Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[finesse 3]

Jawi - To answer you questions - The act of still smoking knowing that it could possible jepodize {sp} our future here in the US...clearly means that he/she doesn't feel the scarfice is worth it. Once the petitioner has the NOA2 here..they should definitely, hands down, STOP. It will payoff in the long run. Then who do they turn to pay off the medical for being dirty? The petitioner.

I've seen people fail the test and the wife had to call the doctor to beg for a pay off.

I would not stay with that person if they didn't pass. It's a sign of huge disrespect...and COULD possible lead to other issues. Plus, personally I don't smoke and wouldn't want to the hassle of keeping out of the cops eyes here. It leads to nothing good. Just my two cents. Back to work for me.

KK

I agree 100% with KK...as soon as I got our NOA2 hubby stopped smoking...so he stopped smoking for 9mos before his medical in Nov...I wouldn't have stayed if he didn't listen cause he know the consequences if they found it in his system...

My husband gained weight too when he first came up here...he was about 140 in JA...but he lost it all...he use to weigh 150pounds when he first came up and now he dropped down to 136pounds...i told him its because he started smoking again...as soon as he started smoking heavy again he started losing weight and just didn't look as healthy as he did when he first came up...a lot of people told him that his looked change since he's been here but he don't want to listen...he thinks it just my way of nagging so he can stop...but the evidence is there...

CONGRATULATIONS NAT!!!!!!!!!!!...Been waiting to see your approval happen....

see I think that would be a huge problem for me. I wouldn't tolerate a man that only quit so he could get to the States...just because once that obstacle is out of the way...he won't see a reason not to do it again. A doesn't smoke...I have even offered to smoke with him just to see what he does...and he has refused every time. I don't smoke...so I don't know what I would have done if he had ever answered yes. LMAO.

I knew that we were okay when he called me one day a few years ago PISSED. His friends had made porridge and put the leaf in the porridge as it cooked...and he couldn't figure out why he felt funny and out of it. They all started laughing and rolling around on the ground thinking his reaction was funny. He cussed them out and refuses to eat with them now. So, now I don't test him to see if he really abstains or not.

My ex-husband swore me up and down that he didn't smoke anymore...then he got here and thought I wouldn't be able to tell that he had smoked. I told him don't put them smoke infested lips and tongue on me....go kiss his ashtray since he obviously loved it more. LOL

Jawi, the problem comes in trying to change him. If he did it before and you accepted it in JA, you can't very well say, OK, now, you are with me and you have to stop. You can warn them about the consequences in the US....the stricter drug laws.....drug tests for employment....especially the cost. But, it comes down to if you accepted it in JA are you trying to change them in the US. I know, I felt the same way...Just STOP. But, if you heard the flack you take from people who just bash the ####### out of you for "trying to change them after you accepted them like that in JA", you might change your position.

totally agree JG. this is something that needs to be discussed early on.....whether or not your man is a weed smoker and if so whether or not you can accept that. i would guess most people that smoked in JA, will smoke in the US too.

[phillyfashionista 8]

Congratsssss Nat!!

For the first time EVER I have a pic of the three of us, my husband HATES photos!!

Luvs it !

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

MD/DC/VA --

I love Beres Hammond, such a humbling person ---

http://www.wolftrap.com/Home/Find_Performa...0712show09.aspx

[*JG* 2]

Okay i was pissed the hell off two hours ago!!!!!! thinking i was caught up but was still in thread 15!!! so this is a double post...

Okay all caught up.... First of all where the hell is everybody???

second Dada n Hotlegz lmao yall need to stop i seen the both of yall pic's and neither one of yall are ugly so just stop it!!! i yuh want i can show yall sum ugly or less attractive ppl

third MY TRIP WAS AWESOME i had a blast! went to the jerk festival my friends met me on Thursday they all luvvvv J **kiss teeth** him try fi tek mi frenz away! I worked my #### off in my shoes all di gals either dem ah pree or rate me when i wore dem... It was so funny cause i mean the guys was going hard as soon as j look the other way i had them blowing kisses and acting up lmao i asked j if he was mad he was like no it make him feel good all the men ah pree his girl and im shutting all them down lol... i really had fun fun fun dis time i was truly myself i mean in the club singing all the songs dancing my azz off j was like oh so this is the Tee i been hearing about lol fun times mi ah sey... the only thing that pissed me off was the fact that j did not stop smoking yet like he was suppose to do last month after cussing him the hell out for a hour i came to the fact that i am not going to nagg him or bother myself about it he know what he needs to do to get what he wants so if smoking is that important than obviously im not! so mi caan manage nuh more stress and mi nuh bother wit dat so hopefully he would wise up! but all in all i had fun alot of laughing and smiling i so proud of myself cause when i use to leave before i use to be so dramatic but now i got it unda control I think j kinda miss me acting a fool in the airport cause he was like how come yu ah bawl fi Michael Jackson and nuh bawl at the airport nomore lol i thought that was cute

ohhhhhhhhh this is so late but here's and update on mi fren with the donkey pic on the net i left a comment under the pic asking the moderator to stop being so mean and to take it down because its a shame that you cant just go out and let loose a lil without being ridiculed and shockingly she took it down, my fren was so damn happy i was more like ummmm hummmmm whatever....

Welcome back Newly...glad the shoes earned their keep. So, I'm assuming you mean he won't stop smoking herb. I hope he knows to deny...deny...deny. You may want to pay to have him tested prior to him going to the medical too...hate for you to waste so much time and energy on the process...and he didn't stop..because then you know that you can reschedule/postpone the medical and interview for a while until his system is clean.

Let me ask a few questions: How many of you would stay with your man if he was restricted from entering the US for 3 years because of herb smoking? How many of you would stay with your man if he was banned in the US for 3/7/10 years for overstaying a visitors visa or work visa? How long would you wait for USCIS to approve the petition before you decided to give up or seek another alternative? How long would you stay in an LDR?

As u know this subject is very dear to me. Speaking for MY situation only, I decided to stay with my husband (then fiance) when he was denied for 3 years. I know I only did so because he tested negative, but he admitted to smoking many months earlier (they asked him had he EVER smoked b4). When I met him he didn't smoke like that, only on occasion, and the time that he referenced was during some big party. He knew from the beginning of our relationship that I was not into that, and I gave him the choice on whether he wanted to continue. For the most part he stopped, and since his denial he has not smoked at all. I didn't reallly think that he was a habitual smoker which is why I continued to be with him. Has it been easy--HELL MUTHA EFFIN NO!!! This has truly been the most difficult and trying 3 years of our lives, but we decided to do it together. He made a mistake (albeit one of his biggest mistakes EVER) but I had to eventually forgive him. But it's something we still talk about. How our lives have been affected. How are lives may still be affected in the future...we just pray and ask God for the strength to see this through until the end, and pray that this time around he will bless us with an approval. Now on the flip side, if my husband would've continued to smoke every day or every other day--even with knowing the potential consequences, and THEN he was denied--HELL NO--I wouldn't stay. Something as important as this I would hope that he could pull it together for. Plus, what happens when he gets to the US and it's time to start applying for jobs and he smokes like that? Most jobs I know do drug tests before hiring you, and some even do random drug tests once you're hired...plus, who's got time to be financially supporting their weed habit? That's taking $$ away from me and our family. It's all about thinking of the other person, and wanting to do better and be better not only for yourself, but for your spouse. You're supposed to be bringing each other up, not down---and if it causing you stress in ANY shape, way, or form, then it is bringing you down. I wish you guys luck, and I hope that at the end of the day you all can look at your SO's and feel like they have YOU ALL's best interests in mind...and that they are giving just as much in your relationship as you are giving to them....One love

You were the reason I put "(thus far)" in my post before. I just wasn't going to put it out there.

Pulling for you, Mrs. P. Always sending luck and prayers.

[*JG* 2]

Congratsssss Nat!!

For the first time EVER I have a pic of the three of us, my husband HATES photos!!

FINALLY!!!! Beautiful family, JAE.

[My4rmylife 0]

Morning Yardies, Big Congratulations to Nat.

I am Pleased to say that after much consideration, deliberation, thought, and prayer I have decided to GET MARRIED TOMMORROW. I know its kind of sudden so we are just going to do it courthouse style and forget all the big plans.

I am so happy for you

[DaDa 1]

omg.. i guess she catching up..

u know w/ steve mcnair's mistress.. i bet she didn't give any signs of this kind of behavior, its scary.. didn't kk mom say u don't want nobody to love u to death..

man.. adultery is reaping some high consequences these days.. the governor is still living thank God but political career just about done..

I wonder y when ever you cheat do you have to resign? Is it because they think your setting a bad example? I just noticed once a person gets busted they immediately resign. Well besides Clinton. He refused to give up his spot. LOL

[*JG* 2]

Morning Yardies, Big Congratulations to Nat.

I am Pleased to say that after much consideration, deliberation, thought, and prayer I have decided to GET MARRIED TOMMORROW. I know its kind of sudden so we are just going to do it courthouse style and forget all the big plans.

Congrats!

[sus 70]

Morning Yardies, Big Congratulations to Nat.

I am Pleased to say that after much consideration, deliberation, thought, and prayer I have decided to GET MARRIED TOMMORROW. I know its kind of sudden so we are just going to do it courthouse style and forget all the big plans.

Congrats!

Double congrats, I missed this - You two sorted everything out?

ATI info announced:

Dream Weekend season armbands cost J$9,500.

ATI season armbands cost J$9,000 and J$11,000. The sooner you buy a ticket, the better the price you get.

ATI

Aug 5-9

ATI Kick-off Party (Chances) - Wednesday night, August 5

Hip Hop J'Ouvert (Waves) - Thursday afternoon August 6

Tempted-Glow (Risky Business) - Thursday night, August 6

Pretty in Pink (Pink Paradice) - Friday afternoon, August 7

Rhythm and Booze (Waves) - Friday night, August 7

ATI Toga Party (Risky Business) - Friday night, August 7

Stages (Long Bay Beach Park) - Saturday afternoon, August 8

Jokers' Wild Colours (Long Bay Beach Park) - Saturday night, August 8

Appleton Temptation Live (Waves) - Saturday night, August 8

Wildsides (New Office of Nature) - Sunday afternoon, August 9

Fusion (Waves) - Sunday night, August 9

Dream Weekend

Aug 6-9

Absinthe (Margaritaville) - Thursday afternoon, August 6

Twisted Spiritz (Chances) - Thursday night, August 6

Day Dreams (Long Bay Beach Park) - Friday afternoon, August 7

Yush (Margaritaville) - Friday night, August 7

Xtreme Wet and Wild (Kool Runnings Water Park) - Saturday afternoon, August 8

Red Stripe Beer Vibes (Bourbon Beach) - Saturday night, August 8

Smirnoff Xclusive (Margaritaville) - Sunday, August 9

[My4rmylife 0]

Good morning everyone.. hope everyone has a great day

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

talking about the smoking thing; I know people who have gone through the process twice and tested positive both time. No, way I could survive that. They asked my husband 5 times if he's ever smoked and he said no, the doctor joked and said, man, a ow you eye dem so red and shinny...he told the doc he had allergies. The doctor was upfront and asked my husband if im bun ganga, he didn't even beat around the bush.

When I decided to get serious with my husband I asked him 5 simple questions

1) Are you married

2) Have you ever been locked up

3) Has anyone ever filed papers for you

4) Do you smoke

5) Do you have any children

What I have a problem with is the laid-back attitude once some men/women come to states. My cousin's husband has been here 2 years now and not working, why...cause im rass won't put done displif, bout it cleanse his soul. He tested positive the 1st time he went through the visa process, second time around his dumba$$ stopped smoking a month before the medical and by the grace of God his test came up clean and thought it was funny....bout seet deh a jah works!

[Lovesponge 0]

Morning Yardies, Big Congratulations to Nat.

I am Pleased to say that after much consideration, deliberation, thought, and prayer I have decided to GET MARRIED TOMMORROW. I know its kind of sudden so we are just going to do it courthouse style and forget all the big plans.

Congrats!

Double congrats, I missed this - You two sorted everything out?

ATI info announced:

Dream Weekend season armbands cost J$9,500.

ATI season armbands cost J$9,000 and J$11,000. The sooner you buy a ticket, the better the price you get.

ATI

Aug 5-9

ATI Kick-off Party (Chances) - Wednesday night, August 5

Hip Hop J'Ouvert (Waves) - Thursday afternoon August 6

Tempted-Glow (Risky Business) - Thursday night, August 6

Pretty in Pink (Pink Paradice) - Friday afternoon, August 7

Rhythm and Booze (Waves) - Friday night, August 7

ATI Toga Party (Risky Business) - Friday night, August 7

Stages (Long Bay Beach Park) - Saturday afternoon, August 8

Jokers' Wild Colours (Long Bay Beach Park) - Saturday night, August 8

Appleton Temptation Live (Waves) - Saturday night, August 8

Wildsides (New Office of Nature) - Sunday afternoon, August 9

Fusion (Waves) - Sunday night, August 9

Dream Weekend

Aug 6-9

Absinthe (Margaritaville) - Thursday afternoon, August 6

Twisted Spiritz (Chances) - Thursday night, August 6

Day Dreams (Long Bay Beach Park) - Friday afternoon, August 7

Yush (Margaritaville) - Friday night, August 7

Xtreme Wet and Wild (Kool Runnings Water Park) - Saturday afternoon, August 8

Red Stripe Beer Vibes (Bourbon Beach) - Saturday night, August 8

Smirnoff Xclusive (Margaritaville) - Sunday, August 9

Yes we did, he said what alot of you were saying he was just bored to death and the only connection he had to JA was his son so he called him everyday. He said he barely spoke to her only to answer the phone and talk about what his son needs, It took me a while but I do trust him and believe him. We came to an agreement that he can only talk to her when I am around and he says he is not gonna call her at all. Whatever

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

Jawi - To answer you questions - The act of still smoking knowing that it could possible jepodize {sp} our future here in the US...clearly means that he/she doesn't feel the scarfice is worth it. Once the petitioner has the NOA2 here..they should definitely, hands down, STOP. It will payoff in the long run. Then who do they turn to pay off the medical for being dirty? The petitioner.

I've seen people fail the test and the wife had to call the doctor to beg for a pay off.

I would not stay with that person if they didn't pass. It's a sign of huge disrespect...and COULD possible lead to other issues. Plus, personally I don't smoke and wouldn't want to the hassle of keeping out of the cops eyes here. It leads to nothing good. Just my two cents. Back to work for me.

KK

I agree 100% with KK...as soon as I got our NOA2 hubby stopped smoking...so he stopped smoking for 9mos before his medical in Nov...I wouldn't have stayed if he didn't listen cause he know the consequences if they found it in his system...

My husband gained weight too when he first came up here...he was about 140 in JA...but he lost it all...he use to weigh 150pounds when he first came up and now he dropped down to 136pounds...i told him its because he started smoking again...as soon as he started smoking heavy again he started losing weight and just didn't look as healthy as he did when he first came up...a lot of people told him that his looked change since he's been here but he don't want to listen...he thinks it just my way of nagging so he can stop...but the evidence is there...

CONGRATULATIONS NAT!!!!!!!!!!!...Been waiting to see your approval happen....

see I think that would be a huge problem for me. I wouldn't tolerate a man that only quit so he could get to the States...just because once that obstacle is out of the way...he won't see a reason not to do it again. A doesn't smoke...I have even offered to smoke with him just to see what he does...and he has refused every time. I don't smoke...so I don't know what I would have done if he had ever answered yes. LMAO.

I knew that we were okay when he called me one day a few years ago PISSED. His friends had made porridge and put the leaf in the porridge as it cooked...and he couldn't figure out why he felt funny and out of it. They all started laughing and rolling around on the ground thinking his reaction was funny. He cussed them out and refuses to eat with them now. So, now I don't test him to see if he really abstains or not.

My ex-husband swore me up and down that he didn't smoke anymore...then he got here and thought I wouldn't be able to tell that he had smoked. I told him don't put them smoke infested lips and tongue on me....go kiss his ashtray since he obviously loved it more. LOL

The reason why i tolerate it was because I never had a problem with him smoking when i was with him...because i met him as a smoker...hell i smoked with him when i would visit him...I'm not a smoker but a casual smoker if that makes any sense... ....I just needed him to stop so he can pass the test since its illegal...now the reason i complain now is because he is letting it consume him...I have told him countless time that i don't have a problem with you smoking but when i see that you let it take over your day to day things then its a problem...to me he smokes more that he is up here than he was in JA....he says its because its not as strong as it is in JA...which probably it is true...he could never finish one whole spliff by himself in JA...I would just get two pulls and i'm done... ...I was talking to him today about it when he was telling me that he lost weight and i just said you need to calm down with the smoking...you are just doing it too often and its probably affecting your eating habits...will see if he listens this time...

I PM'd you.

PM'd you back

if you accepted it in JA are you trying to change them in the US.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[*JG* 2]

I think today is the day I spill my guts cause it fits this conversation. Those that already know this, thanks for listening to my vents and having such strong shoulders. Those who don't.....well, maybe this can help you one day.

Andre smoked weed in JA. Pretty regularly. He was in no way a deadbeat....he had a full-time job, took care of his family, and went out with friends. After much warning from me, and the fact that his sister had to pay the doctor to get her failed text fixed, he quit about 2 months before the medical and passed.

Fast forward to the US....it's expensive here. I'm the only one working and there are still residual LDR costs, additional ones, and the whole AOS/Green card thing going on. He bugged me enough that I gave him $40 a check to spend on it. Eventually, that wasn't enough "allowence". I started feeling like ####### by the things he was saying, so I caved. Got to $100 a check. In the drug world, that's not much. But, in the one paycheck world, it's tough. After failing a drug test for his first job interview, he eventually found a job. He started putting his own money towards his soon to be ever increasing habit. You know the drug laws here.....they can confiscate things if they so desire. I had lost so much in this LDR, I could not afford to lose anything else. I caught him lying.....smoking before work, in my car, DURING work, after work, around the clock. Wierd things started happening like major car problems only when he was driving, things missing, money missing, evidence of parties while I was at work but no one there when I got home. It turned into him working, smoking, and then falling asleep. I was alone and loney. I fought with him.....for him.....for a little over a year. We even had an incident where my cousin was mugged by someone who knew Andre's name and described me. Scary stuff.

He knew of my unhappiness with it all. He knew the consequences of getting caught. Hell, he was working up the management ladder at work. I kept warning there would be random drug tests eventually. The last straw was the day I came home to find him in the same room as my kids....him smoking and them watching a movie. I blew my top. Told him I was done. In the end, I chose not to engage in illegal activities and not to risk the lives of everyone I love and everything we have because of him. I gave him everything and he turned out not to be worthy of it. Not to even seem to care.

We began seperating the end of last year. At first it was cordial. It didn't end that way. I have not spoken to him in months. We can't even be near each other without the police involved anymore. 2 months ago, our divorce was final.

Don't mourn for me. I am fine. In fact, my friends and family will tell you I am happier today then I have been in a long time. I have moved on and life is good. I don't live every day in fear cause of his stupidity anymore. And, I'm not lonely anymore.

He lives in our old apartment and has a roughly 4 months pregnant girlfriend. I wish him the very best. I just don't want anything at all to do with him anymore. In fact, he was in the hospital for 2 weeks recently with sickle cell complications. I did not go visit him. My 17 year old (today!) son went to visit him. I told him if he was dying, call me and I would go up there. If not, sorry.

The moral of my story is if you have reservations about the drug issues now, please talk about them and work it out however it suits you. But, know your limits and think about the consequences. Drug usage in the US is a completely different thing then in JA. I don't know of a single JA man who truly understands that NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I think today is the day I spill my guts cause it fits this conversation. Those that already know this, thanks for listening to my vents and having such strong shoulders. Those who don't.....well, maybe this can help you one day.

Andre smoked weed in JA. Pretty regularly. He was in no way a deadbeat....he had a full-time job, took care of his family, and went out with friends. After much warning from me, and the fact that his sister had to pay the doctor to get her failed text fixed, he quit about 2 months before the medical and passed.

Fast forward to the US....it's expensive here. I'm the only one working and there are still residual LDR costs, additional ones, and the whole AOS/Green card thing going on. He bugged me enough that I gave him $40 a check to spend on it. Eventually, that wasn't enough "allowence". I started feeling like ####### by the things he was saying, so I caved. Got to $100 a check. In the drug world, that's not much. But, in the one paycheck world, it's tough. After failing a drug test for his first job interview, he eventually found a job. He started putting his own money towards his soon to be ever increasing habit. You know the drug laws here.....they can confiscate things if they so desire. I had lost so much in this LDR, I could not afford to lose anything else. I caught him lying.....smoking before work, in my car, DURING work, after work, around the clock. Wierd things started happening like major car problems only when he was driving, things missing, money missing, evidence of parties while I was at work but no one there when I got home. It turned into him working, smoking, and then falling asleep. I was alone and loney. I fought with him.....for him.....for a little over a year. We even had an incident where my cousin was mugged by someone who knew Andre's name and described me. Scary stuff.

He knew of my unhappiness with it all. He knew the consequences of getting caught. Hell, he was working up the management ladder at work. I kept warning there would be random drug tests eventually. The last straw was the day I came home to find him in the same room as my kids....him smoking and them watching a movie. I blew my top. Told him I was done. In the end, I chose not to engage in illegal activities and not to risk the lives of everyone I love and everything we have because of him. I gave him everything and he turned out not to be worthy of it. Not to even seem to care.

We began seperating the end of last year. At first it was cordial. It didn't end that way. I have not spoken to him in months. We can't even be near each other without the police involved anymore. 2 months ago, our divorce was final.

Don't mourn for me. I am fine. In fact, my friends and family will tell you I am happier today then I have been in a long time. I have moved on and life is good. I don't live every day in fear cause of his stupidity anymore. And, I'm not lonely anymore.

He lives in our old apartment and has a roughly 4 months pregnant girlfriend. I wish him the very best. I just don't want anything at all to do with him anymore. In fact, he was in the hospital for 2 weeks recently with sickle cell complications. I did not go visit him. My 17 year old (today!) son went to visit him. I told him if he was dying, call me and I would go up there. If not, sorry.

The moral of my story is if you have reservations about the drug issues now, please talk about them and work it out however it suits you. But, know your limits and think about the consequences. Drug usage in the US is a completely different thing then in JA. I don't know of a single JA man who truly understands that NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.

.... JG it's my baby's b'day too today.