their responses, in my opinion, have been considered, even to the point where I could describe them as wise.

Regarding the tone and content of posts in general, I am very happy when people avoid taking their OT-Forum brashness and (what I consider) rudeness into the mainstream fora.

Thought for the day: Socrates died from an overdose of Wedlock, si man.

[baron555 934]

I would just like to address the issues that led to my decision to lock the thread under discussion:

*First, it was in the K-1 forum. It was not an Off Topic thread no matter how much people seemed to think it was;

*Second, the OP asked for advice about what format to use on a letter. He did not say anything anywhere about a lawyer, whether he had one, whether he should have one, whether lawyers are good or not - the OP did not even mention lawyers;

*Third, the thread went 'off topic' on the 4th response where GaryandAlla immediately introduced the topic of lawyers - not that the OP had ever said anything about a lawyer, just asked for advice about the format for a letter - and Gary told him to fire this so far non-existent lawyer. Mox's post followed shortly saying don't fire the lawyer, and the thread completely turned into a discussion of the pros and cons of using a lawyer. It continued in that vein with others discussing why they did and didn't like lawyers with tempers beginning to fray and quickly became a discussion more appropriate for Off Topic than the K-1 forum.

*Fourth- we have been asked to curtail the overflow of OT behaviour in the Upper Forums. By now, this thread was an OT topic that bore no resemblance to the question asked nor had any business being in the K-1 forum. If it had been in OT I would have issued a warning about tone and kept the thread open. Since it was in the K-1 forum and no longer on topic (and had not been for quite some time), I closed the thread.

If any of the participants wish to start a thread on the value of using or not using a lawyer in OT they are certainly free to do so but the K-1 forum was not the proper place for this particular discussion, nor was the discussion in answer to the question asked by the OP.

Actually, I lbelieve that the OP did pop back in and stated that he did have a lawyer. If I am correct, then Gary's assumption was correct.

[TBoneTX 46,474]

Actually, I lbelieve that the OP did pop back in and stated that he did have a lawyer. If I am correct, then Gary's assumption was correct.

That in NO WAY makes the ACT of assumption correct. We're best served by reading accurately and interpreting literally.

[Jenn! 918]

IMO the publicly critizing the mods is out of control in this forum. seems everytime someone doesn't get their way, we get a new 'the mods are wrong' thread.

Agreed.

After having read this thread, ironically enough, I'm surprised it hasn't been closed. I can't say I frequent tons of message boards, but I believe that moderation here is way more transparent than the norm and criticisms of moderation are actually allowed. That certainly doesn't make the mods' job any easier, and I think members have gotten the idea that they are somehow entitled to a say about how things are done. Start your own message board if you want to control moderation.

[Ban Hammer 13,771]

IMO the publicly critizing the mods is out of control in this forum. seems everytime someone doesn't get their way, we get a new 'the mods are wrong' thread.

sometimes ya just gotta consider the source.

[mox 298]

IMO the publicly critizing the mods is out of control in this forum. seems everytime someone doesn't get their way, we get a new 'the mods are wrong' thread.

Agreed.

After having read this thread, ironically enough, I'm surprised it hasn't been closed. I can't say I frequent tons of message boards, but I believe that moderation here is way more transparent than the norm and criticisms of moderation are actually allowed. That certainly doesn't make the mods' job any easier, and I think members have gotten the idea that they are somehow entitled to a say about how things are done. Start your own message board if you want to control moderation.

The 'ol "America, love it or leave it" argument, eh? My ex-wife used to say "if you don't like the way I drive, then drive yourself." Which would, of course, solve the problem from the perspective of me not dying when she decides to make a left turn from the far right lane, but it hardly fixes the problem for her or anyone else who happens to be in the car or in the immediate vicinity when she's driving. I'm technically capable of starting my own message board (although probably socially incapable of building a user base), but it wouldn't solve the problem at VJ. Plus, I don't want to start my own message board, I like it here. I like the members, I like the moderators, and I like the community.

Nobody should be above a little public criticism. Dialog is the best way to make positive change. The admin and moderators should welcome this opportunity to engage with the membership, and the fact that this thread wasn't closed immediately indicates to me that this is exactly what is happening.

[almaty 19]

some good points on both sides..in fairness, the Mods have a thankless job..and do this to help the site..i do not envy them and think, that they do their best to make the site flow and not turn into an ex-pats free for all...

also, brother mox and others have made good points, too..

[Chica Yeyé 41]

IMO the publicly critizing the mods is out of control in this forum. seems everytime someone doesn't get their way, we get a new 'the mods are wrong' thread.

Agreed.

After having read this thread, ironically enough, I'm surprised it hasn't been closed. I can't say I frequent tons of message boards, but I believe that moderation here is way more transparent than the norm and criticisms of moderation are actually allowed. That certainly doesn't make the mods' job any easier, and I think members have gotten the idea that they are somehow entitled to a say about how things are done. Start your own message board if you want to control moderation.

The 'ol "America, love it or leave it" argument, eh? My ex-wife used to say "if you don't like the way I drive, then drive yourself." Which would, of course, solve the problem from the perspective of me not dying when she decides to make a left turn from the far right lane, but it hardly fixes the problem for her or anyone else who happens to be in the car or in the immediate vicinity when she's driving. I'm technically capable of starting my own message board (although probably socially incapable of building a user base), but it wouldn't solve the problem at VJ. Plus, I don't want to start my own message board, I like it here. I like the members, I like the moderators, and I like the community.

Nobody should be above a little public criticism. Dialog is the best way to make positive change. The admin and moderators should welcome this opportunity to engage with the membership, and the fact that this thread wasn't closed immediately indicates to me that this is exactly what is happening.

I completely agree with this. If anyone is above criticism, then this has absolutely no meaning -- tis called dictatorship

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

A thread was threatened by Mother Moderator for being in bad taste.

I appreciate your opinion, and respect your position, but out of consideration for our moderation team I would like to ask that you not purposefully encite or attack them like this.

They deserve it. The mod team today is full of control freaks with temper issues and thin skins. They are nothing like the early moderators of this site, who were far superior in conduct and temperament.

[mox 298]

So I was just looking to see who this "Steve" character is, and zomg Steve is User ID number 1.

Avert your eyes members, Dead Cthulhu has risen from his sleep in R'lyeh!!!!!!!!!

That is not dead which can eternal lie,

And with strange aeons even death may die.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

(you are all in so much fsck'ing trouble now...)

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Should I be afraid ????