Are Muslims in America Unfriendly?

[oldahmed 38]

Sadly, all the muslims we have met have been a bit on the rude side. My husband won't even go to the mosque here because of it.

That's a bad excuse from your husband.

[oldahmed 38]

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

Well it's not a swear word, and it's one I wouldn't admit I ever know, ... and personally I never admit I know what any of the bad words mean... I'm serious.. After 31 years with arabs I've learned it's much better if they don't know what you know... and especially if you happen to know bad words.. and more so if they are bad words directed at WOMEN...

I only know Malika... (angel)...

Before I knew what the word meant, I had only overheard it used in conversation, so one night I was at dinner with an Egyptian friend and his two Jordanian friends... they asked me what Arabic words I knew, and that was the first one that came to my head, so I said it. They started shooshing me, looking around us to see if anyone had heard, and blushed like crazy. My Egyptian friend was just cracking up, because I'm sure he knew where I had heard it

I asked Waleed what it meant and he was so disgusted and angry I learned it. He doesn't want me to know any bad words in Arabic much less say the English ones in this house.

Then Waleed seems to be a good person because that's how his word should make you feel: disgusted and angry.

[justashooter 430]

Even in the mosques now that I think of it not one person ever came over to me to introduce themselves. These women go to this mosque every Friday so I was an obvious newbie.

it could be that you are, and everybody knows it.

there are hundreds of different kinds of muslims out there, and they are from many different ethnic backgrounds. there are more "hinese"muslims that arab muslims, dont'cha know? they don't salaam at all. they "ni hao ma" if they're han people, if they are western chinese they speak uigyur or some other caucasus dialect.

with arabs, the fact that you're not arab could be the issue. the fact that you're a convert is prolly relevant. the fact that you don't know when to greet based upon cues given in the body language is prolly also an issue. the fact that you're not a native speaker of any of their languages is surely an issue.

the only thing more frustrating for me when living in china than strangers walking up and saying "hello?", which was all the english they knew, was finding the occasional functional speaker of english who had no cultural commonality upon which to base a real conversation. you may be seen in the same light.

[Ahmeds Girl 0]

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

This thread is about muslims being unfriendly. Why on earth would a muslim women be less friendly to a woman wearing hijab?

Another point I was thinking about while reading the responses is that my own perception is as a veiled muslim woman being dissed by other muslims in terms of their not giving salams or even a friendly smile. Maybe it has to do with born muslims not being too open to converts. I think that geg touched on this a while ago and it seems to be kind of true.

Maybe if you just treated people as people... and not Muslims/hijabis... you might get more positive response. Maybe not all Muslim women think as you do.

Again, who are you? You have not posted anything visa related since you joined vj. Your first post on VJ was to bash me and spew lies about me. Seriously who are you? What is your purpose here other than to p!ss people off?

Maybe if just a fraction of your paranoia shows offline it might explain why people have such a problem with you. As for 'spewing lies', you are totally out of order.

[doodlebugg 10]

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

This thread is about muslims being unfriendly. Why on earth would a muslim women be less friendly to a woman wearing hijab?

Another point I was thinking about while reading the responses is that my own perception is as a veiled muslim woman being dissed by other muslims in terms of their not giving salams or even a friendly smile. Maybe it has to do with born muslims not being too open to converts. I think that geg touched on this a while ago and it seems to be kind of true.

Maybe if you just treated people as people... and not Muslims/hijabis... you might get more positive response. Maybe not all Muslim women think as you do.

Again, who are you? You have not posted anything visa related since you joined vj. Your first post on VJ was to bash me and spew lies about me. Seriously who are you? What is your purpose here other than to p!ss people off?

Maybe if just a fraction of your paranoia shows offline it might explain why people have such a problem with you. As for 'spewing lies', you are totally out of order.

Here's your first post ever on VJ:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2593892

Lies that were spewed:

You have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on a tube reversal operation and many many thousands on getting your man to the states. Before giving advice on finances it would be wise to look at your own posts. You told VJ that your home might be foreclosed soon and you could lose your house. Maybe if you had acted with more care your small daughters could stay in the home they grew up in.

I'm going to refrain from responding to you from here on out. You are a pathetic wimp of a troll.

the only thing more frustrating for me when living in china than strangers walking up and saying "hello?", which was all the english they knew, was finding the occasional functional speaker of english who had no cultural commonality upon which to base a real conversation. you may be seen in the same light.

I was with my husband when we were walking the beach and came across the muslim men who weren't even going to bother saying salam to him if I hadn't elbowed him. I believe he had some "cultural commonality" upon which to base a real conversation.

[Sandrila 1]

no offense, but when i read your post, i was like "why are you even dealing with him if he's that annoying"..that's kind of sad......

That's a fair question.

I have two answers.

1.) Because I committed, before God, to a marriage.

2.) Because I feel that, in a lot of ways, he can't help himself because he's a product of his environment. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Egyptian men should have to marry Egyptian men ....

no Egyptian husband but I liked it

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thread closed at the request of the OP