Are Muslims in America Unfriendly?

[Ihavequestions 419]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

and they said theyare religious separating women in a room and men in a room as if those women are actually invisible they don't walk in the street!

I felt it was retarded!! I live in Cairo 24 years and I have never seen such a thing! How come they act that retarded here!

This is not uncommon in Upper Egypt. I've been sent off to the "women's room" more than once there.

But I gotta say to be Fair in Egypt people usually don't say hi to starnger esp. women! Men don't say hi or turn their head away because they don't wanna look like they are flirting! It's a cultural thing!

Agreed. This is why never speak to a man first. NEVER.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

^ Except in Hurghada.

[sara..... 371]

In the city I live in, there are so few Muslims in general that I've never had this issue. Except today, just before I read this, I was walking through the Walmart parking lot with my daughter and a guy walked past me talking on his cell in Arabic... I didn't look at him or turn around, but i HEARD him turn around (his voice was faint, and then got louder for a second) so I knew he must've done a double-take at the hijabi with the pale blue-eyed kid in tow. There are a handful of hijabis in my city, but for its size, I don't meet up with them often. Whenever I do get salams from someone, I am usually taken completely by surprise, and end up stammering my salams while the person who is talking me is asking where I'm from, and being baffled when I say "Oregon."

Salam, u live about 25 miles from where i do, and i have to say that i have only ran into maybe three of four other muslims in that area in the last four years. u would think a city that size would have a lot huh?

sara

[Ihavequestions 419]

no offense, but when i read your post, i was like "why are you even dealing with him if he's that annoying"..that's kind of sad......

That's a fair question.

I have two answers.

1.) Because I committed, before God, to a marriage.

2.) Because I feel that, in a lot of ways, he can't help himself because he's a product of his environment. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Egyptian men should have to marry Egyptian men ....

[Bigbear 1]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

Totally agree with you, I lived in Cairo all my life and those people I met they come from the country side in Egypt even thought ther are doctors here but they didn't know basic ethics! of treating their guests!

and they said theyare religious separating women in a room and men in a room as if those women are actually invisible they don't walk in the street!

I felt it was retarded!! I live in Cairo 24 years and I have never seen such a thing! How come they act that retarded here!

This is not uncommon in Upper Egypt. I've been sent off to the "women's room" more than once there.

very true! esp. Upper Egypt women are treating like they are a second degree creature!

But I gotta say to be Fair in Egypt people usually don't say hi to starnger esp. women! Men don't say hi or turn their head away because they don't wanna look like they are flirting! It's a cultural thing!

Agreed. This is why never speak to a man first. NEVER.

Edited June 27, 2009 by Bigbear

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

If you can speak a common language in a social setting, it is rude to speak Arabic or any other language in a social setting when it leaves anyone out. I know I've been doubted for not posting in Arabic on this board when Arabic was being posted to me, but I won't do it. There have been too many situations in and out of the US where the wives of western Arab friends are being left out of conversations and that is not only rude, but unIslamic. Many Arabs consider Arabic to be the language of God because it's the language of the Quran, but it's best to apply the Message of the Quran and demonstrate mercy and inclusiveness when dealing with people who intend no harm to you by not harmng them, as well.

Edited June 27, 2009 by Sofiyya

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

You're not the first to feel that way . . . Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand the Muslims

now that was an interesting link. where do you pinpoint the failures that causes what the author writes about?

I have a few theories, some growing out of colonialism, but all of them can be traced back to reactionary pride, tribalism, and a tendency to cling to pre-Islamic social constructs.

[Susita 175]

At least here, all the muslims that I have come into contact with are extremely friendly and cordial. It's quite refreshing when dealing with all these impatient New Yorkers to have someone actually say "hello how are you" and actually wait for a response!

Of course, like any other religion, you're bound to have some grouchy ones.

Just an observation

[Muh and me 18]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

If you can speak a common language in a social setting, it is rude to speak Arabic or any other language in a social setting when it leaves anyone out. I know I've been doubted for not posting in Arabic on this board when Arabic was being posted to me, but I won't do it. There have been too many situations in and out of the US where the wives of western Arab friends are being left out of conversations and that is not only rude, but unIslamic. Many Arabs consider Arabic to be the language of God because it's the language of the Quran, but it's best to apply the Message of the Quran and demonstrate mercy and inclusiveness when dealing with people who intend no harm to you by not harmng them, as well.

that is what i told my husband but according to him, its their culture. I just think its plain rude.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

On our wedding day in the car ride to the hotel I asked the driver, my husband, and his brother to speak English since I knew they all could. The driver is married to a German and they speak English together, my husband of course does, and his brother works for Vodaphone so he speaks English better then all of them. The driver apologized and they spoke English for all of 2 minutes and then reverted to Arabic excluding me for the rest of the 45 minute drive. I will never forget that and how insulting it was to me.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

If you can speak a common language in a social setting, it is rude to speak Arabic or any other language in a social setting when it leaves anyone out. I know I've been doubted for not posting in Arabic on this board when Arabic was being posted to me, but I won't do it. There have been too many situations in and out of the US where the wives of western Arab friends are being left out of conversations and that is not only rude, but unIslamic. Many Arabs consider Arabic to be the language of God because it's the language of the Quran, but it's best to apply the Message of the Quran and demonstrate mercy and inclusiveness when dealing with people who intend no harm to you by not harmng them, as well.

that is what i told my husband but according to him, its their culture. I just think its plain rude.

I've heard that from other Moroccans, too, but rudeness is not culture, it's a lack of culture. He knows better.

[Aymsgirl 0]

no offense, but when i read your post, i was like "why are you even dealing with him if he's that annoying"..that's kind of sad......

That's a fair question.

I have two answers.

1.) Because I committed, before God, to a marriage.

2.) Because I feel that, in a lot of ways, he can't help himself because he's a product of his environment. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Egyptian men should have to marry Egyptian men ....

I totally agree with number 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ihavequestions 419]

2.) Because I feel that, in a lot of ways, he can't help himself because he's a product of his environment. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Egyptian men should have to marry Egyptian men ....

I totally agree with number 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine if Egyptian Male #1 came home and Egyptian Male #2 either didn't have dinner on the table or it wasn't to Egyptian Male #1's liking?

How about if Egyptian Male #2 tried to walk out the door in jeans? What would Egyptian Male #1 have to say about that and how would Egyptian Male #2 react to the criticism?

Which one would fetch the tea?

Who would have to dash off to the bedroom when the fix-it guy stopped by?

Whenever the unmarried guys I work with grumble about women (and it happens, never horrible stuff, but it happens) I suggest they consider marrying an Egyptian man just so they'll know first-hand what they are like to deal with - and ask them if they'd be willing to give up going outside in jeans. Man, they so get it!

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

If you can speak a common language in a social setting, it is rude to speak Arabic or any other language in a social setting when it leaves anyone out. I know I've been doubted for not posting in Arabic on this board when Arabic was being posted to me, but I won't do it. There have been too many situations in and out of the US where the wives of western Arab friends are being left out of conversations and that is not only rude, but unIslamic. Many Arabs consider Arabic to be the language of God because it's the language of the Quran, but it's best to apply the Message of the Quran and demonstrate mercy and inclusiveness when dealing with people who intend no harm to you by not harmng them, as well.

that is what i told my husband but according to him, its their culture. I just think its plain rude.

I've heard that from other Moroccans, too, but rudeness is not culture, it's a lack of culture. He knows better.

That was my point. If they were raised better, they wouldn't do it.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I really almost laughed out loud at what you typed. LOL.....for the men living in Egypt it is so truthful! (and some of them here). You crack me up sometimes!

So funny IHQ. Although, none of your scenarios are like my Egyptian man and I am not joking. He will wear jeans (only black ones) and coochies, fetch his own tea and probably just starve if there is no dinner. He is pretty easy going except for when he is worried about something then he becomes the grouch of the year. I would like to see the head butting going on with two Egyptian men when they are both RIGHT!

[Muh and me 18]

I am in a situation right now where I am the only one that don't speak arabic and that's all they are talking, I am so mad I could spit cause my husband says I am talking bad cause they are not including me so to say. I told him I'd he doesn't teach me arabic there would be he)) to pay!