Who Gives in first?

[Wrenly 0]

Ok, I'm hoping I've been posting on here long enough to start a topic like this.

Mikey and I are in a bit of a snit. The whole thing went something like this.

He was supposed to call on Sunday. Sunday afternoon I got a text message:

"I know I was supposed to call you today, but I'm in a really foul mood today and I don't want to take it out on you. I'll talk to you soon."

I forgot to breathe before I text'd him back with "Oh there's a good reason. I have to go wash my hair now." And promptly turned my phone off. *sigh*

Instead of the message I expected from him pleading for forgiveness I got "I'm not really in the mood for sarcastic comments."

So yeah. Now it's a stalemate. I feel very silly. We had a text back and forth yesterday but it was just about something of his that I found and wanted to know if he wanted me to keep it.

I really want to call him, but I'm stubborn and want him to call like he was supposed to.

As I'm typing this out, I realize I sound about 10. I guess I should just call.

I hate thinking he's over there upset with me. But I also hate thinking he didn't call because he was mad that Rooney got a red card. You know? Sorry.

Edited July 5, 2006 by Wrenly

[Anyta Holland 1]

I think it was quite fair of him to at least send you a txt saying that he was not in a good mood and did not want to have a go at you... I am like that... I sometimes have to tell my hubby not to talk to me for a bit if I am moody as anything would spark things up...

I say, call him... British people take football quite seriously and Saturday was a very sad day... My hubby was quite down on Sunday and did not want to talk much or do much...

When we fall out, I think we go away trying to analyse what we have done and whether we acted correctly towards each other, if we feel that we were harsh or unfair then that's the first one to give in... Now, if it has been a while and no one gives in, it's usually me who goes and gives him a nice little cuddle...

I know that you are unable to do this, but if you just give him a call, I am sure things will be as they were before!

[Jaylen Brit 0]

I agree with anyta..call him..sometimes its wiser to keep the peace and be HAPPY than be 'right'

[Wrenly 0]

Thanks so much! I'll call him as soon as I'm off work. If I could have given him a cuddle this would have been over on Sunday.

[JenT 0]

Thanks so much! I'll call him as soon as I'm off work. If I could have given him a cuddle this would have been over on Sunday.

... and there's the problem...

Respect the fact that he did not want to take his mood out on you, and give him his space. The sooner you can work those sorts of cues out, and accept them of each other, the better off you'll be. I used to get bothered when he would want to end a phone call because he was 'tired', even though I had more I wanted to talk about... or sometimes just listening to him BREATHE is enough for me...

But I know now how he 'shuts down' when he's tired (unlike me who can go weeks on a average of 5 hrs of sleep a night) and I let him go... it's not like it's our last chance to talk or anything like that....

Be patient with each other... it's easy to let the little things intrude. Rise above them!!

Jen

[Wrenly 0]

Thanks so much! I'll call him as soon as I'm off work. If I could have given him a cuddle this would have been over on Sunday.

... and there's the problem...

Respect the fact that he did not want to take his mood out on you, and give him his space. The sooner you can work those sorts of cues out, and accept them of each other, the better off you'll be. I used to get bothered when he would want to end a phone call because he was 'tired', even though I had more I wanted to talk about... or sometimes just listening to him BREATHE is enough for me...

But I know now how he 'shuts down' when he's tired (unlike me who can go weeks on a average of 5 hrs of sleep a night) and I let him go... it's not like it's our last chance to talk or anything like that....

Be patient with each other... it's easy to let the little things intrude. Rise above them!!

Jen

To quote Marie from When Harry Met Sally "You're right. You're right. I know you're right."

[HuffyTheSlayer 22]

Yep, in this case it's time for you to be the bigger person and apologise. But you already realise that.

Sometimes my hubby would be like that when we were apart (I could be like that sometimes, too). So I would simply reply that I loved him and let him know that he could call, text, message, email, etc. me to talk about the thing that had him down/upset if he wanted to. But if he didn't, that was fine too.

Sometimes people do need a bit of time to themselves and the people close to them need to let them have that space. I know that can be easier said than done sometimes, though.

Edited July 6, 2006 by HuffyTheSlayer

[shakysgirl 1]

I really agree with Jaylen Brit- some of the best advice I ever got was "do you want to be happy or be right?" and "it's not the getting, it's the keeping". Not that it makes it any easier when I just bloody well KNOW I'm right!

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

When Ryan and I have arguments like that. Pity stuff. I'm always the one to say something first. I can't go without talking to him, though I wish he would do it first sometimes, but yeah. Doesn't happen.

So, do what you gotta do!

[Linababe 0]

LOl my american half and I do the same thing, although he doesnt text me its normally about leaving me yahoo messages as to what he is doing today or what time he would get home so I can arrange my day and get online the same time as him! I seem to be the one that gets moody with him in most cases and I feel the last 4 and half years we have known each other I AM the one who always apologises and makes up and makes the first move. Nowadays I have been getting real sick of it and have become more stubborn, and well put it this way he knows when I am not in the mood and to leave me the hell alone lol. But eventually he will now come to me in our chat module we use and ask if I am ok and am I ready to talk about what has been upsetting me lol - we talk and get it all out in the open and we are then fine... until the next time lol. I just find it so hard that I cant see him and his body language and vice verse and this complicates stuff sometimes, we both interpret the other wrongly etc. One or two of our silly arguments have got me so mad that I think is all this worth it?? but after sitting down calmly and thinking about it all - YES HE IS worth it I love him soo much and I would die without him So in the end I am the one who always backs down, or makes the first move to apologise - mind you making up is fun

Lina (UKC)

Ok, I'm hoping I've been posting on here long enough to start a topic like this.

Mikey and I are in a bit of a snit. The whole thing went something like this.

He was supposed to call on Sunday. Sunday afternoon I got a text message:

"I know I was supposed to call you today, but I'm in a really foul mood today and I don't want to take it out on you. I'll talk to you soon."

I forgot to breathe before I text'd him back with "Oh there's a good reason. I have to go wash my hair now." And promptly turned my phone off. *sigh*

Instead of the message I expected from him pleading for forgiveness I got "I'm not really in the mood for sarcastic comments."

So yeah. Now it's a stalemate. I feel very silly. We had a text back and forth yesterday but it was just about something of his that I found and wanted to know if he wanted me to keep it.

I really want to call him, but I'm stubborn and want him to call like he was supposed to.

As I'm typing this out, I realize I sound about 10. I guess I should just call.

I hate thinking he's over there upset with me. But I also hate thinking he didn't call because he was mad that Rooney got a red card. You know? Sorry.