Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[DaDa 1]

For the love of Saint Mary Agnes if people got something to say….. Say it already and stop beating around the bush. I can truly see why most woman have more males friends than woman. Sometimes woman can be so petty. I could have sworn I was a grown rass woman talking to grown rass people but I tell you who let the de pickneys pon de computer all day long? Its like move on already what’s done is done its ova!!!!!!

Edited July 9, 2009 by DaDa

[finesse 3]

For the love of Saint Mary Agnes if people got something to say….. Say it already and stop beating around the bush. I can truly see why most woman have more males friends than woman. Sometimes woman can be so petty. I could have sworn I was a grown rass woman talking to grown rass people but I tell you who let the de pickneys pon de computer all day long? Its like move on already what’s done is done its ova!!!!!!

what the hell are you talking about?

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Thank you for sharing JG.

Now, you know we don't always see eye to eye (probably NEVER will lol), but one thing I have ALWAYS admired about you is that you don't put up with bulls*it.....You are a strong woman, a caring woman and I know you will find a man worthy of you one day.

I think today is the day I spill my guts cause it fits this conversation. Those that already know this, thanks for listening to my vents and having such strong shoulders. Those who don't.....well, maybe this can help you one day.

Andre smoked weed in JA. Pretty regularly. He was in no way a deadbeat....he had a full-time job, took care of his family, and went out with friends. After much warning from me, and the fact that his sister had to pay the doctor to get her failed text fixed, he quit about 2 months before the medical and passed.

Fast forward to the US....it's expensive here. I'm the only one working and there are still residual LDR costs, additional ones, and the whole AOS/Green card thing going on. He bugged me enough that I gave him $40 a check to spend on it. Eventually, that wasn't enough "allowence". I started feeling like ####### by the things he was saying, so I caved. Got to $100 a check. In the drug world, that's not much. But, in the one paycheck world, it's tough. After failing a drug test for his first job interview, he eventually found a job. He started putting his own money towards his soon to be ever increasing habit. You know the drug laws here.....they can confiscate things if they so desire. I had lost so much in this LDR, I could not afford to lose anything else. I caught him lying.....smoking before work, in my car, DURING work, after work, around the clock. Wierd things started happening like major car problems only when he was driving, things missing, money missing, evidence of parties while I was at work but no one there when I got home. It turned into him working, smoking, and then falling asleep. I was alone and loney. I fought with him.....for him.....for a little over a year. We even had an incident where my cousin was mugged by someone who knew Andre's name and described me. Scary stuff.

He knew of my unhappiness with it all. He knew the consequences of getting caught. Hell, he was working up the management ladder at work. I kept warning there would be random drug tests eventually. The last straw was the day I came home to find him in the same room as my kids....him smoking and them watching a movie. I blew my top. Told him I was done. In the end, I chose not to engage in illegal activities and not to risk the lives of everyone I love and everything we have because of him. I gave him everything and he turned out not to be worthy of it. Not to even seem to care.

We began seperating the end of last year. At first it was cordial. It didn't end that way. I have not spoken to him in months. We can't even be near each other without the police involved anymore. 2 months ago, our divorce was final.

Don't mourn for me. I am fine. In fact, my friends and family will tell you I am happier today then I have been in a long time. I have moved on and life is good. I don't live every day in fear cause of his stupidity anymore. And, I'm not lonely anymore.

He lives in our old apartment and has a roughly 4 months pregnant girlfriend. I wish him the very best. I just don't want anything at all to do with him anymore. In fact, he was in the hospital for 2 weeks recently with sickle cell complications. I did not go visit him. My 17 year old (today!) son went to visit him. I told him if he was dying, call me and I would go up there. If not, sorry.

The moral of my story is if you have reservations about the drug issues now, please talk about them and work it out however it suits you. But, know your limits and think about the consequences. Drug usage in the US is a completely different thing then in JA. I don't know of a single JA man who truly understands that NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

[finesse 3]

Morning/Afternoon Yardies! (I always do that cause I'm on west coast time in case anyone wonders.)

I'm so tired today....we need a new & bigger bed. When I wake at night to tinkle, I usually get back in bed & fall right back to sleep....now it's two of us & when he gets back in bed, he fidgets for a half hour & I lose more sleep now than I did even before when I had bouts of insomnia. We need to figure out a way to make our sleep more sound because I'm already a grump in the mornings & when I'm tired, it's ten-fold! Then I hit snooze five times & by the last time, he's pushing me out of bed trying to help me & that just irritates me even more since he gets to lay there still. This morning I left the house grumpy & when he started to get up to give me a kiss I closed the door. What a meanie I am. When I got to work he called to apologize for trying to get me going by pushing me out of bed which was a sweet gesture (apologizing that is) but it's more than just that. I'm finding one of the biggest challenges is being the sole provider & not always feeling like I have enough help. Now he agreed that on as many nights as we can work out, he'll try & cook dinner so I don't have to come home & do all of that too. He's made some dinners but he's not familiar with the spices & ingredients so he's reluctant. We haven't had a chance to get across the bay to a Jamaican food store so I've been doing a lot of the cooking. He is always really good about 'pulling up his socks' (as his Granny used to say) when I tell him I need some help. I just need to relax a little & keep remembering that what he does may not be up to my standards (I'm particular about things) but at least he's trying. So there are our adjustment issues of the day.

Ells umm sweetie (as she scratches her head)… Thanks so much for sharing but its only been a little over a month that he has been here and your already complaining? Ahh uhh I can see who is spoiled…lol

I think your not upset about being the sole provider I think your jealous because he gets to lounge in your comfy bed for the remainder of the day while you have to get up and go to work. Admit it your jealous aren’t yuh??? LMFAO!!

I memba my soon to be X used to work the late shift 11pm to 730 am. By the time I was heading out the door he was climbing in the bed like see you later. I used to be so mad I wanted to shake him silly. I would do mean things like turn the radio on blast the t.v tell the kids to ask him for things not me and then I would purposely run late so he would have to get back out of bed and drive me to work in order for me to make it on time. I know I know mean of me but hey he shouldn’t have slept in front of me.

don't worry ells. i know the time until my husband got a job, i was a straight up beeyatch to him in the morning......

[finesse 3]

Morning/Afternoon Yardies! (I always do that cause I'm on west coast time in case anyone wonders.)

I'm so tired today....we need a new & bigger bed. When I wake at night to tinkle, I usually get back in bed & fall right back to sleep....now it's two of us & when he gets back in bed, he fidgets for a half hour & I lose more sleep now than I did even before when I had bouts of insomnia. We need to figure out a way to make our sleep more sound because I'm already a grump in the mornings & when I'm tired, it's ten-fold! Then I hit snooze five times & by the last time, he's pushing me out of bed trying to help me & that just irritates me even more since he gets to lay there still. This morning I left the house grumpy & when he started to get up to give me a kiss I closed the door. What a meanie I am. When I got to work he called to apologize for trying to get me going by pushing me out of bed which was a sweet gesture (apologizing that is) but it's more than just that. I'm finding one of the biggest challenges is being the sole provider & not always feeling like I have enough help. Now he agreed that on as many nights as we can work out, he'll try & cook dinner so I don't have to come home & do all of that too. He's made some dinners but he's not familiar with the spices & ingredients so he's reluctant. We haven't had a chance to get across the bay to a Jamaican food store so I've been doing a lot of the cooking. He is always really good about 'pulling up his socks' (as his Granny used to say) when I tell him I need some help. I just need to relax a little & keep remembering that what he does may not be up to my standards (I'm particular about things) but at least he's trying. So there are our adjustment issues of the day.

Ells umm sweetie (as she scratches her head)… Thanks so much for sharing but its only been a little over a month that he has been here and your already complaining? Ahh uhh I can see who is spoiled…lol

I think your not upset about being the sole provider I think your jealous because he gets to lounge in your comfy bed for the remainder of the day while you have to get up and go to work. Admit it your jealous aren’t yuh??? LMFAO!!

I memba my soon to be X used to work the late shift 11pm to 730 am. By the time I was heading out the door he was climbing in the bed like see you later. I used to be so mad I wanted to shake him silly. I would do mean things like turn the radio on blast the t.v tell the kids to ask him for things not me and then I would purposely run late so he would have to get back out of bed and drive me to work in order for me to make it on time. I know I know mean of me but hey he shouldn’t have slept in front of me.

isn't it about the 2-3 month time period that shyt starts to hit the fan????

[sus 70]

For the love of Saint Mary Agnes if people got something to say….. Say it already and stop beating around the bush. I can truly see why most woman have more males friends than woman. Sometimes woman can be so petty. I could have sworn I was a grown rass woman talking to grown rass people but I tell you who let the de pickneys pon de computer all day long? Its like move on already what’s done is done its ova!!!!!!

what the hell are you talking about?

Ditto

JG dont give up on Jamaican men or Jamaica I will give you some time and then you will start getting JA Fever.

from the sound of things sweetie, i don't think that will be the case...

Nope, I can vouch for that - It took me 4 years after my breakup to go back to Barbados - a place I LOVE and spent a lot of time - and I have met Bajan men since that I would not even consider dating - It's nothing against the men themselves - just too many cultural similarities that brought up memories I didn't want.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Sooooo.....the MINUTE we got back to the hotel last night, I rushed down and edited most of the pics of us. This morning, the baby managed to somehow get the memory card out of the camera and lose it!!

I would have DIED if I hadn't got most of the photos!!

Still lost some random pics and videos, but ah well.....

My husband NEVER looks at the camera if he can help it, before he met me,his last pic was probably 8-9 years ago. He let me take one or two for immigration purposes, but quickly stopped lol.....

Philly, anytime you're ready, I'm just in MD lol!!

[sus 70]

Love the pics, JAEng - I hear they had a break in at Mariners last night?

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Love the pics, JAEng - I hear they had a break in at Mariners last night?

Yup apparently someone left their ground floor room door open and a thief wandered in....not sure what they got...

[DaDa 1]

Nope, I can vouch for that - It took me 4 years after my breakup to go back to Barbados - a place I LOVE and spent a lot of time - and I have met Bajan men since that I would not even consider dating - It's nothing against the men themselves - just too many cultural similarities that brought up memories I didn't want.

Sus I take it you don’t like American men huh?? I think you’re like me and love the accent. LOL

I am dying to get to Barbados its just so darn expensive to fly there..

[sus 70]

Love the pics, JAEng - I hear they had a break in at Mariners last night?

Yup apparently someone left their ground floor room door open and a thief wandered in....not sure what they got...

Everything - Here is the report posted on n.com, from someone who is there - And a pretty regular and honest visitor -

At 3:50 A.M. yesterday, a ground floor Mariner's room was robbed. The people staying in the room were from Canada, Jamaicans visiting relatives/vacationing. The grandmother woke up to see a man going out the door just before 4 a.m. She screamed & then she, her daughter, & the teenage granddaughter locked the door & stayed in the room until almost 6 a.m. The daughter & teenager came to the front desk to report the break in & I was in the lobby. They were obviously very upset & distraught. The daughter had come in around 2 a.m. from visiting relatives. No visitors/guests were in their room. All doors were locked but the chain had not been put on the main entrance.

All money was taken, room & safe keys, cell phone (Canada cell phone, not Jamaica cell phone), and their laptop minus the power cord all gone. They were very concerned about whether or not their documents had been taken from the safe. A purse w/ •••••• in it was taken & discarded outside, close to the room. They did not call the front desk because they did not have a working phone. Apparently they had complained about it repeatedly (among other things not in working order... common w/ Mariner rooms from what I've been hearing)& in the 6 days they had been here... no repair (again, common w/ Mariner's). They discovered early on that the phone did not work because the cord was cut!

They must have been awfully scared because there's enough light to be out & about around 5 a.m. & they stayed in the room another hour. I guess we'd all react in different ways. When there was a break in next door to my room in 1988, the man in the room hopped off the balcony stark naked & chased after the thief. I don't think I'd go that far but I'd sure be yelling & making a commotion once the initial shock wore off. At least I'd like to think that's what I'd do. I hope I never have the experience of waking up to a stranger in my room making off w/ all my valuables.

They asked that the police be called but the hotel did not get on that right away. Eventually they did because their was a police car out front when I came back from the gym about 8:15 a.m. It wasn't there when I went over just after 7.

Nope, I can vouch for that - It took me 4 years after my breakup to go back to Barbados - a place I LOVE and spent a lot of time - and I have met Bajan men since that I would not even consider dating - It's nothing against the men themselves - just too many cultural similarities that brought up memories I didn't want.

Sus I take it you don’t like American men huh?? I think you’re like me and love the accent. LOL

I am dying to get to Barbados its just so darn expensive to fly there..

No problem whatsoever with American men - it just happened with my ex - Been travelling to JA since 1988 - DJ is the first JA I have gotten involved with who lives there - it just happened.

It's not that expensive to fly to BIM if you watch the flights - and they run the Best of Barbados deals in the fall, you can get hotel and air for around $499

Edited July 9, 2009 by sus

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Everything - Here is the report posted on n.com, from someone who is there - And a pretty regular and honest visitor -

I know her

The only thing I heard differently is that the door was unlocked. Was thinking that the burglar would have made a noise breaking into the room...Funny thing is, for the first 5 days, we were in a ground floor room where the telephone was dead too. Who knows, maybe the room was our old room.

shiiiit, I have TWO hearts??

[phillyfashionista 8]

For the love of Saint Mary Agnes if people got something to say….. Say it already and stop beating around the bush. I can truly see why most woman have more males friends than woman. Sometimes woman can be so petty. I could have sworn I was a grown rass woman talking to grown rass people but I tell you who let the de pickneys pon de computer all day long? Its like move on already what’s done is done its ova!!!!!!

Dada what is going on girl, I get busy for a while and I miss everything!

[sus 70]

I know her

The only thing I heard differently is that the door was unlocked. Was thinking that the burglar would have made a noise breaking into the room...Funny thing is, for the first 5 days, we were in a ground floor room where the telephone was dead too. Who knows, maybe the room was our old room.

shiiiit, I have TWO hearts??

Love the new sig picture - I have heard stories of break ins there in the past where people didn't hear anything until they woke up to someone in the room - I am a light sleeper, but DJ sleeps like the dead - someone could easily break in with him, I could see how it could happen -

[dancehallquana 5]

good afternoon all!

man i was hopping mad yesterday.. twc came to do my internet and do u know i kept losing connection and was on the phone w/ IT forever and a day and then this morning.. NO CONNECTION.. ugghhhh.. i am so frustrated and the guy kept trying to talk me out of canceling.. im sorry i don't want to do this everytime i wanna get on the internet.. PLUS ive heard horror stories about them so i might as well chalk up my losses i think..

i will have to just pay up the money i owe AT&T (svcs from my marriage were in my name.) and go w/ them.. so no internet for a minute.. what more.. i had no idea about cable internet vs dsl internet.. i thought it was ALL thru the phone soooo they turned off my bootleg cable>>>>>AGHHHHH..

lol, i really don't mind. but roger is at home w/ nothing but jayz, tupac and mavado and bob marley to keep him company LOL and on the cooking.. i hate to say, but roger cooks everday and has food ready when i get home, but i think thats just cuz its not too many american dishes he fancys so he'd rather cook..did ur guy cook alot in ja ells?? take it from somebody that doesn't cook much..thats a MAJOR adjustment LOL i dont' think ur being spoiled tho.. in life we have to feel like there is a checks and balances.. i know u can't work, but i have to FEEL like u are compensating SOMEWHERE for me to feel good about the arrangement..

I am telling u, as long as he keeps it up.. i don't mind roger being a househusband. i rather like it.. remember i am the NONDOMESTIC, BUT he has done all these things b4.. cooking, washing, using a dishwasher, taking out trash.. ur guy is from the country part of JA right??.. how is he retaining the info.. like u said u showed him how to wash dishes..is he washing them yet?? i know its alot for him, but stick to ur guns.. men in general (not just JA) can get comfortable w/ us "taking care of them"..