Are Muslims in America Unfriendly?

[~ameriptian~ 54]

That's a good topic. I haven't been to US yet and have been wondering how it is going to be when I am finally married to my fiance. I am hijabi and my fiance loves it! He's the only Muslim in his family and it's going to be unusual to me that I'm the only veiled woman in the family... I think I'm going to kinda feel awkward if I don't see veiled ladies around much lol... I say salam alykum when I meet my friends, enter my workplace, get on a bus or a cab and almost everywhere. I don't say salam alykum to every person I pass by on the street though, it doesn't really happen unless someone starts saying salam first to me. And, well, usually Muslim ladies who wear the face cover (niqab) here in Egypt ONLY say salam to EACH OTHER, I don't usually get salam from them cause I just cover my hair and neck unless the lady knows me in person and we met by chance in the street. John and I personally think the veil/hijab is right, if a lady doesn't want to do it it's up to her but wearing it is nice. We actually discussed the issue a few days ago and I told him I don't want to feel alienated or very different, I like that we get to have Muslim couple friends our age when I'm there. It's going to be very important to me to still feel at home... We already have a couple Egyptian Muslim friends he met in the mosque and they phoned me and I'm expecting them to visit me and my family soon, but they are a lot older than us.. We are in our 20's and the couple are like our parents.. I like them though and I'm thankful we have older wise friends like them...

I really hope it doesn't get to me and make me sad that I find Muslims/North Africans unfriendly and unwelcoming. I like to have friends that have similar personalities, interests, habits, etc. like mine... It's not exclusive to a certain race or religion. I accept and respect everyone and believe in diversity, but it would be really nice if we have Muslim friends like we are....

[~Jackie~ 30]

Aya I think you will find most Americans very accepting of your hijab What state will you be moving to?

Jackie

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Aya I think you will find most Americans very accepting of your hijab What state will you be moving to?

Jackie

Thank you Jackie I'm moving to south west of Florida... There's a mosque a couple of blocks away from where John lives

[~Jackie~ 30]

ohhh south Florida...lucky girl! It is a beautiful part of America. That is great that there is a mosque nearby. This will help in your adjustment.

Jackie

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I already feel lucky that I found my wonderful man I've always liked Florida and I can't wait till he and I are married and start our lives there

[doodlebugg 10]

just wondering since you and your husband are devout, practicing Muslims

your husband didn't mind that you smiled at the men?

I don't wear the head scarf and I think my husband would flip it if I smiled, even if being friendly

just asking.

Well first of all we're far from devout. I can't remember the last time we went to a mosque or prayed together.

I don't go around smiling at men while we walk together. The little boys who started jumping up and down and talking to me were very cute and when I see children like that I usually smile or say something to the parents so they don't think I'm some weirdo. There were no women in the group that was walking (maybe they would have been friendlier?) so I looked at who I assumed were the father and grandfather and smiled.

My husband isn't really the jealous type and neither am I. We're both pretty secure in our relationship enough that a smile isn't gonna make or break us.

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

Where I live there are precious few "Sista Whitie's" (Anglo Saxon Hijabi's) so when you find two in the same space, even if it's from one end of Costco to the other you can count on at least one of them beating feet over to say Salaam and see who it is... And for the most part I always salaam every muhajaba that I see... So I had to supress the habit of salaaming every muhajaba I ran into when I went to Egypt... I would have lost my voice if I kept it up!!!

Sometimes when I'm out by myself in hijab young brothers will salaam me... (we have alot of students here from KSA and the Gulf) since I'm old enough to be their Mom I think it's just fine... But when I'm with H men don't salaam me.... (pity the fool who tried it..) H is rather "stern" looking... He hasn't figured out yet how to tell who the other Muslim men are... and he's quite shy so not sure if he will be the first to give salaams..

As for feeling welcome by Muslim women..... NOT AT ALL... almost EVER. Secular arab women in the store are more friendly to me than women in the mosques. They are generally RUDE, or act like you are invisible... unless they know you.... And they are equally unhospitable to non-Muslim women who come to visit the mosque... It's down right EMBARASSING! The first time I visited a new mosque close to my house I hadn't been sitting down for a minute when a woman came over and started grilling me..... Was I Muslim??? Where did I get my hijab? Who was I married to? Where was he from? And none of it was said in a friendly way! She might as well shined a spot light on my face and tapped a night stick on my chest!!!!

Typically the immigrant community bands together and segregates themselves from the Sista Whitie's... they claim isn't because they want to speak their own language... 2 years ago during Ramadan my best Sista Whitie girlfriend had a baby shower for her daughter... starting with an iftar dinner.... Guests arrived a little before Maghrib and when it was time to break the fast I started passing out dates... When I put the plate in front of 2 Paki sisters one of them looked at me, then turned to her friend and said, "Is it time to break the fast???"... I swear I wanted to say, NO I'm just trying to TRICK YOU!!!!! Geez, what a nice way to treat your "sister" in Islam...

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I would have to admit that most Muslims in the US aren't very friendly and that is very sad to me. I don't cover, but Arabs, male and female, will often come up to me to speak to me and ask me where I'm from because they recognize me as Arab. For some reason, they don't approach my husband, and he wouldn't have any Muslim friends here if I didn't work with Arabs and Muslims. Some weekends, we go "Arab hunting" in an area of Denver where I know a lot of people from Muslim countries live and hang out. I apologize for the way converts are too often treated by born Muslims. They should know better.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

You're not the first to feel that way . . . Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand the Muslims

[amysaid 9]

In the city I live in, there are so few Muslims in general that I've never had this issue. Except today, just before I read this, I was walking through the Walmart parking lot with my daughter and a guy walked past me talking on his cell in Arabic... I didn't look at him or turn around, but i HEARD him turn around (his voice was faint, and then got louder for a second) so I knew he must've done a double-take at the hijabi with the pale blue-eyed kid in tow. There are a handful of hijabis in my city, but for its size, I don't meet up with them often. Whenever I do get salams from someone, I am usually taken completely by surprise, and end up stammering my salams while the person who is talking me is asking where I'm from, and being baffled when I say "Oregon."

[Bajih 4]

Salaam,

Had to put in my 2 cents! I think the "friendly" issue all depends on a few things: where you are living; and who is there. Where I live people are pretty much very friendly. I have some wonderful Muslim friends I have made over the years since I converted. I think in any population though, there are some who are just not friendly- but then I have to question whether there is a cultural difference there? Maybe their telling me to sit in the next row or not saying salaam back is something learned. ?? Some take everything so seriously. Some are rude. When you think about it, that is just the diversity in any population. Seek those who are like you.

Insha'Allah things will be fine!

Bajih

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

You're not the first to feel that way . . . Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand the Muslims

i totally agree

[Ihavequestions 419]

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

You're not the first to feel that way . . . Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand the Muslims

i totally agree

Me too.

Quite an interesing article, one which astutely sums up my own feelings on the subect.

I was chased out of a Mosque - by my own husband. We were in Cairo and, evidently, it was okay if I stayed right behind him except when he walked into a Mosque. When he turned around and saw me he scolded me and told me to leave. Then, outside, he ripped into me: "That was a Mosque!"

Not only that, but when someone asked him if he'd taken me to the Mosque, he lied and bragged he took me to one in Cairo.

Then, when we were going to a wedding ceremony at a Mosque, he insisted that my hair had to be covered because women have to be covered in a Mosque. He didn't ask if I was menstruating which I KNOW is the only reason I couldn't enter. His primary concern was how I looked, even though it wouldn't matter to God whether my hair was covered or not. But then, this is the same guy who "knows" Muslim women who don't cover are either "bad Muslims" or have "bad husbands" because, in his version of Islam, it's compulsory.

He asked me a couple of weeks ago, while he was having a "religious moment" why I wasn't Muslim, and my answer was "Muslims." Not all Muslims, mind you, but the vast majority of them that I've met disuade me from even considering it. Those I've found who live closest to their Book are converts.

Anyway, back to topic, I have to wonder if it's because, culturally, those men don't talk to women who aren't family in general?

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Me too.

Quite an interesing article, one which astutely sums up my own feelings on the subect.

I was chased out of a Mosque - by my own husband. We were in Cairo and, evidently, it was okay if I stayed right behind him except when he walked into a Mosque. When he turned around and saw me he scolded me and told me to leave. Then, outside, he ripped into me: "That was a Mosque!"

Not only that, but when someone asked him if he'd taken me to the Mosque, he lied and bragged he took me to one in Cairo.

Then, when we were going to a wedding ceremony at a Mosque, he insisted that my hair had to be covered because women have to be covered in a Mosque. He didn't ask if I was menstruating which I KNOW is the only reason I couldn't enter. His primary concern was how I looked, even though it wouldn't matter to God whether my hair was covered or not. But then, this is the same guy who "knows" Muslim women who don't cover are either "bad Muslims" or have "bad husbands" because, in his version of Islam, it's compulsory.

He asked me a couple of weeks ago, while he was having a "religious moment" why I wasn't Muslim, and my answer was "Muslims." Not all Muslims, mind you, but the vast majority of them that I've met disuade me from even considering it. Those I've found who live closest to their Book are converts.

Anyway, back to topic, I have to wonder if it's because, culturally, those men don't talk to women who aren't family in general?

no offense, but when i read your post, i was like "why are you even dealing with him if he's that annoying"..that's kind of sad......

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Like I've said before, Alhamdulillah I found the message of Islam before I met the Muslims...

You're not the first to feel that way . . . Islam is wonderful, but I can't stand the Muslims

now that was an interesting link. where do you pinpoint the failures that causes what the author writes about?