Are Muslims in America Unfriendly?

[Ahmeds Girl 0]

My experience with Muslims in America has been a very positive one. I find people to be very friendly (offline!). I'm not Muslim, but have found veiled women to be lovely to me, in or out of America.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

My first experience with a muslima was in HS and she was very kind. She wore the veil in PE class and covered up which made her stand out and I befriended her. She shared literature with me on her religion and explain she was not sunni but the other kind, shi'a, and that not all muslim females covered. I was always curious but didn't go into that world until meeting Waleed. Even now I know where the Mosque's are in my local area back home but I haven't approached any of them. I only think about it in passing as a preparation for Waleed's coming.

My next experience with muslima's was here online and I find you all friendly except for a few that show up at times to fight in the past. The ones I met in person in Seattle were pleasant and kind. Some of you I would never have guessed were Muslims. Otherwise the majority of my experience with Muslims has been in Egypt.

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

Well it's not a swear word, and it's one I wouldn't admit I ever know, ... and personally I never admit I know what any of the bad words mean... I'm serious.. After 31 years with arabs I've learned it's much better if they don't know what you know... and especially if you happen to know bad words.. and more so if they are bad words directed at WOMEN...

I only know Malika... (angel)...

[amysaid 9]

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

Well it's not a swear word, and it's one I wouldn't admit I ever know, ... and personally I never admit I know what any of the bad words mean... I'm serious.. After 31 years with arabs I've learned it's much better if they don't know what you know... and especially if you happen to know bad words.. and more so if they are bad words directed at WOMEN...

I only know Malika... (angel)...

Before I knew what the word meant, I had only overheard it used in conversation, so one night I was at dinner with an Egyptian friend and his two Jordanian friends... they asked me what Arabic words I knew, and that was the first one that came to my head, so I said it. They started shooshing me, looking around us to see if anyone had heard, and blushed like crazy. My Egyptian friend was just cracking up, because I'm sure he knew where I had heard it

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

Well it's not a swear word, and it's one I wouldn't admit I ever know, ... and personally I never admit I know what any of the bad words mean... I'm serious.. After 31 years with arabs I've learned it's much better if they don't know what you know... and especially if you happen to know bad words.. and more so if they are bad words directed at WOMEN...

I only know Malika... (angel)...

Before I knew what the word meant, I had only overheard it used in conversation, so one night I was at dinner with an Egyptian friend and his two Jordanian friends... they asked me what Arabic words I knew, and that was the first one that came to my head, so I said it. They started shooshing me, looking around us to see if anyone had heard, and blushed like crazy. My Egyptian friend was just cracking up, because I'm sure he knew where I had heard it

I asked Waleed what it meant and he was so disgusted and angry I learned it. He doesn't want me to know any bad words in Arabic much less say the English ones in this house.

[karimcharleen 0]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

lol, that is funny. don't he know god hear all languages???

[amysaid 9]

I asked Waleed what it meant and he was so disgusted and angry I learned it. He doesn't want me to know any bad words in Arabic much less say the English ones in this house.

Ah, I am a bad influence! Sorry

[Aymsgirl 0]

I asked Waleed what it meant and he was so disgusted and angry I learned it. He doesn't want me to know any bad words in Arabic much less say the English ones in this house.

Ah, I am a bad influence! Sorry

No, you aren't. Like KH said, sometimes it's better for you to not tell what you know when you speak a different language amd are around the people. There can be a reason for this..eyes and ears open! We are grown ups here and just because Liv's hubby got upset she knew it doesn't mean it's disgusting or bad for anybody else to at least be aware of those words when they are in bad conversation or could be directed to yourself. That is what I mean about eyes and ears open. It would be like our husband's coming here and being talked bad to and standing there with a smile on their face while they are being talked to like a dog. It's truth and fact people talk and it's life. I am new at learning the language but really learn a lot from just listening to the conversation and you can pick words out of it and figure out what people are talking about. Just remember what KH said...it will make sense to you one day

BTW, some you people in Egypt taught me the words not my hubby. It is kind of like when you are really young and there is a baby around and you tell it to say words that maybe the mommy wouldn't want to be heard....that is how these young kids were doing to me. I was saying the word and had no idea what it meant. Yes, they are probably bad by doing it but they were young too. Excusable....I walked away knowing something from a different language!

Edited June 30, 2009 by Aymsgirl

[ya hayat alby ♥ 0]

I've had good experiences so far here in bloomington and my husband never really complained except from the clerk at the halal store!! I always smile and greet first when I see a sister; they always greet back. In Las Vegas it was really good too...I saw hijabis everywhere and there some of them actually started the greetings.. Loved it! I'm always so happy to see another muslim!!

Always try to give the benefit of the doubt; you never know!

Ah, I had the same problem with that halal store owner! He is a bit odd. :\

Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though. A few times they just gave me really weird looks as they just walked on by. Oh well.

[Ahmeds Girl 0]

I've had good experiences so far here in bloomington and my husband never really complained except from the clerk at the halal store!! I always smile and greet first when I see a sister; they always greet back. In Las Vegas it was really good too...I saw hijabis everywhere and there some of them actually started the greetings.. Loved it! I'm always so happy to see another muslim!!

Always try to give the benefit of the doubt; you never know!

Ah, I had the same problem with that halal store owner! He is a bit odd. :\

Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though. A few times they just gave me really weird looks as they just walked on by. Oh well.

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

[doodlebugg 10]

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

This thread is about muslims being unfriendly. Why on earth would a muslim women be less friendly to a woman wearing hijab?

Another point I was thinking about while reading the responses is that my own perception is as a veiled muslim woman being dissed by other muslims in terms of their not giving salams or even a friendly smile. Maybe it has to do with born muslims not being too open to converts. I think that geg touched on this a while ago and it seems to be kind of true.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

Sadly, all the muslims we have met have been a bit on the rude side. My husband won't even go to the mosque here because of it.

[Ahmeds Girl 0]

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

This thread is about muslims being unfriendly. Why on earth would a muslim women be less friendly to a woman wearing hijab?

Another point I was thinking about while reading the responses is that my own perception is as a veiled muslim woman being dissed by other muslims in terms of their not giving salams or even a friendly smile. Maybe it has to do with born muslims not being too open to converts. I think that geg touched on this a while ago and it seems to be kind of true.

Maybe if you just treated people as people... and not Muslims/hijabis... you might get more positive response. Maybe not all Muslim women think as you do.

Edited June 30, 2009 by Ahmeds Girl

[doodlebugg 10]

"Most sisters give me salaams back, too. I noticed the gulf/saudi ones were MUCH less friendly though."

I'm not questioning your personal experiences, but your comments made me question mainstream attitudes and friendliness towards women wearing the burqua. It's a form of dress that is disliked even amongst many Muslims and it must be very hard to wear it knowing that. My experience is different to yours, but the initial trepidation I once felt has vanished.

I am not directing this at you - your comments in made me think. Perhaps the general dislike of the burqua leads to some people being less friendly and 'normal' with veiled women. How much of it is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say.

This thread is about muslims being unfriendly. Why on earth would a muslim women be less friendly to a woman wearing hijab?

Another point I was thinking about while reading the responses is that my own perception is as a veiled muslim woman being dissed by other muslims in terms of their not giving salams or even a friendly smile. Maybe it has to do with born muslims not being too open to converts. I think that geg touched on this a while ago and it seems to be kind of true.

Maybe if you just treated people as people... and not Muslims/hijabis... you might get more positive response. Maybe not all Muslim women think as you do.

Again, who are you? You have not posted anything visa related since you joined vj. Your first post on VJ was to bash me and spew lies about me. Seriously who are you? What is your purpose here other than to p!ss people off?

[Meriem_DZ 37]

The mosque we attend is a small one near Mississippi State Univ which is 45 min drive. In the ladies section the reverts just about equal the life long Muslims. Even the Imam's wife is a revert. On a good day their will be about 10-15 women (plus a few children) at Friday prayer and 50 or so men. After prayer the women go around giving salams and hugs and we stand around talking for a bit. The ones that are a little "stand offish", I think are the ones that dont speak English well, (which are very few), but we try to include them in the conversations too. You get a lot of students at the Mosque that come and go through out the year. Overall I think our Mosque is very welcoming even to reverts, since there are several of us reverts already there.

As far as out in the community, I am the only hijabi Muslim in my little town. There are several Muslim men married to non Muslims here. Occasionally I will run into a hijabi while shopping in a larger town about 35 miles from here. I have said Salam and got one in return with a smile and made several new aquaintances this way. There are not many Muslims here in this part of Mississippi so it is nice to see other hijabed women out and about.

Meriem