What happens if he files for divorce?

[TracyTN 237]

Get yourself to a safe place first and worry about immigration after that. Just get out of there ASAP and report back when you are safe. There isn't a green card on earth worth this.

[KarenCee 3]

i know it just sometimes i tell myself he's just in a bad move and will not happen again. he's a nice person but his mood fluctuates a lot and one never knows. i continue to hope we can work things out.

Honey, men who will do that aren't worth it. I speak from experience. Not trying to give you domestic advice but just wanted to give you the viewpoint of a woman who has been the victim of DA.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sister Merlion, first things first: SAFETY. Get yourself to either a shelter, of with someone you can trust. Get the works for a restraining order, even if temporary. Please stay safe

[NArocks 13]

Merlion hopefully you are out of that house, please stop by and let us know how it is going

[MikeMc 38]

My marriage is worsening by the day. I wrote in this section before but thought things were going to get better. It's getting worse. Mu husband just slapped me because I did not want to have sex as he was trying to push himself in me. I have my biometric appointment already set up. What do I do now? He threatens divorce.

Next time he hits you, report him.

Usually if you let someone get away with it, then they will do it again and again.

You report it, and it's on his record, something the previous women might not have done (if there was previous woman and next time he tries to find a fiance in another Country, he's going to have a hard time getting approved.

So two ways to look at this, one it shouldn't affect you're green card status at all if you file via VAWA, and two, you're saving another person later on from the same thing that you are going thru now.

And I'm sorry he's like this, but most men that hit their wives, usually were raised in that environment and think it's ok or just another way of showing love. I'm sorry, but it's not acceptable. And will usually take alot of counseling for him to stop. Of course he's going to apologize and be all sweet and lovey dovey to you until he thinks your not going to leave him, then out of the blue, you make him mad again and he hits you again, then it starts all over again.

So the questions you need to ask yourself right now, do you want him beating on your kids too or him beating on you in front of your kids? That is the most likely outcome of this scenario and the odds of your childen turning out the same way as him are high as well.

Edited July 28, 2009 by MikeMc

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sorry, but I sincerely hope there is no "next time". #######. Sister Merlion needs to leave NOW, and get to a safe place NOW.

[NArocks 13]

Next time he hits you, report him.

Usually if you let someone get away with it, then they will do it again and again.

You report it, and it's on his record, something the previous women might not have done (if there was previous woman and next time he tries to find a fiance in another Country, he's going to have a hard time getting approved.

So two ways to look at this, one it shouldn't affect you're green card status at all if you file via VAWA, and two, you're saving another person later on from the same thing that you are going thru now.

And I'm sorry he's like this, but most men that hit their wives, usually were raised in that environment and think it's ok or just another way of showing love. I'm sorry, but it's not acceptable. And will usually take alot of counseling for him to stop. Of course he's going to apologize and be all sweet and lovey dovey to you until he thinks your not going to leave him, then out of the blue, you make him mad again and he hits you again, then it starts all over again.

So the questions you need to ask yourself right now, do you want him beating on your kids too or him beating on you in front of your kids? That is the most likely outcome of this scenario and the odds of your childen turning out the same way as him are high as well.

This is not the first time so this is already the next time, However Merlion has not returned let us hope she is well........

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Agreed with NArocks.... I pray she is ok.

[Merlion@ 0]

Agreed with NArocks.... I pray she is ok.

Hello!I wanted to thank everyone who had supportive comments. I am okay..relatively okay. Someone brought up my other message in February and then I went to a women's shelter and did the intake..they gave me a hotel room for 2 weeks and put me on stand by for a bad at the shelter. The problem was that the shelter and the hotel (very cheap and trashy and lots of homeless people outside-i did not mind it just that it wasn't much safer) were very, very far from work and school. It took me about 3 hrs to go to work. I went back hoping we'll work things out and we did for a while. So, I wasn't passive or anything it just that sometimes other realities get in the way. Today he has told me that he knows the law and it will take me 5 years to apply for citizenship. At this point I have no desire to apply for citizenship since my priority is to get out of this. I told me not to ever hit me again or I call the police and he says "that's what you waiting for ###### to raise my hand on you so you can VAWA me." I want peace and going through a process like VAWA is not want I ever imagine I would when I got married. So, yeah...he's moody and all. If I have my biometric appointment set up, can this application still go on as it is? Thanks again.

[NArocks 13]

Melion there was the Feb and one after that honey. This is what the third time? Sweetie no one and I mean No one has the right to treat you that way.

So you went back into this relationship? Merlion the most important thing should not be your GC it needs to be your well being honey. But if you are dead set on staying there there is nothing we can do to change how you are. I hope there does not come a day we are reading about you though.

Take it from my experience If he hits once he will HIT you again.......

Edited July 29, 2009 by NArocks

[Merlion@ 0]

Melion there was the Feb and one after that honey. This is what the third time? Sweetie no one and I mean No one has the right to treat you that way.

So you went back into this relationship? Merlion the most important thing should not be your GC it needs to be your well being honey. But if you are dead set on staying there there is nothing we can do to change how you are. I hope there does not come a day we are reading about you though.

Take it from my experience If he hits once he will HIT you again.......

I don't know really..perhaps you did a search and know better. My initial question though has been if I can still get my GC with this going on? I sent the paperwork..so that's really what I wanted to know. The rest, I'll deal with it at a personal level. For people who went through abuse, they will know that all this comes and go in a circle until there is a turning point when you get out. So, it is not uncommon and the lady at the shelter even explained to me these things. Thanks again.

[NArocks 13]

Just go to you BIO appointment and hope you do not get called for an interview especially with all this going on, if you sent enough eveidence of your relationship it should be good to go.

And yes I know all about the abuse cycle, but it CAN BE BROKEN that is the POINT you do not have to stay..

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Just go to you BIO appointment and hope you do not get called for an interview especially with all this going on, if you sent enough eveidence of your relationship it should be good to go.

And yes I know all about the abuse cycle, but it CAN BE BROKEN that is the POINT you do not have to stay..

Absolutely right. Sister Merlion, I am also an abuse survivor (not with my USC husband, but with a sick sonofabeeeeetch who got his kicks by kicking me in the face); so please, I beg of you; seek help. PM me is you need to vent, ok?

We are here for you

Do not miss that bio appointment chica.

[NArocks 13]

Can you fell the Luv sister Merlion? You are not alone in this thing. PLease the same for me PM if you need to talk chat or whatever. I can understand the difficulty of getting out of the relationship , However YOU do not have to stay, You are a strong person inside. Please let us know how you are doing.

[chizkeyk 0]

My marriage is worsening by the day. I wrote in this section before but thought things were going to get better. It's getting worse. Mu husband just slapped me because I did not want to have sex as he was trying to push himself in me. I have my biometric appointment already set up. What do I do now? He threatens divorce.

It seems like you are more concern losing your chance of having your Green Card that losing your life or your husband.

Just go on with your life, show-up on your Biometrics day, wait for your GC (if that matters a lot to you) then dump him right away.

It will all boil down to what you really want in life, the choice is yours... Go figure! You know your husband, and your real situation better than us. Goodluck.