Update on wife who filed for divorce after receiving green card

[cohibakid 0]

It is a very sad situation, I went into this marriage with an open heart and open arms. I also have to kids who are suffering the effects, not even a goodbye to them. After looking through all of our photo alblums I noticed that the pictures stopped exactly one year after the marriage began. She stopped doing family events etc. No more cards on special events.

Call me stupid I just didn't put it together, when you are in love you often over look these things. I now understand that there are schools to train girls on how to do all of this sucessfully. I really appreciate all of the responses. I worked so hard to get her over here only to realize that it was a scam from day one. She did get her permanent green card for a 10 year period. So, I really do not think that there is much I can do.

She is not looking for support, just wants the $30,000 car which I just paid off a week ago, great timing. I became suspicious when she began to rack up all of the credit cards for duplicate items and tons of clothing. Found a card in her wallet one day and found out that she was dating another guy. Her Russian friends were all behind her telling her what to do and how to dump me. They were encouraging her to have fun on her date and look at me as a stepping stone. I translated all of these messages from her phone.

Not sure if I want to contest the divorce, I know it can get ugly, or just walk away from it as a learning experience. Truly she does not belong in this country beacause all of her motives were on false pretenses. This site was so helpful in getting her over here and I am truly sorry to report this heart breaking story, I am only doing it to let people know that it can happen and it hits you right in the heart, a tremendous pain which in time will hopefully heal. Again thank you for all of your support in this difficult time.

[j and c 8]

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

[ellmvl 1]

I know there is no words that could ever make you feel better right now...just like how i felt when i learned about my cancer. Well anyway, i think we all have gone through some tough times in our lives but eventually we passed through that chapter without even noticing it and we move on (co'z we have no choice). I believe that time will heal all wounds and of course the greater part of the process is to learn how to forgive and accept (which is the most challenging thing to do). Pray and I will pray for you

[clueless_in_usa 8]

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

Are we going to continue with the stereotyping?

Can people please try to help the OP without making generalizations or stereotyping?

Do you want to get the thread locked again? Really! Learn not to bundle everybody on the same bandwagon. And please, lay off the insults too!

No! I do not agree that it is all too common case with "these Russian brides." However, I do agree that some times, people of all nationalities prefer to join their familiar people once they arrive to the USA looking for the support they left behind when they decided to move away from home and everything familiar to start a new life in the USA.

Unfortunately, when our SOs prefer to listen to their "friends" more than to us, we are left at the mercy of the intentions of the familiar group. And if the group thinks that taking advantage of the USC is better than trying to build the best possible life with him/her, then we, USCs, get in trouble.

It is a difficult situation and I wish I had the right answer to avoid it, because soon my SO will be here and I want her not to fall prey of the terrible advice she may get from her "new friends." I am realistic about life, and I am at least trying to prevent the situation by telling her clearly the kind of advice she is going to receive when she gets to the USA. Having a constant open conversation may help, but only time will tell. I hope that I am successful.

To the OP, there is no much you can do now. She already made up her mind. Run fast, and make sure that you do not suffer more than you already have. Take it as a learning experience and move on. If you are open, you will find somebody who will really love you and who will be happy to share her life with you for the rest of your future... even another Russian, if you are still fascinated with these women, as I am

[canadian_wife 1,822]

I find your stereotyping offensive. Please refrain from prejudging and entire culture based on one man's experience.

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

To the OP - I am sorry that this happened to you. From what you say, you truly entered into this marriage with good faith. I am not sure there is anything you can do now but if she entered on a Cr-1 visa then she will have to remove conditions and prove she entered into this marriage with good faith. This will likely be difficult for her to do.

Good luck.

Edited July 18, 2009 by canadian_wife

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

By all means lets support this idiotic line of thinking by continuing to perpetuate the myth that is only russian women who might marry someone for a green card.

If the woman is from vietnam - could never happen

Philippines - nope not there either

Pitcairn islands - not a chance the women there are beyond reproach

Mexico - nada

um Columbia - well the government is corrupt everyone wants to leave any way -

I have a news flash for you sparky wake up a realize that if you took the green card out of the equation this happens all the time in the US, woman marries man for money, to get out of her neighborhood(or your case the trailer park) or environment, to improve her class standing, because it sounds like fun at the time, etc etc etc. Bad marriages happen every day but to say that it is common for Russian women to marry USC to get their green card is salacious.

I would warn you about making these gross generalizations that have their root in xenophobic thinking and racism you are looking for trouble from a whole host of directions.

And finally this to the gentlemen whose russian wife is divorcing him - If this is a true story then I feel terrible for you but it seems you should have seen some of this coming. You may want to consult an immigration attorney because there may be immigration fraud involved (may be hard to prove). It is a learning experience but you may have made some false statements that are feeding into ignorant stereotypes, there are no SCHOOLS that teach this behavior, there are bad people who get worse advice and follow it. The karmic whip is on it was to see you former spouse. I feel terrible for you and your children, but stay positive and realize that this door may be closing but a new one will open up. Perhaps you can meet a nice woman from Columbia because this kind of thing never happens with Columbians.

[j and c 8]

hate to say it, but she doesn't sound too smart. she may have been tricked into working in a brothel by now.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

sorry this happened but have you not read on here of it happening before, it has many times from both men and women from all groups. Its just new to your mind so of course you see it as being from her area, its not, next time it could be anyone. I read a poem the other day about how each person comes into our lives for one reason or another, some to teach, some to protect etc etc you dont see it but there was a reason for this, its effects both of your lives in the long run.

[Tnic 5]

Sorry. The server hung up or something. Duplicate post.

Edited July 18, 2009 by Tnic

[Tnic 5]

an all too common case with these Russian brides.

Offensive doesn't BEGIN to describe it. Unbelievable on an INTERNATIONAL immigration support forum also falls short.

Cohibakid,

This really sucks and I feel your pain. The sham of a marriage I lived through was to an American woman, but the pain is the same regardless. I hope that you won't judge all FSU women (or all international women for that matter) from this incident. Through my wife I know and am privy to the inside info on a lot of FSU women and couples. Only one of them is a player. All the rest are the kind of woman we all dream of having.

So hang in there and stay in touch with us. This is after all a support forum.

[Old Dominion 26]

Sad state of affairs! I would contest any claim that she is entitled to the car or anything else out of the marriage, and if you paid those credit card bills, she should be required to compensate you. Don't be too certain that she scammed you for a green card; consider instead that a year ago, she began being weary of marriage altogether.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Sad state of affairs! I would contest any claim that she is entitled to the car or anything else out of the marriage, and if you paid those credit card bills, she should be required to compensate you. Don't be too certain that she scammed you for a green card; consider instead that a year ago, she began being weary of marriage altogether.

Your usual line of thinking Old Dominion - there are no scammers, right? Just people who grow sadly and quickly apart

To the OP - you are probably stuck with any monetary payments made to third parties, and should consider using the car as settlement-in-full of your property division. Not sure about state laws there, but your marriage definitely falls into the short term category. If you wind up contesting anything, judges are usually more lenient than in longer term cases. You should IMMEDIATELY separate your credit, and close all joint accounts. Also, post an alert to your credit reports with all three agencies if you can. You have kids, and need to protect them too. Sorry about your troubles.

[nurse1967 287]

I am not trying to be mean OR stereotypical but when you are a middle aged gentleman of average looks and have some young enough to be your daughter beauty queen ready to tie the knot it SHOULD throw up some red flags from the get go. Just my honest opinion.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Racially disparaging remarks are not acceptable and will not be tolerated. If you cannot add anything useful to the discussion, then please refrain from posting.

[MikeMc 38]

Sad state of affairs! I would contest any claim that she is entitled to the car or anything else out of the marriage, and if you paid those credit card bills, she should be required to compensate you. Don't be too certain that she scammed you for a green card; consider instead that a year ago, she began being weary of marriage altogether.

"My wife received her Permanent Residence Card and now is filing for divorce. I thought her intentions were true and that she was really in love with me, but she told me it was just a business relationship for her to get into the US. I feel like I got scammed, is there anything I can do to stop this scammer? "

It was already stated that she's just using him, so it's pretty safe to assume that her intentions from the very start weren't sincere.

I am not trying to be mean OR stereotypical but when you are a middle aged gentleman of average looks and have some young enough to be your daughter beauty queen ready to tie the knot it SHOULD throw up some red flags from the get go. Just my honest opinion.

People of all ages fall in love with each other and it works out just fine, so that is not a valid response and is very stereotypical of you.

To the OP, best of luck trying to get that all sorted out, at least she didn't use the VAWA against you, that could have been very harmful to you as you could've lost custody of your children as well.

Edited July 18, 2009 by MikeMc