Heartbroken...I need help.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

That is not unusual. Has she met any Filipinas in your area? Have you been taking her to a Catholic Church on Sunday? Is there an Asian store nearby where she can get some foods she is familiar with?

My own wife cried all the time when she was by herself, and even tried to run away once. She warned me ahead of time that this might happen, and made me promise to humor her, but not to laugh at her. I have a good friend that married a Filipina, and I took her over to visit all the time, and took her with me sometimes when I went to work. She got over it after a couple months.

It just takes some time to adjust. You need to find things to keep her busy and occupy her mind. I had my wife writing letters and sending off resumes. The internet helped a lot. There is the Filipino Channel and GMA available by cable and satellite.

If she goes back now, it's over for her. She will be ridiculed when she goes home, so play along, and try to be understanding. She will work it out for herself. She is making a big adjustment.

Edited July 13, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[Passing.star 0]

Before I came here in the US, I worked and been in other countries for 7 years. I thought, I won't experience any homesickness anymore but I did especially during the first few weeks alone at home while my husband is away at work. We are far from neighbors here and our place is so quiete so different from what I have been. When husband arrived from work, I would cry told him I was bored and wanting to go home. How much more to your wife if this is her first time being away from home. As what others have said, find few filipinos, let her socialize with others or bring her to places as much as you can and let her use internet or phone when your away is the best things that you can do for now.

I hope everything will be alright for both of you.

[DaleandPat 0]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

Then if you are on the K1 90 days and if you are sure you want her and she wants to marry you, marry her soon. Then let her go back home for awhile. That has to be a big adjustment from the Philippines to the USA. Remember always show love, which is more than feelings, it is also action. She may miss the closeness of family members to. If her family is like my fiancee's they all live on the same piece of land, but in separate houses. Just evaluate how you really feel about each other before you either get married or she returns. She may only need a quick visit back home and she may realize how she feels and where she belongs.

[DARUMA07 25]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

Then if you are on the K1 90 days and if you are sure you want her and she wants to marry you, marry her soon. Then let her go back home for awhile. That has to be a big adjustment from the Philippines to the USA. Remember always show love, which is more than feelings, it is also action. She may miss the closeness of family members to. If her family is like my fiancee's they all live on the same piece of land, but in separate houses. Just evaluate how you really feel about each other before you either get married or she returns. She may only need a quick visit back home and she may realize how she feels and where she belongs.

She could not go back home until she gets her AP in hand. She would not be allowed back into the country without it....

[otso88 0]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

try to get her a plane ticket / send her back to her country, i bet yah she will kneel down, cry and beg to stay, that's just part of some emotional drama drama.

Edited July 13, 2009 by otso88

[raymaga 25]

I'm only 3 1/2 hours away from my family and friends and I totally understand how she feels. But if I were a world away from all my loved ones, I probably would have felt even worse.

I have stuck it out here in the U.S. for 5 years now, and I don't feel one bit less anxious about being away from Canada. I have just adjusted a little better because I now have a job and some friends here. But, do I still miss my family and friends in Canada... yes, I do!!!! And always will. But my husband is the reason I stay.... I know our life together is worth the sacrifice.

I wish you the best and hope you can work through this.

Best wishes.

[belovedbyme 0]

You can file the same person as go through same stage as fiancee. But will take longer and grilling during the interview. Give her sometime to make up her mind. She is just homesick.

[Peace be still 6]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

try to get her a plane ticket / send her back to her country, i bet yah she will kneel down, cry and beg to stay, that's just part of some emotional drama drama.

I'm going to have to agree with with you about getting her a plane ticket back home. I mean serously you spent all your time and money to get her here and then this type of reaction is not good at all. Home sick I understand and missing your family but not wanting to get married and go back home is what I don't understand.

Was you completely honest with her about your financial situation and how your life was here in America? Could she be disappointed in the life style she was expecting to have and then she came here and realized it's not what she was dreaming of the entire time? America is not for everybody, some people are content where they are and there is nothing wrong with that at all.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

Then if you are on the K1 90 days and if you are sure you want her and she wants to marry you, marry her soon. Then let her go back home for awhile. That has to be a big adjustment from the Philippines to the USA. Remember always show love, which is more than feelings, it is also action. She may miss the closeness of family members to. If her family is like my fiancee's they all live on the same piece of land, but in separate houses. Just evaluate how you really feel about each other before you either get married or she returns. She may only need a quick visit back home and she may realize how she feels and where she belongs.

She could not go back home until she gets her AP in hand. She would not be allowed back into the country without it....

Even with AP in hand, there is no guarantee they will let her back in. Just be patient with her.

Before this thread turns into a free for all, it would be best for this thread to be moved to the PI forum.

Edited July 13, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[rebeccajo 14]

I think it actually needs to go to the "Moving to America" forum. The issue isn't just one experienced by women from PI.

[-Cinnamon- 0]

My fiancee arrived in the US three weeks ago. I was so excited, happy -- whatever, but now she wanted to go back home because she's homesick. She still wants to be engaged to me and promised me we're not giving up on each other. She's just not ready to get married right now. My question is, when she goes back to her country (Philippines) within the ninety days, will it be easier for us to go through another visa? I would appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

try to get her a plane ticket / send her back to her country, i bet yah she will kneel down, cry and beg to stay, that's just part of some emotional drama drama.

drama????? feelin homesick is NORMAL. . .

[metro420 1]

Do not think of a new application yet ok? Try to talk to her about it, it is difficult to be away with the family but to go home, that might be too much! I just hope she is not making an excuse to leave you, sorry but she's kinda immature to handle homesickness. talking to her family most of the time is a good thing, to make it cheaper, try to subcribe in www.owtel.com for a cheaper phone call in the philippines. Having filipinos around is also a good thing for her. Let her explore your place and have her meet you families and relatives. We are in CR-1 application and it is now easy to wait and undergo another process of visa. Talk to her and try to be as open-minded as possible.

Good luck!

[Tito Jorge 0]

Then if you are on the K1 90 days and if you are sure you want her and she wants to marry you, marry her soon. Then let her go back home for awhile. That has to be a big adjustment from the Philippines to the USA. Remember always show love, which is more than feelings, it is also action. She may miss the closeness of family members to. If her family is like my fiancee's they all live on the same piece of land, but in separate houses. Just evaluate how you really feel about each other before you either get married or she returns. She may only need a quick visit back home and she may realize how she feels and where she belongs.

This was my thought as well ...

If she feels that she wants to marry you ... then get married while she is here ...

She can then go home to her family and you can file CR-1 visa later ...

I am not sure this is the answer to your problem ... but it could be ...

Discuss this with her and see what you both think ...

-- George

[tammy2688 1]

Hey there,

I am not saying this is right or even what she is thinking, but women many times say things and mean another. Maybe she is trying to not be with you, so using home sickness as a sort of easier way of saying she wants to leave, seeing as mabe her expectations were not met. If indeed it is really homesickness, she should be mature enough to just suffer through the first couple of months and keep in contact with her family, get to know you better and after the marriage, should go there for a visit. She should never feel she is "stuck" here, and your job is to help her understand that. I am sure you love her and she loves you, but maturity is such an important factor and if she emotionally says she wants to stay but wants to go back right now, she then did not think about how much paperwork, time and money you have to put in again. As your fiancee, she should be worried for your finances too just as you are her concern. I hope within the next 2 months she will feel better about being here. We all know it's hard to adjust, but are drowned in love with our SO's to not think that much about family back home enough to want to literally go back. Try your best to make her feel at home and see how she does with that. Give us an update on her, we are hoping she feels good enough to stay after the 2 months have passed.

Tam

Edited July 13, 2009 by tammy2688

[bulaklak 0]

Nah,,ridiculed because the marriage failed?? now a days it is normal to have failed marriage..only narrow minded people will do the ridicule thing.

as for the topic...sure she feels homesick and in shocked for her new invironment, also she might be confused whether she want to stay in the marriage or not. perhaps she changed her feelings toward him. it is a different feeling when you living in one roof that's the time you will know exactly who really is the person you married for. also if he really making her happy and she really love him she will survive for this hard trials.

good luck I hope you can both solve this problem