Letter to Consular

[Shewolf04091972 0]

The following is a letter I'll be mailing down for my husband to bring to his interview. Should I mail it?

Consular,

Since I could not attend this interview, I thought it would be beneficial if I submitted a letter on my behalf. Please forgive me if this letter seems lengthy. I want you to know the history of my relationship with my husband. I beg you to read the letter in its entirety. Pass this on to him if you like. I told him there would be a letter for the Consular from me and was not to be opened except by the Consular.

Errol and I met on November 1, 2004 on board Royal Caribbean’s Empress of the Seas going out of San Juan. I was sent out by corporate as a temporary Loyalty Ambassador from our Wichita, KS offices. Each cruise I had to switch staterooms, which was a pain for the 3 and 4 night cruises. I was having trouble getting into my stateroom with my key and Errol happened to be there gathering laundry bags. I literally grabbed him and asked him to help me. He assisted me and I didn’t give him a second thought as I settled myself into my room and prepared to go to my desk on deck 8.

He had apparently given me a lot of thought, because the next day, I was at the crew elevators and ran into Errol again. He expressed a desire to get better acquainted. I gave him my stateroom number and we met there in the evening. We spoke at length and had dinner. We exchanged pager numbers and began spending all of our free time together. When we docked overnight in Casa de Campo, we went to a dance club and walked the streets and talked. We came back to the ship in the wee hours of the morning. Again we spent all of our free time together.

I began to fall in love, but was afraid to. I had come out of a bad marriage in 2000 and still wary of jumping into another relationship. Especially with someone who I would probably never see again. But I couldn’t resist his mischievous smile and the way his beautiful brown eyes would light up when he laughed. He spoke with such pride about his family and the beauty of his home. I admired his dedication to his job and family.

My husband is a serious man and doesn’t do things half way. Once he makes up his mind to do something, he is 150% committed. About 2 weeks before I was to go back to Wichita, my husband professed he loved me and wished I was staying. I told him he was full of….um…manure. I had it in my head that our relationship was impossible. How could we even have a relationship once I left? He had to know that.

Well, he convinced me. Every time I’d see him, he’d look at me in a way that made my heart flip. He constantly told me how much he loved me. He gave me his aunt’s number (since he had no home phone and she’s next door) and wanted me to keep in contact while he was on board and then when he went home. Did I mention my husband is persistent? I finally let my heart have its way and told him I loved him too. I didn’t know how we could make this work, but I was willing to give it my all.

About a week before I was to leave, we were laying on the bed watching a movie. I got up to do something and I hear my husband tell me he wants me to go back to his country with him once his contract is over. I’m thinking he’s meaning as a girlfriend/lover so I ask him, “As what?” I swear I think my heart stopped when he, without hesitation, said…”As my wife.”

Enter unwanted doubt. An Ambassador I had lunch with in St. Thomas had warned me about crew on the ships making promises and ending up already having girlfriends or wives at home. I had told her I was involved with someone on the ship and it seemed to be getting serious. Again I told him he was full of…er…um…manure. All it took was a couple of days of looking into those eyes and listening to him and I was convinced. As I said…persistent. Sometimes you have to let your heart rule.

Consular, I’m the type of person who reads people and their body language. I can honestly say I’m a pretty good judge of character. Errol was sincere in his proposal and I was ready to jump in with both feet. For someone to be able to breach the wall I had placed around my heart, they would have to be a very special person indeed. Errol is a very special person and made me willing to take the risk.

I spent the rest of 2004 getting ready to move to Nicaragua. I put in my 2 weeks notice at Royal Caribbean, bought luggage, called my husband twice a day, researched the internet on Nicaragua, and bought Spanish language CDs (I just can’t seem to roll my r’s, so I never got past lesson 1.). I had unlimited US minutes included in my cell phone package, so it was cheaper for me to call him. I had the unpublished Stateside phone number for the ship. We’d spend hours on the phone. Errol would spend his free time speaking to me instead of getting sleep or going out at port. We missed each other so much, I would even stay on the phone when he fell asleep on the phone talking to me! Just to listen to him breathe.

Errol’s contract ended January 17, 2005 and I met him in Miami Airport. When we boarded, I noted his generosity when he took off a shell bead necklace he had been wearing and gave it to an elderly woman. He didn’t want it anymore and passed it on to someone else. This would be the first of many times I witnessed his generous nature to someone. Mostly to those who had less. My husband isn’t one to forget he grew up in a poor environment. He didn’t need to work on a ship, but did so his mother wouldn’t have to have a job. He believes a man should be the provider for his family and his woman should only work if she wants to. To him, it shouldn’t be a have to thing even if the man has to get 2 jobs. This was debated at length since that’s not going to happen in the US. I explained to him I wasn’t going to let him work all the time while I sit at home! Marriage is a partnership and we’ll work together to meet our goals.

We snuggled the whole flight to Managua. I was scared before, but once I had him with me, I felt safe. I knew he would take care of me. He would help me overcome the culture shock I was in for. I think the drivers disregard for traffic laws and currency was the biggest shock, but my husband helped me through it.

I first met his sister, Lisette and uncle, Donnie. We stayed in a hotel at first, venturing out to his sister’s home. There was always a pot of something on the stove and always an offer of food. I was wary, but willing to try planton, fried cheese (YUMMY!), gallo pinto, and eggs. I don’t eat much (much to my husband’s dismay) and had to explain to his uncle that I wasn’t trying to insult him, but didn’t have an appetite. Food is not on my top priority list and I was hesitant to eat anyway. I stored my 10 pieces of luggage at his sister’s.

I met several of my husband’s relatives. He’s one of 8 children and his father’s mother has 12 living children who have numerous children themselves. Most of them are very nice people. (With the exception of his Aunt Joan, who’s a bit on the bitter side.)

Around SuperBowl time, we flew to his home on Corn Island on a puddle-jumper plane. I had my arms around his neck the whole time! I hate to fly and the plane was less than FAA regulated. He found the whole ordeal quite amusing and settled in his seat to sleep. Huh!

I met his parents, siblings, grandmother and cousins. (I swear he’s related to half the island!) His sister Yvette was pregnant with her second child and went into labor. Yvette didn’t want to go to the Corn Island hospital and let people she knew see everything she had. I asked Errol to help me time her contractions and talked her into either going to the hospital or she was going to have her child at home. I wouldn’t want to go to that hospital either after seeing it, but you deal with what’s available. She had a 5 pound, healthy, baby girl.

We stayed at a hotel because I wanted to see the SuperBowl. Missed it! The channel had the SuperBowl Countdown, but then went to figure skating! My husband can’t understand why I like American football and why the SuperBowl is so important, but he will! I’m not missing the game this year. Seattle against Pittsburgh.

Errol took me around the island, showed me his family’s land, the cemetery, took me to the highest point on the island to look out over the ocean. He took me to a ritual where his father had slaughtered a pig and the men were butchering it and placing it into a big metal pot with whole peeled planton. He explained it was a tradition for the men to gather together when a pig was slaughtered. Male bonding spans all cultures. I think I liked the bonding there better than the way American males bond. No belching and scratching and other obscene noises.

I hadn’t realized there were no ATM’s on Corn Island, so back to Managua we went. I rented a car and took my husband all over Nicaragua, staying at different hotels. We went to Mombacho with his sister and her 4 year old son and took a guided tour on a truck.

We got lost numerous times trying to find Cerro Negro. I wish I had a picture of Errol’s face when we stopped by a store that had a school nearby. A child came out with a clay duck. After having dealt with the haunting faces of children sent out by their parents to beg for money on the busy streets of Managua, I tried to tell the child I didn’t have any money. (Else I’d be out of money! I wanted to take every one of those children home with me and feed them and have a stern talking to with their parents!) The child insisted I take the still wet clay duck. I was touched, so I gave him a cordoba while my husband was inside the store asking for directions. The child ran off with a smile. My husband began coming back across the road toward the car. Behind him were a few more children with little wet clay statues in their hands. I accepted the clay items and gave each child a cordoba. Suddenly, I think every child in the area appeared. I held my coin purse out of reach, for fear one of them might snatch it. My husband shook his head. He had warned me we should have left right away, now we had to deal with a flock of small children. I tossed the coin purse to him. The look of panic on his face was priceless. These little children surrounded Errol, jumping and smiling with out-stretched hands. I laughed and laughed. I didn’t care about the money. Let them have it and buy what they need. My husband emptied the coin purse and made a run for the car. Children surrounded us. I couldn’t stop laughing. He got into the car and began to laugh too. We were careful to clear the children away before we continued down the road with several small wet clay statues.

We ended up talking a water seller into taking us to Cerro Negro. We picked up a local at the village near Cerro Negro who knew the paths like the back of his hand when the water seller didn’t know where to go. About half way up (I should have rented a 4x4) the car got stuck in the black volcanic gravel. We all got out of the car and began the trek up the side of the volcano. Our local guide informed us about the plants and how they only grow on volcanic earth. There were a total of 3 volcanoes in the area and he explained that the volcanoes were known as the 3 brothers.

We didn’t quite make it to the very top. I actually had no business climbing with my high blood pressure, but I wanted to take my husband to all the places he’d never been to. I have no regrets about it. I got more joy out of watching him run to an active lava pit and a lone tree growing in the middle of the whole thing than anything else. Making him happy makes me happy.

We’ve visited Granada (where we took a boat trip around Lake Nicaragua), Leon, drove all the way up to the Honduras border, south to San Juan del Sur, stayed in Montilemar, went to Ometepe Island and climbed up a mountain to a beautiful waterfall. I’ve never in my life tasted water so pure. We drove around the country just to drive. In some areas, we literally ran out of road and had to turn back. I put a lot of miles on that little car! I think we spent more time lost than anything else, but I wouldn’t change a thing. We had fun and it brought us closer together.

When all was said and done, it was time to get married. Unfortunately, his mother really didn’t want her baby to leave unless it was for the ship. She was born and raised on Corn Island and is of a mind that she wants her children to remain there too. Lisette (his sister) told me she had kicked up a fuss when Lisette wanted to move to Managua. This caused a few problems. His passport and birth certificate were on Corn Island along with a renewed contract for the ship I didn’t know about. Errol’s aunt Nella tried to talk to his mother, but she threatened to tear up his birth paper before she’d let him marry and refused to send it and his passport to Managua. I think it was partially my fault. I didn’t spend much time with his mother as I should have to let her get to know me. I was nervous and felt like a (pardon the pun) fish out of water. His family is wonderful. They are kind people who would give you they best of what they have and ask nothing in return. I spent most of my time on the beach, watching the ocean or in his room or walking around Corn Island. I suppose I felt like I was putting her out somehow and felt guilty, so I avoided extended contact. She would understandably feel insulted.

I can only assume she finally sent the papers because Errol agreed to go back on the ship. I felt betrayed and used. I tearfully saw him off at the airport. He had made me promise I was going to fly back to the US and he would call me there. I was hurt enough that I agreed, but decided to extend my stay just to let him know I could do as I pleased. Lisette and I got along well. I stayed the night there and Errol called me from the ship. He wanted to know when my flight was leaving, warning me how dangerous it was in Managua and saying how I should have left on a flight the same day he did. I said fine, but I have a couple of things to do first. I stayed the night at Lisette’s again.

I went to stay the next night with Errol’s Aunt Dale and Uncle Donnie. I was miserable. I was hurt. I was angry more than anything and I clung to that emotion so I wouldn’t cry. I’d done enough of that. Errol called Lisette who told him where I was staying. Errol was furious. He called Dale’s. Why wasn’t I on my way back to the US? Why wasn’t I at Lisette’s where he knew I was safe if I was going to be stubborn? He still loved me and didn’t want anything to happen to me.

I hung up on him. He called back. I hung up on him again. He called back. Dale told him I didn’t want to talk to him. We stopped answering the phone. I watched television for a while and cried myself to sleep in Dale’s daughter’s room.

I missed Errol. I still loved him and always would. How could he let his mother dictate his life like that?

I went back to Lisette’s the next day. She told me Errol had called and said he was leaving the ship and coming back to Managua. Coming back for me.

I hardened my heart. I was angry and miserable. He had hurt me. I wasn’t going to leap into his arms when he walked through the door.

On April 1st (ironic date, eh?)I was asleep in Lisette’s room. Errol came through the door. I tried to be as cold to him as possible and asked him what he was doing back and why didn’t he just stay on the ship.

I’ll never forget his words. “You know why. Because I love you.”

OK, so I wanted to launch into his arms, but I made myself distant. This, of course didn’t sit well with him. I still felt betrayed. He asked me if I still loved him. I refused to answer. I saw the hurt and frustration in his face. He tried to hold me, but I stiffened.

I asked him why he didn’t just go back to the ship and that he shouldn’t have left. He looked at me, turned and went to go talk to his sister. I tried to ignore him and went out on the enclosed patio. I played with Jondy (Lisette’s 4 year old son) and the dogs. Jondy and I played cards. Well, I put the cards face down and he tries to match them. Like a memory game. Errol would come outside every so often and just stand there. It is indeed possible, Consular, to be so connected to another person, you can feel their pain.

It was night and again Errol came outside. He said he was sorry and wrong. He had spent 3 days on the ship thinking about what he wanted and what he wanted was me. This was it. I had to make my choice. Did I still love him? Would I have him for my husband?

I had been thinking about nothing else! Debating with myself if I’d trust him again. I hesitated long enough that I saw his whole body tense. He asked me again if I still loved him. I swear I heard a catch in his voice.

I told him, “If I said no, I’d be lying.”

I think he only heard the no part, because he asked me to repeat myself. I repeated what I’d said. His breath came out in a whoosh. I heard a small noise from him (a sob?) and he grabbed me in his arms and squeezed until my spine popped! All the tension left him. I could feel it.

He kept repeating over and over how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. I think he said “I love you” more times in that one night than he did since he first said he loved me.

From a psychological standpoint, my husband is strong in many aspects, but afraid of being hurt. Who isn’t? I know I am. But we both were willing to take the risk. He doesn’t let anyone (except me) see his vulnerable side. He’s strong, silent, old-fashioned, and sometimes chauvinistic (from an American female point of view). His life was sheltered on Corn Island.

His mother hadn’t seen the need to send the birth paper with his passport, so we spent the next couple of weeks filling out the necessary papers to get his birth paper and a new cellular ID in Managua. We asked around about a lawyer to marry us and found Noel Rivera. We were married April 18th 2005 in the lawyer’s office with his sister, his uncle’s wife as witnesses and a cousin.

As you well know, that was around the time gas went up in price and the bus went up ½ cordoba. Though Managua is dangerous in general, this kicked the danger up a notch. We had already had a run in with the Pandera. You can see the scar across Errol’s nose and on his hand. He also has one on his shoulder and chest if you want him to show it to you, he will. We were also in a taxi on the Maria Rotunda when they were attacking buses and taxis. Our taxi got hit with a water bomb.

We were both worried about the danger and going to the US seemed a safer route than us living in Nicaragua as we had planned. We asked the lawyer about Errol’s C1/D Visa and he said it was fine to travel into the US. People did it all the time! We’d just have to file the paperwork once we were in the States. I should have known better. Hindsight is definitely 20/20.

We booked Tica Bus for Mexico, but got stuck in Guatemala over the weekend due to him not having a Mexican Visa. They said he should have applied for one at the Mexican Embassy in Nicaragua. What Mexican Embassy in Nicaragua? There isn’t one. We apply for a migration visa. He gets 4 days to be out of Mexico, but I was given 30 days. Every place we stopped and they checked his passport and American Visa, we were given the green light. We had fun traveling by bus and seeing other countries. I developed a taste for spicy food in Guatemala. Knocked out a cold I had!

We boarded the Greyhound in Mexico, bound for the US. At the Laredo, Texas border, I saw the beautiful Red, White, & Blue waving in the wind. She was the most welcome sight I’d seen in a long time and I had to wake my husband to point it out. He smiled indulgently and squeezed my hand. I was so excited and nervous. We would soon be on our way home. A new home and a new life together. Nothing else mattered except I had my husband at my side. We’d share our life together and try to have a child. Watch our child grow up while we grow older. Together.

Needless to say, my husband was turned away and told to go back to Mexico side. Someone had just pulled the rug from under me. I walked around in a daze, fighting back the urge to break down and cry. I couldn’t have my husband with me?

We returned to Mexico. He had to go back to Nicaragua and I had to go back to the US. I’d have to file the paperwork to bring him here. How was he going to get back though? His Mexican Visa would expire that day. We went to Mexican Immigration. They told us to go to the US Embassy. The US Embassy told us to go back to Mexican Immigration. We go back to the Mexican Immigration and they give my husband a hard time about renewing his Visa so he could go back home. They finally gave him a paper, but told him he had to leave that day. I begged for one night, but they wouldn’t budge. My husband made sure I was in a hotel and we went to the bus station. I got a refund on his Greyhound bus ticket. We spent a couple of hours alone at the hotel before we went back to the bus station. We said our good-byes. That was May 12th, 2005. I spent the rest of my time in my hotel room and cried. I think I slept all of 1 ½ hours before I went back to the bus station. At the time of my husband’s interview, it’s been 9 months and 2 days since I’ve seen my husband.

All the things I used to take for granted in the US, I don’t take for granted anymore. My husband gave me that. But none of it means a thing without him. I have a good job with a good company and my husband will have a job there too. Tyson is always looking to hire. It takes a dedicated person to work there and my husband is very dedicated. He doesn’t take things for granted. He’s no rocket scientist, but he’s responsible, hard-working, committed, loyal, loving, generous, kind…the list goes on and on. He may not have much, but he has my heart.

I love my husband, Consular. Our relationship is real. Our marriage is real. Our love is real. I don’t want to be without my husband. I’d take my chances and live the rest of my life on Corn Island with my husband, surviving on coconuts and planton, if I thought there was no chance of his being approved a Visa. My husband could have stayed on the ship, but he chose not to. My home is not a home without my husband to share it. My life is not a life without my husband at my side.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, Consular. I hope my husband calls me with good news.

Respectfully,

Mrs. Michelle Ann Goselin Campbell

Edited January 29, 2006 by Shewolf04091972

[scy 0]

Cliff notes?

[Shewolf04091972 0]

Cliff notes?

Nope...just the way it happened. I told my husband he can't open 2 things...the medical results and the letter to the Consular. I'm even putting a seal on the envelope in case he wants to get nosy. My address label.

[gimygirl 0]

you may have guarded your heart but you certainly didn't guard your privacy .... you should contact the admin and have him edit out your full name at the end of the letter. there was really no need to post your letter here in length. you've obviously taken the time to compose this letter so you can post it to him.

i hate to sound pessimisstic .... but that's me. i highly doubt that the CO is going to read this letter. anyone can write a letter ... they are going to look at the whole picture of what your supporting documentation shows them regarding your relationship.

as for saying that you instructed your husband not to open it .... you could have mailed it separate with an unsealed envelope requesting that he seal it after he's read it.

anyway, best of luck for his upcoming interview!

Nope...just the way it happened. I told my husband he can't open 2 things...the medical results and the letter to the Consular. I'm even putting a seal on the envelope in case he wants to get nosy. My address label.

is there a reason for the secrecy with your husband ... why can't he read it?

[Shewolf04091972 0]

you may have guarded your heart but you certainly didn't guard your privacy .... you should contact the admin and have him edit out your full name at the end of the letter. there was really no need to post your letter here in length. you've obviously taken the time to compose this letter so you can post it to him.

i hate to sound pessimisstic .... but that's me. i highly doubt that the CO is going to read this letter. anyone can write a letter ... they are going to look at the whole picture of what your supporting documentation shows them regarding your relationship.

as for saying that you instructed your husband not to open it .... you could have mailed it separate with an unsealed envelope requesting that he seal it after he's read it.

anyway, best of luck for his upcoming interview!

Nope...just the way it happened. I told my husband he can't open 2 things...the medical results and the letter to the Consular. I'm even putting a seal on the envelope in case he wants to get nosy. My address label.

is there a reason for the secrecy with your husband ... why can't he read it?

Um..he already knows cause he was there when it happened. Part of my supporting documentation is the letter. Before anyone asks....my husband doesn't have access to a computer and wouldn't know what to do with one if he did.

[meddykomp 0]

Cliff notes?

I was kinda thinking the same thing. It is a very interesting story and I am glad to have read it, but with that length there is a good chance the consular doesnt read it all. It might be a good thing to go through it and find out what is most important in it and write about those. My thinking is the part about him coming back for you, the dangers you would face in his country, and the journey home. Just my 2 cents.

~Angel~

[desert_fox 32]

The CO may be thinking the same thing as I as.....why is this even necessary!!

I doubt he will be very interested in reading your travel log, but will only be interested in your support documents and the other legal docs.

good luck with all.

[Shewolf04091972 0]

The CO may be thinking the same thing as I as.....why is this even necessary!!

I doubt he will be very interested in reading your travel log, but will only be interested in your support documents and the other legal docs.

good luck with all.

Never hurts to try. I'd rather send too much than not enough.

[kaydee457 13]

To the O.P.

I think if I were a C.O. opening up this letter and seeing essentially what is essentially a solid block of text, I'd probably promptly push it off to the side.

I don't think this letter would have any positive effect on the adjudication at all.

That's just my opinion.

[Fischkoepfin 1]

Ditto. The letter is way too long and goes into too much detail. If you feel the need to proof your relationship, send some pictures and proof of communication between you and your husband (phone bills). If you think a letter is necessary think of it as an introductory letter.

Something like this:

Dear Sir or Madam (chances are that fits better than consular),

I am sorry that I am unable to be present at my husband's interview. I have enclosed supporting evidence proving the authenticity of our marriage.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Signature

If you absolutely feel the need to say anything else, keep it to less than one page. Also, if you for whatever reason think it's important to keep the contents of the letter from your husband, sign it on the back after gluing it shut.

Good luck.

P.S.: To everyone, why would you need a letter for a K3-interview. I thought only K1 needed to provide proof of relationship???

[MaryandMian 1]

Like the others stated the letter is too long. You need to use cover letter and send in the proofs they are asking for. Good luck on the remainder of your journey.

Mary

[Jasman0717 9]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Satisfaction 1]

"Action(s) speak louder than words". I agree with other posts. The most important are to document your relationship. Not sure the letter will even be read? It might instead go directly in the garbage can.

[denali_1963 0]

I made asad a scape book with our pictures in it and near the end i inserted a letter and wrote about my feelings and how we met ect. but the letter is for asad not the consular and he is going to bring that at his interview when it comes up and if the consular chooses to read it he can.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Agreed, the letter should be more succinct and the mental agitations are of no consequence and in fact, the "persistence" you describe could lodge questions that don't need to be implied.

Just a couple of pointers, prior to marriage, you should refer to your current husband as a fiancé (if after he proposed) or by his name if before. If not careful when reading, the letter implies that you were already married at times.

Also, the correct salutation for a Consular Officer is not "Consular". You can address the letter to either:

The American Consul (foreign city, country)

or if in Latin America or Canada

The Consul of the United States of America

or if individual name is known

John Q. Smith, Esq.

American Consul

or (if in Latin America or Canada)

John Q. Smith, Esq.

Consul of the United States of America

or

The Honourable John Q. Smith

Consul

The salutation at the beginning of the letter should read "Dear Sir or Madam"