Why is it that when a woman is a victim of domestic abuse,everyone is appauled,but when it's a man,people tend to laugh ?

[justashooter 430]

Maybe the sex makes it worthwhile?

good point. fiery women are usually unpredictably fun in bed.

my first wife was an uneven tempered redhead who had a habit of throwing things and kicking down doors. she had a bad case of borderline that was rooted in multiple trust object abandonment and betrayal. she was really very confused about who she was, banging hard on 6 of the 8 diagnostic criteria in the BPD scale. i tried to help her to have a normal life and endured 13 years. she eventually stabbed me in the abdomen, but we had 3 children by then, so it was an accident. things got worse, so i threw her out about 13 years ago.

she went out into the world and discovered that not all men have her interest at heart and that the one who did wouldn't take her back, but he would help her get her life under control in the interest of her children. we have a very cordial relationship for the past 7 years or so, but don't talk often these days. she married for the 3rd time last month to a decent guy. i'm very happy for her.

[panamania79 2]

Waiting for this thread to turn into another one of those "This would never happen if you just married a woman from _________________"

Both people in this relationship are USC's.

Sorry to hear that panamania. You can always refer your coworker to one of the multiple places where they provide services to abuse victims

When I try to suggest something,he becomes very defensive.

That is beside the point I was making. I could easily make a sock puppet account and say "Well, this sort of thing wouldn't happen if you married a pinay. They are so much more caring. blah blah blah".

Most of the abuse centers are specifically for women. It's emasculating enough to be an abuse victim, then to go to a battered women's shelter I imagine is a bit much for a man.

Funny you mention that beacause he is also always bragging about how he married a caucasian woman and he's the same one who critcizes me because my SO is not American.

[NickD 203]

If the guy takes the abuse and stays in the situation it says that his self esteem isn't very good. Perhaps he thinks that he can't do better and deep down holds himself responsible for her behavior.

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Sounds like this guy is in need of a good counsellor.

Or religious social thing, you did marry for better or worse and should stay together because of the children. I did get smashed up pretty bad in that auto accident, perhaps the best thing that ever happened to me, next morning ex sought a divorce proceeding and divorce me. That left my conscious clean. Did get full physical custody of my kids that is extremely rare for a man. Unfortunately, she was also abusive to our kids, that was proved in court. Only one out of six kids is even keeping track for her. That divorce was the best thing for us as we could establish family unity. My kids love their step mom. Took me five years to pay everything off and even got the courts to agree to a one time alimony settlement. That went quicker than I expected as she wasn't here blowing money like crazy.

Why did I put up with that, that long? Must have been brain dead, but did apologize to my kids many times that staying together was a huge mistake.

But this thread deals with the OP's co-worker, why is he putting up with that? Ex told all of our friends and relatives that I not only divorced her, but screwed her from the property settlement. All I had to do was to show them the divorce papers, 50-50 plus alimony, full custody of my kids, and she divorced me, thank God.

Three years after I was debt free with even a couple of bucks in the bank, quite by accident, I met my real soulmate. So these stories can have a happy ending.

[john & jean 37]

Waiting for this thread to turn into another one of those "This would never happen if you just married a woman from _________________"

C A N A D A???