Petitioned dad, hardheaded

[Nik+Heather 121]

Though I must add: my sense of responsibility to my elders is something very very ingrained in me. Hence, the thought of saying "I cannot will not do X or Y for my parents or my inlaws" plain sickens me.

Finding that aspect hard to swallow as well.

[aaron2020 11,651]

This should serve as a cautionary tale for anyone who petitions someone else to become a Legal Permanent Resident. This is not the first time that someone has posted about deporting someone he/she petitioned for - whether it is a spouse, sibling, child or parent.

The petitioner has a legal responsibility to reimburse the government for means-based benefits received by the beneficiary when the government seeks reimbursement. The only other legal responsibility a petitioner may have is to his/her spouse or his/her minor child. Other beneficiaries - including parents - are not your legal responsibility.

NO ONE CAN "CONTROL" ANOTHER PERSON. This is one of the risk in bringing a relative to the US. The relative is very nice and cooperative during the immigration process, but may not be so after getting the green card. It's a risk in the immigration game. When you bring someone into this country, you are vouching for that person and you provide certain guarantees to your fellow Americans that the beneficiary will not be harmful to society. So long as the person does not violate the law, the person is free to do whatever he/she likes - including annoying the hell out of family.

My family annoys me all the time - sometimes I wish I could get them deported - however, they are all US citizens. Oh well - at least I am not responsible for them.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Possible Troll alert.

[nowhereman 1]

Possible Troll alert.

50% chance he's a Troll & 50% chance he's a Noob.

[rooster 1]

Hmmmm you can pretty well bet that the father supported the OP when they were younger. There does come a time when it is the children's place to help support the parents in some manner. It may not necessarily be financial but it is still support. I'm with Sister Len on this one. OP it sounds like it is time for YOU to step up to the plate and either help your dad out or leave him the he!! alone to live his life as he sees fit.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Hmmmm you can pretty well bet that the father supported the OP when they were younger. There does come a time when it is the children's place to help support the parents in some manner. It may not necessarily be financial but it is still support. I'm with Sister Len on this one. OP it sounds like it is time for YOU to step up to the plate and either help your dad out or leave him the he!! alone to live his life as he sees fit.

amen brother rooster. My parent changed my diapers. When time comes, I will do the same for them.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

80% troll -- OP hasn't returned, after insisting people to reply to this important issue.

[Nik+Heather 121]

80% troll -- OP hasn't returned, after insisting people to reply to this important issue.

A lot of the responses came nearly 12+ hours after the original post. Not everyone hangs around VJ all day long....

Last Seen: Yesterday, 10:40 PM

[Chica Yeyé 41]

80% troll -- OP hasn't returned, after insisting people to reply to this important issue.

A lot of the responses came nearly 12+ hours after the original post. Not everyone hangs around VJ all day long....

Last Seen: Yesterday, 10:40 PM

they don't???????????????? wth!!!

[caybee 21]

Hmmmm you can pretty well bet that the father supported the OP when they were younger. There does come a time when it is the children's place to help support the parents in some manner. It may not necessarily be financial but it is still support. I'm with Sister Len on this one. OP it sounds like it is time for YOU to step up to the plate and either help your dad out or leave him the he!! alone to live his life as he sees fit.

amen brother rooster. My parent changed my diapers. When time comes, I will do the same for them.

[emt103c 10]

possibly worse than a troll. . .sounds like he/she is serious. . .that is worse. . .

[LasVegasUSA 0]

My dad doesn't want to listen to me. He is not living with me now. He's living with his friend who are just feeding him and are not providing any healthcare insurance. They make him work and does everything they ask him to do. I'm worried that he might get sick and encounter an emergency. What will I do? Can I ask the homeland security for him to be deported? Please reply to this because he's giving me a lot of problems. Can I ask the Homeland Security form him to be deported because I can't afford for him to stay here anymore? mY FAMILY IS GROWING AND HE'S JUST GIVING US PROBLEMS

The reason maybe why he doesnt like to stay with you, is u are not a good daughter to him. Why not ask urself if why he is at his friend house and not with your family? Why he is happy there instead of staying with you...tsk tsk...

[Nessa 23]

funny

[venusfire503 54]

This will probably be an unpopular post, but I wanted to just add something. We don't know the OP. Yes, maybe it's an ungrateful son or daughter who just doesn't care about dear old dad. On the other hand, perhaps dear old dad is the problem. It says the dad won't work, and apparently has no health insurance. OP probably can't get insurance for dad (although it would be a good idea to look into it - I was able to insure my husband directly through Aetna, since I can't put him on my policy), and is concerned that he will get hurt or sick. As I've learned, many people who are having severe financial problems are having them due to medical problems. I know of at least 2 people who are finding themselves in a bind because of medical bills, and both of them have both income and health insurance. They both have children with medical needs that are not anyone's fault, and are extremely expensive (and insurance does not cover everything). I am a mother of 3. I love my parents, and would do just about anything for them. However, if I was financially responsible for them and one of them refused to get health insurance, I can't imagine I'd want to make the choice between their needs and the needs (food, clothes, a home) of my children. All of us who are USC sponsors run the risk of financial ruin by bringing someone here to this country. I'd be willing to bet that 99% of us think it won't/can't happen to us. And that's probably true in most cases. But what happens to OP and children if dear old dad gets hurt or sick, and ends up applying for and receiving means based benefits, then gets caught? OP, who it sounds (like most people) is a little tight financially, will then have to figure out how to support a family as well as pay back Uncle Sam. It's a tough spot to be in.

I think the OP is just concerned about the future. Again, I love my parents, but they taught me that my children come first. I think we need to take care of our parents, but I also feel that responsible parents do not burden their adult children unnecessarily. It sounds like the OP's dad is able (more or less) to take care of himself right now. Asking "can I deport him" was a little ... blunt for my tastes. I think what OP really wants to know is "how can I protect myself and my children from possible financial ruin?"

OP is not the first who wants to find a way to avoid major financial hardship as a result of sponsoring someone. I don't think there's a way out, however. OP has my sympathy for the predicament. As I said, it could technically happen to any of us (with children, as well as 'beneficiaries'). My dad had a saying that we don't determine our futures. We all take our risks, it's just that most of us 'get lucky'. I thank God that many of my risks turned out ok. I've had some problems that weren't my fault, and they cost me dearly - financially and otherwise. Yes, I complain about it. But I deal with it anyway. Don't really have any other choice. At the same time, I really do feel bad for others' misfortunes, and understand others' concerns. Even when they don't express them in the best way, let's say.

venusfire

P.S. OP probably hasn't come back because of the responses. I most likely wouldn't. In case OP ever reads these posts - my advice - look into getting dear old dad a health insurance policy. It might be affordable, or at least more affordable than any medical bills.

[aaron2020 11,651]

This will probably be an unpopular post, but I wanted to just add something. We don't know the OP. Yes, maybe it's an ungrateful son or daughter who just doesn't care about dear old dad. On the other hand, perhaps dear old dad is the problem. It says the dad won't work, and apparently has no health insurance. OP probably can't get insurance for dad (although it would be a good idea to look into it - I was able to insure my husband directly through Aetna, since I can't put him on my policy), and is concerned that he will get hurt or sick. As I've learned, many people who are having severe financial problems are having them due to medical problems. I know of at least 2 people who are finding themselves in a bind because of medical bills, and both of them have both income and health insurance. They both have children with medical needs that are not anyone's fault, and are extremely expensive (and insurance does not cover everything). I am a mother of 3. I love my parents, and would do just about anything for them. However, if I was financially responsible for them and one of them refused to get health insurance, I can't imagine I'd want to make the choice between their needs and the needs (food, clothes, a home) of my children. All of us who are USC sponsors run the risk of financial ruin by bringing someone here to this country. I'd be willing to bet that 99% of us think it won't/can't happen to us. And that's probably true in most cases. But what happens to OP and children if dear old dad gets hurt or sick, and ends up applying for and receiving means based benefits, then gets caught? OP, who it sounds (like most people) is a little tight financially, will then have to figure out how to support a family as well as pay back Uncle Sam. It's a tough spot to be in.

I think the OP is just concerned about the future. Again, I love my parents, but they taught me that my children come first. I think we need to take care of our parents, but I also feel that responsible parents do not burden their adult children unnecessarily. It sounds like the OP's dad is able (more or less) to take care of himself right now. Asking "can I deport him" was a little ... blunt for my tastes. I think what OP really wants to know is "how can I protect myself and my children from possible financial ruin?"

OP is not the first who wants to find a way to avoid major financial hardship as a result of sponsoring someone. I don't think there's a way out, however. OP has my sympathy for the predicament. As I said, it could technically happen to any of us (with children, as well as 'beneficiaries'). My dad had a saying that we don't determine our futures. We all take our risks, it's just that most of us 'get lucky'. I thank God that many of my risks turned out ok. I've had some problems that weren't my fault, and they cost me dearly - financially and otherwise. Yes, I complain about it. But I deal with it anyway. Don't really have any other choice. At the same time, I really do feel bad for others' misfortunes, and understand others' concerns. Even when they don't express them in the best way, let's say.

venusfire

P.S. OP probably hasn't come back because of the responses. I most likely wouldn't. In case OP ever reads these posts - my advice - look into getting dear old dad a health insurance policy. It might be affordable, or at least more affordable than any medical bills.

Thank you for this well thought out reply. I would like to add that making the decision to sponsor family for a visa should go beyond "because it's family." The petitioner needs to consider whether the beneficiary will likely become a public charge. This is why the Affidavit of Support is a stand alone document. When a petitioner brings someone over, that person is guaranteeing that taxpayers will be reimbursed if the beneficiary becomes a public charge. If someone takes on this risk, I feel bad for him if the beneficiary becomes a financial burden, but the petitioner should not expect sympathy as it was a risk that was made clear from the beginning.

I bring this up because lots of people want to bring elderly parents over without thinking through the financial cost to their spouse and children. The parents are often not able to work or find work because of old age, lack of marketable skills or lack of English skills. The parents are not entitled to Social Security or Medicare. Petitioners need to consider the potential consequences of such sponsorship rather than just naively hoping that everything will work out.