straight talk about sex

[Passing.star 0]

I hope this isnt too forward a subject, but frankly I dont know where else to talk about this at.

Me and my wife got married in January 2008. The day of our marriage, she was going to go "home" which was 45 minutes away, so she could teach at her school the next day. The only reason she didnt do that is because it affected me so much, on our wedding day, that I cried.

We are together now. To this day I have not seen her naked. When we make love, the lights all have to be out. She wont let me touch her sexually unless we make love, and then only on her breasts. It really affects me....... We go round and round about this.

Is it cultural? Am I an idiot to be so affected? It is affecting our relationship.

Am very serious with this topic.

Thanks

Where did you meet your fiancee? Some women from provinces or small town are conservative type. Knowing teacher in rural areas , they are very conservative. They are timid and shy it is not easy for them to be naked , especially when it is their first time to explore sex in bed. She is uncomfortable... just be patience.... educate her until shyness over come.

But it doesn't mean that a girl came from a remote area, she's shy in sex after few times of their encounter with the husband. I guess that's weird! The first time or second time you'll be in bed with your bf or husband I guess it's understandable to be uncomfortable but few times, I guess you can bare it all and be naughty . Anyways, to the Op the thing is ask her and talk to her is the only way you will know why she is like that to you.

[JSVP08 3]

I hope this isnt too forward a subject, but frankly I dont know where else to talk about this at.

Me and my wife got married in January 2008. The day of our marriage, she was going to go "home" which was 45 minutes away, so she could teach at her school the next day. The only reason she didnt do that is because it affected me so much, on our wedding day, that I cried.

We are together now. To this day I have not seen her naked. When we make love, the lights all have to be out. She wont let me touch her sexually unless we make love, and then only on her breasts. It really affects me....... We go round and round about this.

Is it cultural? Am I an idiot to be so affected? It is affecting our relationship.

Am very serious with this topic.

Thanks

Two possibilities:

1) She is inexperienced, and you need to be patient, or

2) She is repelled by you, and married you for a reason other than finding you sexually attractive.

Either way, I don't think either of you were ready to get married yet. Tough situation, with a lot of tough choices ahead for you. It is definitely not cultural. A third possibility exists she may have deep psychologiical issues, and needs professional help.

I think it can be cultural and just because a handful of people from the same country say it is not, may not necessarily be the case. There are cultures within cultures and since I don't know her background and experiences I cannot comment more than I already said.

Uh, have you been to the Philippines lately? Didn't you know that the latest study even shows that Filipinas are gettig younger and younger when they start having sex? Haven't you seen any Filipino movies lately? There was like a sexplosion here dating a couple of years (or a decade) ago. Just because you don't want to believe it does not mean it is not true. Just because Filipinos are still not open to talking about their active sexual life does not mean they are not doing it. I mean no offense, but you need only to walk all over Manila to know that sex is happening with all them 'short-term motel rooms' being rented out and all the sex toys being sold in the streets. I seriously doubt that the rest of the Philippines hasn't caught with the sexual liberation movement yet.

And no, Filipinos are not repressed sexually nor have they ever been. I'm not saying that Filipinos are promiscuous or sex addicts, but they're not so innocent or repressed anymore when it comes to sex either.

Just my opinion and I don't mean to be argumentative. You are entitled to your opinions too, of course.

at least in the city and where i grew up. everyone is curious about sex and have bf/gf soonest they hit "teen".

[Señor Bonito 2]

The OP should have not used this forum to air his dirty laundry. I imagine this matter to be subject for discussion with Dr. Phil or maybe even with Dr. Ruth!

Anyway, Brian, I believe your wife might not care much for you, unless some traumatic experience befell her in the past. For instance, as you have posted in a previous thread, your wife's parents died in a ferry boat accident when she was very young and this event could have given her a devastating blow in the noggin.

At any rate, you can always file for divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment and indignities that make your life intolerable.

I concur with everything you said, Linda, especially on the option of filing for divorce. Judging from some of the OP's posts and topics in other past threads, it appears that the relationship may be headed for doom.

Nevertheless, if Brian can discard his qualms about sending money to his wife's relatives in the Philippines, the missus might think twice about her aloofness to having sex.

[JoBri 548]

Thanks for all the replies. Actually I dont give a rip what anyone thinks of me posting here. It is of concern to me and I decided ahead of time I would take the helpful remarks and be thankful that based on some remarks I dont have to tolerate the people I would not wipe my butt with.

Will take all into consideration.

This is the end to the massages I will receive on this thread. Again, thanks for the helpful comments.

[Ban Hammer 13,333]

is it too late to suggest getting her drunk?

[o0pink0o 3]

is it too late to suggest getting her drunk?

thanks for starting my day with a laugh lol!

[venus644 0]

Thanks for all the replies. Actually I dont give a rip what anyone thinks of me posting here. It is of concern to me and I decided ahead of time I would take the helpful remarks and be thankful that based on some remarks I dont have to tolerate the people I would not wipe my butt with.

Will take all into consideration.

This is the end to the massages I will receive on this thread. Again, thanks for the helpful comments.

Maybe some of here would not believe and think it is weird.... but i have an office mate in the province that even up to this time... she doesnt like the lights on when they make love. She is uncomfortable... she doesnt like that his husband would see her naked body. Her reason is... she has no beautiful body... she is so insecure. And believe it or not.... she told us that she never , never see his husband bird ( vice versa ). They are married for 12 years , could you immagine that?

There are really cases like this in some filipina ladies in remote areas. So, maybe... better explore her to the world of wilderness slowly until she use to it.

[mybaby 0]

Am I an idiot to be so affected? It is affecting our relationship.

Am very serious with this topic.

NO, you're not an idiot, INTIMATE is normal and very IMPORTANT in marriage. it is one of the thing to express your love to her and to be more close emotionally. without it you are living with your sister or relative.

Yes I agree with lotus. It's really a very serious thing and being intimate to a partner is important to a relationship especially to a husband and wife, I don't want to to be mean but if she doens' want to be touched by you unless your having sex don't you think her feelings towards you isn't that strong?

I don't want to to be mean but if she doens' want to be touched by you unless your having sex don't you think her feelings towards you isn't that strong?

Personally I don't believed with this line, because I also sometimes doesn't want to be touch by my husband when I am concentrating something, but it doesn't mean I don't love my husband because I do very much, it's just not in a right time when he do such

OP, give her time, maybe she is just stress on her job, talk to her about it, problems always has a way to be solve, Why not try to be sweet and ask her to go shower with you. (naked)

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I thought this was a joke. Why oh why would people post such personal stuff online??? Come on!

[Ban Hammer 13,333]

I thought this was a joke. Why oh why would people post such personal stuff online??? Come on!

don't be judgemental! or else i'll tell everyone about your love affair with

starbucks coffee!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I thought this was a joke. Why oh why would people post such personal stuff online??? Come on!

don't be judgemental! or else i'll tell everyone about your love affair with

starbucks coffee!

[bulaklak 0]

Why not? ,it's his personal life and it's his choice; and he have the right to express or ask any advice here as long as he is comfortable with it.. unless there is a rule about it on Not to post such a personal issue.

the o.p. post his personal issue because he's wondering and wanted to know if the behaviour of his wife is normal or there might be something to do with the cultural thing. he didn't critized his wife.

I don't think his wife was exposed too much,,,he didn't even post her picture here. not even a name.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Why not? ,it's his personal life and it's his choice; and he have the right to express or ask any advice here as long as he is comfortable with it.. unless there is a rule about it on Not to post such a personal issue.

the o.p. post his personal issue because he's wondering and wanted to know if the behaviour of his wife is normal or there might be something to do with the cultural thing. he didn't critized his wife.

I don't think his wife was exposed too much,,,he didn't even post her picture here. not even a name.

It is just not very adult behavior, to expose your sex life online. Really, are you THAT thick?

[bulaklak 0]

Why not? ,it's his personal life and it's his choice; and he have the right to express or ask any advice here as long as he is comfortable with it.. unless there is a rule about it on Not to post such a personal issue.

the o.p. post his personal issue because he's wondering and wanted to know if the behaviour of his wife is normal or there might be something to do with the cultural thing. he didn't critized his wife.

I don't think his wife was exposed too much,,,he didn't even post her picture here. not even a name.

It is just not very adult behavior, to expose your sex life online. Really, are you THAT thick?

I'm not sure by that,,,but if you think his post is too much for you're taste, I guess you should stop coming and reading his post. ( his post are for adults only) edit:

Edited July 27, 2009 by lotus101

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Why not? ,it's his personal life and it's his choice; and he have the right to express or ask any advice here as long as he is comfortable with it.. unless there is a rule about it on Not to post such a personal issue.

the o.p. post his personal issue because he's wondering and wanted to know if the behaviour of his wife is normal or there might be something to do with the cultural thing. he didn't critized his wife.

I don't think his wife was exposed too much,,,he didn't even post her picture here. not even a name.

It is just not very adult behavior, to expose your sex life online. Really, are you THAT thick?

I'm not sure by that,,,but if you think his post is too much for you're taste, I guess you should stop coming and reading his post. ( his post are for adults only) edit:

You poor, poor "woman".... -- apparently you were not raised within the limits of good manners and composure. Oh well, some are raised by wolves.