Ramadan 2009

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Actually, unless her husband thinks about sex 24/7 and is unable to control himself, I don't see how changing clothes in front of him is going to do any harm. And there is nothing wrong with a hug and peck on the cheek goodbye in the morning before work or when coming home. Husbands and wives can be together, as long as it's not sexual or leads to sex. A kiss and hug doesn't have to be sexual.

If I am not mistaken, even the prophet, salallahu alayhi wassalam, hugged and kissed his wives while fasting.

Salaam all! Yes, Melly....it's my understanding that our prophet, sal allahu alayhi wa salaam, also hugged and kissed his wives while fasting. Just as you said that, as long it's not sexual or leads to sex. Thanks for keeping people in the know

[MrsAmera 41]

Any source for that? My husband says we aren't even allowed to touch each other - even in passing! He goes out of his way to avoid me! Not to mention then most of the night, aside from eating he is locked away in the room reading/praying etc. It's very isolating. I know that this month is about feeling closer to God and working on our spiritual relationship but I feel like my marital relationship is suffering!

[Melly 2 0]

Any source for that? My husband says we aren't even allowed to touch each other - even in passing! He goes out of his way to avoid me! Not to mention then most of the night, aside from eating he is locked away in the room reading/praying etc. It's very isolating. I know that this month is about feeling closer to God and working on our spiritual relationship but I feel like my marital relationship is suffering!

I'll have a look around and try to find the source for you.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Any source for that? My husband says we aren't even allowed to touch each other - even in passing! He goes out of his way to avoid me! Not to mention then most of the night, aside from eating he is locked away in the room reading/praying etc. It's very isolating. I know that this month is about feeling closer to God and working on our spiritual relationship but I feel like my marital relationship is suffering!

MashaAllah, sounds like your husband is very observant. Although, it's permissable to be intimate with ones wife once the sunset has come. I'm sorry you feel your marraige is suffering. Perhaps you can ask your husband to include you (I don't know if you are a Muslimah or not) to read qu'ran together and/or pray together. All this is permissable.

As for the source for the above stated comments, it comes from a hadith by Sahih Bukhari, there are four volumes and you can find the following information from volume 3 book 31 hadith 149 & 150 which is as follows:

Narrated 'Aisha: The Prophet used to kiss and embrace (his wives) while he was fasting, and he had more power to control his desires than any of you. Said Jabir, "The person who gets discharge after casting a look (on his wife) should complete his fast."

Narrated Hisham's father: Aisha said, "Allah's Apostle used to kiss some of his wives while he was fasting," and then she smiled.

Again, remember this is all dependent on the couple. If you can handle a kiss or a hug without getting excited, then go for it...no harm done. Although, if ya can't well....I say just avoid it until the sun comes down.

[Melly 2 0]

Okay, here you go.

From hadith source first:

sahih Muslim

From Islam Online.net

and a third from this site

Hope that helps.

*looks like Sharifah and I posted at the same time. lol

Edited September 4, 2009 by Melly 2

[nunyab 0]

yep but to be totally honest hubby and I are far less touchier when we're fasting cause, well we know eachother sometimes we'll catch onanother looks and have to remind the other 'we're fasting don't forget" it's funny... but feeling isolated from the marriage should never be a feeling. I suggest with the hadiths talk to your husband and ask if you can meet in the middle.. like can he kiss you on the head like a sister? than ask him if he could do that when you need it.

just a suggestion insha'allah this will work out soon cause we're already about half way through.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Hee hee, Melly. I should have know you woulda had it covered, girlfriend!

Rajaa, is right. Ahmed teases me that it's a good thing I am NOT in Egypt right now. As much as we miss each other, well we know that wouldn't be good for us to be huggin' and kissin' each other while fasting, cause we already know we'd get all exited.

[nunyab 0]

Hee hee, Melly. I should have know you woulda had it covered, girlfriend!

Rajaa, is right. Ahmed teases me that it's a good thing I am NOT in Egypt right now. As much as we miss each other, well we know that wouldn't be good for us to be huggin' and kissin' each other while fasting, cause we already know we'd get all exited.

love my MENA man lol.....

[doodlebugg 10]

For those of you who are not fasting this month, what do you do to make it still feel like Ramadan? I had to call my doctor the other day because I was really one hurting pup and she advised me against fasting since 1) I need to take medication throughout the day for pain and 2) the stress of fasting is making me go into flareups. I just feel guilty and I know I shouldn't but I do.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

IMO, you shouldnt feel guilty for not fasting especially since its for medical/health reasons. Im a Christian and have fasted many times (not in groups with others but on my own) but now due to my health and some medication I am not, its not the best thing for me to do right now until I get off some medications. I pray, read the bible and do some studies, and make sure I get my alone time with God. I dont feel guilty for not fasting, bcz right now if it was meant to be, it would be.

[ya falaha! 0]

Bridget, personally I don't feel like this month is any different from any other month. Honestly, except for the first few days, Ramadan has never had a special feeling for me. In the past, I would like the first week or so and then grumble about the rest. I know it's different in Arab countries but here it's so blah and a big inconvenience.

For my sons' sake I do try to make Eid a fun experience. They either go out with their father or me to somewhere like Chuck E. Cheese or the movies and out to eat. And plenty of gifts, of course.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I would like to know also Bridget. I am borderline diabetic and honestly could be full fledged because it is bloodwork time. Well, I fasted for a few weeks and had several really dizzy episodes this past week. One including feeling as if I would pass out with a numb tongue and numb finger tips. I realized this was low blood glucose because it was the same feeling I would get during my pregnancy when I had gestational diabetes.

What can be done in lieu of my fasting during Ramadan? Any suggestions would be appreciated? Should I send my husband money to give to fellow Muslims that are less unfortunate in Egypt while he is there? I am not sure....I was always informed that any charity is to be given to your fellow religous brothers and sisters first besides family.

[doodlebugg 10]

Bridget, personally I don't feel like this month is any different from any other month. Honestly, except for the first few days, Ramadan has never had a special feeling for me. In the past, I would like the first week or so and then grumble about the rest. I know it's different in Arab countries but here it's so blah and a big inconvenience.

For my sons' sake I do try to make Eid a fun experience. They either go out with their father or me to somewhere like Chuck E. Cheese or the movies and out to eat. And plenty of gifts, of course.

You're right I would definitely feel a little better if I were in Cairo. I'm so glad hubby is going there tomorrow so at least he'll feel the excitement. Maybe I'll plan a nice dinner for Eid.

Tamara thanks for the suggestions. I have been reading the Quran everyday but I did that while fasting so it feels the same, you know?

Also I know I have to pay for each day I don't fast but is there someplace that states how much I have to pay? I know that ummsqueaky put it up there last year but I can't find it.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Amanda,

I'm far from an expert, but one thing that came to mind is to be careful about things like locking the door when you are changing to make sure he doesn't accidently see you naked during the day during Ramadan. Don't make sexual comments to him either, since Muslims are not supposed to think about sex while fasting. And be prepared to do without hugs and kisses until sundown!

Also, if you don't fast, it's a good idea to eat and drink where he won't see you. Try to avoid cooking things with strong smells - especially if it's something he really likes. Those aren't things that I heard anywhere - just things that seem polite.

Good luck if you do try to fast. Don't be hard on yourself if you aren't able to do it 100%, or slip up sometimes.

venusfire

Actually, unless her husband thinks about sex 24/7 and is unable to control himself, I don't see how changing clothes in front of him is going to do any harm. And there is nothing wrong with a hug and peck on the cheek goodbye in the morning before work or when coming home. Husbands and wives can be together, as long as it's not sexual or leads to sex. A kiss and hug doesn't have to be sexual.

If I am not mistaken, even the prophet, salallahu alayhi wassalam, hugged and kissed his wives while fasting.

This is exactly how I learned. A hug and a quick kiss is ok. As long as there is no real turn on in that event. When my husband was here we always hugged and quick kissed until the sun went down.

[ya falaha! 0]

T - perhaps visit your local mosque and ask if you can donate to a charity via the mosque or maybe even donate to a local food bank or homeless or womens' shelter.