Text vs. Phone & Video contact

[thongd4me 69]

It's interesting to see how so many people find phone contact so essential.

In the first few months since we met, I got a phone card and made a few calls,

but was not happy with the landline to cell sound quality. When we are face to

face we never have communication problems and we never had any in chat

or email either. If either one of us doesn't understand, we always ask

"what do you mean" and it's never taken as an insult or affront. I can't recall

any time when one of us has gotten angry about something the other said.

Suprise, yes, anger never.

We have the capability to do video chats but we rarely go into that mode

because it actually seems to get in the way of communication, because we

are looking instead of thinking.

When I started my online life I held from the beginning that communication

had to get top priority. I was in a marriage that had failed many years before

and I wanted to learn what the hell I was doing wrong. Knowing what she did

wrong was the easy part, but it takes deeper digging to see your own faults.

That's why when I chatted up females I wanted to know what their boyfriends or

husbands did to piss them off, not to mock them but to learn from their experience.

By what they left out and by their "tone" I could also discover what both men and

women were doing wrong and sometimes doing right.

My fiancee from Thailand was the first one who was open and frank about her

life on a whole different level than the others. For that I am eternally grateful

because it was her ability to communicate that drew us together. When people

meet in person or online in closer geographic proximity, it's often the visual

attraction and hormones that kick in and snuff out any/all warning signals from

the other senses (including the brain and the heart) that might serve to derail

a train that is ultimately going nowhere. By the same token I'm not saying the

exual element is unimportant. Good ex is the icing on the cake,

but if all you're consuming is the icing you might be in for a case of diabetes.

I see now that my main failure in my marriage was to put too much emphasis

on ex maybe because I was young and stupid. I also let her insult me

and thought that by not reacting or objecting I was "taking the high road" and

that eventually she would come to her senses because I was giving her such

a good example of how a person should behave. Lawyers have a word for

that: "condonation." Once you accept it it becomes the status quo.

So communication is the key.

If you communicate better on the phone so be it but that's not everybody's style.

[thongd4me 69]

My feeling is that given the choice between text and phone,

there is less chance of misunderstanding when using text (for us).

That may not be for everybody, because her level of English

is good enough to be a translator, whereas many of the other

wonderful ladies here may feel intimidated by typing out their

thoughts and feel better using the phone.

We will go into the interview with ZERO phone records

and I don't think either of us has to apologize for that,

since we will have plenty of chats & emails and my 4 trips

to Thailand with many pics.

[trinket 30]

My husband has always hated talking on phone. So phone was never the best mode of communication with us. Chats is what we did and we understood each other perfectly. Once you have spent so much time with someone (5 yrs for us) online and given both the parties have been honest with their intentions and character, it is not hard to know what the other one is going through just with the typed words.

So for us it was im chat which kept us connected those years. Oh, I did have a phone record (10-20 sec phone convo) but during my interview CO did ask how we communicate essentially, she asked some thing like-- So, do you guys talk on the phone all the time?

me--no, hardly, he hates talking on the phone

CO--So how you kept the communication

me--we talk every day online through chats for hours.

She never asked to see chats.

You might also want to send postal letters to each other, we had a lot of those with stamps ranging from 2003 to 2008.

[thongd4me 69]

My husband has always hated talking on phone. So phone was never the best mode of communication with us. Chats is what we did and we understood each other perfectly. Once you have spent so much time with someone (5 yrs for us) online and given both the parties have been honest with their intentions and character, it is not hard to know what the other one is going through just with the typed words.

So for us it was im chat which kept us connected those years. Oh, I did have a phone record (10-20 sec phone convo) but during my interview CO did ask how we communicate essentially, she asked some thing like-- So, do you guys talk on the phone all the time?

me--no, hardly, he hates talking on the phone

CO--So how you kept the communication

me--we talk every day online through chats for hours.

She never asked to see chats.

You might also want to send postal letters to each other, we had a lot of those with stamps ranging from 2003 to 2008.

Thanks for the reply.

We are just like you, have a long long long term relationship; thanks for the insight into the interview. :star:

[thongd4me 69]

My husband has always hated talking on phone. So phone was never the best mode of communication with us. Chats is what we did and we understood each other perfectly. Once you have spent so much time with someone (5 yrs for us) online and given both the parties have been honest with their intentions and character, it is not hard to know what the other one is going through just with the typed words.

So for us it was im chat which kept us connected those years. Oh, I did have a phone record (10-20 sec phone convo) but during my interview CO did ask how we communicate essentially, she asked some thing like-- So, do you guys talk on the phone all the time?

me--no, hardly, he hates talking on the phone

CO--So how you kept the communication

me--we talk every day online through chats for hours.

She never asked to see chats.

You might also want to send postal letters to each other, we had a lot of those with stamps ranging from 2003 to 2008.

Thanks for the reply.

We are just like you, have a long long long term relationship; thanks for the insight into the interview. :star: