Supporting your s/o through the big change...

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I agree with Jackie - not mean at all. That's a simple reality for many immigrants - starting at the bottom of the job market, so to speak. Back in the days when I immigrated from Poland in the 90's I held a job in a deli as a catering coordinator for about 12 years that got me through college and gave me a a wide variety of life experience...Some might see it as a demeaning work but hey it it's honest employment and it pays your bills, what's wrong with that...

[Jenn! 918]

I keep thinking this topic is going to be about male menopause.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I keep thinking this topic is going to be about male menopause.

[chaishai 1]

I agree with Jackie - not mean at all. That's a simple reality for many immigrants - starting at the bottom of the job market, so to speak. Back in the days when I immigrated from Poland in the 90's I held a job in a deli as a catering coordinator for about 12 years that got me through college and gave me a a wide variety of life experience...Some might see it as a demeaning work but hey it it's honest employment and it pays your bills, what's wrong with that...

Can I ask a question though, maybe I am being naive - but I see immigrants - specifically arabs - working all over the place in white collar jobs. I have had doctors that likely have not been here THAT long as they still have thick accents. I have seen advertisements for lawyers who seemed the same. There are guys who have corporate jobs, management jobs, high tech jobs in my building, same situation and I work for a fortune 100 company. And these arent people we have offshored and brought over temporarily, these are people who live here and got jobs like everyone else. So I read all of this about doctors/lawyers/engineers etc who are working at mcdonalds here and I dont doubt it - but I just wonder what the people who I encounter over here are doing differently? Also my husband is a contractor and he has hired companies that are immigrant tunisians, palestinians and moroccans where their business is either painting, or tile or whatever and they are clearly making a good dime. I know a palestinian guy here who has probably been here for about 5 years and he is making amazing commissions as a real estate agent in my city.

[MrsAmera 41]

chai - I think that there are people who do find gainful and successful employment however I too don't know what it is that they do to get those jobs. I think part of it is that someone gave them a chance. I think for a lot of immigrants who end up on the lower end they do so because there aren't business owners/ceo's/hiring managers who are willing to take the chance on someone with limited US employment history and few references.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I think part of it is where they're looking, too. Businesses that work on a global scale tend to look for global employees.

Doctors, lawyers, business professionals, etc., have transferrable skills. Sure, their education and licensures won't transfer, but the skills they need to perform in those environments do.

I'm not sure that the intensity of someone's accent is a good measurement tool for how long they've lived anywhere. I don't intend to lose my "American" accent anytime soon.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I think a lot of it is location too. The economy in our part of our state is very very bad right now. We recently have had big companies with thousands lose their jobs and they were all out on the hunt. As far as giving somebody a chance I strongly believe that could be a great reason as well.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I think a lot of it is location too. The economy in our part of our state is very very bad right now. We recently have had big companies with thousands lose their jobs and they were all out on the hunt. As far as giving somebody a chance I strongly believe that could be a great reason as well.

[LaL 418]

I think part of it is where they're looking, too. Businesses that work on a global scale tend to look for global employees.

Doctors, lawyers, business professionals, etc., have transferrable skills. Sure, their education and licensures won't transfer, but the skills they need to perform in those environments do.

I'm not sure that the intensity of someone's accent is a good measurement tool for how long they've lived anywhere. I don't intend to lose my "American" accent anytime soon.

This has been our experience (especially the bolded). While my husband had a hard time finding a job locally to where we were, he found a good job elsewhere and we moved. We are pretty well convinced that the pay scale isn't exactly the same, but still decent employment nonetheless. Engineering is pretty used to working with and hiring immigrants.

[Ayman and Yasmina 0]

I thought it was mean the way it was said..Sounded pretty condescending to me..

Engineering in Egypt does pay pretty well if your with the right company..I have no issues starting from that ground up thats what immigration is all about.. I was raised well and pretty spoiled here in Egypt when I went back home from college I worked at a clothing store!!! Doesnt bother me..My husband knows its not going be easy...

[ya falaha! 0]

Bump for Betsy (ok was too lazy to find an older thread)

I know this is about work/school related adjustment but we could also add fun tips about what we've bought for or researched (transportation, currency, mosques/church groups, etc.) in order to welcome our SO's to the US.

If anyone (doodle you're good at this ) can find another thread re: what I mentioned above maybe give that one a bump, too?

[Sandrila 1]

My husband's situation was not the same as yours.

He was more than eager to leave his situation back home in Maroc and although he misses

his family he realizes he needs his wife and a good life more than anything.

His mother is older and sick too and I know he worries about something happening to her but

he is not the only child. He has 4 other brothers and sister.

I congratulate your hubby for his success there and I am sure that it is very scary to

leave all that. He won't walk into an already "established" life here and he needs to be aware of that.

In alot of ways it will be starting over.

He may have to resign to the fact that he will have to take whatever job he can get, sadly.

If he gets a job he should count himself very lucky.

I think it is terrible his parents are putting a guilt trip on him for leaving.

They should desire to see him be happy and have the chance for a great life with the woman he loves.

I hope you two can pray on it.

Talk it all out and weigh the pros and cons.

It is a give/give situation and I hope you can come to some resolution so you can begin your lives together.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yep, agreed about the job thing. Gosh that has been ongoing drama for us for 2.5 yrs. MI sucks for jobs, I think KY is better. I know your husband is a teacher, Betsy and I pray he can find a job doing what he loves. Maybe as an Arabic tutor? That may be a nice idea for starters just in case the job market is tight. Prior work experience here can be important in obtaining a job. I know that has held my husband back a lot. He's had to take some ####### jobs but you gotta do what you gotta do. Some husbands are real stubborn about taking just anything. Mine would work anything but he didn't like the pay and had a hard time accepting minimum wage or slightly higher. Your husband seems easy going enough so hopefully your situation will be good.

[*JG* 2]

This happens to all immigrants. One word of caution from me is to pay attention to how loudly his parents are complaining. They can make his life a living hell.

[doodlebugg 10]

I agree with Jackie - not mean at all. That's a simple reality for many immigrants - starting at the bottom of the job market, so to speak. Back in the days when I immigrated from Poland in the 90's I held a job in a deli as a catering coordinator for about 12 years that got me through college and gave me a a wide variety of life experience...Some might see it as a demeaning work but hey it it's honest employment and it pays your bills, what's wrong with that...

Can I ask a question though, maybe I am being naive - but I see immigrants - specifically arabs - working all over the place in white collar jobs. I have had doctors that likely have not been here THAT long as they still have thick accents. I have seen advertisements for lawyers who seemed the same. There are guys who have corporate jobs, management jobs, high tech jobs in my building, same situation and I work for a fortune 100 company. And these arent people we have offshored and brought over temporarily, these are people who live here and got jobs like everyone else. So I read all of this about doctors/lawyers/engineers etc who are working at mcdonalds here and I dont doubt it - but I just wonder what the people who I encounter over here are doing differently? Also my husband is a contractor and he has hired companies that are immigrant tunisians, palestinians and moroccans where their business is either painting, or tile or whatever and they are clearly making a good dime. I know a palestinian guy here who has probably been here for about 5 years and he is making amazing commissions as a real estate agent in my city.

I wonder if these people with the good jobs went to college in the US or in their homeland. THAT would make all the difference in the world since they would have to go through the headache of translating their education to ours, etc. Plus maybe they had connections. Normally here it's not what you know but who you know. Even at the job my husband has now it's who you know. He is a waitor and got the job because of a connection. I think if it weren't for that they would have turned him down like all the rest. He had no qualms about doing the work either and now he's made some pretty nice money over the summertime.

Also having a license helps a LOT!