Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[Jengles 0]

i say jamaican men because i have not had any experience with other men

but hearing so many of you talking about your men caring for their children is a shock to me honestly

your men are gems, they are exceptions

there are waaaaaay too many men who beleive its ok to just throw money at your child and not take care of them

its almost the norm that when they go away they will send money once in a while....and that's it

I have baby fathers that feel the same way...throw some $$ my way and they are a GREAT father. I could care less about the $$ because I will get out and work to provide for my babies. Yes, I won't sneeze at $$ contributions...but my oldest son's father has not paid a dime in CS in about 6 years...even with a child support order. I have not tried to have him locked up...because in the last 2 years, he has made a conscious effort to be in his son's life. They are bonding now...however, I still think the damage is already done.

When I talked to my kids about A coming to live with us. My oldest said "It's cool. I'm not used to my Dad being around anyway...so it will just go back to normal."

Now as far as my Jamaican man...I have seen and heard him beg to see his daughters. He went to Canada to work trying to provide for his girls. His roommates told me that he was at Western Union faithfully every month. They were actually upset because he would send an entire paycheck to her...and keep the other one for the month to pay bills in Canada, and he never had money to go out with them. Even with sending her $600 a month...she wouldn't even let him hear their voices over the phone. His family went to check on them for him, and she got into a fight with his mother...still refused to let him know anything about them. You know why she was doing all of this...because she thought he came to farrin with me.

He asked her if he could bring them to Canada with him...the answer was no. I watched him breakdown because he missed them so much with my own eyes. She told him if he wanted to come home and be a family then he would see his girls everyday.

How does a baby at the age of 3 know that daddy doesn't care about them anymore since he went to farrin and he doesn't put money in their bank book, or daddy didn't send nuff pretty clothes and slippas for her to touch the road? That's not a child speaking....that is a child repeating. His mother told me this...that his kids were saying this in public while he was in Canada working for them. What happened to the money? Why were they still hungry? I know $600 is not much...but it makes a dent every month if she was helping make ends meet.

$600 is ALOT.. ex mek GOOD salary and mi nuh get dat.. mi guh affi put di ppl pon him rass!

it doesn't matter how much u do.. if the person have a vendetta against u.. there is no redemption, but A can't let her make him feel no way.. his kids will know the truth.. im sure they already are learning now that he is spending time w/ them in JA

exactly, cause he could have left her for someone in j.a.

you all are bad all now i haven't put insurance on mr jengs mini-van...

[dancehallquana 5]

jengy mi si yuh wah gwaan

mi deh yah!!!

I just feel like i'm running all the time, putting out fires. mr jengs and the van had me going over the moon.

now u hail me up...help me out with some advice nuh...

yuh done know mi dey yah anytime..link mi..u dash wey mi #

Kimmy...."that's why I love you"

thank you QUANA for giving me some advice cause if is was kimmy mi a wait pon, mi would have dead...

anyhoo - now responding to Quana's advice " look bout two pages back Kimmy and you will see my posts"

she calls him on his cellphone..first she used to call him about anything..she actually called my house once at 1am to tell him how someone who wasn't even related to him had died. but now she has the child call. mr jengs does for the child. I tried to be patient then i had to cuss and cussed everyone, as far as I see mr jengs doesn't encourage her but I think 10pm on a saturday is a bit much. Once when I asked her why she call so much and she said she don't want to deny the little girl her father...

that mama know she ain't right..if my kids ask about their dad.. i know enough to tell them we will call 2moro if its too late.. she is not denying them their father by having good sense and manners..sounds like she is trying to send a msg.. "they can call whenever they like it"

if its gonna cause strife w/ mr if u make a stink about it, and u've already told him how u feel and he doesn't see it that way.. come on good advice givers!

[finesse 3]

i say jamaican men because i have not had any experience with other men

but hearing so many of you talking about your men caring for their children is a shock to me honestly

your men are gems, they are exceptions

there are waaaaaay too many men who beleive its ok to just throw money at your child and not take care of them

its almost the norm that when they go away they will send money once in a while....and that's it

I have baby fathers that feel the same way...throw some $$ my way and they are a GREAT father. I could care less about the $$ because I will get out and work to provide for my babies. Yes, I won't sneeze at $$ contributions...but my oldest son's father has not paid a dime in CS in about 6 years...even with a child support order. I have not tried to have him locked up...because in the last 2 years, he has made a conscious effort to be in his son's life. They are bonding now...however, I still think the damage is already done.

When I talked to my kids about A coming to live with us. My oldest said "It's cool. I'm not used to my Dad being around anyway...so it will just go back to normal."

Now as far as my Jamaican man...I have seen and heard him beg to see his daughters. He went to Canada to work trying to provide for his girls. His roommates told me that he was at Western Union faithfully every month. They were actually upset because he would send an entire paycheck to her...and keep the other one for the month to pay bills in Canada, and he never had money to go out with them. Even with sending her $600 a month...she wouldn't even let him hear their voices over the phone. His family went to check on them for him, and she got into a fight with his mother...still refused to let him know anything about them. You know why she was doing all of this...because she thought he came to farrin with me.

He asked her if he could bring them to Canada with him...the answer was no. I watched him breakdown because he missed them so much with my own eyes. She told him if he wanted to come home and be a family then he would see his girls everyday.

How does a baby at the age of 3 know that daddy doesn't care about them anymore since he went to farrin and he doesn't put money in their bank book, or daddy didn't send nuff pretty clothes and slippas for her to touch the road? That's not a child speaking....that is a child repeating. His mother told me this...that his kids were saying this in public while he was in Canada working for them. What happened to the money? Why were they still hungry? I know $600 is not much...but it makes a dent every month if she was helping make ends meet.

wicked wicked ooman!!

don't people realize that the children are the ones getting hurt here????

[^KK^ 3]

Where is my fourth heart?

[dancehallquana 5]

its been a long time since we had some new filers come to the yardie thread... why ya nuh go invite some new ppl dem finesse?? or maybe u run dem all off wid ur spy talk..

lurkers doan undastand our sarcasm so when they read a little of this thread, they say fock this and gaane

Dats why u mus go play ambassador and invite dem so dem feel comfortable.. who ago be di ambassador.. kk, ive seen u invite some ppl and u too sus.. are ya'll on ya'll job.. we nuh ave nuh freshman in mnths!!!!

[finesse 3]

its been a long time since we had some new filers come to the yardie thread... why ya nuh go invite some new ppl dem finesse?? or maybe u run dem all off wid ur spy talk..

lurkers doan undastand our sarcasm so when they read a little of this thread, they say fock this and gaane

Dats why u mus go play ambassador and invite dem so dem feel comfortable.. who ago be di ambassador.. kk, ive seen u invite some ppl and u too sus.. are ya'll on ya'll job.. we nuh ave nuh freshman in mnths!!!!

ow bout new one tiday?...chat bout lawyer

[^KK^ 3]

Dang..I have 203 post for next heart.

[^KK^ 3]

its been a long time since we had some new filers come to the yardie thread... why ya nuh go invite some new ppl dem finesse?? or maybe u run dem all off wid ur spy talk..

lurkers doan undastand our sarcasm so when they read a little of this thread, they say fock this and gaane

Dats why u mus go play ambassador and invite dem so dem feel comfortable.. who ago be di ambassador.. kk, ive seen u invite some ppl and u too sus.. are ya'll on ya'll job.. we nuh ave nuh freshman in mnths!!!!

Go head Quana. ..click on Portals the new members are there.

[finesse 3]

Dang..I have 203 post for next heart.

i'm gonna get my one soon

[dancehallquana 5]

My mom was asking me yesterday if I was waiting til I'm 40 to have kids. I told her to just say it straight..she want more grandkids.

mi nuh sey a ting bout ie.. when YOU a breed is a question like.. when di world ago end.. nuh wrack yuh brain ca ya nuh knoa till ie appen!!!

Edited July 24, 2009 by dancehallquana

[finesse 3]

My mom was asking me yesterday if I was waiting til I'm 40 to have kids. I told her to just say it straight..she want more grandkids.

mi nuh sey a ting bout ie.. when YOU a breed is a question like.. when di world ago end.. nuh wrack yuh brain ca ya nuh knoa till ie appen!!!

kk - follow di diagram if u not sure ow it go

quana, kk, and me top 20 posters list for today

[jawi876 2]

$600 is ALOT.. ex mek GOOD salary and mi nuh get dat.. mi guh affi put di ppl pon him rass!

it doesn't matter how much u do.. if the person have a vendetta against u.. there is no redemption, but A can't let her make him feel no way.. his kids will know the truth.. im sure they already are learning now that he is spending time w/ them in JA

Wow! Quana you get less than that per child or total? I'm supposed to get $450 from one and $600 from the other a month. Do I get a dime? Nope. LOL My oldest son's father had the nerve to say he was paying my mortgage and bills with $450 a month. I showed him my bonus this year, and said come again about how you paying my bills? I make GOOD money man...and I go to work every freaking day. You will NOT get credit for my hard work. Everything your son has wanted to do or try...I PAID for...not you. Your money barely paid for daycare expenses butthole. Now, his tune is changed since he is staying here and realizes how much it costs to keep my household running. He is singing my praises now. LOL

Quana that was the reason I broke up with him, and I posted that we had split amicably. I couldn't bare thinking that I was the reason he couldn't see his kids. I told him that he needs to do whatever is best for his girls. and we would always be friends...but I wouldn't share him. I'm not afraid to be honest...he went back to Jamaica that first time and tried to see if they could make it work for the girls. It didn't work, and he knows now that she will continue to try and use his kids to get him back.

We made the decision together to give him some time with the girls before he came here...well he has only been allowed to see them in the last two weeks during the day because she is in school now. He is grateful for what ever time he gets...and I hear the joy in his voice as he tries to keep them out of one thing or another. The youngest one is so funny...she has a lot of fight in her...and she knows that she had daddy wrapped around her finger.

The love he has for his kids is what I fell in love with first. It was a rarity from my limited experience. I can only recall about 3 friends growing up that had both and mother and father at home...or a father that was still present. So it impressed the heck out of me.

My kids father's think that if I don't want them...they don't have to be fathers anymore. It's so sad.

[finesse 3]

Does anyone have any job searching tips for my hubby? How did you or your spouse go about getting employment with no experience in the US?

He has submitted so many applications. I want to know if there is something else we should try.

Are there any temporary employment agencies in your area? Great place to start for anyone just starting out really, they can hire for all types of industries with no experience/entry level positions which will gain then experience. Temp positions can also turn into permanent positions and even if they are only temp positions being registered with the one place with time can build a reputation of longevity in work history.

He's going to try that next week.

I'm really on this helping get a job kick now. He is really not feeling the stay at home Dad (to the puppy- Kimmy- is going to kissteet at this lol..) and want to be working and going to school now.

afta mi no blame di man..

My mom was asking me yesterday if I was waiting til I'm 40 to have kids. I told her to just say it straight..she want more grandkids.

kk - your husband nah pressure u bout it?

[dancehallquana 5]

its been a long time since we had some new filers come to the yardie thread... why ya nuh go invite some new ppl dem finesse?? or maybe u run dem all off wid ur spy talk..

lurkers doan undastand our sarcasm so when they read a little of this thread, they say fock this and gaane

Dats why u mus go play ambassador and invite dem so dem feel comfortable.. who ago be di ambassador.. kk, ive seen u invite some ppl and u too sus.. are ya'll on ya'll job.. we nuh ave nuh freshman in mnths!!!!

ow bout new one tiday?...chat bout lawyer

yeah.. she a one.. she need some classmates..

kk.. mi see dem.. mi jus not as nice as u and finesse and sus LOL

[finesse 3]

$600 is ALOT.. ex mek GOOD salary and mi nuh get dat.. mi guh affi put di ppl pon him rass!

it doesn't matter how much u do.. if the person have a vendetta against u.. there is no redemption, but A can't let her make him feel no way.. his kids will know the truth.. im sure they already are learning now that he is spending time w/ them in JA

Wow! Quana you get less than that per child or total? I'm supposed to get $450 from one and $600 from the other a month. Do I get a dime? Nope. LOL My oldest son's father had the nerve to say he was paying my mortgage and bills with $450 a month. I showed him my bonus this year, and said come again about how you paying my bills? I make GOOD money man...and I go to work every freaking day. You will NOT get credit for my hard work. Everything your son has wanted to do or try...I PAID for...not you. Your money barely paid for daycare expenses butthole. Now, his tune is changed since he is staying here and realizes how much it costs to keep my household running. He is singing my praises now. LOL

Quana that was the reason I broke up with him, and I posted that we had split amicably. I couldn't bare thinking that I was the reason he couldn't see his kids. I told him that he needs to do whatever is best for his girls. and we would always be friends...but I wouldn't share him. I'm not afraid to be honest...he went back to Jamaica that first time and tried to see if they could make it work for the girls. It didn't work, and he knows now that she will continue to try and use his kids to get him back.

We made the decision together to give him some time with the girls before he came here...well he has only been allowed to see them in the last two weeks during the day because she is in school now. He is grateful for what ever time he gets...and I hear the joy in his voice as he tries to keep them out of one thing or another. The youngest one is so funny...she has a lot of fight in her...and she knows that she had daddy wrapped around her finger.

The love he has for his kids is what I fell in love with first. It was a rarity from my limited experience. I can only recall about 3 friends growing up that had both and mother and father at home...or a father that was still present. So it impressed the heck out of me.

My kids father's think that if I don't want them...they don't have to be fathers anymore. It's so sad.

why not?