Is this wife crazy?

[sarang 0]

Husband is on business trip for a week in foreign country. He goes to shopping mall to buy some drinks and food. On the way back to hotel by bus, he is not sure if he is on the right bus or not. He doesn't speak the language of that country. While he was on the bus, he was chatting with his wife by text messages. When wife hears that her husband is not sure if he is on the right bus or not, she asks, "Are you alone?" but he doesn't reply to that. However, the bus was just detouring so he arrived in hotel within short time after those text messages. He arrives at hotel and calls his wife to let her know he is okay.

Next day, in the afternoon, he textmessages to his wife, he is going to same shopping mall again to buy some drinks and food like yesterday and he says he is with his female co-worker (who often calls him when he is at home. she is new. Wife met her a couple of times) and he says, battery is low and cell phone is dead within few seconds. While he is out at shopping mall, his wife reminds the conversation she had before he leaves home. "You shouldn't take a piano lesson with male teacher. You should find grandmother teacher." Wife just started learning a piano by herself and realized that she needed a lesson. Husband says "Young male only thinks about sex." Wife asks, "male and female is all about sex?"Husband says, "Yes." Wife laughs and husband leaves home.

Husband comes home from business trip and he founds out wife is mad.

Husband says, "That is why I didn't say that I was with her the first day. My instinct was right. I thought, your question was suspicious so I didn't say anything about it. I knew you are going to accused me of having an affair or something."

Wife had asked a question, "Are you alone?" because she was worried. If he was with somebody who speaks the language, it is better she thought. But obviously, husband was thinking something else and even tells wife, "You are sociopath so I didn't say that I was with her. I knew you are going to twist the story. Wife says that she didn't like the idea that he is okay to go to someplace with female co-worker after woking hours away from home and husband should apologize to her. But husband say, "I am not sorry. don't see anything wrong with it. I didn't do anything wrong. I will do it same thing again if the situation comes. I didn't go out to dinner with her. I just ate dinner at food court and gelato because it was hot day."

Is the wife CRAZY to get mad in this situation?

[Krikit 1,165]

Anybody who has this much insecurity and need for control is crazy. Male/female social and business interaction is commonplace in the western world. If you cannot trust your spouse then that's a good indication that they shouldn't be your spouse because you are either not ready for marriage or they are untrustworthy.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

no, she isnt. The husband didnt handle the situation very well

[amberdima 6]

when the husband lies, the wife thinks he's hiding something. (and vice versa). don't lie.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Sounds to me that the husband is guilty and that is why he took the comment "are you alone" out of context...

[LA80 3]

And what makes her a sociopath?

I do not think she is crazy, worried for no reason, maybe...So, husband did not want his wife to have a young male piano teacher because all they think is sex?

[furiousng 2]

Even if he was not guilty, his responses paint him that way... She was well in line to react that way.

[Nik+Heather 121]

his female co-worker (who often calls him when he is at home.

There has been ONE circumstance where I have called any coworkers at home - When I was specifically asked to under certain work related circumstances when he couldn't be there.

Just because men and women work together doesn't mean there shouldn't still be a separation of work and home life.

Sounds to me that the husband is guilty and that is why he took the comment "are you alone" out of context...

+1 When I read the story, I thought that "are you alone" was out of concern for his safety - does she need to start googling for maps to help him out etc.

Actually, I think that texting her while he's out is a good thing. When Nik goes out, I only get an email saying he's going. Not constant conversation while he's out. I'm not complaining (nor saying I don't trust him). I'd think it would be a major turn off in the suspected affair if he was always texting with his wife while they were fooling around!!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Wow! Join date of April, 2005, and this is your first post. That's a long time to be lurking, Sue.

Sounds like there are some issues in the marriage that need to be worked out. I don't carry a cell phone, or other SMS device, so I don't have that problem. I don't even have a pager anymore. Just leave a message, maybe I'll call...

In the end, it's who you come home to that matters. You can always find a reason not to trust your partner. Let it go, and all that stress disappears, and maybe, just maybe, he/she has no reason to go looking anywhere else for peace and love.

Edited July 21, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[Got Charmed 0]

Drama, just plain drama

[Minya's wife 25]

Anybody who has this much insecurity and need for control is crazy. Male/female social and business interaction is commonplace in the western world. If you cannot trust your spouse then that's a good indication that they shouldn't be your spouse because you are either not ready for marriage or they are untrustworthy.

Sounds like neither spouse trusts the other much. The OP mentions that the husband didn't want the wife to have piano lessons that were given by a man because men only want sex, or something to that effect.

[Shad and Dani 3]

She's not crazy. It sounds suspicious!

[anka 1]

Since he was texting her as much as he did, I'd take that as a good sign. Not sure about the battery dying and the piano lesson remark, though. Honestly, this sounds like a lot of drama for two married people...

[Steve and Nor 0]

Since he was texting her as much as he did, I'd take that as a good sign. Not sure about the battery dying and the piano lesson remark, though. Honestly, this sounds like a lot of drama for two married people...

You know what? If you lie to your wife about simple things then later on you will lie about big things. You ought to tell your wife the truth but then you with held the truth from her_- that you were with someone else!!!

Yes, trust is a main ingredient in couples' relationship but you lied to your wife.

I agree with her; I will not allow my husband to go out alone with a female co-worker -ALONE! and in a place far away from home.

Dont call your wife sociopath. She deserves to know what you are doing, who you are with especially in foreign place. It would be much better if you told her the truth.

Be open and be transparent. Doesn't the wife deserve to know who is with HER husband?

[DanielParul 50]