Update on wife who filed for divorce after receiving green card

[Minya's wife 25]

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

hate to say it, but she doesn't sound too smart. she may have been tricked into working in a brothel by now.

Such snippets of truthful and non-biased information...I am astounded at your knowledge.

Please stop generalizing and stereotyping. Not cool.

OP, what you're going through is heartbreaking, but unfortunately, given that she is a permanent resident there is not much you can do with regards to your soon to be ex's immigration. Once you divorce the only thing that changes is the time in which she is eligible to apply for citizenship. It increases from 3 years for residency based on marriage, to 5 years...so she will be able to apply for citizenship once she accumulates 5 years of residency. You should definitely consult a divorce attorney and find out information regarding divorce proceedings for your state/city. Given that your wife lied to you from day one and, as you say, prone to the influence of her friends, I would not assume that 'all she wants is the 30K vehicle'. I would make damn sure that she walks away from the marriage with nothing...but that's just me. It is up to you to decide what is best for you and most importantly for the well-being of your children.

Thanks for sharing your story w/ VJ.

Good luck,

-P

Edited July 18, 2009 by Minya's wife

[Minya's wife 25]

I am not trying to be mean OR stereotypical but when you are a middle aged gentleman of average looks and have some young enough to be your daughter beauty queen ready to tie the knot it SHOULD throw up some red flags from the get go. Just my honest opinion.

Then don't post your 'honest opinion' because it is exactly that, stereotypical and mean....not to mention that you've added nothing of value in the way of advising the OP. Way to $hit on the poor man's sorrow.

Edited July 18, 2009 by Minya's wife

[Tnic 5]

Old Dominion,

In his original post (the thread spiraled out of control yesterday and got locked), the OP stated that she had told him specifically that "it was just a business transaction" for her so she could get her GC.

OP,

if you have ANY compelling evidence that she acted fraudulently, show it to USCIS and maybe she'll get deported (or not). Either way you have nothing (except a pricey hook) to lose.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

There could be two ways to interpret the notion that she likens the marriage to a business transaction. First, we don't know if those were her exact words, verbatim, or if she said something along those lines. If she said it exactly that way, then her intentions were not sincere. But depending upon context, I wouldn't find a spouse intent on ending a relationship and referring to separating and terminating a marriage as akin to a "business transaction" all that out of line. At the point where love and commitment are gone, the next steps taken in unravelling a marriage are equivalent to a business transaction

Old Dominion,

In his original post (the thread spiraled out of control yesterday and got locked), the OP stated that she had told him specifically that "it was just a business transaction" for her so she could get her GC.

OP,

if you have ANY compelling evidence that she acted fraudulently, show it to USCIS and maybe she'll get deported (or not). Either way you have nothing (except a pricey hook) to lose.

Edited July 18, 2009 by diadromous mermaid

[bhajishah 4]

Even if it wasnt real to the bride, it was real to him. I pray for your broken heart and dreams. Brush yourself off and dont become resentful and bitter. Live and learn its life.

[Septembergold 0]

I am not trying to be mean OR stereotypical but when you are a middle aged gentleman of average looks and have some young enough to be your daughter beauty queen ready to tie the knot it SHOULD throw up some red flags from the get go. Just my honest opinion.

I`m sorry... But that is just too funny... When did people become SOOOO bias? )))) That`s too mean. it`s situations like that that create a stereotype , `cause they are so strongly negative. and nobody seems to take into consideration all the happily married couples with all kinds of different backgrounds and ages and nationalities.... How unfortunate.

To the OP: I`m very sorry you found yourself in this situation. It`s a good thing to look at it as a life experience, although I know it`s easy to say. But you should stay positive and don`t give up.

[bhajishah 4]

We All Male and Female seemed to like the adventure and thrill of a hot foreign spouse . that is why we are on VJ right!!! Some people foreign spouses develop a scam with friends, and that is not right!! Could happen any country, Given the world economic conditions, they are even suicide in Japan over economy slump. Even here the young american nurses pulling the moves on old dr Baldi. so stop the craps talk !! Young is young and they have a whole plan for adventure when they get here!! Question is, are they ready for marriage?? (maature enough) and Who are thier friends and family?? what are thier ethics base!! questions need to be seen, asked and delved into before a marriage committment!!. If they pull a big scam making all look good with help of family and friends. Shame on them!! hope they burn in hell for these things, broken heart/ soul should be against the LAW!!!

[Dakine 26]

It is a very sad situation, I went into this marriage with an open heart and open arms. I also have to kids who are suffering the effects, not even a goodbye to them. After looking through all of our photo alblums I noticed that the pictures stopped exactly one year after the marriage began. She stopped doing family events etc. No more cards on special events.

Call me stupid I just didn't put it together, when you are in love you often over look these things. I now understand that there are schools to train girls on how to do all of this sucessfully. I really appreciate all of the responses. I worked so hard to get her over here only to realize that it was a scam from day one. She did get her permanent green card for a 10 year period. So, I really do not think that there is much I can do.

She is not looking for support, just wants the $30,000 car which I just paid off a week ago, great timing. I became suspicious wfirst hen she began to rack up all of the credit cards for duplicate items and tons of clothing. Found a card in her wallet one day and found out that she was dating another guy. Her Russian friends were all behind her telling her what to do and how to dump me. They were encouraging her to have fun on her date and look at me as a stepping stone. I translated all of these messages from her phone.

Not sure if I want to contest the divorce, I know it can get ugly, or just walk away from it as a learning experience. Truly she does not belong in this country beacause all of her motives were on false pretenses. This site was so helpful in getting her over here and I am truly sorry to report this heart breaking story, I am only doing it to let people know that it can happen and it hits you right in the heart, a tremendous pain which in time will hopefully heal. Again thank you for all of your support in this difficult time.

Think about the good times you had with her and move on. You still are a young man and there are LOTS of fish in the sea. My first lady [met online] I started the immigration process with turned out to be a scammer also. I said screw bringing someone from another country and "fished locally". All the lady's turned out to be after my assets and money.

A filipina girl that was a cashier here knew what I'd gone thru and one day gave me a picture of her cousin and her phone number in the Philippines.

That was 6 years ago and I couldn't be much happier.

My wife is going for her citizenship now.

[-Cinnamon- 0]

It is a very sad situation, I went into this marriage with an open heart and open arms. I also have to kids who are suffering the effects, not even a goodbye to them. After looking through all of our photo alblums I noticed that the pictures stopped exactly one year after the marriage began. She stopped doing family events etc. No more cards on special events.

Call me stupid I just didn't put it together, when you are in love you often over look these things. I now understand that there are schools to train girls on how to do all of this sucessfully. I really appreciate all of the responses. I worked so hard to get her over here only to realize that it was a scam from day one. She did get her permanent green card for a 10 year period. So, I really do not think that there is much I can do.

She is not looking for support, just wants the $30,000 car which I just paid off a week ago, great timing. I became suspicious when she began to rack up all of the credit cards for duplicate items and tons of clothing. Found a card in her wallet one day and found out that she was dating another guy. Her Russian friends were all behind her telling her what to do and how to dump me. They were encouraging her to have fun on her date and look at me as a stepping stone. I translated all of these messages from her phone.

Not sure if I want to contest the divorce, I know it can get ugly, or just walk away from it as a learning experience. Truly she does not belong in this country beacause all of her motives were on false pretenses. This site was so helpful in getting her over here and I am truly sorry to report this heart breaking story, I am only doing it to let people know that it can happen and it hits you right in the heart, a tremendous pain which in time will hopefully heal. Again thank you for all of your support in this difficult time.

I am sorry to hear that, bless your heart. . Surely it have been hard for you coz trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met. Always keep in mind that Lord Jesus Christ is always with us. So cast your burden upon HIM, and HE will carry all your loads. And for sure you'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end. . Keep the faith burnin. God bless you and your kids. . xoxo

[Nikita2Charles 32]

I beleive in Karma, at times we have terrible things happen to us, but the sun rise today and with God's blessing you are living to see another day. It's difficult and no word or whatever anybody say can take the pain or take back what happen, For the love of your children, dust yourself off, and start to build your life again, more difficult to do and say, but time is your best healer, only with time you'll learn to forgive and live again. Don't hold any bitterness in your heart,

Be strong for your kids, they are very perceptive and they are going through the same emotions you are experiencing, they can be a positive aspect in the healing process, they are your precious, they are your gift, nobody can take that away, you have their well being to look after, like they say what doesn't kill you, only make you stronger.

I wish you all the best, and offer my sincere sympathy in this though time.

God Bless

[Jauque 1]

hate to say it, but she doesn't sound too smart. she may have been tricked into working in a brothel by now.

I disagree, she sounds intelligent enough to have scammed a seemingly intelligent man into her grande plan. Also you'd be hard pressed to find a true "brothel" in the US.

[Tnic 5]

There could be two ways to interpret the notion that she likens the marriage to a business transaction. First, we don't know if those were her exact words, verbatim, or if she said something along those lines. If she said it exactly that way, then her intentions were not sincere. But depending upon context, I wouldn't find a spouse intent on ending a relationship and referring to separating and terminating a marriage as akin to a "business transaction" all that out of line. At the point where love and commitment are gone, the next steps taken in unravelling a marriage are equivalent to a business transaction

Old Dominion,

In his original post (the thread spiraled out of control yesterday and got locked), the OP stated that she had told him specifically that "it was just a business transaction" for her so she could get her GC.

OP,

if you have ANY compelling evidence that she acted fraudulently, show it to USCIS and maybe she'll get deported (or not). Either way you have nothing (except a pricey hook) to lose.

From the OP's original post in the locked thread.

My wife received her Permanent Residence Card and now is filing for divorce. I thought her intentions were true and that she was really in love with me, but she told me it was just a business relationship for her to get into the US. I feel like I got scammed, is there anything I can do to stop this scammer?

And judging from his avatar pic she doesn't look to be drastically younger than him. They look like a good match age wise.

[Brettanne 1]

I feel sorry for what happened. Acceptance is the key to a new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds. Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after darkness and lonely moments. Losing someone may not be a loss at all but a blessing because someone even more is yet to come. You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and better persons. He will see us through the most trying and difficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him we can learn to find joy in our tears and happiness in our sorrows. In many failed relationships, separation comes as the inevitable choice but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Don't rush things, have fun, take responsibility for all your actions and decisions and have an enjoyable life!!!

[Brad and Vika 129]

There could be two ways to interpret the notion that she likens the marriage to a business transaction. First, we don't know if those were her exact words, verbatim, or if she said something along those lines. If she said it exactly that way, then her intentions were not sincere. But depending upon context, I wouldn't find a spouse intent on ending a relationship and referring to separating and terminating a marriage as akin to a "business transaction" all that out of line. At the point where love and commitment are gone, the next steps taken in unravelling a marriage are equivalent to a business transaction

Old Dominion,

In his original post (the thread spiraled out of control yesterday and got locked), the OP stated that she had told him specifically that "it was just a business transaction" for her so she could get her GC.

OP,

if you have ANY compelling evidence that she acted fraudulently, show it to USCIS and maybe she'll get deported (or not). Either way you have nothing (except a pricey hook) to lose.

From the OP's original post in the locked thread.

My wife received her Permanent Residence Card and now is filing for divorce. I thought her intentions were true and that she was really in love with me, but she told me it was just a business relationship for her to get into the US. I feel like I got scammed, is there anything I can do to stop this scammer?

And judging from his avatar pic she doesn't look to be drastically younger than him. They look like a good match age wise.

To his question, I think the only thing he can do is present compelling evidence of the scam to USCIS or Homeland Security. After two years, our government probably would view that as sour grapes, but who knows?

[DrissandAmy4ever 0]

Quick...sell the car