Anyone have trouble from their ex's with taking your children to North Africa?

[nu7015 0]

My ex-husband has put our 10 year old daughter on a passport child abduction alert program to make it more difficult for her to obtain a passport. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and together for 4 1/2. I have been to Morocco 5 times and it breaks our heart that she has to be left behind.

The biggest reason my ex wants to put a stop on the passport is simply a play of power because I do have full legal and physical custody of our daughter. He says he doesn't want her to go to Morocco because his daughter shouldn't have to go to a country that is so dangerous.

I would love to hear anyone else's experiences that have children from previous marriages that have taken their children to Morocco or North Africa or even the Middle East and please share in detail the good and bad.

Also, has anyone had their ex oppose letting your children go to any of these countries and you were able to convince him to do so, and how did you convince him?

My ex is also concerned that our daughter won't like the food, won't be able to speak the language, will feel uncomfortable, will get sick from the food/water, get a disease, etc.

I know that she would be welcomed with open arms by my in-laws and they are waiting for the day they can meet her in person. She would have a better family there than she does here anyway, if even to visit once in a while. There are 10 siblings of my husband's and 20 nieces and nephews and many of them speak english.

It would be a wonderful experience for her culturally, family wise, and just in general in my opinion.

[amysaid 9]

My daughter's father was pretty hesitant when i first discussed bringing my daughter to Egypt for a visit. he was worried about the risks and dangers of a third-world country, worried about the impact of living in an Islamic society, things like that. he never actually voiced any concerns about the real risks -- illness from food, water, etc. i am not sure what caused him to change his tune, but i told him that he had trusted me to take care of our daughter for the last 5.5 years, and that if he trusted me to make the right choices for her then, then he should trust me to continue to make good choices for her now. I told him there was nothing wrong with taking a vacation to a foreign country, especially one like Egypt which has such a high volume of tourists each year.

I am 100% sure that my daughter won't like most of the food in Egypt, but she doesn't like most of the food here either, so it doesn't make much difference

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

I am 100% sure that my daughter won't like most of the food in Egypt, but she doesn't like most of the food here either, so it doesn't make much difference

LOL, Amy this made me laugh. Tariq is the same way! I though he would have grown out of it by now. By eight years old he is still the pickiest kid I have ever met! When I first brought Tariq to Egypt he was so happy to see McDonalds and KFC, lol!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

If the tables were turned, and your husband was taking your child to an unfamiliar country wouldnt you be upset? I dont know maybe Im a nutso with my baby but I would never allow it, under any circumstance. Sof and I have discussed this and have concluded that Zaid is not going to go to Jordan, or anywhere else for that matter, unless I am able to go or he is old enough to go on his own. There is too much crazy shite in this world, no way no how. lol Zaid unfortunately probably wont go to Jordan for a few years, I almost died from bacterial infections from food, water, etc. I wont put him through that.

[amysaid 9]

I am 100% sure that my daughter won't like most of the food in Egypt, but she doesn't like most of the food here either, so it doesn't make much difference

LOL, Amy this made me laugh. Tariq is the same way! I though he would have grown out of it by now. By eight years old he is still the pickiest kid I have ever met! When I first brought Tariq to Egypt he was so happy to see McDonalds and KFC, lol!

Yeah, I'm not sure how she'll do, I guess she will either get over it or starve I have about six or eight boxes of mac and cheese that i took with me last time, in preparation for this time, so we have some fall-back if there's absolutely nothing that she'll eat. But I anticipate hitting up McDonald's at least on her birthday to make her happy

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Yeah, I'm not sure how she'll do, I guess she will either get over it or starve I have about six or eight boxes of mac and cheese that i took with me last time, in preparation for this time, so we have some fall-back if there's absolutely nothing that she'll eat. But I anticipate hitting up McDonald's at least on her birthday to make her happy

Well hopefully you can find things she may like at Carrefour or Metro Market. Personally I like Carrefour better since it has a much larger selection (kinda reminds me of Super Walmart). Anyhow, I was able to get my son cereal bars, bread,cheese, lunch meat, chips, jelly (I think I brought my own peanut butter), fruit, pasta, spaghetti sauce and even chicken nuggets. What was super awesome was that, I couldn't believe I found HALAL gummy worms!

[amysaid 9]

Well hopefully you can find things she may like at Carrefour or Metro Market. Personally I like Carrefour better since it has a much larger selection (kinda reminds me of Super Walmart). Anyhow, I was able to get my son cereal bars, bread,cheese, lunch meat, chips, jelly (I think I brought my own peanut butter), fruit, pasta, spaghetti sauce and even chicken nuggets. What was super awesome was that, I couldn't believe I found HALAL gummy worms!

Whenever I mention Carrefour or Metro, Ahmed starts freaking out about the cost We went to both of them before, the first time I was there. It's really far from where we live, too, so not only does it cost us the price of a cab ride, but also the increased cost of food... I would like some lunch meat, though! Abigail eats sandwiches like crazy, so that might be a good investment. I am bringing my own peanut butter, too!

[Meriem_DZ 37]

The gov website states that One parent having sole legal custody can obtain the passport for the child.

• Appear in person with the minor
• Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
• Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:

• • Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent
  • Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent
  • Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)
  • Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)
  • Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child
  • Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent
  • Death certificate of non-applying parent

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

[amysaid 9]

The gov website states that One parent having sole legal custody can obtain the passport for the child.

• Appear in person with the minor
• Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
• Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:

• • Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent
  • Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent
  • Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)
  • Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)
  • Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child
  • Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent
  • Death certificate of non-applying parent

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

the non-custodial parent, or the parent that's not on the birth certificate, can still file kidnapping charges, though, if you leave the country with them without their consent, unless they have had their parental rights revoked, or gave them up.

[MrsAmera 41]

My situation is a little different as my son’s father had no relationship to either of us at all until recently (my son is almost 6) this is a sticky situation anyway as my husband is my son’s “father” having raised him since he was less than a year old. However because he was not involved I had no problems obtaining his passport (only my name was on the birth cert) and taking him to Morocco with me. He was young when we went, 1 ½ yrs old so there were challenges but he ate most everything with no issues. Now that his biological father has taken an interest, whole other thorn in my side, I specifically had it written into our custody agreement that I am allowed to take him to Morocco for up to 31 days with no written consent necessary. If we go for longer then it is needed. This was a tough point to push with him but I am glad that I did. Like I said our situation is different and my honest feelings are that he doesn’t really have a whole h*** of a lot to say about any of it since he’s been absent for the last 6 years and should merely be thanking his lucky stars at this point I even let him see my son. But, anyway.

Our other son will be 3 in December. Last year he went to Morocco with his dad for almost a month. I went at the end of the trip for about 10 days and flew back with them. This year he again went with his dad for a month. My husband came home but my son is staying until mid-August, when he will be coming back with his nanny who is in Morocco with her kids for the summer. I completely trust my husband and his family and feel that if something were going to happen it would happen with or without me present. My son is having a fantastic time getting to know his cousins and my husband’s family and there is no way that I would be able to take that extended of a vacation from work. We hope to send them both together in a year or two for the summer. I really think that at least for us it’s important for our kids to know both sides of their family. I know that I would trust either of them with my parents/ grandparents here and feel like my husband’s family deserves the same opportunity to get to know them.

[prince+angel 3]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation, its very difficult and your right each situation is different. If you dont mind me saying, your best bet is to file the passport for your child and U.S Passport Services will tell you what you need to do if they have any additional questions/request additional information.

I've never taken my daughter to Tunisia nor does she any interest in going but she is in Europe (Italy, France & England) right now on a student ambassadorship, her biological father is on her birth certificate & we have joint custody. So I HAD to have his consent (due to his name being on the birth certificate) in order to obtain her passport (May '09) - NO "if's ands buts", U. S. passport services would not approve her passport for any circumstance unless he agreed (or disagreed).

If his name is not on the birth certificate and you have legal documentation stating you have sole physical custody - submit all supporting documentation your childs passport application. However, Amysaid may be correct in stating the noncustodial parent filing an international kidnapping alert but you may need to check further on that.

[nu7015 0]

If the tables were turned, and your husband was taking your child to an unfamiliar country wouldnt you be upset? I dont know maybe Im a nutso with my baby but I would never allow it, under any circumstance. Sof and I have discussed this and have concluded that Zaid is not going to go to Jordan, or anywhere else for that matter, unless I am able to go or he is old enough to go on his own. There is too much crazy shite in this world, no way no how. lol Zaid unfortunately probably wont go to Jordan for a few years, I almost died from bacterial infections from food, water, etc. I wont put him through that.

I was more concerned when she was younger and I understand where you're coming from having a younger child. Because I only have experience with having this ex, I am worried when she is with him at all because he doesn't make the best choices for himself and especially with her.

The gov website states that One parent having sole legal custody can obtain the passport for the child.

• Appear in person with the minor
• Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
• Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:

• • Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent
  • Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent
  • Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)
  • Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)
  • Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child
  • Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent
  • Death certificate of non-applying parent

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

I have read and read about obtaining passports. The problem here is that he has filed our daughter with the Passport Child Alert Program and I will most likely need his consent. Otherwise, I could easily obtain her passport without him.

The gov website states that One parent having sole legal custody can obtain the passport for the child.

• Appear in person with the minor
• Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
• Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:

• • Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent
  • Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent
  • Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)
  • Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)
  • Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child
  • Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent
  • Death certificate of non-applying parent

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

the non-custodial parent, or the parent that's not on the birth certificate, can still file kidnapping charges, though, if you leave the country with them without their consent, unless they have had their parental rights revoked, or gave them up.

Yep!

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation, its very difficult and your right each situation is different. If you dont mind me saying, your best bet is to file the passport for your child and U.S Passport Services will tell you what you need to do if they have any additional questions/request additional information.

I've never taken my daughter to Tunisia nor does she any interest in going but she is in Europe (Italy, France & England) right now on a student ambassadorship, her biological father is on her birth certificate & we have joint custody. So I HAD to have his consent (due to his name being on the birth certificate) in order to obtain her passport (May '09) - NO "if's ands buts", U. S. passport services would not approve her passport for any circumstance unless he agreed (or disagreed).

If his name is not on the birth certificate and you have legal documentation stating you have sole physical custody - submit all supporting documentation your childs passport application. However, Amysaid may be correct in stating the noncustodial parent filing an international kidnapping alert but you may need to check further on that.

Unfortunately his name is on the birth certificate. He has had very limited contact with her for the past 7 years however. He wants more than anything to get power in any way he can and when he found out that he could use control with the alert program, he jumped at the chance. Now she will be on it until she is 18 unless he sends a notarized statement asking her to be removed.

[amal 4]

Interesting subject. I have a question. My son is 10. About a year after my ex and I divorced, I took an interest in visiting Australia. I had him sign a paper that he agreed that I could take my son "anywhere inside or outside of the continental united states" as long as he was given a 2 week uninterrupted visitation twice a year (upon his request). We both signed the release and had it notarized. The question is....Is this notarized document enough to get my son a passport? I am wanting to take him with us to Jordan next year ensha'allah so I'd like to get his passport as early as possible. Do u think I'd need any other supporting documents or will this one be enough?

[doodlebugg 10]

My daughters' father refused to let me take them to Egypt when I went in the summer but looking back it was a blessing in disguise. I probably could have fought him and won but seriously they would have hated it.

I think it depends on the age of the child. If they were much younger they'd probably enjoy it but now, no way. Not unless we're in a 5 star hotel with a pool and they can have chicken fingers and fries or regular American pizza (which I never ever saw there...their pizza that I had was made with philo dough) for meals. Plus I think it would be a total waste of money. Seriously they'd be miserable and I'd be out a couple grand.

When they're out of college though, I think that will be a different story. Then they'll be more mature and will have a genuine curiosity for how people in other parts of the world live. My oldest is starting to have this now but she's got a ways to go I think. In school last year they had an internet meeting with a school from South Africa and that really had her thinking for a good week about how good we have things here. Still though, normal plumbing in the bathrooms, air conditioning, being able to drink the water, etc. are all things I don't think she could go without at this age unless I forced her, which I wouldn't do.

Plus call me paranoid and I'm the first to admit that I am but with Cairo being so crowded I'd be freaking out every minute that someone might take one of them.

Edited July 26, 2009 by doodlebugg

[nu7015 0]

Interesting subject. I have a question. My son is 10. About a year after my ex and I divorced, I took an interest in visiting Australia. I had him sign a paper that he agreed that I could take my son "anywhere inside or outside of the continental united states" as long as he was given a 2 week uninterrupted visitation twice a year (upon his request). We both signed the release and had it notarized. The question is....Is this notarized document enough to get my son a passport? I am wanting to take him with us to Jordan next year ensha'allah so I'd like to get his passport as early as possible. Do u think I'd need any other supporting documents or will this one be enough?

You can call the Office of Children's Issues 1-888-407-4747 to ask directly (then again, if it's like USCIS, who knows if they know for sure what they're saying) OR you could just try and get the passport and they'll let you know if you need anything further. That notarized paper sounds like that is all that you need from your ex; unless they require the document to be current, such as, within the last 6 months or so. I have no idea. Also, if your ex is willing to just sign the passport form, then you're good to go. Having a notarized document from him is a good thing to have, for any parent leaving the US without the other parent of the child(ren).

It also depends on what country and what they require too. Some countries require a signed document from the other parent authorizing the traveling parent to take child X to country X from this date until this date.

The following is from Travel.State.Gov:

Both parents must provide consent authorizing passport issuance for a minor under age 16. See the scenarios below, and follow the instruction that best applies to your circumstance:

Both Parents MUST:

Appear in person with the minor

Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent

One Parent MUST:

Appear in person with the minor

Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent

Submit the second parents' notarized Statement of Consent (Form DS-3053)

One Parent

(with sole legal custody)

MUST:

Appear in person with the minor

Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent

Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:

Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent

Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent

Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)

Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)

Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child

Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent

Death certificate of non-applying parent

NOTE: If none of the above documentation is available, the applying parent must submit Form DS-3053 stating why the non-applying parent/guardian's consent cannot be obtained

My daughters' father refused to let me take them to Egypt when I went in the summer but looking back it was a blessing in disguise. I probably could have fought him and won but seriously they would have hated it.

I think it depends on the age of the child. If they were much younger they'd probably enjoy it but now, no way. Not unless we're in a 5 star hotel with a pool and they can have chicken fingers and fries or regular American pizza (which I never ever saw there...their pizza that I had was made with philo dough) for meals. Plus I think it would be a total waste of money. Seriously they'd be miserable and I'd be out a couple grand.

When they're out of college though, I think that will be a different story. Then they'll be more mature and will have a genuine curiosity for how people in other parts of the world live. My oldest is starting to have this now but she's got a ways to go I think. In school last year they had an internet meeting with a school from South Africa and that really had her thinking for a good week about how good we have things here. Still though, normal plumbing in the bathrooms, air conditioning, being able to drink the water, etc. are all things I don't think she could go without at this age unless I forced her, which I wouldn't do.

Plus call me paranoid and I'm the first to admit that I am but with Cairo being so crowded I'd be freaking out every minute that someone might take one of them.

I get what you're saying. My daughter may not be happy without all of the comforts of home but I do think that she would enjoy a lot of the time she'd be there. My husband's parents live in a nice home with 2 'american' style bathrooms. We would not go in the dead of summer because of the heat.

She is also a picky eater, but there is McDonald's and Pizza Hut and even Burger King now not too far away. Also, surprisingly, she likes the Moroccan food we make better than the regular stuff I make. My husband's mom/sisters/aunts/etc. are MUCH better at cooking than I am and we will definitely not go without good food 24/7. Plus there's so much to do, and she's looking forward to doing:

Seeing the wild monkeys

Seeing the people

Seeing the mountains

Seeing the ocean/beaches (Agadir, Esouria (sp), Tangier, etc)

Seeing the Sahara desert

Riding a camel

Seeing Rabat, Casablanca

Old ruins

Hot springs

There's so many things to spend our time doing!