Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part16)

[Jengles 0]

Here I am all late but trying to contribute - first let me just put it out there mr jengs has six kids including mine and he works like a dog trying to support them. He worked twenty-four hours yesterday he went in 11pm Wed night and came off 11pm last night.

Two of mr jengs kids are coming up here next month - their mom is deceased. their grandmother works. Nobody else works. At this point i'm not working but i contribute. everybody else calls him for everything.

I get along with everybody else except one baby mother and that is because she still wants to be with him. whatever.

One of the other girls moms wants me to file for her. I feel sorry for that child the most out of all the kids. I had all the girls except one (guess who) when I was in j.a. and this little girl when her sisters left the table would stay and eat everything on her plate very slowly. *sigh* we will but we are going to do the I-130 for her. She was #1 in her class. so I sent her $25.00 yesterday so she can go to the beach and get KFC.

I do wish the mothers were able to contribute something, but one of them is going to school for tourism. I actually stole a menu from jamaica grande to help her with a school assignment. lol

UPdate: about the school thing. the school is going to give her a 4th grade test which is given to third graders to see if they are ready for 4th grade. If she fails she will be placed in the third grade. which I think is fair.

[jawi876 2]

Hotlegz i have to agree with KK

most jamaican men are not stepping up to the plate

Are the not stepping up because they just won't...or can't?

Jaws..ur never a bandwagoner in my eyes..if mi sey something u disagree with u no fraid fi say it...

I will jump on that bandwagon and agree once again. LOL

if u don't live in ja, guess u wouldn't know, u can only go on stories or media. i get surprised to see a man PERIOD having custody of his child here or there.. its just not the norm in my experiences.. men have been the ones im used to seeing running off, not vice versa.

but i am seeing men more and more taking on the responsibility.. so i guess its not such a taboo anymore..

watever kk.. ryan is a sweetheart... i would take his samples

I with you Quana...I was shocked to see so many Jamaican men taking care of their kids when I first started going to Jamaica. Not because of a preconceived notion about Jamaicans, but because it is not the norm in African American society. I know that there are a lot of African American men taking care of their children. These types of conversations are always dangerous because either you sound like a sterotype or you are disclaiming your opinion to death.

This last statement did NOT sound good Quana. I would be a little piss about you wanting my husband's samples. LMAO

[^KK^ 3]

I wrote a paper in college about perceptions, more about race than baby fathers. And most of the time, people formed their opinions about race based on their perception. Is it wrong? Of course. Are people human? Yes, and people generally form opinions on what they have seen. A open minded person would be open to not accepting only their perception but see what others perceive.

I grew up with both my Mom and Dad in the same household all of my aunts and uncles were married before they had kids. But once I get out of my house and talked with my friends..a lot of them didn't have either a mother or father supporting them. Some even lived with their grandparents. So my perception could easily be based on one side..my home life which I know...or what my friends experienced. I never passed judgement on anyone..I just came to the realization that their more fathers in Jamaica that take full responsible of their kids. Even in the States where the facts which states that 49% of African American child are without fathers. If I was to only based on my perception, I would think the stats were wrong. Me and all my brothers had our fathers in our lives. That's what I know.

[dancehallquana 5]

Wow...thanks guys for the responses to my question. It just seems to me that the situation between who lives where & why can get very sticky. I guess it just comes down to communication, listening, and evaluating all the time. And mi beg yuh fi please listen to di pickney dem. Dem nah waan come, or if dem come and nuh like, what is di likelihood that they will grow to be the productive, responsible, good pickney/adults that we hope and dream they will be? Good luck to all of you who are in these situations, and God bless. It's very brave and courageous on everyone's part involved!

thats true mrs p.. i was talking to roger bout that exact same thing.. him say.. the kids can't wait to come.. i told him.. thats cuz its new and exciting.. after a while reality will come into play and they may change their minds.. of course there will be a normal adjustment period, but if they are just miserable then i think we should rethink..

[^KK^ 3]

Okay, on to my next meeting for the day -

alright later sus.. and i know that picture wasn't for my post.. but it'll work

see kk, imagine that dinosaur offering u a new face cream

is your husband ugly?

Yep

don't apply for dat one then..

I know...we crossed it off the list.

watever kk.. ryan is a sweetheart... i would take his samples

I would too!!!

[IrieCat 2]

deadbeats are everywhere...just like good fathers are too. i never had the impression that jamaican fathers are deadbeats...

I agree with that! My daughters father is as American as they come and he has paid about $500 in CS and Tierra is 7!

When in St Lucia I always see the men out and about with their kids. I love seeing a man with his Baby Bjorn strapped on walking around town! :-)

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

deadbeats are everywhere...just like good fathers are too. i never had the impression that jamaican fathers are deadbeats...

Well my experience with the men from Jamaican (not that I see many) are half and half. My husband's brother doesn't do much of anything for his 2 sons. Doesn't buy clothes, help w/ feeding them, pay for school stuff, school, NOTHING! Never has as long as I've known my husband--my husband and his mother have ALWAYS stepped up and taken care of his children...my MIL doesn't work full-time, but she will do odd-jobs here and there, and her sister helps as well. My other BIL won't help either! And ALL of them work! I get so frustrated with the entire situation because my husband takes this all on, then becomes so enraged and frustrated. He supports his mother & grandmother, his 2 nephews, AND himself on the sorry a$$ salary that he makes at the resort (I'm grateful he has a job though!) He and his brother have actually come to blows over the fact that he will NOT take care of his kids the way he is supposed to, but has money to stay in the bars, go out to parties, meet all his new girlfriends, whatever...so you see, I could lean towards the negative as far as perception goes, but I look at my husband and try to remember that it's not like that with all Jamaican men (or men period for that matter). And for the boy's mothers (2 diff moms), neither one of them does much for them either. In fact the likkle one lives w/ MIL and MIGHT see his mother a couple times a month. The older boy walks right past his mom, sisters, etc and they won't even speak to him! It really is a sad situation. I've talked to my husband about maybe bringing the smaller one up a couple years from now and whether or not the mom will allow it, and he says he's not sure if she would. The older one is sadly already in the streets and hanging with the wrong people. I pray for his safety everyday. I provide for the children's school supplies, uniforms, etc because that is important to me...but that's the most I can do at this moment...

[^KK^ 3]

Does anyone have any job searching tips for my hubby? How did you or your spouse go about getting employment with no experience in the US?

He has submitted so many applications. I want to know if there is something else we should try.

Are there any temporary employment agencies in your area? Great place to start for anyone just starting out really, they can hire for all types of industries with no experience/entry level positions which will gain then experience. Temp positions can also turn into permanent positions and even if they are only temp positions being registered with the one place with time can build a reputation of longevity in work history.

He's going to try that next week.

I'm really on this helping get a job kick now. He is really not feeling the stay at home Dad (to the puppy- Kimmy- is going to kissteet at this lol..) and want to be working and going to school now.

[Shemmy 4]

this was on craigslist kk, but i saw ALOT of them did ask for driver's license.. is he getting it anytime soon??

Company looking for production workers.

Must have clean background and reliable transportation.

Must be able to start 07/23 by 530 am.

Candidate must be ok working in a cold warehouse facility

If interested and can start tomorrow morning, please respond to this posting, and leave good contact number.

Location: Baltimore (Druid Hill Park area)

Compensation: $8.70

This is a contract job.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

You want to put a Jamaican new to the US in a COLD warehouse environment? I hear the cuss words now!!!!

This is what Shemmy's husband did first. I think she said he liked it.

He didn't love his job but it was a job. It helped him get the job he has now...he's done well for myself.

[jawi876 2]

Just stopping by to say HI to everyone !! Hope you all have a Great friday !! xoxo

ps. New pics from my recent Ja trip on FB check them out ! : )

Hey HeavenSent! I'll go over in a minute...how was the trip? Give us something...anything...I need a Jamaica bone! Throw me a bone please!

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

i say jamaican men because i have not had any experience with other men

but hearing so many of you talking about your men caring for their children is a shock to me honestly

your men are gems, they are exceptions

there are waaaaaay too many men who beleive its ok to just throw money at your child and not take care of them

its almost the norm that when they go away they will send money once in a while....and that's it

Edited July 24, 2009 by Bunzarelli

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

deadbeats are everywhere...just like good fathers are too. i never had the impression that jamaican fathers are deadbeats...

I agree to that myself...my hubby ja friends who has kids are great fathers...ja men seem more proud to be fathers than men up here in the US to me...I could never get that impression that JA men are deadbeats...and my hubby has like 5 best friends and none of them have any kids (well one just had a baby girl yesterday and he was by her side the whole time and they live together)and they say they won't have any until they know they can provide...so they have their priorities as well...my hubby use to tell me that he could have been a father a long time ago but he didn't want any kids cause he knew he couldn't provide for them the way he wanted to...

[Jengles 0]

I need some advice cause i'm not trying to cuss anyone out again. the last baby mother....is now having the child call late at night and it is pissing me off. If I try and say something mr jengs says that is his child. she has the child call in the morning and in the afternoon weekdays and now weekends at night. Of course now I get on the phone and have the child talk to me but it gets on my nerves.

mr jengs used to have her look after his house cause he could never rely on his brother. but now the house...oops I forgot to tell u guys this...mr jengs house was on capture land in Parrytown and now the government is taking it back...

I have to go...mr jengs bought a mini-van all by himself...I am very proud of him......so i have to do the insurance thing over the computer...

any advice on the above subject which doesn't involve me getting loud will be appreciated.

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

jengy mi si yuh wah gwaan

Doing good...feeling happy!!!...Thanks for asking....

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Wow...thanks guys for the responses to my question. It just seems to me that the situation between who lives where & why can get very sticky. I guess it just comes down to communication, listening, and evaluating all the time. And mi beg yuh fi please listen to di pickney dem. Dem nah waan come, or if dem come and nuh like, what is di likelihood that they will grow to be the productive, responsible, good pickney/adults that we hope and dream they will be? Good luck to all of you who are in these situations, and God bless. It's very brave and courageous on everyone's part involved!

absolutely !!!

welcome ateleumus..u do not need a lawyer unless there are violations involved..u can do it by yuhself!

I concur with Kimmy! (Hey Kimmy! ) The paperwork is pretty straightforward...several have done it...if you have questions, just ask and we'll answer! Good luck!

mi dey yah Tammy..wah yuh up to..yuh no hear nuttin yet?

deadbeats are everywhere...just like good fathers are too. i never had the impression that jamaican fathers are deadbeats...

exactly finesse....look pon single mothers yah so to..only thing different most can get welfare or something

Mi nah hear nuttin yet...I just sent in the AOS package yesterday...once that's accepted I will send in the DS-230 package mid August and then I'll wait!