Aggressive VJers

[NArocks 13]

When OP's do not hear what they want to hear they shout aggressive?? #######

I concurr with Rebeccajo.

PS becca congrats on the 10 year card

I think people need to stop confusing "aggressive Vj'ers" with not hearing what they want to hear.

There are people who make it a point to be offensive. There are people who are rude.

But some people just don't want to hear the truth. That is not the same as "aggression".

[ioukta 0]

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

and it has nothing to do with the truth i had questions, and only got answers from 4 or 5 replies. Is this a forum where only one religion is accepted? am i on the wrong site?? someone has THE TRUTH on here?

Edited July 4, 2009 by ioukta

[luckytxn 2,264]

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

and it has nothing to do with the truth i had questions, and only got answers from 4 or 5 replies. Is this a forum where only one religion is accepted? am i on the wrong site?? someone has THE TRUTH on here?

Very bad and the poster child for what we are talking about.

[rebeccajo 14]

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

No it does not. Not at all.

Look - here's the deal. Every couple is different and every case is different. You have an "obstacle" to your case. It's best if you realize that up front. Many couples find similar obstacles - cultural reasons for wanting to marry in one country over the other; family pressures; criminal records; financial difficulties; etc.

This VisaJourney is a difficult one. It is easiest to understand the challenges if you get stuff down to the bottom line. No one in your thread was excessively rude to you until you decided to become offended. In my opinion, those who were asking you "invasive" questions were doing so from the standpoint that this process is difficult enough without adding an additional barrier to it. It is my opinion that you should reflect on their perspective, rather than become offended by it.

[ioukta 0]

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

No it does not. Not at all.

Look - here's the deal. Every couple is different and every case is different. You have an "obstacle" to your case. It's best if you realize that up front. Many couples find similar obstacles - cultural reasons for wanting to marry in one country over the other; family pressures; criminal records; financial difficulties; etc.

This VisaJourney is a difficult one. It is easiest to understand the challenges if you get stuff down to the bottom line. No one in your thread was excessively rude to you until you decided to become offended. In my opinion, those who were asking you "invasive" questions were doing so from the standpoint that this process is difficult enough without adding an additional barrier to it. It is my opinion that you should reflect on their perspective, rather than become offended by it.

I understand it's a long road, and complicated etc... i been gathering info for 2 years now i'm on that road myself

what i don't appreciate is for people to TELL ME what marriage is what is holy and what isn't. had i been buddhist or muslim they wouldn't have said anything because it's too different, but because they have an opinion on what saved is and what marriage is i get replies telling me u get saved by doing this and by doing that ur marriage is holy and can't u get saved in america etc..... i did not ask 'hey people i'm confused as to what i have to do inGod's eyes, can you help me"

i asked specific simple questions, and you think it's normal that 90% of what's being said is about something else? you don't think it's rude? I'd never 1st of all impose my ideas on someone who didn't ask for religious advice 2nd i wouldn't say you should or do not or stuff like that it's common curtesy to not impose on such delicate subjects. isn't it?

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Edited July 4, 2009 by ioukta

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I think I need English subtitles. Edited July 4, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[one...two...tree 2,762]

[Welshcookie 17]

what i don't appreciate is for people to TELL ME what marriage is what is holy and what isn't. had i been buddhist or muslim they wouldn't have said anything because it's too different, but because they have an opinion on what saved is and what marriage is i get replies telling me u get saved by doing this and by doing that ur marriage is holy and can't u get saved in america etc..... i did not ask 'hey people i'm confused as to what i have to do inGod's eyes, can you help me"

Actually most of the people from what I read didn't KNOW what you meant when you used the term "saved" and therefore asked you to clarify....as one poster pointed out, bringing your religion into the question was more info than required and therefore you got more than required. This is a multicultural community with different religions....they are all bashed equally on here

Edited July 4, 2009 by Welshcookie

[Chica Yeyé 41]

[rebeccajo 14]

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

Edited July 4, 2009 by rebeccajo

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

Sheesh ioukta. Really my man, you are way off base here. I just replied in your thread. Marriage is a civil matter when it comes to immigration ---- it has nothing to do with whichever set of beliefs you decide to take on. You don't have to like it... you just have to go through it. I also gave you 3 options having nothing to do with religion, but you chose to pick and choose from the responses that were religious based: that ir YOUR problem, not ours.

and congrats to my sister becca for the 10 yr GC

[ioukta 0]

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

oh i got mmy answer, very good ones, exactly what i asked, that it's better to make things slower BEFORE i get the visa than after, that i can hold off on sending the 3rd package that maybe i can take the interview as late as possible, some offered advice about getting religiously married later, that was a kind advice even if i can't follow it.

i didn't know i could act on all that and that's exactly what i wanted

and Len i didn't pick and choose, i got what i needed, the religious answers had no business being there in the first place cause they were totally off topic

You have^people giving advice and people stating their opinions i was in the K1 visa process forum, opinions are not what people ask for

[NArocks 13]

However now you are in OT ( off topic ) and this section is a little more harsh. What you were given may have been opinions even if you posted in the K-1 forum, however being that this is a public board people can ansswer in a different manner than you want to hear. The horse is dead people let us move on

[rebeccajo 14]

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

oh i got mmy answer, very good ones, exactly what i asked, that it's better to make things slower BEFORE i get the visa than after, that i can hold off on sending the 3rd package that maybe i can take the interview as late as possible, some offered advice about getting religiously married later, that was a kind advice even if i can't follow it.

i didn't know i could act on all that and that's exactly what i wanted

and Len i didn't pick and choose, i got what i needed, the religious answers had no business being there in the first place cause they were totally off topic

You have^people giving advice and people stating their opinions i was in the K1 visa process forum, opinions are not what people ask for

Let me see if I have this right.

While the answer that you wait is a perfectly viable one and would solve the problem of having to cancel or delay the visa, it was not a good answer?

You are really starting to annoy me. Your problem is not that you didn't get the information you sought. Your problem is you want fries with your burger.

Stop trying to blame this on people being aggressive and put the blame where it belongs - on yourself.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Ditto becca. Also, since our friend is highly intent on saving himself.... dude, your behavior here is not very spiritual. 'nuff said.