privacy between married couple

[rockhouse 1]

He should give you the passwords to set your mind at ease. If he won't it will only reinforce the suspension in your mind. Because there is something potentially fishy going on with him, he should open up and put you at ease by letting you see inside his stuff.

Although he could just as easily do that AFTER he cleans out any of the bad stuff.....i dunno, i'm sorry this happened, because once you start to question trust, it's never really the same after that.

[macutelit 0]

I know my husband password in everything but I am checking his email or something unless he ask me to check his work schedule if he is not home (part time job). Trust is a good foundation of a relationship because without a trust how can you love someone completely if something bothering you!

[chinese_mutt 11]

I know my husband password in everything but I am checking his email or something unless he ask me to check his work schedule if he is not home (part time job). Trust is a good foundation of a relationship because without a trust how can you love someone completely if something bothering you!

i agree!

to address the nude pics, i tell yah.. lots of women send spam messages these days... who's to that it was not a spam message.

but if you really feel strongly about this, i say talk to your husband and tell him how it made you feel. see what he says.

[macutelit 0]

I know my husband password in everything but I am checking his email or something unless he ask me to check his work schedule if he is not home (part time job). Trust is a good foundation of a relationship because without a trust how can you love someone completely if something bothering you!

i agree!

to address the nude pics, i tell yah.. lots of women send spam messages these days... who's to that it was not a spam message.

but if you really feel strongly about this, i say talk to your husband and tell him how it made you feel. see what he says.

Even my son is receiving rude invitation to his email/Friendster.

[LaneAndDaisy 0]

hi rebz...im sorry to hear ur case with ur hubby...

i dont know how others would feel about it but in my opinion even if u ask him for the password, if he wont change his style and wont value ur relationship as a married couple, he might still be tempted and might create a new email addy which ur unaware of and might keep things from u again unless u catch him...u have to cure the problem from the roots...if it happens to me, i would rather talk to him in a nice way and see what is missing that will win back his full attention...men are men and they like to be praised and teased...communication and trust are 2 of the indispensable factors to a good relationship..trust me,,mine wasnt perfect when i was married before and i had problems similar to yours...fortunately, during those times we had no computers only celfons and celfons shops loved us for we always end up fixing/buying fons after each feud and with regards to privacy--yes..whether ur a woman or man, young or old,,each one of us needs some privacy..but its a case to case basis....but be aware too that u have all the rights to know whats going on with ur husband coz ur married in the first place...this is might be ur first time experience with such issue, communication is ur solution...try it..besides from what u shared, the confrontation ended up well ..except for the password

i just dont understand why some women still tempt married men

i respect others posts here and i dont want some eyebrows to raise as they read this reply....this post i am sharing is based solely on what i think and feel is right to do....everyone has his/her own way of advising u...keep the ones that u think is right thing to do...i wish u no harm....

god bless u

[DEDixon 39]

As you can see OP, the responses are as wide as the Pacific Ocean so......... you have to decide what is okay with you. Sorry to be blunt, but if you can't take it, leave the guy and go home.

For me, it is a lot less stressful to open my email, keep it open all day, for my wife to see. I got MARRIED so I can't think of anything, not one thing, that I would hide or want to keep private from my wife. Privacy between husband and wife is freaking crazy in my opinion unless as someone else said, it has to do with national security. I mean if he goes to the doctor for something embarrassing, does he keep it a secret? Does he hide the balance of the checking accounts or credit cards from you? What other than email won't he let you know about? If he doesn't demand privacy outside of email, you have to seriously wonder, why does email have to be private.

In my opinion, the only reason your husband won't give you access is because he is afraid of what might arrive in his inbox before he has the opportunity to delete it.

[DEDixon 39]

and might create a new email addy which ur unaware of and might keep things from u again unless u catch him...

A marriage is supposed to be for a long time, if he creates another ID, in time, she will catch him, no doubt, but what's she going to do then is the question.

[AbbynSheryl 0]

hey i am so sorry that u r going through with that.

i just wanna add something that relation is based on trust

only reason he is not giving u the passwords because he is hiding something

u need to talk and be open and feel free to ask him all other wise it will be keep bugging u inside and it will keep storing anger in u against him.

me n sheryl have no secrets of any kind from each other. she has all my passwords and i have hers but i have no reason to log in to her account bcz i trust her blindly.

I hope u feel peace soon and please talk to him without accusing or yelling. you need an open conversation.

what he is doing is not right in any way.

abby n sheryl

[spartan 2]

ok, i'll try to make the story short.

my husband fell asleep while he's in the computer. out of my curiosity, i checked his emails and friendster/facebook since he's still logged in.

(i really don't know his passwords.)

i caught that there's a girl sending him nude pictures in his email and calling him "baby".

i felt so disappointed that i confronted him about it. he told me that he never denied that he's already married, and showed some emails from that girl saying"i find married guys more exciting. so i don't care, let's just enjoy baby." i don't know what to feel. (knowing that the girl is also from Philippines)

i told him to give me his passwords, but he won't allow me. saying that he wants to have privacy with his messages. i do trust my husband, but this issue is affecting our married life. i really can't trust the girls around him. am i having some insecurities issue?

i told him that i just want to go back in my home country if he'll just play around. but he won't allow me, instead he promised and assured me not to do anything that would harm our relationship.

i just want it to be fair since he knows all my passwords. but he really won't give me his codes.

am i being over protective or over acting about this?

IS THERE REALLY A THING CALLED PRIVACY BETWEEN MARRIED COUPLE? ARE THERE REALLY LIMITATIONS?

thanks for the advices.

Hi, my husband and I have read your post and we felt sad about your situation. About your question:

IS THERE REALLY A THING CALLED PRIVACY BETWEEN MARRIED COUPLE? ARE THERE REALLY LIMITATIONS?

Our answer is YES, BUT IT IS ONLY ONE. WHEN YOUR PARTNER GO TO THE BATHROOM AND POO! IT MAY SOUND FUNNY BUT THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN CONSIDER "PRIVACY BETWEEN A MARRIED COUPLE". YOU CAN'T STAND IN FRONT OF HIM WHILE HE'S GIVING A DUMP, RIGHT? SO THAT'S WHAT WE CALL "PRIVACY" THE RESTS ARE SHARED WITH YOUR PARTNER, NOTHING IS SECRET.

Because he refused to give his password to you, he's hiding something even if he loves you so dearly but still he's hiding something. I'm sorry to tell you about that but that's the truth. There's no other reason why he wouldn't give his password.

Our advice to you is to STAY TRUE, FAITHFUL AND LOVING WIFE NO MATTER WHAT. HOLD ON TO YOUR VOWS. MARRIAGE IS SACRED AND HOLY. Pray for him and for your relationship as a married couple. Don't monitor or investigate your husband cause that situation will just get worst. AND THE REST, LEAVE IT TO GOD, HE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT AS LONG AS YOU HAVE STRONG FAITH.

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

to the OP;

Before jumping to conclusions about your husband e-mail, like a lot VJ saying, make sure "IS NOT SPAM" mail that you are looking at.

Also insecurity about self and insecurity about marriage also bring unnecessary jealousy....

Unless this is NOT work related email accounts and it is a personal account, then it should hand out the password to you without hesitation....just to put your mind at easy.

If this is work related email account, then NO...it should not give it out. Because there are legal ramification depending on the work that he is doing, such as Patient Privacy if is he involved in health care, National security, etc,etc.

To answer your question...

Even in marriage there limits..... the bigger question is... Do you trust him?...Does he trust you?...

That is something at the end...you can only find the answer by yourself!

[srogue 0]

I guess it is a couple by couple thing, but for me and my wife, we have complete open transperancy. What do we have to hide from each other? We have privacy with each other (privacy against the outside world) but not FROM each other (privacy between us) we are ONE FLESH, how can you keep a secret life from your husband/wife? At least that is the way my wife and I view things. She has access to every area of my life and I have the same with her, we, from day one of our marriage, wanted to be completely open and accoutable to each other. We prefer it that way too.

[RDDIXON 0]

Even in marriage there limits..... the bigger question is... Do you trust him?...Does he trust you?...

Trust is earned. He isn't earning any trust by keeping her out of his email, he is doing the opposite.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

this thread looks vaguely familiar

[ScottThuy 140]

this thread looks vaguely familiar

Ya think?

[brendon1101rebz 0]

his mom talked to me about this and told me that i should relax since the girl who keeps on bugging him is in the Philippines. i told her that it doesn't follow that just because the girl is not in US, i'm already safe from infidelity. she asked me to give my husband more time adjusting in our new life sine we're only 3 months married. she also added that my husband is not used to share everything since he is only child. (i really don't know what to feel after our conversation. ofcourse she's the mom of my hubby.. she'll defend him no matter what.)

i'm pretty sure that the nude pics are not spam. i already have a copy of the nude pics and the email address of the girl. i emailed her about this and ofcourse, as expected she's not replying. (i also find it weird that the girl uses 2 different names)

i talked with my husband and told him that i can't forget what happened. it even haunts me in my dreams. he said that i'm his wife and he married me, that simply means, he wants me, not the girl. i answered him that marrying me is not a proof that he won't cheat on me.

while browsing his email, i also checked his facebook and friendster, and saw the name of the girl is blocked. he assured me that he's not cheating on me. but how can i have my peace of mind if he won't give me his passwords? i don't know if i still have to push him to give me his codes. i don't want to have another argument.

i don't know if i should be regretful that i invaded his "online privacy". i know it's bad but what if i'm still completely clueless about it? what will happen to me and in our relationship?

i told him that i left my family and job in Philippines just to be with him and i don't deserve to be treated like this. i rather go home if he'll just fool around. but he begged not to leave him.

i love him and i know he loves me too. but why is this happening to us? i thought that we'll be living in a perfect world. is there a such? (i know, this is the bad effect of reading too much fairy tales.)

i'm so confused, i trusted him so much that i never expected this coming. i really don't know what to do. my mind says not to trust fully and dig for more info until i reach my peace of mind. but my heart says, take all the risk and give him another chance. i know he's a good man, just a bit childish.

i prayed to God to give me a sign. should i stay or should i go? 2 days after the confrontation, i received a letter with our interview appointment. i don't know if i should take this as His sign.