Nervous breakdown / Burnout

[Kimbear 53]

Mephys, i can only offer you my advice from first hand experience.

I'm very similar to you in how i care about others..to the point ppl have nicknamed me motherbear at my old work. I was there for almost 10 years. However it was a family business, and the exact same problems arised day after day. They were an almost mirror image of what you have been going though.

The employees were pushed and pushed so hard, yelled at screamed at etc. While we watched the Family slack off, do nothing, play games etc. For years this went on. It got to the point i could not do my job due to the Boss's kids messing half my stuff up. Fights and yelling started to break out between me and the Family ( sons daughters inlaws) that worked there.

It got so bad that I started havign chest pains, could not sleep, hated getting up in the morning, and just plain hated life it seemed. However my ex and I had just bought a house, car, and were living in Ontario and working in Quebec, and were heavily into debt becuz of this. So quitting was not an option. And as to taking a vacation..HA. They would not honor my 3 weeks as per my over 5years of employment there. They would call me in on vacation. I wouldn't even call in sick because nothing would be done without me there and then I would get yelled at for being on vacation aka " well if you were here none of the problems would have happend".

Finally I started yelling at my boss, showed him the heart monitor I was wearing and one day after a fight with his son..I just plain stormed out and left for the day.

When I ended up in the hospital from too much stress, constant migraines that almost made me black out, chest pains, and many other medical health issues that came about, i finally said F@#$k it. (I had no preexistng conditions of any of this..other than the occasional migraine).

After 10 years. as scared as I was to change jobs or possibly be unemployed and a burden to my bf at the time, I realized my health was more important, and that the job and the ppl / customers were just not worth my life. I started networking, talking to ppl, vendors, anyone who I saw frequently at the warehouse. I posted my resume on monster.

And I stopped caring so much about my current job ( to the despair of my coworkers as it meant they had to make up for my slack). I started takign my breaks and lunch and leaving on time no matter how much i was begged for "just 5 more minutes".

After 2 months I found another job. One that was more relaxed, paid twice as much and had health care. And was for a company that actually cared about its employees. I was 33 at the time, 2 years ago. And ya know what? It was the BEST decision i've ever made in my life!!!

Do not fret, this is just a temporary bump in the road. My advice, think about yourself first, as hard as that seems. It's not the end all be all. You are a wonderful person with lots of potential and a wonderful disposition. There are plenty of places out there for you. Take a vacation, leave of absence etc.

As Krikit put it so wonderfully "Clear your mind, it's all their in front of you".

Hugs you will get through this.

[Krikit 1,164]

That is awesome, Mephys. (((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

But you need to rest. *shakes finger*

Edited June 24, 2009 by Krikit

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I forgot.....thanks Charles for the flowers (how could I forget )

she saved the best for last

[Sprailenes 47]

It's great to be a hard worker but you just can't let it consume you. What I like about my job now is that I can go home and not worry about my job. Granted some of the people I work with are douches but you get that everywhere. I hope you find a better job soon.

[Krikit 1,164]

Wow, Kimbear. I just read your story. I am so glad things worked out for you and you got out of there.

Sprailenes, I've commented on your story before, but I don't want you to feel left out. Yay for you! LOL

[Sprailenes 47]

Lol I know I have shared it before... but just felt the need to chime in with my experience sorry all hehe

[Mephys 2]

Thank you Kimbear for sharing this. Really guys all of this is the slap in the face I needed this morning. Ya know, the perspective from an outsider that is not someone I work with or live with.

The people I get along with at work keep telling me it's not going to change, that I have to make some decision about it, either cope with it or leave it. And the funny thing is they complain about it everyday, yet they have been there for 3, 6, and even 10 years!!!! So I guess their decision is to cope with it.

Yes I am afraid of starting all over again. I apprehended it the first time, but now I have done my first break through in the US, it's going to be easier with potentiel employers.

I do have fear about a few things

1- The lack of jobs at the moment. It's not going to help.

2- How much I can "deal" about the salary. Can't be too picky, but can't just take anything either

3- My GC. I am just sending my application this week. My GC "expires" in 3 months. The job I currently have are aware of my "immigration" position at the moment and they know about it and it's all good. But not sure every gives a damn about the "extension" that comes with the NOA1 for the Removal of conditions.

I know I have nothing to lose if I just look around while still working there, because doing nothing ain't going to throw a job on my lap. On the other hand I woud like to work in something different, that doesn't require 24h care, AKA working with inanimate objects, no animals anymore, but I don't know where to look first.

Ah brainstorming...

Kri: Don't worry, I have to let the stress go away and then I will crash and take a good nap. My heartbeat went back to normal about 30 min after I called in for work.

Lol I know I have shared it before... but just felt the need to chime in with my experience sorry all hehe

Well It's MY thread, and all comments and personnal experience ARE welcome

Please do, please do

It's great to be a hard worker but you just can't let it consume you. What I like about my job now is that I can go home and not worry about my job. Granted some of the people I work with are douches but you get that everywhere. I hope you find a better job soon.

you are right, there are douches everywhere, some places just have the cream of the cream. aka the rotten apples. I can take a little douche, just not massive douche abuse.

[Emancipation 2]

You are a smart cookie Mephys.. I am proud of you

[Mephys 2]

You are a smart cookie Mephys.. I am proud of you

hmmmmm...cookies

I'll take double chocolate with choco chunks

[trailmix 77]

Mephys, this morning I had the tv on, watching the M&J show, which can sometimes be silly and I would link to their website, but it seems to be down at the moment.

Anyway, they had a segment where they interviewed a guy who developed a stress related anxiety disorder because of his work. Now, he appears to have liked his job, however the company wasn't doing well etc etc.

He did end up having to take a 2 month or so break from work, he felt sick, stomach problems, anxiety attacks etc. He felt 'weak' and pretty much embarrased and could not believe that stress from his job was actually making him feel this way.

Anyway, I just bring this up to let you know that it is not uncommon, so you are not alone and you are not weak!

Also, after reading kimbear's story, I hope you too will take a step back at work as I know you will probably stay there for a while - while checking out other opportunities. I know you care and you take pride in your work but I also hope you will step back and bit and let the others pick up their work ethic a bit.

Oh and do get yourself some chocolate cookies

[Mephys 2]

Mephys, this morning I had the tv on, watching the M&J show, which can sometimes be silly and I would link to their website, but it seems to be down at the moment.

Anyway, they had a segment where they interviewed a guy who developed a stress related anxiety disorder because of his work. Now, he appears to have liked his job, however the company wasn't doing well etc etc.

He did end up having to take a 2 month or so break from work, he felt sick, stomach problems, anxiety attacks etc. He felt 'weak' and pretty much embarrased and could not believe that stress from his job was actually making him feel this way.

Anyway, I just bring this up to let you know that it is not uncommon, so you are not alone and you are not weak!

Also, after reading kimbear's story, I hope you too will take a step back at work as I know you will probably stay there for a while - while checking out other opportunities. I know you care and you take pride in your work but I also hope you will step back and bit and let the others pick up their work ethic a bit.

Oh and do get yourself some chocolate cookies

Yeah I believe it can happen, it's just one of those things you tell yourself

"oh that can't happen to me right ? I am in control of everything and I am stronger than that right ? "

And here I am today, like the good old days before I started working, having fun on VJ.....I miss that too I am jealous of anyone that can browse VJ at work. Anyone has an opening ?

[trailmix 77]

And here I am today, like the good old days before I started working, having fun on VJ.....I miss that too I am jealous of anyone that can browse VJ at work. Anyone has an opening ?

Yes, make sure your next job gives you all day internet access!!

Edited June 24, 2009 by trailmix

[Mephys 2]

Speaking of next job, was browsing quick for job on Yahoo and for some odd reason the search the word "animal" came up with a job for

"Department of Homeland Security"

lmao

Wish I was a USC at the moment to apply there...nice paycheck between 25$-32$ /h yikes!!!

[Danu 19]

I've been through this as well sweety, and all I can tell you is do whatever is right for you.

I couldn't leave my job without finding a new one, but I did find a new one which was a good thing, higher pay, better hours and much less stress. See at the old job I didn't even realize just how stressed it was making me until the palpatations began and then one day, at blockbuster after a shift, didn't even thing anything was wrong, I passed out. Thankfully there was a nurse there at the store who helped me and I was taken to the hospital and hooked up to the EKG. My heartrate was just shy of what it would have been if I had had a heart attack. Thankfully nothing was wrong with me other than the stress. Your health is nothing to screw around with for sure.

If you want help job hunting let me know, I can see if there anything I can try to find that might be ok for you, I had to do it before too. Find a number for you that will still let you be comfortable, try to figure out what you would like for a schedule and look for something like that before you quit the hospital. It will give you the piece of mind at work to know "hey I'm working on getting the #### out of here" and the piece of mind while searching that you know for now you still have money coming in.

And if you ever need to vent, we are always here. Please don't feel like you are weak or anything. Stress is hard on our bodies and it only goes from bad to worse.

((((((((((Mephys))))))))))

[Krikit 1,164]

Yes, make sure your next job gives you all day internet access!!

Very essential for peace of mind, I hear.

Speaking of next job, was browsing quick for job on Yahoo and for some odd reason the search the word "animal" came up with a job for

"Department of Homeland Security"

Wow, Danu. Glad things went well for you. Did you work at Blockbuster or did you mean you just happened to be at Blockbuster when this occurred?