Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[Ellsinlove 2]

Morning/Afternoon Yardies! (I always do that cause I'm on west coast time in case anyone wonders.)

I'm so tired today....we need a new & bigger bed. When I wake at night to tinkle, I usually get back in bed & fall right back to sleep....now it's two of us & when he gets back in bed, he fidgets for a half hour & I lose more sleep now than I did even before when I had bouts of insomnia. We need to figure out a way to make our sleep more sound because I'm already a grump in the mornings & when I'm tired, it's ten-fold! Then I hit snooze five times & by the last time, he's pushing me out of bed trying to help me & that just irritates me even more since he gets to lay there still. This morning I left the house grumpy & when he started to get up to give me a kiss I closed the door. What a meanie I am. When I got to work he called to apologize for trying to get me going by pushing me out of bed which was a sweet gesture (apologizing that is) but it's more than just that. I'm finding one of the biggest challenges is being the sole provider & not always feeling like I have enough help. Now he agreed that on as many nights as we can work out, he'll try & cook dinner so I don't have to come home & do all of that too. He's made some dinners but he's not familiar with the spices & ingredients so he's reluctant. We haven't had a chance to get across the bay to a Jamaican food store so I've been doing a lot of the cooking. He is always really good about 'pulling up his socks' (as his Granny used to say) when I tell him I need some help. I just need to relax a little & keep remembering that what he does may not be up to my standards (I'm particular about things) but at least he's trying. So there are our adjustment issues of the day.

Ells I do the same thing I use to have my alarm set for 6:30 and wouldn't get out of bed until 7:10 A found it very annoying so I change it to 6:55 and do 3, 5 minutes snooze... This morning I fell back asleep and turn the alarm off so I jump up waking him up and running around like a crazy person. Its very annoying exspecially when we go out at night and come in late knowing darn well I have to be up at the crack of dawn and he gets to sleep him... but a so it go for now!!!

One thing that strike me about you post that I wanted to comment on is that fact that you said that you are particular about things... Well you have to understand its not just about you anymore and you guys are going to make it work you have to meet him half way and he does the same... Its very difficult to mess two lifes together much less two different culture but it can be done as long as you guys come to an understanding...

SO SO true!! Sometimes it's hard to get it into my thick skull though.

[finesse 3]

Its funny that we share some adjustment storeis today cause when I go to work this morning and saw it was 7/9 I was like huh its our 7months POE anniversay, I should write and update onf VJ.....

I normally don't share too much but my hubby is very private and don't like it when i share our issues or anything.. and since we have met and become friends with some of the yardies that makes it worst. But I will share some.

A and I have fun together we play like children... and I do mean children.. we play hide and seek in the house (don't laugh) we chase each other around, sometimes I feel like we need adult supervision...

90% of the time we are fantastic its the other 10% that's been our challenge and it one issue only..... work/school

A is currently in school I have no issues with being the sole provider while he is in school cause moving from NY to NC has saved us so much money and reduce our expense drastically... When he first got here I got the GED book for him and figure he could study it and within 3 months take the test and move on to some other trade school.... well that has not being the case.. I know he went to school in JA and I did too and the education I got there waas above the one I received when I got here... So I was thinking this would just be a refresher for him but it seem like he went to school and didn't really pay too much attention so alot of things I thought he should know he didn't. So I got fustrated with helping him and he did too with me helping him.. So now he is in school 3 day a week.

Well the other part of our issues comes up with work because A has been working since he was 18 and he has not work for the past 7 months again I have no issues with it cause I want him to focus on getting the GED it would be nice if he had a PT job and can get out the house more during the day. Well ever couple of weeks are so he really gets depress about not working and me being the sole provider (financially) when he gets like that I remind him of everything we have achieve and how it would not have been possible for me to have done it without him... but sometimes that just not enough to get him out the funk, I have had to call his best friend in JA for him to talk to him once cause he was just so down and nothing I did made him feel better... He said he would have waited in JA longer if he knew it would take him this long to find a job... I try to remind him of the ppl I know with college degrees that don't have a job and the ppl he know in JA that did the same line of work he did and have since passed away...

But when he gets like that he constantly asked me if he is causing me added stress with him not working.... which I told him is very annoying cause i have told him no time and time again.... Then I feel like when he gets like this he don't focus on school which makes me mad..... I tell him to focus on the things he can control and leave the rest to God...

One of our other issues was my mouth I am very sarcastic and he does take things literally so I had to watch how I respond to certain things and he had to learn not to always take me literally...

any strong man with any amount of pride and dignity is going to feel depressed about not working. and months and months of it can really take its toll. until my husband got his EAD and was able to work he felt the same way. he cried about it. everytime i would sit down to write out the bills or pull out money from the atm or buy anything at the store he would just hang his head. there was nothing i could do or say to make him feel better about it. put yourself in his shoes. be thankful that he recognizes how hard you work and loves you enough to feel like ####### because right now he cannot do the same. A job will come.

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Hey Mrs P, I think we are going to see Tarus too... I go so excited when I heard John Ledgend was performing here this weekend until I went to the website I saw they wanted $42 dollars per ticket.... (this is a whole lot of money because I saw him for $0 dollar last year up close and personal and he did all he new songs then anyway....)

Hey 'Neisha! Let me know if you guys decide to go, because I wanna go, but I don't wanna go by myself and I don't know if my friends will be willing. One maybe...Taurrus is my 2nd Jamaican husband!

[NatPatBen 3]

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

That is so precious!!

[PortlandAngel 0]

Its funny that we share some adjustment storeis today cause when I go to work this morning and saw it was 7/9 I was like huh its our 7months POE anniversay, I should write and update onf VJ.....

I normally don't share too much but my hubby is very private and don't like it when i share our issues or anything.. and since we have met and become friends with some of the yardies that makes it worst. But I will share some.

A and I have fun together we play like children... and I do mean children.. we play hide and seek in the house (don't laugh) we chase each other around, sometimes I feel like we need adult supervision...

90% of the time we are fantastic its the other 10% that's been our challenge and it one issue only..... work/school

A is currently in school I have no issues with being the sole provider while he is in school cause moving from NY to NC has saved us so much money and reduce our expense drastically... When he first got here I got the GED book for him and figure he could study it and within 3 months take the test and move on to some other trade school.... well that has not being the case.. I know he went to school in JA and I did too and the education I got there waas above the one I received when I got here... So I was thinking this would just be a refresher for him but it seem like he went to school and didn't really pay too much attention so alot of things I thought he should know he didn't. So I got fustrated with helping him and he did too with me helping him.. So now he is in school 3 day a week.

Well the other part of our issues comes up with work because A has been working since he was 18 and he has not work for the past 7 months again I have no issues with it cause I want him to focus on getting the GED it would be nice if he had a PT job and can get out the house more during the day. Well ever couple of weeks are so he really gets depress about not working and me being the sole provider (financially) when he gets like that I remind him of everything we have achieve and how it would not have been possible for me to have done it without him... but sometimes that just not enough to get him out the funk, I have had to call his best friend in JA for him to talk to him once cause he was just so down and nothing I did made him feel better... He said he would have waited in JA longer if he knew it would take him this long to find a job... I try to remind him of the ppl I know with college degrees that don't have a job and the ppl he know in JA that did the same line of work he did and have since passed away...

But when he gets like that he constantly asked me if he is causing me added stress with him not working.... which I told him is very annoying cause i have told him no time and time again.... Then I feel like when he gets like this he don't focus on school which makes me mad..... I tell him to focus on the things he can control and leave the rest to God...

One of our other issues was my mouth I am very sarcastic and he does take things literally so I had to watch how I respond to certain things and he had to learn not to always take me literally...

any strong man with any amount of pride and dignity is going to feel depressed about not working. and months and months of it can really take its toll. until my husband got his EAD and was able to work he felt the same way. he cried about it. everytime i would sit down to write out the bills or pull out money from the atm or buy anything at the store he would just hang his head. there was nothing i could do or say to make him feel better about it. put yourself in his shoes. be thankful that he recognizes how hard you work and loves you enough to feel like ####### because right now he cannot do the same. A job will come.

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

We went thru that tooo.. but didn't want to put all that out there... yeah you know we open a join acct and he has a debit card, so he can have acess to money if he needs something.. well after a few months I notice he would never go in the acct and take money for nothing unless I ask him to go to the bank for me.. ... So the other day when KK mention that they did allowance I decided to try this and ask him how he feels about it he shrugg and said ok... So instead of just having our whatever money sit in the bank we pull a certain amount each month and split it and we both get to use it for whateve with out questions... I came home money and he went to the supermarket and purchase every kinda berry they have... blueberry, strawberry rasberry... if it ended in berry he got it I just shook my head...

But you are right it does hurt his pride and dignity.... I remeber when someone in JA spend him some money they owe him, he went and full the tank got himself a case of beer put the rest in the acct and he just couldn't stop smiling.....!!! He felt so good he was able to do something for a change!!!

[PortlandAngel 0]

[

any strong man with any amount of pride and dignity is going to feel depressed about not working. and months and months of it can really take its toll. until my husband got his EAD and was able to work he felt the same way. he cried about it. everytime i would sit down to write out the bills or pull out money from the atm or buy anything at the store he would just hang his head. there was nothing i could do or say to make him feel better about it. put yourself in his shoes. be thankful that he recognizes how hard you work and loves you enough to feel like ####### because right now he cannot do the same. A job will come.

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

Thanks we will!!!!

[Shemmy 4]

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

That is so precious!!

It is. Damien's first gift was something from Bath & Body Works but it was the thought that counted. He also sets money to the side every paycheck to take my daughter and I out to dinner and movies or whatever. It makes him feel like a man.

[finesse 3]

Its funny that we share some adjustment storeis today cause when I go to work this morning and saw it was 7/9 I was like huh its our 7months POE anniversay, I should write and update onf VJ.....

I normally don't share too much but my hubby is very private and don't like it when i share our issues or anything.. and since we have met and become friends with some of the yardies that makes it worst. But I will share some.

A and I have fun together we play like children... and I do mean children.. we play hide and seek in the house (don't laugh) we chase each other around, sometimes I feel like we need adult supervision...

90% of the time we are fantastic its the other 10% that's been our challenge and it one issue only..... work/school

A is currently in school I have no issues with being the sole provider while he is in school cause moving from NY to NC has saved us so much money and reduce our expense drastically... When he first got here I got the GED book for him and figure he could study it and within 3 months take the test and move on to some other trade school.... well that has not being the case.. I know he went to school in JA and I did too and the education I got there waas above the one I received when I got here... So I was thinking this would just be a refresher for him but it seem like he went to school and didn't really pay too much attention so alot of things I thought he should know he didn't. So I got fustrated with helping him and he did too with me helping him.. So now he is in school 3 day a week.

Well the other part of our issues comes up with work because A has been working since he was 18 and he has not work for the past 7 months again I have no issues with it cause I want him to focus on getting the GED it would be nice if he had a PT job and can get out the house more during the day. Well ever couple of weeks are so he really gets depress about not working and me being the sole provider (financially) when he gets like that I remind him of everything we have achieve and how it would not have been possible for me to have done it without him... but sometimes that just not enough to get him out the funk, I have had to call his best friend in JA for him to talk to him once cause he was just so down and nothing I did made him feel better... He said he would have waited in JA longer if he knew it would take him this long to find a job... I try to remind him of the ppl I know with college degrees that don't have a job and the ppl he know in JA that did the same line of work he did and have since passed away...

But when he gets like that he constantly asked me if he is causing me added stress with him not working.... which I told him is very annoying cause i have told him no time and time again.... Then I feel like when he gets like this he don't focus on school which makes me mad..... I tell him to focus on the things he can control and leave the rest to God...

One of our other issues was my mouth I am very sarcastic and he does take things literally so I had to watch how I respond to certain things and he had to learn not to always take me literally...

any strong man with any amount of pride and dignity is going to feel depressed about not working. and months and months of it can really take its toll. until my husband got his EAD and was able to work he felt the same way. he cried about it. everytime i would sit down to write out the bills or pull out money from the atm or buy anything at the store he would just hang his head. there was nothing i could do or say to make him feel better about it. put yourself in his shoes. be thankful that he recognizes how hard you work and loves you enough to feel like ####### because right now he cannot do the same. A job will come.

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

We went thru that tooo.. but didn't want to put all that out there... yeah you know we open a join acct and he has a debit card, so he can have acess to money if he needs something.. well after a few months I notice he would never go in the acct and take money for nothing unless I ask him to go to the bank for me.. ... So the other day when KK mention that they did allowance I decided to try this and ask him how he feels about it he shrugg and said ok... So instead of just having our whatever money sit in the bank we pull a certain amount each month and split it and we both get to use it for whateve with out questions... I came home money and he went to the supermarket and purchase every kinda berry they have... blueberry, strawberry rasberry... if it ended in berry he got it I just shook my head...

But you are right it does hurt his pride and dignity.... I remeber when someone in JA spend him some money they owe him, he went and full the tank got himself a case of beer put the rest in the acct and he just couldn't stop smiling.....!!! He felt so good he was able to do something for a change!!!

well damn, did you have to highlight it? don't tell him i told you

i'm kidding.....sometimes my husband gets on this website and is like....oonuh really chat bout alla dis????

[Shemmy 4]

We went thru that tooo.. but didn't want to put all that out there... yeah you know we open a join acct and he has a debit card, so he can have acess to money if he needs something.. well after a few months I notice he would never go in the acct and take money for nothing unless I ask him to go to the bank for me.. ... So the other day when KK mention that they did allowance I decided to try this and ask him how he feels about it he shrugg and said ok... So instead of just having our whatever money sit in the bank we pull a certain amount each month and split it and we both get to use it for whateve with out questions... I came home money and he went to the supermarket and purchase every kinda berry they have... blueberry, strawberry rasberry... if it ended in berry he got it I just shook my head...

But you are right it does hurt his pride and dignity.... I remeber when someone in JA spend him some money they owe him, he went and full the tank got himself a case of beer put the rest in the acct and he just couldn't stop smiling.....!!! He felt so good he was able to do something for a change!!!

That's cute.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

I think today is the day I spill my guts cause it fits this conversation. Those that already know this, thanks for listening to my vents and having such strong shoulders. Those who don't.....well, maybe this can help you one day.

Andre smoked weed in JA. Pretty regularly. He was in no way a deadbeat....he had a full-time job, took care of his family, and went out with friends. After much warning from me, and the fact that his sister had to pay the doctor to get her failed text fixed, he quit about 2 months before the medical and passed.

Fast forward to the US....it's expensive here. I'm the only one working and there are still residual LDR costs, additional ones, and the whole AOS/Green card thing going on. He bugged me enough that I gave him $40 a check to spend on it. Eventually, that wasn't enough "allowence". I started feeling like ####### by the things he was saying, so I caved. Got to $100 a check. In the drug world, that's not much. But, in the one paycheck world, it's tough. After failing a drug test for his first job interview, he eventually found a job. He started putting his own money towards his soon to be ever increasing habit. You know the drug laws here.....they can confiscate things if they so desire. I had lost so much in this LDR, I could not afford to lose anything else. I caught him lying.....smoking before work, in my car, DURING work, after work, around the clock. Wierd things started happening like major car problems only when he was driving, things missing, money missing, evidence of parties while I was at work but no one there when I got home. It turned into him working, smoking, and then falling asleep. I was alone and loney. I fought with him.....for him.....for a little over a year. We even had an incident where my cousin was mugged by someone who knew Andre's name and described me. Scary stuff.

He knew of my unhappiness with it all. He knew the consequences of getting caught. Hell, he was working up the management ladder at work. I kept warning there would be random drug tests eventually. The last straw was the day I came home to find him in the same room as my kids....him smoking and them watching a movie. I blew my top. Told him I was done. In the end, I chose not to engage in illegal activities and not to risk the lives of everyone I love and everything we have because of him. I gave him everything and he turned out not to be worthy of it. Not to even seem to care.

We began seperating the end of last year. At first it was cordial. It didn't end that way. I have not spoken to him in months. We can't even be near each other without the police involved anymore. 2 months ago, our divorce was final.

Don't mourn for me. I am fine. In fact, my friends and family will tell you I am happier today then I have been in a long time. I have moved on and life is good. I don't live every day in fear cause of his stupidity anymore. And, I'm not lonely anymore.

He lives in our old apartment and has a roughly 4 months pregnant girlfriend. I wish him the very best. I just don't want anything at all to do with him anymore. In fact, he was in the hospital for 2 weeks recently with sickle cell complications. I did not go visit him. My 17 year old (today!) son went to visit him. I told him if he was dying, call me and I would go up there. If not, sorry.

The moral of my story is if you have reservations about the drug issues now, please talk about them and work it out however it suits you. But, know your limits and think about the consequences. Drug usage in the US is a completely different thing then in JA. I don't know of a single JA man who truly understands that NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

JG...thank you for doing this, because you did not have to. Your story definitely helps me in that it reminds me that as much as you plan for the best, and give, and love, and do all of the things that a "good woman" and "good wife" is supposed to do, it doesn't necessarily mean that your love and dedication will be reciprocated. Nothing in life is a given. That's the lesson that both of our stories tells...I'm glad that you're doing well now, and I'm glad that you did stay in a relationship that could have very well ruined your life. You have children to live for, and getting rid of man who provided such a negative example was the best thing that you could have done as a mother. Stay blessed girl! And live your life!

[Shemmy 4]

well damn, did you have to highlight it? don't tell him i told you

i'm kidding.....sometimes my husband gets on this website and is like....oonuh really chat bout alla dis????

Damien told SunRay that he used to cry when he stayed home while I was at work I had no idea .

[PortlandAngel 0]

Hey Mrs P, I think we are going to see Tarus too... I go so excited when I heard John Ledgend was performing here this weekend until I went to the website I saw they wanted $42 dollars per ticket.... (this is a whole lot of money because I saw him for $0 dollar last year up close and personal and he did all he new songs then anyway....)

Hey 'Neisha! Let me know if you guys decide to go, because I wanna go, but I don't wanna go by myself and I don't know if my friends will be willing. One maybe...Taurrus is my 2nd Jamaican husband!

I think we will more than likely go we were deciding between him and Greogry Isaac but he wont be here any more due to illness so Taurrus it will be....lol and its around independence day so give A a taste of home....!

[PortlandAngel 0]

Its funny that we share some adjustment storeis today cause when I go to work this morning and saw it was 7/9 I was like huh its our 7months POE anniversay, I should write and update onf VJ.....

I normally don't share too much but my hubby is very private and don't like it when i share our issues or anything.. and since we have met and become friends with some of the yardies that makes it worst. But I will share some.

A and I have fun together we play like children... and I do mean children.. we play hide and seek in the house (don't laugh) we chase each other around, sometimes I feel like we need adult supervision...

90% of the time we are fantastic its the other 10% that's been our challenge and it one issue only..... work/school

A is currently in school I have no issues with being the sole provider while he is in school cause moving from NY to NC has saved us so much money and reduce our expense drastically... When he first got here I got the GED book for him and figure he could study it and within 3 months take the test and move on to some other trade school.... well that has not being the case.. I know he went to school in JA and I did too and the education I got there waas above the one I received when I got here... So I was thinking this would just be a refresher for him but it seem like he went to school and didn't really pay too much attention so alot of things I thought he should know he didn't. So I got fustrated with helping him and he did too with me helping him.. So now he is in school 3 day a week.

Well the other part of our issues comes up with work because A has been working since he was 18 and he has not work for the past 7 months again I have no issues with it cause I want him to focus on getting the GED it would be nice if he had a PT job and can get out the house more during the day. Well ever couple of weeks are so he really gets depress about not working and me being the sole provider (financially) when he gets like that I remind him of everything we have achieve and how it would not have been possible for me to have done it without him... but sometimes that just not enough to get him out the funk, I have had to call his best friend in JA for him to talk to him once cause he was just so down and nothing I did made him feel better... He said he would have waited in JA longer if he knew it would take him this long to find a job... I try to remind him of the ppl I know with college degrees that don't have a job and the ppl he know in JA that did the same line of work he did and have since passed away...

But when he gets like that he constantly asked me if he is causing me added stress with him not working.... which I told him is very annoying cause i have told him no time and time again.... Then I feel like when he gets like this he don't focus on school which makes me mad..... I tell him to focus on the things he can control and leave the rest to God...

One of our other issues was my mouth I am very sarcastic and he does take things literally so I had to watch how I respond to certain things and he had to learn not to always take me literally...

any strong man with any amount of pride and dignity is going to feel depressed about not working. and months and months of it can really take its toll. until my husband got his EAD and was able to work he felt the same way. he cried about it. everytime i would sit down to write out the bills or pull out money from the atm or buy anything at the store he would just hang his head. there was nothing i could do or say to make him feel better about it. put yourself in his shoes. be thankful that he recognizes how hard you work and loves you enough to feel like ####### because right now he cannot do the same. A job will come.

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

We went thru that tooo.. but didn't want to put all that out there... yeah you know we open a join acct and he has a debit card, so he can have acess to money if he needs something.. well after a few months I notice he would never go in the acct and take money for nothing unless I ask him to go to the bank for me.. ... So the other day when KK mention that they did allowance I decided to try this and ask him how he feels about it he shrugg and said ok... So instead of just having our whatever money sit in the bank we pull a certain amount each month and split it and we both get to use it for whateve with out questions... I came home money and he went to the supermarket and purchase every kinda berry they have... blueberry, strawberry rasberry... if it ended in berry he got it I just shook my head...

But you are right it does hurt his pride and dignity.... I remeber when someone in JA spend him some money they owe him, he went and full the tank got himself a case of beer put the rest in the acct and he just couldn't stop smiling.....!!! He felt so good he was able to do something for a change!!!

well damn, did you have to highlight it? don't tell him i told you

i'm kidding.....sometimes my husband gets on this website and is like....oonuh really chat bout alla dis????

LOL.....yeah A don't even bother anymore if I have the computer up and log on he always close this out.. said its too much.

[PortlandAngel 0]

10 more post until my

[jawi876 2]

lol Quanna, girl let me tell you after the short break I was missing that man so much. I tried not to let it show too much though and was playing hard to get, but when he got me alone in that bedroom I swear he laid it down like never before lol, was that TMI??? I guess that had a little to do with my decision, I was like hell no you aint going nowhere. Plus it was our original date.

oooooooo....that's what I'm talkin bout! kikikikiki

i'll never forget my husbands first paycheck. he came home with a diamond chain and flowers for me. i cried....not because i thougth it was so sweet but because i knew it meant so much to him to be able to give something to me. hang in there.

This has got to be the sweetest thing ever. Awwwww....

JG...thank you for doing this, because you did not have to. Your story definitely helps me in that it reminds me that as much as you plan for the best, and give, and love, and do all of the things that a "good woman" and "good wife" is supposed to do, it doesn't necessarily mean that your love and dedication will be reciprocated. Nothing in life is a given. That's the lesson that both of our stories tells...I'm glad that you're doing well now, and I'm glad that you did stay in a relationship that could have very well ruined your life. You have children to live for, and getting rid of man who provided such a negative example was the best thing that you could have done as a mother. Stay blessed girl! And live your life!

Very eloquent Mrs. P. I've always given you mad credit for sticking in there with the man you loved. A lot of people told me to give up on my relationship because they felt A should have been able to make a decision to put me first before his girls...I wouldn't want a man to tell me to put my kids second and I don't want to date a man that would even consider putting me before his children. So it took 5 years of LDR...as long as he was treating me right and loving me right...I would have been able to go at least another month. LOL

I'm so afraid of the depression behind not working. He keeps telling me that he can't wait until he is working. I keep telling him that he needs to understand it will not be an overnight thing. I want him to gain a trade so he doesn't have to settle on anything. However, if he is happy working at a car detailing shop or collecting garbage or whatever...I will support his efforts. I just don't look forward to those days of longing for work and him moping around the house because he can't be the man and provide. I will just have to pray through that obstacle too.