How to go on...

[swoozygirl 0]

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

[Sam and Ben 2]

A lot of crossing off calendar days. A lot of making future plans, so those days seem to pass quicker.

A lot of hope that those days of separation will end one day soon.

[Ed+Cindy 1]

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

Wait, you mean leaving as in no more relationship, or leaving as in returning to their home country to wait the rest of the K-1 process out?

[AbbynSheryl 0]

think about the future together forever

keep ur self busy and it will pass soon

abby n sheryl

[Victor&Cory 1]

What you are going through is not easy by any means. We all have been through that painful moment. Problem is that there is no surefire method to make it less painful.

In my case I rate the moment we said goodbye as the worst moment of my life. I also tried to be strong but with no avail. In the 24 hours that took the trip back home I couldn't find a moment alone to let go all my pain. I thought I was going to die that day What we really did was a commitment to always stay in contact more than ever no matter how. And to immediately look forward for the future to the moment we spend the rest of our lives together.

My humble suggestion.......Don't hold that pain within you. If you have the need to cry simply do it. It will make you feel better.

PEACE.......................

[Kimbear 53]

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

Not quite sure what you mean by leaving...? And what process are you goign through? Maybe if you it would help us give you advice.

[rebeccajo 14]

What you are going through is not easy by any means. We all have been through that painful moment. Problem is that there is no surefire method to make it less painful.

In my case I rate the moment we said goodbye as the worst moment of my life. I also tried to be strong but with no avail. In the 24 hours that took the trip back home I couldn't find a moment alone to let go all my pain. I thought I was going to die that day What we really did was a commitment to always stay in contact more than ever no matter how. And to immediately look forward for the future to the moment we spend the rest of our lives together.

My humble suggestion.......Don't hold that pain within you. If you have the need to cry simply do it. It will make you feel better.

PEACE.......................

I really hope you don't mean that.

It's horrible to say goodbye for a time. But it's not a 'worst moment in your life' kind of thing - not by a long shot.

It carries with it a glimmer of tomorrow.

[Krikit 1,165]

Well, no one has died and no one has said goodbye forever. It's just a temporary separation. The nice thing about time is that it passes.

[rebeccajo 14]

Well, no one has died and no one has said goodbye forever. It's just a temporary separation. The nice thing about time is that it passes.

It stinks to be apart. Wes and I were horrible at it - just horrible. I don't understand how some of our members go on and on for months, sometimes years with no visits. We just couldn't do it. We knew if we didn't just go ahead and file the K1 and get things rolling, we were going to go broke on flights...............

It always hurt like hell everytime he left. I was always glad it wasn't me leaving him - I'm not sure how I would have gotten on the plane.

But were those 'worst days of my life'? Never. Especially now looking back on them - they are quite sweet memories.

Edited July 21, 2009 by rebeccajo

[Victor&Cory 1]

My friend. You'll have to know my life so that you know why I said that. Yes....it has a glimmer of tomorrow but in my list...in my life...that moment was the worst so far. I respect your opinion though. Please don't take me wrong.

PEACE my friends........

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

Buy an old house. Tear out all the plaster walls and ceilings, electrical wiring, plumbing. Install new hardwood floors, ceramic tile bathroom, insulation, wiring, plumbing, cabinets. Work your regular job 12 hours a day beginning at 6am, then work on the house until 12 midnight. 7 days a week. Live in the house while you work on it. Bathe in the lake. Eat sandwiches.

Write three emails every day, 3 phone calls. Visit him (her) 5 times during the process

You will be sweeping up the last of the mess when he/she arrives and you will be praying for AP at NVC so you have enough time to finish and prime all the new sheetrock. Worked perfectly for me except my tools were still on the porch when Alla arrived.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

What you are going through is not easy by any means. We all have been through that painful moment. Problem is that there is no surefire method to make it less painful.

In my case I rate the moment we said goodbye as the worst moment of my life. I also tried to be strong but with no avail. In the 24 hours that took the trip back home I couldn't find a moment alone to let go all my pain. I thought I was going to die that day What we really did was a commitment to always stay in contact more than ever no matter how. And to immediately look forward for the future to the moment we spend the rest of our lives together.

My humble suggestion.......Don't hold that pain within you. If you have the need to cry simply do it. It will make you feel better.

PEACE.......................

Let me guess...age 22?

I thought I would die the day I had to carry the sections of wardrobe to the upstairs bedroom (Oh yeah, build a 12 ft. cherry wardrobe while you remodel the house)

[Victor&Cory 1]

I haven't built a wardrobe that big but I sure have to deal with nasty contractors while building a 3 mile highway. Nasty indeed. hehehe....... Is like watching a National Geographic special show about hungry lions.

PEACE friends.............

Edited July 21, 2009 by Victor&Cory

[Nicoxcx 1]

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

Buy an old house. Tear out all the plaster walls and ceilings, electrical wiring, plumbing. Install new hardwood floors, ceramic tile bathroom, insulation, wiring, plumbing, cabinets. Work your regular job 12 hours a day beginning at 6am, then work on the house until 12 midnight. 7 days a week. Live in the house while you work on it. Bathe in the lake. Eat sandwiches.

Write three emails every day, 3 phone calls. Visit him (her) 5 times during the process

You will be sweeping up the last of the mess when he/she arrives and you will be praying for AP at NVC so you have enough time to finish and prime all the new sheetrock. Worked perfectly for me except my tools were still on the porch when Alla arrived.

All that work and you didn't bother to get the tools off of the porch! tut tut!.

To the OP...Find something to get caught up in. For me it was photography and years later I am standing with a Diploma in the subject all because I entered into a long distance relationship! my now husband also got caught up in fixing up our now house, focus on the good!.

I would say if saying goodbye to someone you would soon be spending the rest of your life with is the worst moment of your life, you are VERY lucky.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

The last day John was with me was hard. We tried to laugh and make every moment of the day fun, but the moments when we started packing his bags and going to the airport were the hardest... Laughing and smiling about the moments we had together and crying cause we will be apart 'again' was hard... We didn't say 'good-bye', we don't even say 'bye' it's always an 'I love you'...

But well when he came back we just had our daily routine back... We spend 10 to 15 hours daily together online on our cellphones, the computer 'when we get a chance', we call at least once or twice a week, we try to do the same things together at the same time like listen to the same song, cook together, oh and we always try to sleep at the same time [it's crazy to manage especially that we have 7 hours time difference between us!]... In other words we try to spend the whole day together.. I think It's a lot better than just talking a few hours at the end of the day and that's it.. Of course there are times that we get down and sad and the waiting feels more frustrating, but talking it together feels good...

I know your case it quite different than ours since you spent a year together before he had to leave.. It must be very hard.. But just hang in there.. Remember all the sweet memories that will keep you strong until you are back together again.. Spend a lot of time together.. Do things around the house.. Attend classes of learning a new language, an activity you like.. Do things for each other while you are apart... Send gifts, packages, snail mail, emails, IMs, ecards, etc just try to communicate and contact each other in every type of way... Stay positive and think how lucky you are to have found each other, that you do not have problems other couples here might have, that you got to spend a lot of time together and that there is a lot more time to come...

Good luck!!