9 months later but NO DIVORCE

[Surviver 0]

I don't qualify for legal aid and I've already got credit card debt I'm punching away at.

I haven't taken a cash advance out on a credit card in six years and I swore never to do that again because that's how the credit card companies get you. The debt I have now is not humongous, but it's taking a long time to pay it off because they absolutely screwed me on the interest rates for cash advances. The interest rates they have for straight charges are nothing compared to the interest they charge for cash advances. Another lesson I learned the hard way!!

I'm just going to use my savings, I'm staying away from debt of any kind!

I did my own divorce myself for about a grand total of under $48 ($30 for the filing fee, $18 for a book, complete with a CD of forms in both PDF and Word format). And we had a child, to boot. Luckily, we were both amiable on the divorce enough to swing it, but if you're just divorcing with no assets or children, I'd say the complete DIY route SHOULD work for you if all you want is to completely sever ties. In fact, I'd probably leave lawyers out of it totally. If he's not 100% aware that your affidavit of support makes you liable for him in certain financial ways, then I certainly wouldn't want to run the risk that a divorce attorney might MAKE him aware of that.

Seriously, as long as the immigration aspect doesn't throw up special, ornate roadblocks from attaining a simple, common divorce, I'd look at getting a book. Hell, I could send you mine, if you wanted it, although I'd issue a caveat: there WERE some things missing for my particular state that the judge who ruled on our divorce pointed out and literally had to go through and hand-correct. To be honest, he was quite annoyed that he HAD to do that, but I think he ultimately understood that we were not wealthy and that we didn't want lawyers involved, so he went easy on us and simply corrected my mistakes (I did all the forms and stuff myself; my ex is completely worthless when it comes to doing, oh, anything valuable in life). In the end, however, the judge signed them and we were divorced for less than $50. Those very same divorce papers were submitted for mine and my husband's K-1 and AOS packets. I think I just managed to pick a rather shoddy book whose forms were a little too generic; I'm sure there are FAR better books out there than the one I got, with more accurate and specialized information for each state.

You seem like a very intelligent, well-read, and competent woman - so my advice would be to get on Amazon, search for a DIY divorce book with good ratings (and hopefully containing state-by-state specific forms), and knock her out of the park. You CAN do it; it may feel a little overwhelming, but I think any of us who can get through the immigration process are MORE than able to navigate a divorce as well. It's all just paperwork and terminology, and you can learn those things. If you need any help, do let me know and I'd be happy to offer whatever advice I could as a DIY-er.

Make him pay! If he does not agree on divorcing you or with your separation agreement you can get after 1yr separed a divorce by publication or deposition... tell your lawyer that you want your husband to pay for all xpences for the divorce'and any debts you might have. if he cheated on you bring that to the divorce too... once the sheriff serves him the papers, he will have only 20 days to respond to it agreeing or disagreeing if he Does not respond... you get your divorce with all the resquests made on the agreement. If he decides to appeal it will cost him almost $10.000,00.

That's how it works in Virginia if you are a female and most of the states in US.

You can do it!