living with parents-in-law for the 1st week

[PinayAmerican 0]

My husband is currently in Ohio (US Air Force) and his parents live in Missouri. He said, it might take him some more time to look for a house to buy and i might need to live with his parents and visit me over the weekend for a week. His parents like me to live with them and would love to have me there. And, I have nothing against them. My husband also wants me to spend time with them and be close to every member of his family. He is looking for a house everyday, but can't find the house that best fits our budget and has the resell-able quality in 4 years. Then, I began worrying about myself. My desire is to be with him as soon as I stepped in America. I have been longing to have him. I know homesickness strikes to every immigrant especially if she has never been away from her family. On the other hand, I don't want to offend my husband by saying NO right away. He has good intentions and valid reasons. But, my question is, if you were in my situation, would you accept the proposal? would you say, it's ok?! Or should I just postpone my flight to a later date until he finds a house? If you were my husband, what would you feel if I do that? Of course, I also want to consider what he would feel if I answer, NO, i don't like. before I reply to his email, i want to get answers from you guys. thank you!

[majca 0]

My husband is currently in Ohio (US Air Force) and his parents live in Missouri. He said, it might take him some more time to look for a house to buy and i might need to live with his parents and visit me over the weekend for a week. His parents like me to live with them and would love to have me there. And, I have nothing against them. My husband also wants me to spend time with them and be close to every member of his family. He is looking for a house everyday, but can't find the house that best fits our budget and has the resell-able quality in 4 years. Then, I began worrying about myself. My desire is to be with him as soon as I stepped in America. I have been longing to have him. I know homesickness strikes to every immigrant especially if she has never been away from her family. On the other hand, I don't want to offend my husband by saying NO right away. He has good intentions and valid reasons. But, my question is, if you were in my situation, would you accept the proposal? would you say, it's ok?! Or should I just postpone my flight to a later date until he finds a house? If you were my husband, what would you feel if I do that? Of course, I also want to consider what he would feel if I answer, NO, i don't like. before I reply to his email, i want to get answers from you guys. thank you!

Hi there,

I know how you feel coz i felt the same way nung sinabi s kin ng hubby ko noon n doon muna kmi sa mga in laws ko titira for at least 3 months para maging close daw ako sa kanila but until naging 6 months. Cnabi ko noong una sa kanya noong nasa pinas p ko n hindi b dapat my sarili kaming titirhan kc alam ko naman n mababait mga in laws ko kaya lng inisip ko noon pag titira kmi sa kanila it's like we have no freedom, ayoko noong una but we agreed n we will just stay there for a short while, okay naman ung pagtira namin sa mga in laws ko. D naman kmi binobother kaya lng mas gusto ko p rin ng my solo kming place.Kaya ngaun after 6 mos my sarili n kming place apartment nga lng muna pero okay lng un sa kin.

In my own opinion just accept the proposal of your husband i know u will not stay there for long coz ur husband is looking for a house naman n matitirhan nyo, gusto lng cguro nyang maging close k u and then maging safe k if malayo sya.And talk to him that mas prefer mo p rin my solong titirhan nyong dalawa kahit ung malapit sa inlaws mo kung gusto nya.

Take care...

[justashooter 430]

speaking as a man, i imagine it could be that he just wants everything to be "perfect" for you. it will be important in your early marriage to keep him from having the feeling that he dissappoints you. he has tried hard so far, yes?

[Welshcookie 17]

This is just for a week? That doesn't seem so horrible If it starts to look like a long term thing, then maybe you could both think about renting short term and look for a house together?

Good luck!

[Dalyn 1]

My husband is currently in Ohio (US Air Force) and his parents live in Missouri. He said, it might take him some more time to look for a house to buy and i might need to live with his parents and visit me over the weekend for a week. His parents like me to live with them and would love to have me there. And, I have nothing against them. My husband also wants me to spend time with them and be close to every member of his family. He is looking for a house everyday, but can't find the house that best fits our budget and has the resell-able quality in 4 years. Then, I began worrying about myself. My desire is to be with him as soon as I stepped in America. I have been longing to have him. I know homesickness strikes to every immigrant especially if she has never been away from her family. On the other hand, I don't want to offend my husband by saying NO right away. He has good intentions and valid reasons. But, my question is, if you were in my situation, would you accept the proposal? would you say, it's ok?! Or should I just postpone my flight to a later date until he finds a house? If you were my husband, what would you feel if I do that? Of course, I also want to consider what he would feel if I answer, NO, i don't like. before I reply to his email, i want to get answers from you guys. thank you!

Hi, I understand your situation, first of all just think the advantages & disadvantages on your part coz at the end you are the one who's gonna live in your in laws. You should know yourself more, if you can live or can't live with your in laws for no specific length period of time.

When I was still in the Philippines the plan was for me to stay at my in-laws for 1 week or more coz we want to get married first before I stayed at him and we want to get married at the church. But at the end since the fact that I am already there, and he can't or both of us can't deal with our situation not being together we decided to get married in justice of peace after 2 days. So, it means its hard to say NO at your part coz it could happen also to you that the fact you are already here in USA, HE might or will do everything for both of you to be together. In the contrary, if ever that its not gonna happen. Do you believe that you are a type of person who can live with other people / new people in the same roof...just think of the scenario, coz lets be realistic here we don't always have a good mood or day, same to those people who live with us. I am only giving the scenario here...but that's true to know the family of your husband will help you more to adapt everything here and for sometimes not to feel the boredom & homesick because you know that you have a new family.

If I am at your situation right now, I will tell him my fear or everything on my mind. So by himself he can have a time frame for your soon to be situation here (living with your in-laws). It's really good to be open to your husband...your not offending him your just telling him what you feel .. We love our husband that's why we are avoiding some situation that we cannot control. So good for you that you are thinking or getting some possible ways to get through of this .

[PinayAmerican 0]

speaking as a man, i imagine it could be that he just wants everything to be "perfect" for you. it will be important in your early marriage to keep him from having the feeling that he dissappoints you. he has tried hard so far, yes?

Yeah... I have no problem about doing his best. He always makes me happy. Thanks for the reply!

[DouglasFiel 53]

Yeah,,, I think that is tough. But, look at it another way. Be thankful that his parents are willing to open their home for there son and new foreign wife.

There is many children and their extended families moving back into the parents house these days,, because, of job loss.

Maybe, better not to over think this and graciously accept the situation. Never know, you might even enjoy your new parent-in-laws...

Good luck,,,

[DanielParul 50]

Hi there,

I know how you feel coz i felt the same way nung sinabi s kin ng hubby ko noon n doon muna kmi sa mga in laws ko titira for at least 3 months para maging close daw ako sa kanila but until naging 6 months. Cnabi ko noong una sa kanya noong nasa pinas p ko n hindi b dapat my sarili kaming titirhan kc alam ko naman n mababait mga in laws ko kaya lng inisip ko noon pag titira kmi sa kanila it's like we have no freedom, ayoko noong una but we agreed n we will just stay there for a short while, okay naman ung pagtira namin sa mga in laws ko. D naman kmi binobother kaya lng mas gusto ko p rin ng my solo kming place.Kaya ngaun after 6 mos my sarili n kming place apartment nga lng muna pero okay lng un sa kin.

In my own opinion just accept the proposal of your husband i know u will not stay there for long coz ur husband is looking for a house naman n matitirhan nyo, gusto lng cguro nyang maging close k u and then maging safe k if malayo sya.And talk to him that mas prefer mo p rin my solong titirhan nyong dalawa kahit ung malapit sa inlaws mo kung gusto nya.

Take care...

Not a regional forum. English please. Would love to understand whatever you had to say!

[Gemmie 142]

I'm currently living with the in-laws too as my fiance has only recently started a well-paid job.

I've been here for a month so far and probably will be here for another few months while we file for AOS and then get together a deposit and savings for an apartment of our own.

My in-laws have been tremendously kind, they have no problems with me staying here; in fact, my MIL says she loves having me here and my FIL has apparently cheered up a lot since I moved in too. I do show my appreciation by doing the housework while they're at work, doing laundry, washing dishes, and also offering to do things together. I think that there is such thing as overstaying though, and we're all looking forward to the day where my fiance and I have a place of our own, and we can visit them instead.

Be realistic, not idealistic - most people find it an incredible strain on a marriage to live with their in-laws. Are you able to live with your in-laws? How long is the situation likely to be? Would it suit everyone better if you postponed the move?

[raymaga 25]

It's apparent that you are very concerned about your husband, not just yourself. If it were me, I too would prefer to be moving into our own home when I arrived in the U.S., but if it were only for a week, I would probably be okay with it.

My worry would be that it would go longer than one week and not knowing how long it might actually be before you have your own place.

I would talk to your husband, explain your concerns kindly like you did in your post, and see if you can come up with a solution together. I can't see why he would mind if you just postponed your arrival until he has found a house, unless you would like to help chose the right house for the both of you.

Good luck and best wishes.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Living with the in-laws for a week? Not bad. This will give you some time to get to know them.

[KINGFISH 0]

My husband is currently in Ohio (US Air Force) and his parents live in Missouri. He said, it might take him some more time to look for a house to buy and i might need to live with his parents and visit me over the weekend for a week. His parents like me to live with them and would love to have me there. And, I have nothing against them. My husband also wants me to spend time with them and be close to every member of his family. He is looking for a house everyday, but can't find the house that best fits our budget and has the resell-able quality in 4 years. Then, I began worrying about myself. My desire is to be with him as soon as I stepped in America. I have been longing to have him. I know homesickness strikes to every immigrant especially if she has never been away from her family. On the other hand, I don't want to offend my husband by saying NO right away. He has good intentions and valid reasons. But, my question is, if you were in my situation, would you accept the proposal? would you say, it's ok?! Or should I just postpone my flight to a later date until he finds a house? If you were my husband, what would you feel if I do that? Of course, I also want to consider what he would feel if I answer, NO, i don't like. before I reply to his email, i want to get answers from you guys. thank you!

if u have to ask us the answer is no. it would be a very bad mistake. Your heart should know the answer.

[bulaklak 0]

if u have to ask us the answer is no. it would be a very bad mistake. Your heart should know the answer.

That's what I think too, wanting close to our inlaws not need to live with them. In my opinion it is ok for me if I live with my inlaws but only for 2 weeks but how could I be sure thats only 2 weeks and not 2 or 10 months or more? I may be do not feel comfortable living with my inlaws especially we just met for the first time. I feel like I need to have more things to adjust and add more stress too.

I have friend here who is living with her inlaw but the inlaw drive her crazy she have no other choice except to get along with her because she only a visitor. I'm not saying that this will happen to you o.p.

o.p. just speak to him of what you feel I'm sure he will understand you.

[bulaklak 0]

if u have to ask us the answer is no. it would be a very bad mistake. Your heart should know the answer.

That's what I think too, wanting close to our inlaws not need to live with them. In my opinion it is ok for me if I live with my inlaws but only for 2 weeks but how could I be sure thats only 2 weeks and not 2 or 10 months or more? I may be do not feel comfortable living with my inlaws especially we just met for the first time. I feel like I need to have more things to adjust and add more stress too.

I have friend here who is living with her inlaw but the inlaw drive her crazy she have no other choice except to get along with her because she only a visitor. I'm not saying that this will happen to you o.p.

o.p. just speak to him of what you feel I'm sure he will understand you.

If possible to rent a small apartment near to the place where your inlaws live, that would be a good idea??

[Chaz and Riggs 0]

I stayed with my in-laws in England for months, and it was fine. When we did have time alone, it was heaven. Then we both came to stay here in the US, and stayed with my mom. That was bad. He didn't get along with her, and just didn't understand how families here don't really treat each other with respect all the time... sad to say, staying at my mother's house really had a negative impact with my family here. It will take a while until things may be tolerable with my future husband's future in laws... lol... but I don't care. We will be together, and I don't care what country it has to be in!