Safe amount of time

[Staashi 371]

Just curious, why bother with an orfi marriage at all? I mean if you aren't sure if you want to marry him legally why even bother with the orfi? What would that do for you exactly other than allow you to get a hotel room together? I would be wary of any Egyptian muslim man who thinks it's ok to be alone in a hotel room with a woman who is not his wife. My husband wouldn't even stay in the flat with me until we were married because he was soooo soooo scared of bringing shame to me. Just some thoughts.

To the bolded: And he is willing to spend a trial 90 days living here with her without marriage, so its not an issue to him apparently.

To the underlined: Good man

One other thing I see - it's like you're bringing him here and he has no obligations. For someone who is DYING to get out of Egypt he has nothing to lose. I'd love to see what he would tell the CO about all of this. That could be a fun interview.

[Ihavequestions 419]

The more I read the more I see red flags waving allover this.

Indeed. tammy is setting herself up for all kinds of really, really hard times.

Nobody's going to tell her anything she doesn't already know. She knows the culture. She knows the religion. If she wants to do it, she's going to do it.

My question is if she wants to do it (and there's nothing wrong with getting married agan - nothing AT ALL), why this guy? Sheesh. There's gotta be at least a couple million single or divorced Egyptian men who would have a different approach to women, relationships, and marriage, so why not look for one of those?

We all have our own standards and we're entitled to that, so I'm certainly not going to judge. My point is there's nothing wrong with being picky when it comes to partners.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

The more I read the more I see red flags waving allover this.

Indeed. tammy is setting herself up for all kinds of really, really hard times.

Nobody's going to tell her anything she doesn't already know. She knows the culture. She knows the religion. If she wants to do it, she's going to do it.

My question is if she wants to do it (and there's nothing wrong with getting married agan - nothing AT ALL), why this guy? Sheesh. There's gotta be at least a couple million single or divorced Egyptian men who would have a different approach to women, relationships, and marriage, so why not look for one of those?

We all have our own standards and we're entitled to that, so I'm certainly not going to judge. My point is there's nothing wrong with being picky when it comes to partners.

Of course there is nothing wrong with remarrying. What worries me is that, knowing all the ####### tammy just went through she might be jumping into such a complicated thing again.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I love Egypt. Ain't nothing wrong with finding a good soulmate there. I agree with the others. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing.

We have to find love and happiness before we end up old and alone! Leave her be!

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

MMMMMMMMM

First, who is to say that these idea's were his? I have a mind also, with ideas and plans.

Second, who is to say that I haven't tried to meet and get to know men from the USA?

Third, My marriage has been over for over a year and a half. The most intimate that my lovely husband is with me is when he asks where the chicken is in the freezer........or if we have tomatoes.

Fourth, Orfi because his mother is passed away, so we will be staying in a flat with his father, his brother and two small children. Orfi, so that we can spend time together alone, to get to know each others likes and dislikes and weird habits. Something I didn't do with my marriage to this husband. Does NOT mean that all our time will be spent horizontal.

Fitfth, yes, there are millions of older, divorced, Egyptian men on the net. I even met some of them online. They want sex..........and they don't care from who....sorry, It's true, tho to be fair, not only the egyptian men do it.

Sixth, Yes, I could have chosen someone else, as could have anyone else here on vj..........but, why would I? We don't choose to love someone, we either do, or we don't.............Right?

No offense taken, No offense meant..........Tammy/Aya

[nurse1967 287]

Tammy I know what you mean about the "older" divorced men on the net wanting sex. In my opinion some American guys are the worst about that. They just brazenly tell you up front that's all they want. Having said that, my hubby is only 5 years younger than me and sex was NEVER mentioned in our chats and certainly not before we talked of marriage. I know people are worried about you. But truthfully you have to make your own mistakes. Good luck to you!!!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

sister Tammy, of course we all want you to be happy. Yet, you know some of us and know we will not just let it slide, we care The way you are typing things I anticipate the visa journey from hell; full of red flags, a certain AP of god knows how long, months of separation, you know the drill. and I do not want you to suffer chica

[Ihavequestions 419]

Fitfth, yes, there are millions of older, divorced, Egyptian men on the net. I even met some of them online. They want sex..........and they don't care from who....sorry, It's true, tho to be fair, not only the egyptian men do it.

If these guys only wanted sex, they could get that here easy enough.

I can think of ten very nice men right off of the top of my head who have never been married but desperately want to be, middle aged-ish, who work, are totally respectable, and wouldn't consider mentioning the word "sex" to a woman. They aren't all looking for sex and a visa - these men I'm talking about really want a wife to love that will love them back. They aren't all bad.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

MMMMMmm, I see one mistake that I did make, when I referred to the "Orfi" marriage. Not exactly what I meant. Of course his family and friends will be aware that we have married Islamically, but won't file the papers with the courts. Sorry!

[Ihavequestions 419]

MMMMMmm, I see one mistake that I did make, when I referred to the "Orfi" marriage. Not exactly what I meant. Of course his family and friends will be aware that we have married Islamically, but won't file the papers with the courts. Sorry!

Lawyers don't perform Islamic marriages in Egypt (or anywhere else that I know of).

[Nothing1234 2]

MMMMMmm, I see one mistake that I did make, when I referred to the "Orfi" marriage. Not exactly what I meant. Of course his family and friends will be aware that we have married Islamically, but won't file the papers with the courts. Sorry!

Lawyers don't perform Islamic marriages in Egypt (or anywhere else that I know of).

did she mention a lawyer? I missed it. 2 many comments to read through all of them.

Anyway, to each his own Tammy! Best of luck...as long as you know and are aware that the "long timers" here mean well and want the best for you and your children. If you are aware of keeping your eyes open and watching for red flags thats all that matters. The crew here can help you through it too. No one would want you to stop coming here for advice or a shoulder if its what you needed!

Take your time and do what you feel is best for your life.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

:wub:

[HannahP 119]

Mostly just interesting because women who get into bad relationships tend to, statistically anyway, get into bad relationships afterwards.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Mostly just interesting because women who get into bad relationships tend to, statistically anyway, get into bad relationships afterwards.

Very true. I dont think its just women though...although probably more often than men.

[Nothing1234 2]

Mostly just interesting because women who get into bad relationships tend to, statistically anyway, get into bad relationships afterwards.

Very true. I dont think its just women though...although probably more often than men.

@ HannahP...most of the time in those statistics, they need to see it before anyone can assist. People need to ask for help to stop things (addictions, bad relationships, etc.) It's the way life is...we can see things clearly when we are outside a situation.