Ohio boy sells his toys to help his family

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I answered in the poll section and here was my rationale:

As much as everyone is saying kids shouldn't be aware of the financial problems of a family, the reality is that kids are much more aware than adults realize. Kids pick up on things, as much as parents try to hide things from them. I would let my child sell his toys to give him back a sense of control. I know that probably sounds strange, but the reality is that when problems happen in a family, the kids often feel so out of control and powerless. So, I don't see selling the toys as a meaningless gesture at all, but rather something that would give the child some sense of control. That said, I would not want my child to sell all of his toys and would encourage him to keep some. For me, it is more about the child's mental health and empowering him.

Thank, God. A sane one among the loons.

I'm sure I'll get slammed too

Honestly, a lot of where I am coming from is due to my work .... I see a lot of kids whose parents think they know nothing about the problems in the family when in reality, the kids are painfully aware.

I hear ya. Kids are incredibly perceptive.

[Fandango 1,440]

Whatever happened to shielding kids from the bullsh!t of the world?

The same people who believe in 'shielding their kids from bullsh!t" are the same people who give all the little kiddies on the losing Little League team a trophy just for being 'stars'. They're the same people who go into the classroom and read the teacher a riot act if their little darling isn't picked for some achievement they didn't deserve. Bullsh!t is out there, just like real life. A good parent prepares their child for all of life, not just the rosy parts.

Well, I believe in shielding kids from things like financial difficulties, but I don't believe in trophies for all, yelling at teachers, etc.

I agree with preparing children for life's bumps, but I believe 11 years old is too young for this kid to not have a sense of security of where he's sleeping next week.

[Marilyn. 340]

I am sure the kid is aware that the little money he makes from selling his toys isn't going to help out a whole lot but he wanted to do something to help his family..

[Amby 490]

I just don't think a child needs to be burdened with the knowledge of money problems.

You think the father should wave goodbye to his son every morning, drive off and pretend he has a job? The boy is 11 yrs. old and probably pretty keen about the family's financial situation. A parent can only keep so much from their children before they figure out that money is tight.

Not true. My mother kept our financial situation as a child out of my head. I had no clue until I was older that things were tight.

She didn't act like we rich and rolling in it either, it just wasn't talked about. I spent my childhood being a child.

And this boy selling his toys just sounds like his childhood is being taken away because of his fathers financial burden. It shouldn't be up to your kids to carry that burden.

Do you think that should work in the opposite too? Like if a parent is loaded with money, they shouldn't let their kid know it either?

When I lived in LA my cousin went to school with a lot of kids who had celebrity parents. None of those kids knew any different. This one 6yr old came to the movies with us and he had a cell phone and a credit card. I was like #######? My aunt asked him why he needed those things and he actually gave us reasons.

I really don't think kids notice either way unless they see someone who is way worse off or way better off than they are.

So did your parents keep you from knowing how much money they really had? When did you realize that your family was much better off financially then your classmates?

I always had everything I needed and wanted. I grew up in an area where everyone else was pretty much the same financially. I always knew that, but I didn't start to "see" it until I was around 11-13 when people started calling me a snob when they found out what school I went to.

[SMOKE 1,426]

So you would refrain from buying lavish things because you wouldn't want to give your child a bad impression? You'd live modestly for your child's sake?

no, i'd buy them 'lavish' things. but, i wouldn't tell them they are 'rich'. IMO-that would only lead to them having a feeling they are better than others only because of daddy's wallet.

[Autumnchik 6]

I answered in the poll section and here was my rationale:

As much as everyone is saying kids shouldn't be aware of the financial problems of a family, the reality is that kids are much more aware than adults realize. Kids pick up on things, as much as parents try to hide things from them. I would let my child sell his toys to give him back a sense of control. I know that probably sounds strange, but the reality is that when problems happen in a family, the kids often feel so out of control and powerless. So, I don't see selling the toys as a meaningless gesture at all, but rather something that would give the child some sense of control. That said, I would not want my child to sell all of his toys and would encourage him to keep some. For me, it is more about the child's mental health and empowering him.

How empowering is it, though, for a child to sell his toys only to realize that it didn't change a thing wrt the financial situation?

Because the child is at least able to do something, to have a little bit of power over a scary situation. Even if nothing changes, the child has been able to act.

And if I were the parent in the situation, I would want to explain to my child that the reality is that the money from the toys will not pay the debt off .... so they are aware of the reality.

[rebeccajo 14]

Whatever happened to shielding kids from the bullsh!t of the world?

The same people who believe in 'shielding their kids from bullsh!t" are the same people who give all the little kiddies on the losing Little League team a trophy just for being 'stars'. They're the same people who go into the classroom and read the teacher a riot act if their little darling isn't picked for some achievement they didn't deserve. Bullsh!t is out there, just like real life. A good parent prepares their child for all of life, not just the rosy parts.

Well, I believe in shielding kids from things like financial difficulties, but I don't believe in trophies for all, yelling at teachers, etc.

I agree with preparing children for life's bumps, but I believe 11 years old is too young for this kid to not have a sense of security of where he's sleeping next week.

That's your belief. Not everybody believes the same thing you do.

[Marilyn. 340]

I answered in the poll section and here was my rationale:

As much as everyone is saying kids shouldn't be aware of the financial problems of a family, the reality is that kids are much more aware than adults realize. Kids pick up on things, as much as parents try to hide things from them. I would let my child sell his toys to give him back a sense of control. I know that probably sounds strange, but the reality is that when problems happen in a family, the kids often feel so out of control and powerless. So, I don't see selling the toys as a meaningless gesture at all, but rather something that would give the child some sense of control. That said, I would not want my child to sell all of his toys and would encourage him to keep some. For me, it is more about the child's mental health and empowering him.

How empowering is it, though, for a child to sell his toys only to realize that it didn't change a thing wrt the financial situation?

Because the child is at least able to do something, to have a little bit of power over a scary situation. Even if nothing changes, the child has been able to act.

And if I were the parent in the situation, I would want to explain to my child that the reality is that the money from the toys will not pay the debt off .... so they are aware of the reality.

the kid seems pretty smart so I am sure he is aware of that already..

[Autumnchik 6]

Whatever happened to shielding kids from the bullsh!t of the world?

The same people who believe in 'shielding their kids from bullsh!t" are the same people who give all the little kiddies on the losing Little League team a trophy just for being 'stars'. They're the same people who go into the classroom and read the teacher a riot act if their little darling isn't picked for some achievement they didn't deserve. Bullsh!t is out there, just like real life. A good parent prepares their child for all of life, not just the rosy parts.

Well, I believe in shielding kids from things like financial difficulties, but I don't believe in trophies for all, yelling at teachers, etc.

I agree with preparing children for life's bumps, but I believe 11 years old is too young for this kid to not have a sense of security of where he's sleeping next week.

Honestly, I agree with you about shielding kids from the financial difficulties ... in theory. However, the reality is that kids ARE aware of problems and are perceptive, so I feel you need to deal with the reality that they are cognizant of the problems and go from there.

[Fandango 1,440]

Because the child is at least able to do something, to have a little bit of power over a scary situation. Even if nothing changes, the child has been able to act.

And if I were the parent in the situation, I would want to explain to my child that the reality is that the money from the toys will not pay the debt off .... so they are aware of the reality.

This is where we obviously differ, because I don't see that as empowering at all because it winds up changing nothing.

At the end of the day, the kid selling the toys prolly will change things...but only because the media somehow got wind of it, and now it's become such a big issue, I'd be surprised if the money didn't start flowin in. But that just leads me to believe that it's even worse because the kid is being exploited.

[Peikko 1,575]

I don't agree with pretending to children but I don't believe in the 'taking control' ####### either. A kid doesn't have any control to take back - what they need is for the adults in their lives to bahave like adults so the kids can be kids and concentrate on their education. Allowing a kid to shoulder that kind of responsiblity it totaly wrong. I would neither ask nor expect it.

Here's what the sensible parent would do, in my opinion. They would aknowledge that the child wanted to please the parent by doing the only thing that springs to mind to be helpful. They would reassure the child that in fact, things were not as bad as he feared, that the debts would be paid, and by the parents, that the toys were not going to make a difference one way or another and in fact any replacements would cost more and perhaps increase financial problems so keeping the current ones makes sense, but to expect a smaller gift at birthdays and christmas until things got straightened out. They could give the child some small tasks that would help the family, like perhaps taking out the trash and let that give them a sense of purpose if that was required. They would then move heaven and earth to get a job, two jobs, whatever it took to pay the debt and straighten things out.

Edited July 20, 2009 by Madame Cleo

[Peikko 1,575]

If you want a 'feel good' story, try this one for size:Link

Not an US soldier I know, but it's genuinely moving, in my opinion.

[Fandango 1,440]

Whatever happened to shielding kids from the bullsh!t of the world?

The same people who believe in 'shielding their kids from bullsh!t" are the same people who give all the little kiddies on the losing Little League team a trophy just for being 'stars'. They're the same people who go into the classroom and read the teacher a riot act if their little darling isn't picked for some achievement they didn't deserve. Bullsh!t is out there, just like real life. A good parent prepares their child for all of life, not just the rosy parts.

Well, I believe in shielding kids from things like financial difficulties, but I don't believe in trophies for all, yelling at teachers, etc.

I agree with preparing children for life's bumps, but I believe 11 years old is too young for this kid to not have a sense of security of where he's sleeping next week.

That's your belief. Not everybody believes the same thing you do.

I brought it up in direct response to what you said. Not everyone who believes in shielding kids believes the rest of what you wrote. I'm proof. *shrug*

I don't agree with pretending to children but I don't believe in the 'taking control' ####### either. A kid doesn't have any control to take back - what they need is for the adults in their lives to bahave like adults so the kids can be kids and concentrate on their education. Allowing a kid to shoulder that kind of responsiblity it totaly wrong. I would neither ask nor expect it.

Here's what the sensible parent would do, in my opinion. They would aknowledge that the child wanted to please the parent by doing the only thing that springs to mind to be helpful. They would reassure the child that in fact, things were not as bad as he feared, that the debts would be paid, and by the parents, that the toys were not going to make a difference one way or another and in fact any replacements would cost more and perhaps increase financial problems so keeping the current ones makes sense, but to expect a smaller gift at birthdays and christmas until things got straightened out. They could give the child some small tasks that would help the family, like perhaps taking out the trash and let that give them a sense of purpose if that was required. They would then move heaven and earth to get a job, two jobs, whatever it took to pay the debt and straighten things out.

Now that's just nonsense!

Sarcasm aside, ITA.....

[mawilson 2,133]

so what are you saying then, the dad should take the money and spend it on bills?? that would really make the dad a #######...

Take the money and spend it on drugs and booze.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.- Mahatma Gandhi

I think the story is inspiring, the boy is doing his little share to help in a very bad situation. When he grows up, he will remember that he did what he could to help his family, and hopefully it will make him feel good

Saludos,

Caro