Heartbroken...I need help.

[Jauque 1]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

Do you have plans set in place for when the aos process is over for her to visit home? I know from experience that homesickness is a lot easier to handle when are the plans in place to allow for visits to home.

Best of luck,

Kate

[Lancelotte25 1]

Homesickness, yes!! this is our common enemy once we travelled away from home but LOVE is the most powerful emotions we ever possessed and I think once she realised how lucky she is being with you, homesickness will be surpasses.

Bring her to the places that we don't have in the Philippines,like Niagara Falls, I think it's a perfect place. Let her show how beautiful your surroundings and most of all let her realise how much you love her. She'll get over it, soon.

Edited July 13, 2009 by Lancelotte25

[Welshcookie 17]

Homesickness is a terrible feeling. I am soon coming up to my year anniversary of arriving here in the US, I lived with my husband for 6 years in own country and was not prepared at all for the overwhelming feeling of wanting to return home with or without him. At least twice I announced that I was leaving him, it has been a roller coaster ride of a year and I know I hurt him a lot, but homesickness becomes very self absorbing. I also worried my own family back home because I couldn't hide my misery at all.

The past few months I have started to feel much better, I finally told myself I wouldn't think about moving back home until I had been here a year.....keep the communication open, ask her to give it more time if it is truly just homesickness.

I hope she can get through it, it really does get better after some time, but it is very hard to accept when you are in the throes of it.

Good luck!

[David-and-Mae 15]

Just a thought. No bashing! It is normal to feel homesick. I have felt it too since I have spent the last 1 year alone here, but only 21 days and she wants to go home? Isn't that a bit of an over-reaction or is she really ready for a life time commitment like marriage and spend her life here instead of back home? You both must have invested a lot of time, effort and money into this and she wants to give it all up so easily? You both still have 2 months and hopefully she will get over it and realise that everytime she feels homesick she can't just go back home. Wish you both all the best!

I actually almost went home one week before our wedding (19 days after I got here) because for the first time, I felt so homesick and it was a horrible, horrible situation (and feeling). It was like all of a sudden, it sank in to me that here I am getting married and I am thousands of miles away from my family. I just broke down in tears during one of the meetings in our church and didn't get to go to dinner with our friends who were coordinating our wedding. Husband knew and understood what I was going through and asked me if I want to go back to PI. I didn't know for sure... it was like part of me was wanting to go home and the other part wanted to stay and be with my guy. So we thought it over and after talking to my family that night, surprisingly, I felt good again.

Homesickness will always be part of us who are so far away from the people we lived with most of our life. It's especially harder for us Filipinas because we are soooooooooooooo close to our family to the point that we even still stick around to our parents even though we're already married with kids. There are so many traditions in the Philippines that are so hard to find here in the U.S. and that's when we feel the homesickness the most... not having what you used to enjoy a lot i.e. family, relatives, friends, foods, etc.

Give her some time... Use the 90 days you have and see whether she still wants to go home. If she's still decided to go back to PI, make sure she doesn't stay beyond the 90-day period. That way, if you will file for a visa for her again, she has clean records. Goodluck to both of you!

--Mae

[muñequita linda 0]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

[DanielParul 50]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

Awwww! don't be so harsh. Maybe things were not as expected atleast in terms of how much she would miss PI but they still have sometime. They can still talk about how she really feels. Even if she does really want to go back, we can't blame her. Its human to feel what she is feeling and its human to also not be able to cope and change her mind. If she does want to stay for the love of the OP she will need to toughen up a bit though.

[Mrs.Walker 0]

It has only been a few days and she is going through alot and the changes are crazy and the food is funny and the people look funny and where you like smells and sounds funny. It's alot moving away from what we know. When I came to America I cried for I think a month. Spend sometime just loving her and someone said take some time off to show her around and also to let her gt to know you t home. Take care.

[Gemmie 142]

Anyone that thinks she isn't considering "how much money and time was spent to get here" has clearly never been through the overwhelming homesickness.

Give her time, even though that might seem like the worst torture for her right now.

I've been in the US for a month and although I'm learning every day and starting to settle in, I have also experienced an instant need for the familiar. Sometimes it's nice to have a familiar taste so we go to the British food store to get some 'proper' tea. Sometimes I need to hear a familiar voice so I call back home to talk to a friend. And sometimes I like the familiarity that I grew up with so we watch a British comedy show. I always feel a lot better once I have something familiar and am reminded that this is a transition, not an instant happiness.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

Is your specialty being nasty? Really, your posts are usually plain mean. WTH.

[Mary Lou 681]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

Is your specialty being nasty? Really, your posts are usually plain mean. WTH.

I concur

Edited July 13, 2009 by garyandmarylou

[justashooter 430]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

Is your specialty being nasty? Really, your posts are usually plain mean. WTH.

now the pot is calling the kettle.

[muñequita linda 0]

Just let her go, she probably does not care for you. She was presumably expecting a lot of good things in the US but now she finds out that things did not come out as imagined.

Is your specialty being nasty? Really, your posts are usually plain mean. WTH.

I concur

Why are there too many morons here on VJ? I'd love to kick them in the a$$ but I've got so much class to stoop down to their level!

[DanielParul 50]

Why are there too many morons here on VJ? I'd love to kick them in the a$$ but I've got so much class to stoop down to their level!

Sad when people don't get any attention from their friends and family. This is what happens to them!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Why are there too many morons here on VJ? I'd love to kick them in the a$$ but I've got so much class to stoop down to their level!

Sad when people don't get any attention from their friends and family. This is what happens to them!

I luvz my sister Paru

[DanielParul 50]

Awwww! Luvz Sister Len back!