Everyone going through Administrative Processing in ISLAMABAD

[waiting4rana 1]

wow you have the patience of job , my name is Patrica, wife of wellmux, i'm new here but have been reading posts in here for a long time now, thank god this forum is here for those of us waiting in ap hell, we have been waiting a long time now, please pray for us, as im also praying for you all

[ARMANI KHAN 3]

hi friends

my wife called to DOS and they said that ur still under AP and this time we don;t need anything from u.

can my wife contact wd her senator abt AP or not bz we r very depressed abt. the AP is the painful process in the whole case.

Thanks.

[waiting4rana 1]

hi friends

my wife called to DOS and they said that ur still under AP and this time we don;t need anything from u.

can my wife contact wd her senator abt AP or not bz we r very depressed abt. the AP is the painful process in the whole case.

Thanks.

I hope your AP will finish soon.

[MumtazG38 1]

hi friends

my wife called to DOS and they said that ur still under AP and this time we don;t need anything from u.

can my wife contact wd her senator abt AP or not bz we r very depressed abt. the AP is the painful process in the whole case.

Thanks.

You never mentioned how your second interview went? How did it go? What did they ask...what did they say?

[ZaheersShezadi 0]

Hey everyone. Wow. I am sorry that you guys had to go through so much in your immigration processes. Yes, Allah does test us. It has been very hard for me as well. But I didn't technically have any family members stopping me from filing. I was lucky enough that I was able to do everything myself and use my father's address in USA (where I currently am) to send through. My story is a bit different than all....

I was married to a Bangladeshi man for nearly 7 yrs. We had a daughter together and after she was born, he started ignoring me and hanging out more and more with his friends. He would get high on weed, drunk, gamble all night long at poker parties with his friends and leave me home alone. We bought a 4 br house back in 2005 but his family got the DV visa and came over from BD. There were 13 of us living in one house. in a 4 br house. It was insane. So, I didn't want to sit in front of the TV with his mom chewing Paan and watching Indian Soap Operas all night, so my baby and I would spend all night in my room, practically just locked up because there was no other room in the house. The niece and nephew were always taking up the computer and phone. And I had nowhere to go. I grew up as an only child with two working parents, so this was quite an adjustment for me and I wasnt able to handle it. I started staying at my parents' house more and more on the nights he would hang out with his friends. He would usually come there afterwards and stay the night, but there wasn't a big enough bed, so we both slept seperate. Soon, he started just sleeping over at his friends' houses. After that, he started just going home and leaving me at my parents' house and only taking me home because his mom wanted to see the baby. He never gave me money for gas because "we had to buy a truck since he owned a boat" and it was MY vehicle (in his name) and it ate up too much gas for him to give me gas money. He never let me use my cell phone since none of my friends at AT&T and it would cost too much to chat on the phone. I couldn't use the house phone cuz some of his family was always on it. The only freedome and peace I had was staying at my parents' house. I asked several times for him to pay more attention to me and the baby. But he would get frustrated and say he is stressed about cash. Everytime I asked for some time, he would say "Are you trying to start an argument?" Once I told him that he never makes me feel special and neither does anyone else and he said "Well you have to earn it". I was like "What the hell?" that was when I lost a great amount of respect for him. It slowly went down more and more. I started staying at my parents' house more and more.

I met my "friend" (now husband) through another friend of mine who had a Pakistani husband. She used to try to reach him, and he would not answer his phoen or something, so she would have me (who had calling cards), call up her hubby's friend, Zaheer, and ask him to contact her husband. This is how we started talking. We just realized we had a lot in common and it went from there. I had told my ex that I wanted a divorce several times, he didnt take me seriously. When he found out that I was leaving him for real, he was pissed and threatened to take our daughter away. But by that time, I had already planned a vacation to Pakistan to visit Zaheer and to help gain experience for a book I was writing. My ex had already signed for her passport, and I applied for our visas. When he threatened to take her away from me, I called my friend who is a police officer and asked can he do that? and she said "No, but unless you two have a custody agreement, you both have equal rights over that baby". So, I left for Pakistan. I intended to only stay a little while because I wanted to come back home for the holidays. But my ex kept calling us and threatening us and saying "The FBI is after you, they are gonna catch you and arrest you for kidnapping and you will go to jail ... " etc. I was so scared. The Lahore embassy came ot our house to check on the well-being of me and the baby because he told my parents to have them come and check on us. they asked us some questions about what do we eat, and how do we like it there and took pics of me and her. Then they left. They were very nice. My parents said they never told them anything except that we were fine and healthy. My ex finally agreed to give me the divorce if I come home. I told him I will as long as he doesn't press any kind of charges because I did nothing wrong. He said "I will only not press charges if you give me the baby" and I said "Joint custody" and he said "Full custody". I didnt agree and he said "Fine, then you wont get the divorce, or immigration for Zaheer and you will get arrested as soon as the FBI gets there to you." He said "Just think about it, they will find you, its just a matter of time, and they already know where you live. They will take that baby from you in Pakistan and you will be stuck. Do you want them to take the baby?" and I was like no. So i reluctantly agreed, and went home. He promised that he would not press charges and etc. But still threatened that unless i gave him the baby he would fight the divorce until the day he had her. So, when I arrived at JFK, the security held me up, called the FBI cuz "someone" flagged my passport. I had to wait in a retaining room with a sick 2 yr old for 5 hours. No food, no medicine for her fever, nothing. they wouldn't tell me anything. Then finally they got ahold of the FBI and they said "Yeah, she is fine, let her go ahead" but by then I already missed my flight and had to stay overnight. I didnt have enough money for a hotel so they wanted me to stay at a homeless shelter. But the FBI had said that my ex was gonna pay for a hotel. but when we got there, they said "no. let her stay at the shelter". I had just enough money for one night at the JFK airport hotel. It was so late at night there were no restaurants open and no pizza places would deliver that late. So, no dinner for me and baby. I gave her a candy bar I had in my bag and some left over lemonade. I gave her a bath but there was no warm water in the tub so I had to warm it in the coffemaker and dump it into the tub for her. She was so sick and miserable. Had a cold. then, I got her out, dressed her, and laid her down for bed even though we had to get up in 4 and a half hours to make the next flight. That was the last time I got to snuggle my baby. I held her all night that I could, and she woke me up in the middle of the night cuz she was hungry or wanted me to hold her tighterr. I didn't want that night to end.

The next morning, I flew to miami. the FBI was waiting for me when I got off the plane. They told me they had to escort me to my ex, and give him the baby. She was in the stroller, so I just handed the stroller over to him and he hugged her. She was confused why he was sad. But he kept telling me "What you did was wrong". I just stood silently. He had calle dmy aunt and grandmother too, they were waiting there for me. I gave him her things, and I didn't want to tell her goodbye because I was afraid she would start crying and be sad because since the second she was born I have never ever been away from her. I only went to the movies like 3 times, leaving her with my parents. Other than that.. I was always with her 24/7. I told him to change her diaper so she could be more comfortable, and to give him a bit of responsibility since he never took care of her before. We had made an agreement that I would be able to see her anytime I wanted. I left with my aunt, watching him take my baby girl and push her in the stroller towards his car. She looked over the edge, sleepily at me, but never cried. I never said goodbye. That was the last time I saw my baby.

that was in December of 2008. She was almost 2.

I don't pretend what I did was right. I should have thought things through better. But, he had turned my family against me and Zaheer. He lied, boy did he lie, about things I said or did. I have never been in trouble in my life, dont even have any traffic violations. never did drugs. Never dropped outta school. Never went to parties or drink alcohol. Nothing. He does all that stuff. But still, he won.

He stayed at my mom and dad's house. He claims it was so he had help with the baby. But he insisted on having her, if he needed help to take care of her, he shouldn't have insisted on full custody. He just did it to prevent me from staying with them and getting support from them. He knew if I had nowhere to stay, I would have no choice but to go back to pakistan. He stayed there, he sold my truck. yeah, that gas-guzzler. I had no job, no home, no vehicle... no money. I lived with my aunt for a few weeks. we finalized the divorce and after everything was said and done under the pretense that I would be able to see her even if he had primary custody, he came to me and said "I will never let you see her or speak to her ever. I dont want her to get messed up like you." And to this day, he has held true to tthat promise. Not letting me see her. Or Speak to her. he tells my parents that if I had stayed in USA, he'd let me see her. But thats not true. Where would I stay? Now that his famiy is back in Florida, he moved back into the foreclosed house with them, living rent-free til the bank takes it back with 8 other family members. I am at my parents' house. I havent seen my baby and everytime my dad asks him to let me see her he says no. I know I can file contempt charges against him.. but I wwas waiting for Zaheer to get here for that. Because since it is child abuse to withhold a child from one parent with a court-ordered visitation order (unless abuse is at stake), he could go to jail or I could get custody. So I wanted Zaheer to be here to prove we are a stable family and can take care of her better than he can. So, I am buying my time, it is hard, but I am waiting it out til the time is right and I can get my baby back in my life. I have missed 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas's, 4 Eid's, and several other holidays and important dates in my daughter's life. I want her at the hospital to see her sister when she will be born.. but I dont see that happening.

So, now, maybe you all can understand why being without Zaheer is so hard. It was hard enough missing my daughter for over a year, but now missing both and facing a repeat c-section alone.... its hard. Luckily I have WIC and Medicaid. It is a rough existance and I am trying not to lose faith in Allah. Please pray for me. I spoked to FBI after this was done adn they said I never commited any crime and what I did was not wrong becuase there was no custody issued at that time. I asked the Dept of State, the Embassy, and the Senator... they all said this will not affect my Immigration case for Zaheer. So... please pray for me people. It's really hard to be strong sometimes. Very. Insha'Allah.. I will be ok soon. Allah Hafiz.

~Tara

[IT_1 0]

Hey everyone. Wow. I am sorry that you guys had to go through so much in your immigration processes. Yes, Allah does test us. It has been very hard for me as well. But I didn't technically have any family members stopping me from filing. I was lucky enough that I was able to do everything myself and use my father's address in USA (where I currently am) to send through. My story is a bit different than all....

I was married to a Bangladeshi man for nearly 7 yrs. We had a daughter together and after she was born, he started ignoring me and hanging out more and more with his friends. He would get high on weed, drunk, gamble all night long at poker parties with his friends and leave me home alone. We bought a 4 br house back in 2005 but his family got the DV visa and came over from BD. There were 13 of us living in one house. in a 4 br house. It was insane. So, I didn't want to sit in front of the TV with his mom chewing Paan and watching Indian Soap Operas all night, so my baby and I would spend all night in my room, practically just locked up because there was no other room in the house. The niece and nephew were always taking up the computer and phone. And I had nowhere to go. I grew up as an only child with two working parents, so this was quite an adjustment for me and I wasnt able to handle it. I started staying at my parents' house more and more on the nights he would hang out with his friends. He would usually come there afterwards and stay the night, but there wasn't a big enough bed, so we both slept seperate. Soon, he started just sleeping over at his friends' houses. After that, he started just going home and leaving me at my parents' house and only taking me home because his mom wanted to see the baby. He never gave me money for gas because "we had to buy a truck since he owned a boat" and it was MY vehicle (in his name) and it ate up too much gas for him to give me gas money. He never let me use my cell phone since none of my friends at AT&T and it would cost too much to chat on the phone. I couldn't use the house phone cuz some of his family was always on it. The only freedome and peace I had was staying at my parents' house. I asked several times for him to pay more attention to me and the baby. But he would get frustrated and say he is stressed about cash. Everytime I asked for some time, he would say "Are you trying to start an argument?" Once I told him that he never makes me feel special and neither does anyone else and he said "Well you have to earn it". I was like "What the hell?" that was when I lost a great amount of respect for him. It slowly went down more and more. I started staying at my parents' house more and more.

I met my "friend" (now husband) through another friend of mine who had a Pakistani husband. She used to try to reach him, and he would not answer his phoen or something, so she would have me (who had calling cards), call up her hubby's friend, Zaheer, and ask him to contact her husband. This is how we started talking. We just realized we had a lot in common and it went from there. I had told my ex that I wanted a divorce several times, he didnt take me seriously. When he found out that I was leaving him for real, he was pissed and threatened to take our daughter away. But by that time, I had already planned a vacation to Pakistan to visit Zaheer and to help gain experience for a book I was writing. My ex had already signed for her passport, and I applied for our visas. When he threatened to take her away from me, I called my friend who is a police officer and asked can he do that? and she said "No, but unless you two have a custody agreement, you both have equal rights over that baby". So, I left for Pakistan. I intended to only stay a little while because I wanted to come back home for the holidays. But my ex kept calling us and threatening us and saying "The FBI is after you, they are gonna catch you and arrest you for kidnapping and you will go to jail ... " etc. I was so scared. The Lahore embassy came ot our house to check on the well-being of me and the baby because he told my parents to have them come and check on us. they asked us some questions about what do we eat, and how do we like it there and took pics of me and her. Then they left. They were very nice. My parents said they never told them anything except that we were fine and healthy. My ex finally agreed to give me the divorce if I come home. I told him I will as long as he doesn't press any kind of charges because I did nothing wrong. He said "I will only not press charges if you give me the baby" and I said "Joint custody" and he said "Full custody". I didnt agree and he said "Fine, then you wont get the divorce, or immigration for Zaheer and you will get arrested as soon as the FBI gets there to you." He said "Just think about it, they will find you, its just a matter of time, and they already know where you live. They will take that baby from you in Pakistan and you will be stuck. Do you want them to take the baby?" and I was like no. So i reluctantly agreed, and went home. He promised that he would not press charges and etc. But still threatened that unless i gave him the baby he would fight the divorce until the day he had her. So, when I arrived at JFK, the security held me up, called the FBI cuz "someone" flagged my passport. I had to wait in a retaining room with a sick 2 yr old for 5 hours. No food, no medicine for her fever, nothing. they wouldn't tell me anything. Then finally they got ahold of the FBI and they said "Yeah, she is fine, let her go ahead" but by then I already missed my flight and had to stay overnight. I didnt have enough money for a hotel so they wanted me to stay at a homeless shelter. But the FBI had said that my ex was gonna pay for a hotel. but when we got there, they said "no. let her stay at the shelter". I had just enough money for one night at the JFK airport hotel. It was so late at night there were no restaurants open and no pizza places would deliver that late. So, no dinner for me and baby. I gave her a candy bar I had in my bag and some left over lemonade. I gave her a bath but there was no warm water in the tub so I had to warm it in the coffemaker and dump it into the tub for her. She was so sick and miserable. Had a cold. then, I got her out, dressed her, and laid her down for bed even though we had to get up in 4 and a half hours to make the next flight. That was the last time I got to snuggle my baby. I held her all night that I could, and she woke me up in the middle of the night cuz she was hungry or wanted me to hold her tighterr. I didn't want that night to end.

The next morning, I flew to miami. the FBI was waiting for me when I got off the plane. They told me they had to escort me to my ex, and give him the baby. She was in the stroller, so I just handed the stroller over to him and he hugged her. She was confused why he was sad. But he kept telling me "What you did was wrong". I just stood silently. He had calle dmy aunt and grandmother too, they were waiting there for me. I gave him her things, and I didn't want to tell her goodbye because I was afraid she would start crying and be sad because since the second she was born I have never ever been away from her. I only went to the movies like 3 times, leaving her with my parents. Other than that.. I was always with her 24/7. I told him to change her diaper so she could be more comfortable, and to give him a bit of responsibility since he never took care of her before. We had made an agreement that I would be able to see her anytime I wanted. I left with my aunt, watching him take my baby girl and push her in the stroller towards his car. She looked over the edge, sleepily at me, but never cried. I never said goodbye. That was the last time I saw my baby.

that was in December of 2008. She was almost 2.

I don't pretend what I did was right. I should have thought things through better. But, he had turned my family against me and Zaheer. He lied, boy did he lie, about things I said or did. I have never been in trouble in my life, dont even have any traffic violations. never did drugs. Never dropped outta school. Never went to parties or drink alcohol. Nothing. He does all that stuff. But still, he won.

He stayed at my mom and dad's house. He claims it was so he had help with the baby. But he insisted on having her, if he needed help to take care of her, he shouldn't have insisted on full custody. He just did it to prevent me from staying with them and getting support from them. He knew if I had nowhere to stay, I would have no choice but to go back to pakistan. He stayed there, he sold my truck. yeah, that gas-guzzler. I had no job, no home, no vehicle... no money. I lived with my aunt for a few weeks. we finalized the divorce and after everything was said and done under the pretense that I would be able to see her even if he had primary custody, he came to me and said "I will never let you see her or speak to her ever. I dont want her to get messed up like you." And to this day, he has held true to tthat promise. Not letting me see her. Or Speak to her. he tells my parents that if I had stayed in USA, he'd let me see her. But thats not true. Where would I stay? Now that his famiy is back in Florida, he moved back into the foreclosed house with them, living rent-free til the bank takes it back with 8 other family members. I am at my parents' house. I havent seen my baby and everytime my dad asks him to let me see her he says no. I know I can file contempt charges against him.. but I wwas waiting for Zaheer to get here for that. Because since it is child abuse to withhold a child from one parent with a court-ordered visitation order (unless abuse is at stake), he could go to jail or I could get custody. So I wanted Zaheer to be here to prove we are a stable family and can take care of her better than he can. So, I am buying my time, it is hard, but I am waiting it out til the time is right and I can get my baby back in my life. I have missed 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas's, 4 Eid's, and several other holidays and important dates in my daughter's life. I want her at the hospital to see her sister when she will be born.. but I dont see that happening.

So, now, maybe you all can understand why being without Zaheer is so hard. It was hard enough missing my daughter for over a year, but now missing both and facing a repeat c-section alone.... its hard. Luckily I have WIC and Medicaid. It is a rough existance and I am trying not to lose faith in Allah. Please pray for me. I spoked to FBI after this was done adn they said I never commited any crime and what I did was not wrong becuase there was no custody issued at that time. I asked the Dept of State, the Embassy, and the Senator... they all said this will not affect my Immigration case for Zaheer. So... please pray for me people. It's really hard to be strong sometimes. Very. Insha'Allah.. I will be ok soon. Allah Hafiz.

~Tara

Hello,

I am sorry to hear that all happend with you. But one thing for sure, you are a strong person. God Blees you. Hopefully things will be easy and good for you after all hard time. Good Luck.

[Usmomo 0]

SlamoaAlaikaum Tara,

I had tears in my eyes while reading ur post! I know u r a strong porson n sure Allah was watching u thats y u were able to pas that time! He sure does increses strength and patience,

All my prayers with u all, I know how it feels, trust me its not just the words, i can imagine,

May all join with their loved ones soonest possible, I also want to go back home to start a new life with my huby,

InshaAllah everyone will hear good news very soon !

take care,

~MOMO

Hey everyone. Wow. I am sorry that you guys had to go through so much in your immigration processes. Yes, Allah does test us. It has been very hard for me as well. But I didn't technically have any family members stopping me from filing. I was lucky enough that I was able to do everything myself and use my father's address in USA (where I currently am) to send through. My story is a bit different than all....

I was married to a Bangladeshi man for nearly 7 yrs. We had a daughter together and after she was born, he started ignoring me and hanging out more and more with his friends. He would get high on weed, drunk, gamble all night long at poker parties with his friends and leave me home alone. We bought a 4 br house back in 2005 but his family got the DV visa and came over from BD. There were 13 of us living in one house. in a 4 br house. It was insane. So, I didn't want to sit in front of the TV with his mom chewing Paan and watching Indian Soap Operas all night, so my baby and I would spend all night in my room, practically just locked up because there was no other room in the house. The niece and nephew were always taking up the computer and phone. And I had nowhere to go. I grew up as an only child with two working parents, so this was quite an adjustment for me and I wasnt able to handle it. I started staying at my parents' house more and more on the nights he would hang out with his friends. He would usually come there afterwards and stay the night, but there wasn't a big enough bed, so we both slept seperate. Soon, he started just sleeping over at his friends' houses. After that, he started just going home and leaving me at my parents' house and only taking me home because his mom wanted to see the baby. He never gave me money for gas because "we had to buy a truck since he owned a boat" and it was MY vehicle (in his name) and it ate up too much gas for him to give me gas money. He never let me use my cell phone since none of my friends at AT&T and it would cost too much to chat on the phone. I couldn't use the house phone cuz some of his family was always on it. The only freedome and peace I had was staying at my parents' house. I asked several times for him to pay more attention to me and the baby. But he would get frustrated and say he is stressed about cash. Everytime I asked for some time, he would say "Are you trying to start an argument?" Once I told him that he never makes me feel special and neither does anyone else and he said "Well you have to earn it". I was like "What the hell?" that was when I lost a great amount of respect for him. It slowly went down more and more. I started staying at my parents' house more and more.

I met my "friend" (now husband) through another friend of mine who had a Pakistani husband. She used to try to reach him, and he would not answer his phoen or something, so she would have me (who had calling cards), call up her hubby's friend, Zaheer, and ask him to contact her husband. This is how we started talking. We just realized we had a lot in common and it went from there. I had told my ex that I wanted a divorce several times, he didnt take me seriously. When he found out that I was leaving him for real, he was pissed and threatened to take our daughter away. But by that time, I had already planned a vacation to Pakistan to visit Zaheer and to help gain experience for a book I was writing. My ex had already signed for her passport, and I applied for our visas. When he threatened to take her away from me, I called my friend who is a police officer and asked can he do that? and she said "No, but unless you two have a custody agreement, you both have equal rights over that baby". So, I left for Pakistan. I intended to only stay a little while because I wanted to come back home for the holidays. But my ex kept calling us and threatening us and saying "The FBI is after you, they are gonna catch you and arrest you for kidnapping and you will go to jail ... " etc. I was so scared. The Lahore embassy came ot our house to check on the well-being of me and the baby because he told my parents to have them come and check on us. they asked us some questions about what do we eat, and how do we like it there and took pics of me and her. Then they left. They were very nice. My parents said they never told them anything except that we were fine and healthy. My ex finally agreed to give me the divorce if I come home. I told him I will as long as he doesn't press any kind of charges because I did nothing wrong. He said "I will only not press charges if you give me the baby" and I said "Joint custody" and he said "Full custody". I didnt agree and he said "Fine, then you wont get the divorce, or immigration for Zaheer and you will get arrested as soon as the FBI gets there to you." He said "Just think about it, they will find you, its just a matter of time, and they already know where you live. They will take that baby from you in Pakistan and you will be stuck. Do you want them to take the baby?" and I was like no. So i reluctantly agreed, and went home. He promised that he would not press charges and etc. But still threatened that unless i gave him the baby he would fight the divorce until the day he had her. So, when I arrived at JFK, the security held me up, called the FBI cuz "someone" flagged my passport. I had to wait in a retaining room with a sick 2 yr old for 5 hours. No food, no medicine for her fever, nothing. they wouldn't tell me anything. Then finally they got ahold of the FBI and they said "Yeah, she is fine, let her go ahead" but by then I already missed my flight and had to stay overnight. I didnt have enough money for a hotel so they wanted me to stay at a homeless shelter. But the FBI had said that my ex was gonna pay for a hotel. but when we got there, they said "no. let her stay at the shelter". I had just enough money for one night at the JFK airport hotel. It was so late at night there were no restaurants open and no pizza places would deliver that late. So, no dinner for me and baby. I gave her a candy bar I had in my bag and some left over lemonade. I gave her a bath but there was no warm water in the tub so I had to warm it in the coffemaker and dump it into the tub for her. She was so sick and miserable. Had a cold. then, I got her out, dressed her, and laid her down for bed even though we had to get up in 4 and a half hours to make the next flight. That was the last time I got to snuggle my baby. I held her all night that I could, and she woke me up in the middle of the night cuz she was hungry or wanted me to hold her tighterr. I didn't want that night to end.

The next morning, I flew to miami. the FBI was waiting for me when I got off the plane. They told me they had to escort me to my ex, and give him the baby. She was in the stroller, so I just handed the stroller over to him and he hugged her. She was confused why he was sad. But he kept telling me "What you did was wrong". I just stood silently. He had calle dmy aunt and grandmother too, they were waiting there for me. I gave him her things, and I didn't want to tell her goodbye because I was afraid she would start crying and be sad because since the second she was born I have never ever been away from her. I only went to the movies like 3 times, leaving her with my parents. Other than that.. I was always with her 24/7. I told him to change her diaper so she could be more comfortable, and to give him a bit of responsibility since he never took care of her before. We had made an agreement that I would be able to see her anytime I wanted. I left with my aunt, watching him take my baby girl and push her in the stroller towards his car. She looked over the edge, sleepily at me, but never cried. I never said goodbye. That was the last time I saw my baby.

that was in December of 2008. She was almost 2.

I don't pretend what I did was right. I should have thought things through better. But, he had turned my family against me and Zaheer. He lied, boy did he lie, about things I said or did. I have never been in trouble in my life, dont even have any traffic violations. never did drugs. Never dropped outta school. Never went to parties or drink alcohol. Nothing. He does all that stuff. But still, he won.

He stayed at my mom and dad's house. He claims it was so he had help with the baby. But he insisted on having her, if he needed help to take care of her, he shouldn't have insisted on full custody. He just did it to prevent me from staying with them and getting support from them. He knew if I had nowhere to stay, I would have no choice but to go back to pakistan. He stayed there, he sold my truck. yeah, that gas-guzzler. I had no job, no home, no vehicle... no money. I lived with my aunt for a few weeks. we finalized the divorce and after everything was said and done under the pretense that I would be able to see her even if he had primary custody, he came to me and said "I will never let you see her or speak to her ever. I dont want her to get messed up like you." And to this day, he has held true to tthat promise. Not letting me see her. Or Speak to her. he tells my parents that if I had stayed in USA, he'd let me see her. But thats not true. Where would I stay? Now that his famiy is back in Florida, he moved back into the foreclosed house with them, living rent-free til the bank takes it back with 8 other family members. I am at my parents' house. I havent seen my baby and everytime my dad asks him to let me see her he says no. I know I can file contempt charges against him.. but I wwas waiting for Zaheer to get here for that. Because since it is child abuse to withhold a child from one parent with a court-ordered visitation order (unless abuse is at stake), he could go to jail or I could get custody. So I wanted Zaheer to be here to prove we are a stable family and can take care of her better than he can. So, I am buying my time, it is hard, but I am waiting it out til the time is right and I can get my baby back in my life. I have missed 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas's, 4 Eid's, and several other holidays and important dates in my daughter's life. I want her at the hospital to see her sister when she will be born.. but I dont see that happening.

So, now, maybe you all can understand why being without Zaheer is so hard. It was hard enough missing my daughter for over a year, but now missing both and facing a repeat c-section alone.... its hard. Luckily I have WIC and Medicaid. It is a rough existance and I am trying not to lose faith in Allah. Please pray for me. I spoked to FBI after this was done adn they said I never commited any crime and what I did was not wrong becuase there was no custody issued at that time. I asked the Dept of State, the Embassy, and the Senator... they all said this will not affect my Immigration case for Zaheer. So... please pray for me people. It's really hard to be strong sometimes. Very. Insha'Allah.. I will be ok soon. Allah Hafiz.

~Tara

[wellmux 3]

Hey everyone. Wow. I am sorry that you guys had to go through so much in your immigration processes. Yes, Allah does test us. It has been very hard for me as well. But I didn't technically have any family members stopping me from filing. I was lucky enough that I was able to do everything myself and use my father's address in USA (where I currently am) to send through. My story is a bit different than all....

I was married to a Bangladeshi man for nearly 7 yrs. We had a daughter together and after she was born, he started ignoring me and hanging out more and more with his friends. He would get high on weed, drunk, gamble all night long at poker parties with his friends and leave me home alone. We bought a 4 br house back in 2005 but his family got the DV visa and came over from BD. There were 13 of us living in one house. in a 4 br house. It was insane. So, I didn't want to sit in front of the TV with his mom chewing Paan and watching Indian Soap Operas all night, so my baby and I would spend all night in my room, practically just locked up because there was no other room in the house. The niece and nephew were always taking up the computer and phone. And I had nowhere to go. I grew up as an only child with two working parents, so this was quite an adjustment for me and I wasnt able to handle it. I started staying at my parents' house more and more on the nights he would hang out with his friends. He would usually come there afterwards and stay the night, but there wasn't a big enough bed, so we both slept seperate. Soon, he started just sleeping over at his friends' houses. After that, he started just going home and leaving me at my parents' house and only taking me home because his mom wanted to see the baby. He never gave me money for gas because "we had to buy a truck since he owned a boat" and it was MY vehicle (in his name) and it ate up too much gas for him to give me gas money. He never let me use my cell phone since none of my friends at AT&T and it would cost too much to chat on the phone. I couldn't use the house phone cuz some of his family was always on it. The only freedome and peace I had was staying at my parents' house. I asked several times for him to pay more attention to me and the baby. But he would get frustrated and say he is stressed about cash. Everytime I asked for some time, he would say "Are you trying to start an argument?" Once I told him that he never makes me feel special and neither does anyone else and he said "Well you have to earn it". I was like "What the hell?" that was when I lost a great amount of respect for him. It slowly went down more and more. I started staying at my parents' house more and more.

I met my "friend" (now husband) through another friend of mine who had a Pakistani husband. She used to try to reach him, and he would not answer his phoen or something, so she would have me (who had calling cards), call up her hubby's friend, Zaheer, and ask him to contact her husband. This is how we started talking. We just realized we had a lot in common and it went from there. I had told my ex that I wanted a divorce several times, he didnt take me seriously. When he found out that I was leaving him for real, he was pissed and threatened to take our daughter away. But by that time, I had already planned a vacation to Pakistan to visit Zaheer and to help gain experience for a book I was writing. My ex had already signed for her passport, and I applied for our visas. When he threatened to take her away from me, I called my friend who is a police officer and asked can he do that? and she said "No, but unless you two have a custody agreement, you both have equal rights over that baby". So, I left for Pakistan. I intended to only stay a little while because I wanted to come back home for the holidays. But my ex kept calling us and threatening us and saying "The FBI is after you, they are gonna catch you and arrest you for kidnapping and you will go to jail ... " etc. I was so scared. The Lahore embassy came ot our house to check on the well-being of me and the baby because he told my parents to have them come and check on us. they asked us some questions about what do we eat, and how do we like it there and took pics of me and her. Then they left. They were very nice. My parents said they never told them anything except that we were fine and healthy. My ex finally agreed to give me the divorce if I come home. I told him I will as long as he doesn't press any kind of charges because I did nothing wrong. He said "I will only not press charges if you give me the baby" and I said "Joint custody" and he said "Full custody". I didnt agree and he said "Fine, then you wont get the divorce, or immigration for Zaheer and you will get arrested as soon as the FBI gets there to you." He said "Just think about it, they will find you, its just a matter of time, and they already know where you live. They will take that baby from you in Pakistan and you will be stuck. Do you want them to take the baby?" and I was like no. So i reluctantly agreed, and went home. He promised that he would not press charges and etc. But still threatened that unless i gave him the baby he would fight the divorce until the day he had her. So, when I arrived at JFK, the security held me up, called the FBI cuz "someone" flagged my passport. I had to wait in a retaining room with a sick 2 yr old for 5 hours. No food, no medicine for her fever, nothing. they wouldn't tell me anything. Then finally they got ahold of the FBI and they said "Yeah, she is fine, let her go ahead" but by then I already missed my flight and had to stay overnight. I didnt have enough money for a hotel so they wanted me to stay at a homeless shelter. But the FBI had said that my ex was gonna pay for a hotel. but when we got there, they said "no. let her stay at the shelter". I had just enough money for one night at the JFK airport hotel. It was so late at night there were no restaurants open and no pizza places would deliver that late. So, no dinner for me and baby. I gave her a candy bar I had in my bag and some left over lemonade. I gave her a bath but there was no warm water in the tub so I had to warm it in the coffemaker and dump it into the tub for her. She was so sick and miserable. Had a cold. then, I got her out, dressed her, and laid her down for bed even though we had to get up in 4 and a half hours to make the next flight. That was the last time I got to snuggle my baby. I held her all night that I could, and she woke me up in the middle of the night cuz she was hungry or wanted me to hold her tighterr. I didn't want that night to end.

The next morning, I flew to miami. the FBI was waiting for me when I got off the plane. They told me they had to escort me to my ex, and give him the baby. She was in the stroller, so I just handed the stroller over to him and he hugged her. She was confused why he was sad. But he kept telling me "What you did was wrong". I just stood silently. He had calle dmy aunt and grandmother too, they were waiting there for me. I gave him her things, and I didn't want to tell her goodbye because I was afraid she would start crying and be sad because since the second she was born I have never ever been away from her. I only went to the movies like 3 times, leaving her with my parents. Other than that.. I was always with her 24/7. I told him to change her diaper so she could be more comfortable, and to give him a bit of responsibility since he never took care of her before. We had made an agreement that I would be able to see her anytime I wanted. I left with my aunt, watching him take my baby girl and push her in the stroller towards his car. She looked over the edge, sleepily at me, but never cried. I never said goodbye. That was the last time I saw my baby.

that was in December of 2008. She was almost 2.

I don't pretend what I did was right. I should have thought things through better. But, he had turned my family against me and Zaheer. He lied, boy did he lie, about things I said or did. I have never been in trouble in my life, dont even have any traffic violations. never did drugs. Never dropped outta school. Never went to parties or drink alcohol. Nothing. He does all that stuff. But still, he won.

He stayed at my mom and dad's house. He claims it was so he had help with the baby. But he insisted on having her, if he needed help to take care of her, he shouldn't have insisted on full custody. He just did it to prevent me from staying with them and getting support from them. He knew if I had nowhere to stay, I would have no choice but to go back to pakistan. He stayed there, he sold my truck. yeah, that gas-guzzler. I had no job, no home, no vehicle... no money. I lived with my aunt for a few weeks. we finalized the divorce and after everything was said and done under the pretense that I would be able to see her even if he had primary custody, he came to me and said "I will never let you see her or speak to her ever. I dont want her to get messed up like you." And to this day, he has held true to tthat promise. Not letting me see her. Or Speak to her. he tells my parents that if I had stayed in USA, he'd let me see her. But thats not true. Where would I stay? Now that his famiy is back in Florida, he moved back into the foreclosed house with them, living rent-free til the bank takes it back with 8 other family members. I am at my parents' house. I havent seen my baby and everytime my dad asks him to let me see her he says no. I know I can file contempt charges against him.. but I wwas waiting for Zaheer to get here for that. Because since it is child abuse to withhold a child from one parent with a court-ordered visitation order (unless abuse is at stake), he could go to jail or I could get custody. So I wanted Zaheer to be here to prove we are a stable family and can take care of her better than he can. So, I am buying my time, it is hard, but I am waiting it out til the time is right and I can get my baby back in my life. I have missed 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas's, 4 Eid's, and several other holidays and important dates in my daughter's life. I want her at the hospital to see her sister when she will be born.. but I dont see that happening.

So, now, maybe you all can understand why being without Zaheer is so hard. It was hard enough missing my daughter for over a year, but now missing both and facing a repeat c-section alone.... its hard. Luckily I have WIC and Medicaid. It is a rough existance and I am trying not to lose faith in Allah. Please pray for me. I spoked to FBI after this was done adn they said I never commited any crime and what I did was not wrong becuase there was no custody issued at that time. I asked the Dept of State, the Embassy, and the Senator... they all said this will not affect my Immigration case for Zaheer. So... please pray for me people. It's really hard to be strong sometimes. Very. Insha'Allah.. I will be ok soon. Allah Hafiz.

~Tara

Tara i pray for u and ur husband to receive his visa very soon its being its 4 months since ur husbands interview and insha Allah this month he will receive his visa.

[ARMANI KHAN 3]

You never mentioned how your second interview went? How did it go? What did they ask...what did they say?

well my 2nd interview go well. the CO he asked me a lot of questions and he again kept my all original documents and passport.

i request him for my documents he said not i m going to keep it wd ur processing documents and end he told me that now u can go to home thats all.

we r so worried.... plz any advise????

[Usmomo 0]

hmmm still waiting.... n waiting...

Hw r u hopeful786? n MumtazG38.. feisal Bhai already left for us or no?

Anything new with any body?

[Hopeful786 0]

Asalamulaikum everyone!.... so my fiance came... the POE went so smoooth and easy he was out in 30 minutes. The only question they asked was what are you here for and my fiance said to marry my fiance and jokingly gave him an invitation card. I told him to print the invitation cards from there with our names and the location of the hall... and the immigration officer laughed and said ok welcome to new york enjoy... he was supposed to arrive at 3 pm and he arrived at 1 pm to JFK and was done by 2 p.m.... How is everyone doing... USmomo any updates... zaheershezadi any updates? feisal when are you departing insha'Allah?

[Hopeful786 0]

GUYS GUYS GUYS..... NO AP..... Did u heard that right? NO AP......

NO AP

I remember some one here discussing the same situation and people were telling them that u might still be on AP. We didnt get any green paper. We got a white paper and they took his passport.

I just talked to my husband. He got out of the embassy. They gave him a white paper with the couriers on it. I will get back to u with details... in a while... I gota go and tell everyone.Its 3 am in the morning here. and I gota wake everyone up. Hahaha... I just called my mother in law... to tell her the news.

They said u ll get ur passport in a week. I dunt know how does tht work. My hubs was saying they were putting people on AP.

I will get back to u guys...

I Can believe for what happened.. I had made my mind for AP. And my wedding plans were 80% confirmed in Pakistan. It was almost confirmed that I ll go to pakistan for my rukhsati in a month. And look what happened...

NO AP Guys... NO AP.....

I ll get back to u in detail in a while.

I hope insha'Allah you and everyone else doesn't have AP.. especially when you are in a tough situation as well as zaheershezadi

[Hopeful786 0]

wellmux did you hear any updates? I'm praying for you all insha'Allah to hear good news!!!

[ZaheersShezadi 0]

Nope no updates for us. Thanks to all you who ofered your prayers and support. My dad asked my ex today if I could see my daughter and he said no... go figure. Anyhow.. I have been praying as much as possible. So has Zaheer. He will go over to his Pir Sahib soon and see what he says. I have been praying Surah Quraish 21 times a day on top of my normal prayers because we were told this was what we needed to do in our case. Zaheer is reading Surah Muzzamil and also doing something, I am unsure what (sorry I am not familiar with culture), where he prays over a cup of rice and then throws it on the roof for the birds in the morning. I am unsure what the purpose of it is but he says he can't talk about it until he gets what he prays for. I am grateful, however that due to this situation he has become a lot more "on-schedule" with his prayers. He used to never miss Namaz before we got married, but after that, he kinda got off the routine. Now, at least he has been getting up for all prayers and even at 2 am too. I keep having dreams about an older man dressed in all white Shalwar Kameez and a Tupi who puts his hands on my head like the way elders do when they meet you. I have had it a couple times and each time in the dream i am speaking Punjabi. Anybody got any ideas why? I also had a dream that I asked a woman with a feather in her hair if my husband woudl come to me soon and she nodded her head. I hope these dreams are good signs. let me know what yu all think. Good luck to you all and congrats on good POEs. Allah Hafiz.

~Tara

[hshah08 0]

ZaheerShezadi. I am really sorry to hear all tht. Specially how you had to leave ur daughter at the airport. Ahhhh... Allah is testing you. Keep praying hard. You must pass this test since u r already in the situation and you cant fail. He cant keep you away from your daughter. She is just a little girl. And you are her mother. I am a pre law student, and I didnt think this is a possibility to keep a child away frm mother at this age. But once your husband comes here you guys will be able to show them tht u can keep her well fed and well sheltered Inshallah. This is going to be a time When ur X fails and you can celebrate your sucess time. Keep yourself strong and Say No to Fear. This is where we fail. we have lots of fears tht keeps us weak inside. Say No to fear. Initiate a step even if its hard and keep all your trust in Allah. Trust me.. it gauranteed... when we initiate a step in unfavorable circumstances only having a strong honest faith in Allah... then Allah makes us go through the end and grant us with success. If a person is having a trust in Allah... Allah wont do anything to fulfil the trust? Impossible....

Keep you faith Strong. These times are making you stronger. You are not going to be a person that have fears anymore. These situations only makes us stronger. I have experienced tht. I know I still have lots of fears .... but I have tried tht.... Taking a step with a trust in Allah... When nothing works out Allah makes u go through tht. Also do not forget to Thank Allah for what He has blessed you with. You have parents, a family, you have a loving husband mashallah and your second child is on ur way. Hope u r well fed and well sheltered. And the moments you r waiting for are right at the corner. Inshallah. I have lived without parents.... There have been times when I have missed them more than anything. In my own mind I have argued with Allah for why He took them away... But then I understood Allah has my best interest... if not in this world then the next final world. But I know Allah will not be unfair to me. If all these hardships makes me come closer to Allah then why not. I do not want to be one of those who have everything but they are not close to Allah. They have everything even then they do not Thank Allah. I will still Thank Allah for making me stay well fed and giving me shelter even if something important is missing.

These situations keeps us closer to Allah. The ones who have hardships in lives are the chosen ones. It gives them a reason to stay near to Allah. And if they only look at Allah, He comes closer and listen to them....

Keep ur self strong sweets... It will be over soon. The time is just around the corner when u ll be with ur two kids and ur husband.. Inshallah... Keep smiling and enjoy the time thinking about the baby who is coming soon Inshallah.

You are in my prayers.