Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[Ellsinlove 2]

u know what jawi..ppl like that have to be SHOWN they aren't running things.. same thing u tell me, u affi tell A..

when my ex had my kids and refused to let me see them..i kept crying and pleading and sending what he requested (even money to pay the housenote after i had left and was in an apt). i was willing to do anything so he would let me see them.. in the end NONE of that worked.. he played me like a violin and when i was STILL not willing to take him back.. dashed away everything i had done as if it was NOTHING... i feel for A and it will be hard but he have to take her control away somehow.. i stopped paying ANYTHING but what could be paid for directly to school/daycare etc.. he called me a deadbeat, but hell he called me that anyway.. so who cares.. i didn't talk to my kids for weeks at a time cuz when he try to chat foolishness.. i hang up.. no more begging..

He called YOU a deadbeat while you were paying the housenote??!?

Oh, this topic today has me

[Ellsinlove 2]

In case anyone wants a good cry or that hard lump in your throat....here's the video from the dance the other night on So You Think You Can Dance:

http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/so-you-think-you-...r-fighters--487

[dancehallquana 5]

stupid me nuh ave no order for C/S.. he always did for his kids, i never had to worry about monetary things.. but now i see that was only cuz he thought there would be some sort of reconciliation..he told me he would help but since the divorce he has given me maybe $300.. when i get an order he would have to pay almost $700/mnth.. i NEVER asked for that.. i'm not trying to break him, i would have been happy with $300/mth honestly cuz i do well enough.. but i'll be dyamed if im gonna spend all my money to pay bills and u sitting over in the house and don't wanna help none, tell me i need to TELL u when they need something and u will go get it!! HELL NO

so di ppl will be on him and he won't like it.. but its his own fault..

you can get an order on an agreed upon amount.....doesn't have to be as much as they say

yep i know.. but he would have had a heart attack just to have it FORCIBLY taken from him so i backed down.. just to get it all over with... you remember TINA TURNER..and she said all she wanted was her stage name?? that was me.. i gave it all up.. for my kids .. i didn't want the 1 1/2 yr drama to continue..

but if i have to file to get u to help.. take off from work and ish???.. oh hells no.. i am gonna get ALL that i am due..

so the phock what? do you have a choice as to whether provide for your kids?? no, so your money is being forcibly taken from you too

LOL OKAY!!! by any means necessary i had to get SOLE CUSTODY.. i probably would do it all again the same way. i could not have had joint custody w/ that man.. he would have been dragging me thru the dirt behind those girls for the rest of my life..ja triips, schooling, everything would have been scrutinized by him.. NO WAY..

[jawi876 2]

i would like to believe that she will get over it eventually....maybe when she gets anew man or whatever but she really sounds like a piece a work!!!!

I think she just really loves him...and doesn't want to be the loser. I think it bothers her that she can't reduce our relationship down to a greencard opportunity. I hope she moves on eventually...I tried to step out of the way of their family...but I'm not moving aside any more. He made his choice. Period.

u know what jawi..ppl like that have to be SHOWN they aren't running things.. same thing u tell me, u affi tell A..

when my ex had my kids and refused to let me see them..i kept crying and pleading and sending what he requested (even money to pay the housenote after i had left and was in an apt). i was willing to do anything so he would let me see them.. in the end NONE of that worked.. he played me like a violin and when i was STILL not willing to take him back.. dashed away everything i had done as if it was NOTHING... i feel for A and it will be hard but he have to take her control away somehow.. i stopped paying ANYTHING but what could be paid for directly to school/daycare etc.. he called me a deadbeat, but hell he called me that anyway.. so who cares.. i didn't talk to my kids for weeks at a time cuz when he try to chat foolishness.. i hang up.. no more begging..

Quana, I talk to him about it until I'm blue in the face. It is really the only topic that we argue about. He feels that he has to do whatever it takes to make sure his girls are supported. He doesn't want to question what she does with the money...he would just rather go get more of it to give to her. I told him that she can pimp him all day long...but she won't pimp me. I will pay the school directly and buy grocery vouchers over the internet. The girls will get clothes in a barrel if I have to do it that way. At least I know that their basic needs are taken care of...let them call me or us one time talking about they are hungry...then it is my fight. He knows that I am a straight fool too. I will let him handle it...but his guilt over not being at home with them...will not make me feel like I owe her something.

I feel so bad for you in that situation. How in the world did the shoe get on the other foot? Usually women get custody first. I only know a handful of women that have to pay child support...you and Finesse being two of those now.

thats why i opted against c/s.. i didn't want it to be a deterrant for him to work (which i don't think he will do cuz he would die if he lost his house/cars/etc) or have a relationship w/ the kids.. sometimes its so much of an adverse effect that its not worth it.. so i tried to make an agreement between parents, once friends and lovers but THAT didn't work.. c'est la vie..

I tried it that way too. I even refused back child support after the judge said that he was paying too little, and awarded me the difference in what he did pay and what he should have paid. I refused it because we agreed on that amount, and I didn't think it was fair to go back on our agreement. Now, he is in arrears by about $20,000 or so (I lost count after a while)...and I'm not backing down on that. He will get a job eventually, and I want my child's money.

[finesse 3]

stupid me nuh ave no order for C/S.. he always did for his kids, i never had to worry about monetary things.. but now i see that was only cuz he thought there would be some sort of reconciliation..he told me he would help but since the divorce he has given me maybe $300.. when i get an order he would have to pay almost $700/mnth.. i NEVER asked for that.. i'm not trying to break him, i would have been happy with $300/mth honestly cuz i do well enough.. but i'll be dyamed if im gonna spend all my money to pay bills and u sitting over in the house and don't wanna help none, tell me i need to TELL u when they need something and u will go get it!! HELL NO

so di ppl will be on him and he won't like it.. but its his own fault..

you can get an order on an agreed upon amount.....doesn't have to be as much as they say

yep i know.. but he would have had a heart attack just to have it FORCIBLY taken from him so i backed down.. just to get it all over with... you remember TINA TURNER..and she said all she wanted was her stage name?? that was me.. i gave it all up.. for my kids .. i didn't want the 1 1/2 yr drama to continue..

but if i have to file to get u to help.. take off from work and ish???.. oh hells no.. i am gonna get ALL that i am due..

so the phock what? do you have a choice as to whether provide for your kids?? no, so your money is being forcibly taken from you too

LOL OKAY!!! by any means necessary i had to get SOLE CUSTODY.. i probably would do it all again the same way. i could not have had joint custody w/ that man.. he would have been dragging me thru the dirt behind those girls for the rest of my life..ja triips, schooling, everything would have been scrutinized by him.. NO WAY..

good thing you dumped his azz

[J2A♥oasis 2]

Dang yall are really chatting some interesting stuff today I am stuck in spreadsheet hell UGHHHH. My Manager is the best he called from NYC and told me to leave early but I am swamped but I can do this from home he he. I will catch up tonight. Latah Ladies! Have a Great Weekend, I am going to find me some excitement this weekend I swear, summer has been so boring since I am not traveling !!

Later Philly, link me we'll do something this weekend!

[dancehallquana 5]

The kids suffer the most. I want to buy them things...but now she won't even let them wear stuff I buy. I wonder if she will turn down my money too? I don't want to bash this woman...but this subject just boils me. I know he is not just telling me stuff...because I have been there to experience it with him. He talks to her in front of me...and he knows that I understand patois...he put her on speakerphone when she told him to come home and be a family again then he can see the girls everyday. Then, she asked him if she had to pay him to phock her.

She can't make him change his mind about being with her...so she uses the girls. I don't want to take her place as mommy (not much anyway LOL) so we will try for a visitor's visa for them both. Hopefully, she will grow to accept or allow that at least. I know he is going to miss them...so be prepared for me asking for advice.

i would like to believe that she will get over it eventually....maybe when she gets anew man or whatever but she really sounds like a piece a work!!!!

One would hope so. But I have heard of too many like her that don’t even move on then. They have new relationships and more kids and still after the one that don’t want them. Then one recently destroyed her own marriage b/c finally her husband was like you obviously still want your ex what am I here for. He left her with their new baby and she worrying the first ex that now she got 2 kids to take care of so she need more money from him.

that will be my ex' s new wife.. i feel so sorry for his gf.. cuz he try and do EVERYTING w/ her but still asks me to come back???

he would ACCIDENTLY leave his email msgs open where he tells her he will consult her b4 seeing me and we was still living in the same house cuz he wouldn't let me leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am telling ya'll love or loss of love is a powerful thing.. how can ppl think they can manipulate others into loving them.. A tried it w/ the ex again.. it didn't work out.. now move on DANG

[dancehallquana 5]

bye philly!! u better get out of the garden and DO somthing this weekend..u don't have to travel to have fun!!

[finesse 3]

i would like to believe that she will get over it eventually....maybe when she gets anew man or whatever but she really sounds like a piece a work!!!!

I think she just really loves him...and doesn't want to be the loser. I think it bothers her that she can't reduce our relationship down to a greencard opportunity. I hope she moves on eventually...I tried to step out of the way of their family...but I'm not moving aside any more. He made his choice. Period.

u know what jawi..ppl like that have to be SHOWN they aren't running things.. same thing u tell me, u affi tell A..

when my ex had my kids and refused to let me see them..i kept crying and pleading and sending what he requested (even money to pay the housenote after i had left and was in an apt). i was willing to do anything so he would let me see them.. in the end NONE of that worked.. he played me like a violin and when i was STILL not willing to take him back.. dashed away everything i had done as if it was NOTHING... i feel for A and it will be hard but he have to take her control away somehow.. i stopped paying ANYTHING but what could be paid for directly to school/daycare etc.. he called me a deadbeat, but hell he called me that anyway.. so who cares.. i didn't talk to my kids for weeks at a time cuz when he try to chat foolishness.. i hang up.. no more begging..

Quana, I talk to him about it until I'm blue in the face. It is really the only topic that we argue about. He feels that he has to do whatever it takes to make sure his girls are supported. He doesn't want to question what she does with the money...he would just rather go get more of it to give to her. I told him that she can pimp him all day long...but she won't pimp me. I will pay the school directly and buy grocery vouchers over the internet. The girls will get clothes in a barrel if I have to do it that way. At least I know that their basic needs are taken care of...let them call me or us one time talking about they are hungry...then it is my fight. He knows that I am a straight fool too. I will let him handle it...but his guilt over not being at home with them...will not make me feel like I owe her something.

I feel so bad for you in that situation. How in the world did the shoe get on the other foot? Usually women get custody first. I only know a handful of women that have to pay child support...you and Finesse being two of those now.

thats why i opted against c/s.. i didn't want it to be a deterrant for him to work (which i don't think he will do cuz he would die if he lost his house/cars/etc) or have a relationship w/ the kids.. sometimes its so much of an adverse effect that its not worth it.. so i tried to make an agreement between parents, once friends and lovers but THAT didn't work.. c'est la vie..

I tried it that way too. I even refused back child support after the judge said that he was paying too little, and awarded me the difference in what he did pay and what he should have paid. I refused it because we agreed on that amount, and I didn't think it was fair to go back on our agreement. Now, he is in arrears by about $20,000 or so (I lost count after a while)...and I'm not backing down on that. He will get a job eventually, and I want my child's money.

i don't pay c/s...he pays me. before our divorce was final, my son stayed temporarily with him....i mean very temporary...like less than a month

[dancehallquana 5]

remeber jawi, it wasn't ordered custody.. when i left him, i took the kids and he never returned them from one of their visits.. becuz we weren't divorced, i couldn't do anything about it.. perhaps kidnap them again from him.. then him do it to me again.. so i grinned and beared it, paying money just to "quiet the beast" and hope i could come to some agreement while we were waiting on the divorce to come thru..

i know EXACTLY what A is going thru and its DISGUSTING.. we try to consider our kids but when the person who has them is just USING them.. u are helpless but to do what they say... at least i could get sole custody.. i really hope A can get some closure to all of this..

[jawi876 2]

i don't pay c/s...he pays me. before our divorce was final, my son stayed temporarily with him....i mean very temporary...like less than a month

Ooops...I misread...that's how rumors get started. LOL

[finesse 3]

remeber jawi, it wasn't ordered custody.. when i left him, i took the kids and he never returned them from one of their visits.. becuz we weren't divorced, i couldn't do anything about it.. perhaps kidnap them again from him.. then him do it to me again.. so i grinned and beared it, paying money just to "quiet the beast" and hope i could come to some agreement while we were waiting on the divorce to come thru..

i know EXACTLY what A is going thru and its DISGUSTING.. we try to consider our kids but when the person who has them is just USING them.. u are helpless but to do what they say... at least i could get sole custody.. i really hope A can get some closure to all of this..

i agree....it is so effing disgusting...i hate people like that

[NatPatBen 3]

KK, At work, I keep my cell phone on beep once + vibrate. I am very atuned to that beep & hear it, but others don't.

Finesse, you asked who has weekend plans. I do!!!!!!!!!!

KK, Steven also got a letter of recommendation from an employer in JA, to use when he gets to the US.

Bunz, JG loves softball games for more than the sport.

Bunz, I also forget to add volume back to my cell phone & miss lots of calls/texts in the evening.

Finesse, I was thinking about a restaurant job for Steven, if he has trouble finding something more technical. I just don't want him working every weekend night.

Ells, I packed a week ago.

Sus, I didn't really get that diagram you posted. I'll have to do more research when the time comes.

Finesse, I also did a double-take at the date of atsleumas's comment about about the water park. Guess she wants to understand us more & is going way back.

Finesse, was the #1 poster *Len*? That guy/girl stays at the top of the posters list.

HeavenSent, I enjoyed your FB pics.

[dancehallquana 5]

i would like to believe that she will get over it eventually....maybe when she gets anew man or whatever but she really sounds like a piece a work!!!!

I think she just really loves him...and doesn't want to be the loser. I think it bothers her that she can't reduce our relationship down to a greencard opportunity. I hope she moves on eventually...I tried to step out of the way of their family...but I'm not moving aside any more. He made his choice. Period.

u know what jawi..ppl like that have to be SHOWN they aren't running things.. same thing u tell me, u affi tell A..

when my ex had my kids and refused to let me see them..i kept crying and pleading and sending what he requested (even money to pay the housenote after i had left and was in an apt). i was willing to do anything so he would let me see them.. in the end NONE of that worked.. he played me like a violin and when i was STILL not willing to take him back.. dashed away everything i had done as if it was NOTHING... i feel for A and it will be hard but he have to take her control away somehow.. i stopped paying ANYTHING but what could be paid for directly to school/daycare etc.. he called me a deadbeat, but hell he called me that anyway.. so who cares.. i didn't talk to my kids for weeks at a time cuz when he try to chat foolishness.. i hang up.. no more begging..

Quana, I talk to him about it until I'm blue in the face. It is really the only topic that we argue about. He feels that he has to do whatever it takes to make sure his girls are supported. He doesn't want to question what she does with the money...he would just rather go get more of it to give to her. I told him that she can pimp him all day long...but she won't pimp me. I will pay the school directly and buy grocery vouchers over the internet. The girls will get clothes in a barrel if I have to do it that way. At least I know that their basic needs are taken care of...let them call me or us one time talking about they are hungry...then it is my fight. He knows that I am a straight fool too. I will let him handle it...but his guilt over not being at home with them...will not make me feel like I owe her something.

I feel so bad for you in that situation. How in the world did the shoe get on the other foot? Usually women get custody first. I only know a handful of women that have to pay child support...you and Finesse being two of those now.

thats why i opted against c/s.. i didn't want it to be a deterrant for him to work (which i don't think he will do cuz he would die if he lost his house/cars/etc) or have a relationship w/ the kids.. sometimes its so much of an adverse effect that its not worth it.. so i tried to make an agreement between parents, once friends and lovers but THAT didn't work.. c'est la vie..

I tried it that way too. I even refused back child support after the judge said that he was paying too little, and awarded me the difference in what he did pay and what he should have paid. I refused it because we agreed on that amount, and I didn't think it was fair to go back on our agreement. Now, he is in arrears by about $20,000 or so (I lost count after a while)...and I'm not backing down on that. He will get a job eventually, and I want my child's money.

i don't pay c/s...he pays me. before our divorce was final, my son stayed temporarily with him....i mean very temporary...like less than a month

i really didj't have to.. thats why u stopped.. he was playing the victim and telling my kids i don't wanna come home and be a family and ish so FORGET YOU.. u wanna be the big man then take care of them urself..u think imma be LETTING u steal them, AND pay u and u still talking ish??? i stopped paying anything and felt soo bad, but he had to learn he wasn't running NOTHING..

[Ellsinlove 2]

Just got this e-mail & it was pretty funny so had to share...

Oh you will smile through this....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is great. Got to love that kid.

Times flies! The kid in the video, Brian, passed away in Oct., 2008. Must have been in his late 50's, early 60's. I'm sure all of you are old enough to Remember Tennesse Ernie Ford.

Go to the link below and watch this as Tennessee Ernie Ford sings with his son Brian sitting by him. Watch it all the way to the end, it’s great!

For those of you who remember this great voice, I submit to you Mr. Tennessee Ernie Ford, and his son Brian, performing on Television back in the 50's. Brian really gets with it, and almost breaks up his Dad. This is priceless....

http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Videos...nernieford.html