Whats the hardest part

[Mike & Miche 0]

The waiting, for sure!!! Most of the time you need to be patient and wait because they won't give you any feedback. All the other steps are hard, I agree, but the waiting time is the hardest in my opinion.

[attaya_girl 1]

The being separated. Hands down the most difficult part of this process-and not knowing when you'll see one another again

[R de la R 2]

Just out of curiosity, what did you all find was the hardest part of this whole process? Was it being away from your loved one, dealing with the government, or was it anything else that you found difficult?

Just wondering... best of luck to all

dealing with the government

[Yader&Sarah 0]

waiting while in the dark.

not knowing if you should book a flight to see eachother or if you'd get your NOA2 the next day.

gah. I hate even thinking about it!

[ScottThuy 140]

For me the hardest part or I should say the most difficult.. is saying godbye at the airport as one of us walks through security and the other does not. For me being apart can be difficult but saying goodbye blows it away... the rest of the process is just that a process. There are plenty of guides to read and support to help through the process... nobody to help you say goodbye...

[Kimbear 53]

Not being able to hold his hand, touch his cheek, to rest my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat, or to ruffle his hair.

[james&adry 3]

Not being able to hold his hand, touch his cheek, to rest my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat, or to ruffle his hair.

I read a lot of your responses to this but the one that disturbed me the most was the USC and his significant other's interview experience in Ecuador.. I find that horrible that this person brought evidence but the CO didnt buy into it and treated them rude and unfairly. There has to be a way for USC to wager more power in the mater. COs like this do not need to be working.. They should be more like judges in a courtroom looking at the facts and reading common sense vibes from a couple or person that is there before them. Is there a way USC can file a complaint to keep these aholes from being the ones that ultimately decide on us? I'm not one that is willing to standby and let someone else dictate my wife and myself's lives.. I let the military do that lol.

[Victor&Cory 1]

You know? It's the same thing that bothers me. That after all the process and paper filling and more, at the end, it takes one person to decide if me and my angel can be together. That kind of power can't be given to a simple human being. To try to keep security is ok. But to sometimes decide even without seeing not one piece of evidence is horrible. Sometimes they don't even want to see the evidence. They just decide on the fly. That can't be.

I can take the process. Fair enough. But to let one person decide our fate?.....No.

PEACE.......................

[jundp 191]

saying godbye at the airport as one of us walks through security and the other does not. For me being apart can be difficult but saying goodbye blows it away

This sums it up very nicely.

We are taking our first plane ride together on our first wedding anniversary! What a weird feeling it will be to go through security. Together!

[NatPatBen 3]

Separation is ok as long as we know for sure that in a few months we will be reunited. But that's not our reality.

Echo that!

[NatPatBen 3]

Our case went fast, almost too fast, I was cleaning up remodeling debris the morning she arrived! Dealing with the governmnet is not so bad if you keep it to a minimum. Calling them and forever checking the "updates" will only frustrate you. Wait for the NOA2 to arrive in the mailbox.

I always roll my eyes when people who got approved quickly say things like "just wait." Perhaps that's easy when the NOA2 only takes 2, 3, or 4 months; it's a lot harder when it takes longer than that & you hope & pray that you aren't the next Sara (bless her heart).

not knowing if you should book a flight to see eachother or if you'd get your NOA2 the next day.

definitely that one

[alex and astrid 38]

The separation. My fiance and I lived together for two and a half years prior to me leaving the US and filing the K1. It kills me not seeing him every day.

[TBoneTX 45,001]

the one that disturbed me the most was the USC and his significant other's interview experience in Ecuador.. I find that horrible that this person brought evidence but the CO didnt buy into it and treated them rude and unfairly.

The Stokes interrogation was worse, including harassing questions that (in the U.S.) would be illegal in government and in the private sector.

There has to be a way for USC to wager more power in the mater. COs like this do not need to be working.. They should be more like judges in a courtroom looking at the facts and reading common sense vibes from a couple or person that is there before them. Is there a way USC can file a complaint to keep these aholes from being the ones that ultimately decide on us?

No. The consulates are bulletproof from any recourse. Another VJ member (mistreated as above, with a worse initial outcome) can tell you about his conversation with someone who had worked closely with ex-Pres. Bill Clinton. In a discussion about the consulates, Clinton apparently told the other that even a President finds the consulates to be untouchable.

The above stories (realities) are excellent reason to front-load one's K-1/K-3/CR-1 petition with "evidence of relationship" before filing with USCIS. USCIS will not care. Conversely, the consulate is allegedly not allowed to ignore evidence that it receives from (and is therefore known to) USCIS.

Edited July 1, 2009 by TBoneTX

[ScottThuy 140]

saying godbye at the airport as one of us walks through security and the other does not. For me being apart can be difficult but saying goodbye blows it away

This sums it up very nicely.

We are taking our first plane ride together on our first wedding anniversary! What a weird feeling it will be to go through security. Together!

When she gets her visa We will be able to go through security together to come back here, that should be the last time aside from her handing the packet off at POE.. my son says I acted like someone stole my lego's last time we said goodbye ... I have not had lego's for almost 40 years..

[Leo&Farah 0]

The idea of one person deciding your fate terrifies me.

The red tape and documentation was fine, even though official government forms freak me out and I get paranoid of making mistakes. (Had been obsessing over getting an RFE over 'N/A' as opposed to 'none' answers). Had front loaded the petition after reading horror stories about asking for more proof but not wanting to accept more proof when its waved under their noses scenarios.

The separation is handable. After being in a LDR for over 4.5 years, you learn how to survive and focus on goals to keep you sane. Not knowing anything is horrible. Been close to 2 months and we don't even show up on the USCIS case tracking website, so no touches for us.

The worry is the worst. Worrying about all the what ifs. Holding your breath for 6 months or however long it takes incase some hurdle comes up out of the blue. Its like driving blind folded. Not knowing when you'll reach your destination and holding your breath with the constant nagging worry that you'll hit something along the way.

Another hard thing is taking whatever is natural in the relationship and forcing it to be unnatural for the sake of proving your case. Documenting your relationship for proof as if it was a specimen for a science lab instead of a beautiful, natural thing that should just be left alone. Its just ironic that they want proof of a bonafide relationship but the act of gathering and submitting that proof makes things less natural than a real relationship would be. It's like taking a wild flower, putting it between a book and drying it up to place it in a frame so it can be analyzed and scrutinized. When it should just be left out in the wild.