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What to feel when your first love tells you he/she is going to be married...

By thetreble in Canada

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thetreble Experienced

thetreble   19

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Yes, Yes. I know I've got a husband. But, my first love and I are still very close and talk every week.

He told me today he's coming to NYC (for a trip with his girlfriend and to hang out with moi) in December and he is thinking about proposing.

Have any of you ever had that weird "don't know how to feel about it" reaction when you hear that your first love is going to be taken..for good?

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

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Udella&Wiz Mentor

Udella&Wiz   325

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Not my first Love - he wasn't much of anything back in highschool.

There was one guy who I thought would be 'it' many years ago when my daughter was little. 6 months in he randomly broke up with me, totally unexpected....i cried over him for a year I swear...we still talked a lot despote breaking up so when he finally told me he was getting married to some girl I'd never really heard of I was shocked....and then I cried when I got off the phone. Cured me of him pretty quick though, I came to realize he wasn't for me.

I occasionally wonder about an ex for 2 seconds, but nothing heavy duty

Wiz(USC) and Udella(Cdn & USC!)

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thetreble Experienced

thetreble   19

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Yeahhhh! She's a really lovely girl as far as I can tell. She seems very good for him. It's just knowing I guess now that we will never be.....haha

I mean I knew before but...you know...

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

minnew Proficient

minnew   4

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted

Well it wasn't exactly a first love, but I guess more a REAL love, I dated a guy in college for over about a year or so, well turned out he broke my heart instead. He is married now and just had a baby girl, don't get me wrong I am happy for them. It just still feels weird even though I am engaged, have been with my fiance for over 4 years and I will be getting married in October to the ONE. I ran into him a few times separately, and when my fiance was present with me, it was cordial and civil, but still weird. We do not talk as friends. We are two totally different people, it would not have been the lifestyle I wanted to live at all!! Think of city girl meets small town/country/biker/everyone knows everybody elses business/everyone drives a pickup truck. Not for me!!!

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thetreble Experienced

thetreble   19

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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just be happy for that person :thumbs:

Oh I am Charles! I'm happy for him! It's just hard.

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

*JG* Grand Master

*JG*   2

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
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Posted
Yes, Yes. I know I've got a husband. But, my first love and I are still very close and talk every week.

He told me today he's coming to NYC (for a trip with his girlfriend and to hang out with moi) in December and he is thinking about proposing.

Have any of you ever had that weird "don't know how to feel about it" reaction when you hear that your first love is going to be taken..for good?

I can actually tell you what I felt when my first love told me he was seperating from his wife. That happened at the end of last year.

He's my best friend, though, and he tells me everything.

Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train

You can't go back for what you've missed

So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right

You only get one trip

So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast

You only get one trip

Kathryn41 Grand Master

Kathryn41   3,205

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted (edited)

I remember when one of my first real loves told me he was getting married. I was sad that he didn't feel that way about me, but happy that he had found someone who he felt that way about. He chose a woman who I would have been happy to have as a friend even if he wasn't in the picture, and his marriage has turned into one of those life-long rock solid marriages. He will always hold a special place in my heart - I love him still - but there is no jealousy or hurt, just sort of a wistful 'what if' feeling and a small sense of loss for what might have/could have been.

Edited by Kathryn41

“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

.― Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

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thetreble Experienced

thetreble   19

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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No, it just didn't work out....But he has seen me grow over a period of 10 years...and we were very close and he's a part of who I am.

There have been a few times where I thought to myself I should have maybe went after him more aggressively. We just have a long history. I love him! Not as..a significant other but a good friend and part of my past.

It's just a weird feeling that both of us are going to be married...and we were both "kids" when we met...

I remember when one of my first real loves told me he was getting married. I was sad that he didn't feel that way about me, but happy that he had found someone who he felt that way about. He chose a woman who I would have been happy to have as a friend even if he wasn't in the picture, and his marriage has turned into one of those life-long rock solid marriages. He will always hold a special place in my heart - I love him still - but there is no jealousy or hurt, just sort of a wistful 'what if' feeling and a small sense of loss for what might have/could have been.

That is how I feel.

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,582

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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Why is hard if you're already married? Was he the one you let get away?

:blink: wow did that one register a different way in my mind. :innocent:

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

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Emancipation Mentor

Emancipation   2

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted
:lol: This reminds me of a guy friends reaction to finding out I was getting married (he was married at the time).. he said to a friend of mine "she's getting married.. but I'm supposed to marry her!!" :bonk: My friend said "one slight problem.. you ARE married".. :rofl:

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thetreble Experienced

thetreble   19

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted
:lol: This reminds me of a guy friends reaction to finding out I was getting married (he was married at the time).. he said to a friend of mine "she's getting married.. but I'm supposed to marry her!!" :bonk: My friend said "one slight problem.. you ARE married".. :rofl:

:lol:

It's almost comical like that! I always thought we'd end up together somehow in the back of my mind!

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

Emancipation Mentor

Emancipation   2

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted
It's almost comical like that! I always thought we'd end up together somehow in the back of my mind!

Well perhaps it's something you need to grieve.. if it was in the back of your mind.. no shame in that! :) I think it was quite flattering that my friend thought that way towards me.. although too late for him at this point :)

AOS:

2007-02-22: Sent AOS /EAD

2007-03-06 : NOA1 AOS /EAD

2007-03-28: Transferred to CSC

2007-05-17: EAD Card Production Ordered

2007-05-21: I485 Approved

2007-05-24: EAD Card Received

2007-06-01: Green Card Received!!

Removal of Conditions:

2009-02-27: Sent I-751

2009-03-07: NOA I-751

2009-03-31: Biometrics Appt. Hartford

2009-07-21: Touched (first time since biometrics) Perhaps address change?

2009-07-28: Approved at VSC

2009-08-25: Received card in the mail

Naturalization

2012-08-20: Submitted N-400

2013-01-18: Became Citizen

 
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