Advice please;

[blah0323 0]

Now Valentine, I don't know what to believe anymore. Word has it that you supposedly lied to your fiance about being a preacher. SHAME ON YOU!!! Now if you did in fact do that...well yeah, she needs to let your but get sent back home to Naija. Im for trying to keep the peace, but if you just blatantly lied like that, well you can't really be trusted, therefore sistergirl needs to call off everything. If you gonna lie like that, then its no telling what else you will lie about next. Boy, u got some "splaining" to do!!!!

Sweetee

Whoa!

**CORRECTION**

Pastor...

Whoa is right!!!!!

I'm going to pray for this situation

Let me add this......... "if" you are a Preacher/Minister then it shall be revealed in your walk, your talk, your aroma. If not then...............shame on you!!!

[Jideprincess 0]

Now Valentine, I don't know what to believe anymore. Word has it that you supposedly lied to your fiance about being a preacher. SHAME ON YOU!!! Now if you did in fact do that...well yeah, she needs to let your but get sent back home to Naija. Im for trying to keep the peace, but if you just blatantly lied like that, well you can't really be trusted, therefore sistergirl needs to call off everything. If you gonna lie like that, then its no telling what else you will lie about next. Boy, u got some "splaining" to do!!!!

Sweetee

Whoa!

**CORRECTION**

Pastor...

Whoa is right!!!!!

Lord im trying to keep my mouth shut...but im over here thinking on just what seems to me is strange...Now I dont know both sides..but Im sitting here thinking this thing out as a woman who going through process. Let me see now..I travel thousands of miles to see a man, spend time and money with him, go against friends and family for him, help him get to states, he move in with friends, I go to his house and take everything and call wedding off and he only been here for less than a month.

...WELL that lets me know she is TICKEEDDD OFF and to me..im leaning more towards the whistle blower..it appears a lie been told and this woman is devastated..This the actions of a woman who hurt.

Now I see you (Valentine) saying things not being done for religious reasons, which validates that religion is tied in...so maybe you did portray something or being someone you not. Like a Pastor I dont know for sure..This just my opinion.

Ok im babblling but my heart go out to this woman. Im really starting to see more of her view and have not heard it...I cant believe a woman go through all that just to call it off. This woman hurt and if you did hide behind the name of God to get over here. You need to repent to GOD for that...Go back home and leave the woman with some dignity. Lies before marriage? PLEASE thats a shame..and its making it harder for those honest men of GOD who really living right..but then again.....THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE and it ALWAYS will be revealed.

Im praying seriously for folks..cuz this a shame... and Im speaking as a REAL MINISTER..its a shame when ministers of all people go out and decieve..i just think they curse. Ones who suppose to be leaders of people, to protect them spiritually and teach them the ways of truth..Living a lie...well let me shuddup before i get more Its a shame..

Im through on my soapbox.

[BESANGIN 0]

Been a while since I've been around, but, DANGG!!!! I smelled a rat from the beginning of Valentine's post. But before I go on. I want to clear up what was probably a slip in expression on the part of Lekan. NOOOOOO, my African brother, not all African American women will live with a man before marriage!!! Yes it would be hard to live seperately from a man or woman that you love and are attracted too mentally and physically, but when you are professing God, that's what we are called to do, but if God ain't yo' cup of tea then live with your SO if that's for you. So in that regard there were many on the forum faced with that who IMMEDIATELY went to the justice of the peace to remain pure before God and had their HUGE wedding later! So things like that can be worked out, and I am sure that they had to have discussed that before he arrived. Or is that something else he lied about? People let me tell you something, lies are just like RATS, BUGS, and MICE, if you see one in your house then believe me there are MANY more hiding in the closet. (Did I just do an R. Kelly?) A person does NOT just start telling lies and making up stories, they get good at it from years of practice. Kids do it but you can bust them because they haven't mastered the art of lying, but grown A$$ men and women who always HOLLERING GOD this and God that..... Come on, pay attention. So believe me this women did not go through months of IMMIGRATION HELL to just call off a marriage over a misunderstanding!!!!! God rewarded her by sending her a HUGE present to get the HELL out before you get in too deep. Let's pray that her emotions don't get the best of her and she succumbs to the "Baby I'm Sorry's, You are everything to me!!!!" Not as much as that damn GREENCARD!!! Excuse my French. Again NO attitude if I stepped on your toes, just PM me. "cause if it don't apply to you, then no attitute is necessary, and if it does, SUCK it UP, and MOVE on 'cause most times the truth HURTS!!!!

I just want to add one more thing, This is to the Christians on this board, mainly the ones who do the deceiving and swear they ARE Christians. You gotta stop thinking that God is a WHIMPY God!!!! God forgives you for your wrong when you repent! (CHANGE) Not when you do something KNOWING you gonna keep doing it! He don't ROLL like that!!! Did you not read how He punished His people in the Old Testament? Surely you don't think that WE are so special in this day and age that He won't do the same to US? God has not changed, we have changed Him to fit what we want in our lives, which is to have a form of godliness and still party with the devil. Can I get an AMEN!!!?? My point is, you may get away with your devilment on earth or maybe not, He may give you your just desserts early, but remember, you will not be able to SWEETTALK your way into heaven!!!!! So just think about that before you start playing on peoples emotions to get ahead. You are only telling God that the place HE put you in is not GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!

[Optimystic 0]

O.K....I want to thank our fellow VJ'er that presented the otherside of the story to me. Cause, the story was one sided initially, but after getting the rest of the details..... Lets just say I'm with Sweetee this time...

It's prettty bad when a born, bred, and raised Nigerian woman tells you that she was even sceptical about returning home to marry her Naija primary school sweetheart. I admire you for your honesty, because you are right, these are your people, you grew up around/interacted w/them and you know how they think. You only confirmed my suspicions when you stated that so many Naija men have family members living here in the U.S. and they will go to extreme measures (by any means necessary) to ensure that they reunite w/loved ones here.

I'm sure you all remember not too long ago we read a story in which the brother had been coaching his brother on what to say to his American fiance. Making sure he mentioned, "Don't worry about how she looks etc..." Now in a situation like this, do you believe that your fiance is being sincere, or do you believe the brother whom has been coaching him???? It's confusing because you don't know what the hell to believe!

Now, I'm going to ask those of you whom have already been to Nigeria one question, and plz. keep it real...

How many times were you asked this question by fellow countrymen, "Do you have a friend you can introduce to me?" I knew they weren't bit more interested in developing anything meaningful, so I didn't even waste my time racking my brains thinking of eligible females... They were just trying to look for any opportunity to get the heck out of the country!

And although we(hubby & I) are trying our hardest at working at being a good friends, confidants, and spouses, I can't help but to look at my man w/ suspicion wondering if, and when he will pack his things and get to steppin'. Afterall, he has that 10yr greencard in hand, so he could step at any time.... It's happened to so many others, and although I am optimistic, I'm smart enought to know that our marriage is not invincible to attacks. (Yes, we have had a few serious ones to date )

I would respect a person if they just came to you and said, "Look, I want to get a U.S. visa. I'm willing to make you a monetary offer of $$$$$ to assist me." Rather than be a manipulative, lying, conniving, calculating, deceptive ####### (Yeah I said it!) who uses trickery to convince women to marry them for the visa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tell you whats more crushing... When you see someone naively going down that road, and they don't even know it..... They are so happy & excited (Yes, we have all been there! And it's the most wonderful feeling in the world to be loved and accepted by someone. ), and you want the best possible outcome for them , (No, I don't want nobody's feelings getting trampled upon or hearts broken.) Nevertheless you just get a gut feeling, and know in your heart that something just ain't right, but you can't say nothing for fear of being called an unhappily, married-playa hater.

O.K. I'm leaving it alone.........

Edited July 7, 2006 by Optimystic

[JenT 0]

Not surprising that the OP hasn't made an appearance in a while... what does that tell you?

[BESANGIN 0]

What would you DOOOOOO for a Klondike BAR!!!!!!!! Ask them, what would you DOOOOOOO for a GREENCARD!!!!! My husband had the NERVE to tell me that Nigerians are better Christians than Americans. I had to move away from him 'cause I felt the roof opening up. I told him hypocrites come in all races, and all nationalities. BUT, one thing about AA people here is that they know when they wrong, and a lot of us won't perpetrate like we're Christians. They'll say I ain't ready to be saved yet. I still got playing to do. but pray for me. Ya'll know a Pookie from down the street always tell you that. Now this does not apply to all Nigerians because I have friends that I will go to bat for and they will go to bat for me. A lot them I met here and in Nigeria will look you dead in your face and LIE, and Steal from you and SWEAR that it was a blessing from GOD!!!! Am I LYING?? NO. We already know we are immoral in the US. Heck, look how everywhere you go this country is trying to erase God from everything, even the foundation that the country based upon is disappearing. It is very said what people will do for what they deem a better life in the name of god. Note that I put God in small letters because their god (the scammers) is a god of greed, selfishness, and hatred. So stop PROSTITUTING yourselves and make the best of what you've been blessed with!!!! If you love God so much then call on him to ease your burdens, or to be content in your lot in life. YES I didn't stutter!!! I said PROSTITUTES. You're selling your body for a greencard!!! Ok that's enough for me. I'm gonna go have some green tea now.

[Taye500 0]

O.K....I want to thank our fellow VJ'er that presented the otherside of the story to me. Cause, the story was one sided initially, but after getting the rest of the details..... Lets just say I'm with Sweetee this time...

It's prettty bad when a born, bred, and raised Nigerian woman tells you that she was even sceptical about returning home to marry her Naija primary school sweetheart. I admire you for your honesty, because you are right, these are your people, you grew up around/interacted w/them and you know how they think. You only confirmed my suspicions when you stated that so many Naija men have family members living here in the U.S. and they will go to extreme measures (by any means necessary) to ensure that they reunite w/loved ones here.

I'm sure you all remember not too long ago we read a story in which the brother had been coaching his brother on what to say to his American fiance. Making sure he mentioned, "Don't worry about how she looks etc..." Now in a situation like this, do you believe that your fiance is being sincere, or do you believe the brother whom has been coaching him???? It's confusing because you don't know what the hell to believe!

Now, I'm going to ask those of you whom have already been to Nigeria one question, and plz. keep it real...

How many times were you asked this question by fellow countrymen, "Do you have a friend you can introduce to me?" I knew they weren't bit more interested in developing anything meaningful, so I didn't even waste my time racking my brains thinking of eligible females... They were just trying to look for any opportunity to get the heck out of the country!

And although we(hubby & I) are trying our hardest at working at being a good friends, confidants, and spouses, I can't help but to look at my man w/ suspicion wondering if, and when he will pack his things and get to steppin'. Afterall, he has that 10yr greencard in hand, so he could step at any time.... It's happened to so many others, and although I am optimistic, I'm smart enought to know that our marriage is not invincible to attacks. (Yes, we have had a few serious ones to date )

I would respect a person if they just came to you and said, "Look, I want to get a U.S. visa. I'm willing to make you a monetary offer of $$$$$ to assist me." Rather than be a manipulative, lying, conniving, calculating, deceptive ####### (Yeah I said it!) who uses trickery to convince women to marry them for the visa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tell you whats more crushing... When you see someone naively going down that road, and they don't even know it..... They are so happy & excited (Yes, we have all been there! And it's the most wonderful feeling in the world to be loved and accepted by someone. ), and you want the best possible outcome for them , (No, I don't want nobody's feelings getting trampled upon or hearts broken.) Nevertheless you just get a gut feeling, and know in your heart that something just ain't right, but you can't say nothing for fear of being called an unhappily, married-playa hater.

O.K. I'm leaving it alone.........

Damn, you got some mean and stressed individuals on this post. Dam optimystic, take it easy now. Don't shoot nobody.

[Jideprincess 0]

So believe me this women did not go through months of IMMIGRATION HELL to just call off a marriage over a misunderstanding!!!!! God rewarded her by sending her a HUGE present to get the HELL out before you get in too deep. Let's pray that her emotions don't get the best of her and she succumbs to the "Baby I'm Sorry's, You are everything to me!!!!" Not as much as that damn GREENCARD!!! Excuse my French. Again NO attitude if I stepped on your toes, just PM me. "cause if it don't apply to you, then no attitute is necessary, and if it does, SUCK it UP, and MOVE on 'cause most times the truth HURTS!!!!

I just want to add one more thing, This is to the Christians on this board, mainly the ones who do the deceiving and swear they ARE Christians. You gotta stop thinking that God is a WHIMPY God!!!! God forgives you for your wrong when you repent! (CHANGE) Not when you do something KNOWING you gonna keep doing it! He don't ROLL like that!!! Did you not read how He punished His people in the Old Testament? Surely you don't think that WE are so special in this day and age that He won't do the same to US? God has not changed, we have changed Him to fit what we want in our lives, which is to have a form of godliness and still party with the devil. Can I get an AMEN!!!?? My point is, you may get away with your devilment on earth or maybe not, He may give you your just desserts early, but remember, you will not be able to SWEETTALK your way into heaven!!!!! So just think about that before you start playing on peoples emotions to get ahead. You are only telling God that the place HE put you in is not GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!

So believe me this women did not go through months of IMMIGRATION HELL to just call off a marriage over a misunderstanding!!!!! God rewarded her by sending her a HUGE present to get the HELL out before you get in too deep. Let's pray that her emotions don't get the best of her and she succumbs to the "Baby I'm Sorry's, You are everything to me!!!!" Not as much as that damn GREENCARD!!! Excuse my French. Again NO attitude if I stepped on your toes, just PM me. "cause if it don't apply to you, then no attitute is necessary, and if it does, SUCK it UP, and MOVE on 'cause most times the truth HURTS!!!!

I just want to add one more thing, This is to the Christians on this board, mainly the ones who do the deceiving and swear they ARE Christians. You gotta stop thinking that God is a WHIMPY God!!!! God forgives you for your wrong when you repent! (CHANGE) Not when you do something KNOWING you gonna keep doing it! He don't ROLL like that!!! Did you not read how He punished His people in the Old Testament? Surely you don't think that WE are so special in this day and age that He won't do the same to US? God has not changed, we have changed Him to fit what we want in our lives, which is to have a form of godliness and still party with the devil. Can I get an AMEN!!!?? My point is, you may get away with your devilment on earth or maybe not, He may give you your just desserts early, but remember, you will not be able to SWEETTALK your way into heaven!!!!! So just think about that before you start playing on peoples emotions to get ahead. You are only telling God that the place HE put you in is not GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!

AMENNNNN! PREACH IT!!! Trust me GOD will issue justice and keep the eyes open of the one trusting him. Like i said too...no woman going through all of that and putting off a wedding. Its sad but I know not a bit of good come to anyone who does another deceitfully wrong. I dont care if its years down the road. I seen it with crazy ones in my life. "Whatsoever a man(woman) soweth, that shall he reapeth".. They must miss that part in their "Study of christianity"..Imma leave it alone...but I tell you what.. One thing that Jesus say and we all gotta take heed in this thing. "WATCH as well as PRAY"...Im a advocate that GOD will show us the signs, its up to us to follow them... I just pray that the woman be fine cuz its so heartbreaking. Ok im out..PEACE

[dmartmar 1]

The OP's a freakin' fraudster.