Not formally engaged yet but...

[chinese_mutt 11]

I am just curious about the age of your fiancee because you mentioned about the CAT. Many schools are not having that nowadays, it's just optional. It was a very long time ago that CAT was mandatory. And it's NOT very common that having a tourist visa for family members are discussed in a FI-west relationship. The parents can just go ahead with the tourist visa as long as they want. I don't see any reason why it has to be discussed with you. Just my opinion.

Almost 27 yrs old. I am fairly sure she said graduated in 2001. I spent some time reading about the CAT program and most of the things I read seemed very positive and encouraging. I got the impression that many people that participated in it were very proud of it.

I googled the actual school she went to because I wanted to learn more about it and her education/life and got sick. Freaking sick. Read a FEW news stories about it and the gangs and drugs etc. I understand that not ALL schools there are the same and I will mention no names here... I also understand that sometimes parents are poor and can't afford to send their kids to the finest schools around... I am not blind to the realities of 'life'.

I thank GOD that the X wife and I homeschooled our kids. Example: Say my 12 yr old walks up at 8:00PM wanting to have the TV to play some Xbox... No problem, I toss him a page of math problems first. Sometimes I may just ask him a single question... Like, What is the 12 digit to the right of the decimal in PI? Kid can spit that out in less than 2 or 3 minutes only using pencil and paper. Had to stop asking for digits less than 10 places over because he memorized all those... He gets to play a LOT of games because he works his tail off at his studies... 22/7 is PI BTW...

Sorry, had to rant. Reading about that school made me ill.

She's as old as me or as young depending on how one looks at age.

i participated in CAT too but i wasn't good at it, so i snuck out and went to the clinic pretending to be sick all the time.

there are alot of public schools that spit out great kids here, i think sometimes it depends on the parents too.

but generally, private schools (expensive ones) have more edge when it comes to applying in good universities.

the key to long distance relationship and all this cultural difference is good communication.

Oh!!! btw, ask her to buy a computer headset (php250-300), so you two don't have to keep typing and just enjoy hearing each other's voice.

you can also apply PHONE IN for her yahoo messenger account (US24/year) so you can call her in her PC through your cellphone. *use your credit card or debit card*

Good luck on your budding romance... forget the nay sayers... your Filipina seems to be a nice girl from all that I hear from you.

[chinese_mutt 11]

If she is having trouble understanding how his finaces works.. it does not necessarily mean that she's not honest or sincere. The first does not necessarily imply the second. Not everybody can easily understand how vast the diffence is when it comes to USA and Philippines. The OP's girl probably just needs some time to learn and adjust. Give her a break!

Furthermore, the OP wanted to ask insights and inputs on how to proceed with his long distance relationship. I don't think it is because he does not trust her or thinks that she is in for the GC only. From what I've read (both from OP's post and other VJ member's reply) is that he just wants to know the cultural difference of AM-FIL relationship and how to tread the waters.

I could not have said that any better TNgirl. Thanks!!!

Tried again to explain the money differences a little while ago talking to her. We were discussing the monthly grocery bill cost here vs. there. I had my currency converter out and was giving her numbers in Pesos to make it easier for her to understand... It is difficult to explain that we are NOT rich when we sit back pounding on a laptop that cost 40 or 50 thousand Pesos and we consider it to be a 'slow' laptop and are looking for a newer model...

50,000 Pesos will go a LONG way in the PI but you cant live long on that over here...

This is definitely going to take time to relate to her... I can understand why, and I appreciate the advice as to how to help explain this.

Coverting to pesos just seems to fog the mind. Even when the Pinay come here, they start to go crazy just converting everything to pesos, so eventually they give up for their own sanity. I think it's better to convert how long you have to work, to pay for whatever you are talking about. My wife works and if I tell her that her two week check does not even cover the mortgage payment, then she understands a little better. If she knows that what she makes does help with the bills, then she feels a little better about it all, and herself.

I have this compulsion too... but lately I'm trying to NOT do this.. because it drove me crazy when my husband keeps buying things that he "Needs" and then I'd start converting it in my head and think of how many other things the money could've been used for in the Philippines. Of course, I don't tell him that! hahhahhahaa... BUT now, I'm starting to unlearn this 'converting' syndrome and I'm starting to feel less stressed and more understanding of life in US.